Do you find GAG to be toxic at times?

Toxic as in it's sometimes triggering and can exacerbate any negative feelings or insecurities.
When I feel this way I usually take a break from it but come back because I find it to have been helpful.
But I've been thinking about leaving it altogether.

  • Yes
    82% (31)62% (36)70% (67)Vote
  • No
    18% (7)38% (22)30% (29)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
What I mean by toxic negativity is questions that are similar to my experience and that bring negative flashbacks and or violent or hateful questions.
Awww what happened to my anonymous friend Douglas?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Positive - Its helped me realize that others have similar opinions as I do, and makes me feel less of an outcast.

    Negative - people like @RationalMale and @wölfin-fräulein made me realize that racist attitudes still exist in society. A culture of looking at blacks as sub-human, and that race relations still have a long way to go.

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    • I totally agree with this assertion. Yeah, those 2 I recognize, lol.
      Made me feel like I'm not the only one going through bad times andthere are still decent people out there.

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    • @Tokana
      if we ever met I have a feeling you'd be the next Trayvon Martin. ;) Figures you'd threaten me. You apparently threatened to kill some random girl for disagreeing with you, so why not me? More negative stereotypes being reinforced... and you wonder why whites think black men are violent, uptight jerks?

      And we brought up race into your opinion? you didn't just type our names, you did a mention to make sure we knew, and then said we viewed blacks as sub human. You brought up race and slandered me and the Wolfin.

      You're a whiny little passive aggressive bitch.

    • @RationalMale

      You're a disgusting human being for bring up Trayvon Martin (RIP)

      There was never a threat to kill someone, you simply put that into your own head.
      Just go away now, cause you're simply making yourself look like a bigger fool.

      You call yourself a man, while hiding behind a computer screen. I will now block you because you're not worth my time.

What Guys Said 36

  • its all entertaining to me lol. I keep my shit separate so yeah :D

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    • Lol, it's good that have a good sense of humor about it. Humor is always a good coping skill. Sometimes though, some scenarios trigger unwanted memories or feelings. Guess that means I'm human.

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    • hahaa I like evil aliens! without them movies would be no fun hahaa. okay but now TBH again! I think im starting to connect the dots with cat people... see I thought you meant cat people.. as in cats that are also a hybrid combination of people... but now im thinking you meant cat people like people who have too many cats LOL. idk! xD

    • No. I meant feline humanoids, sadly -_-
      I could not make this stuff up even if I tried.
      Lol, @cat people, yeah they're from somwhere else alright but it's definitely an immensely cute and fuzzy place.
      I'll try to dig up those link up for you.

  • No not really. I use this site to kill time and to watch people debate. I like open forums since you'll see all the different views on various topics. I like the variety of people (smart people, stupid people, trolls, the serious folks) I appreciate them all, they each bring a certain uniquneeds to gag. I don't get flashbacks or negative feelings from this site, any negative feelings I have, got nothing to do with this site.

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    • I think since it has to do with relationships it's more toxic than it would be for others. I'm such a Libra, lol.

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    • I'm agnostic but I lean more towards atheism. I do try to be optimistic and open minded about the different theories from other religions but they usually have contradictions or come down to pure faith, believin in something that can't be known. I think the existence of god or an afterlife is unknowable. It's 50/50 just like a coin toss , and youn don't know the result of the coin toss until it lands, aka when you die. I try to be open to the different theories but I don't BELIEVE in any of them. I just try to not get emotionally involved in the results of a coin toss. Oh I didn't mean I like pocahontas, well I don't dislike her but I was just talking about meeko her pet raccon. he's my favorite part of the movie.

    • I agree with your analysis on religion. I just like Pocahontas because I'm Native American, haha.

  • Personally, no. It's generally been a plus for me, and made me feel better about myself, more okay with things about myself, more positive.

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    • That's been the same pluses for me but there are negatives that are like wtf? Where is humanity going with itself?

  • I wouldn't say "toxic" but certainly annoying at times. I'm *so* tired of the endless questions like:

    "Is my dick too big/small?"

    or

    "Rate me out of ten please? I know I'm good looking, but I need the internet ego boost today"

    And my personal favorite, all of the questions from guys that all boil down to:

    "Ladies, please answer this weirdly specific, sexual question, that I'm totally not getting off to right now"

    *That* is what bothers me sometimes here. There really should be a filter on terrible posts like that.

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    • Hahahah!! This is so accurate. Yeah, I recognize some of the same things that disturb me on this list.

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    • Exactly. I hope this place stays quiet and smaller.

    • Absolutely. Here's hoping!

  • No, not really. Although sometimes I'm really disappointed when I see people give answers that are very offensive towards people that haven't done anything wrong. Like someone talking about being gay, or about getting stupid remarks related to their race.
    You will than see opinions sounding like "whore" or "piece of sh...". When I see such things I wish I could expain the person what growing up means. So childish.
    But in general I enjoy gagging. And fortunately most members are nice people :-)

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    • Yeah, most are nice.
      I usually stay away from commenting on sexuality and especially race questions unless I want to learn more about it since I don't know everything and I don't like picking unnecessary fights, you know?
      In all GAG is more helpful than it is harmful. If anything I'd stay but just take breaks from time to time.

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    • It is. If one day you'd get elected just do it... little obligations except to respect the GAG policy yourself... and in general a nice thing to do indeed.

    • Good to know, thanks.

  • Eh I just laugh it off because it's the internet.

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    • Yeah, I suppose.

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    • I bet most of them have no balls to say what they want to say in real life.

    • They definitely don't, or most don't.

  • Sometimes, but by now I've blocked most of the toxic users who kept making antagonistic posts toward me so it's not much of a problem.

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    • Hm, seems to be what most people do.
      I think making a scene about not liking somebody is silly and a waste of time.

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    • Yes, the women pick the chiefs and decides who goes to war and makes important ddcisions regarding the balance of it all. They can veto decisions too. The Iroquois have 50 chiefs or sachems representing thier bloodline.

    • Oh okay, that's interesting.

  • no (filler)

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  • I try not to take in others issues unless they stop by I am willing to help people
    but i managed to learn to ignore the haters , nonsense

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  • I don't really let it get to me because I just login, answer random stuff, and move on. But I think if a person's surrounding themselves with topics like religion, feminism, and other such heated topics that they'll get really pissed off after a while. Some of the walls of text back and forth that I've scrolled through really give me the impression that some people are red in the face at their phones/PC's and flipping out.

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    • Lol! Sometimes sarcasm doesn't translate too wel in text.
      I just take breaks from those topics if I have nothing to contribute.

  • I do but I feel that like in any online community it will happen. Sadly on a website like GAG people should be helping and giving constructive answers. If you see toxic behavior reporting it is the best thing you can do.

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  • Yeah, there are no words for how much I feel psychologically exhausted by the devout Muslims who can't accept the fact that mutilating children's genitalia without their consent for an entire lifetime is technically child abuse and a violation of rights and a disregard for choice and bodily integrity.

    But it's not nice being angry, so I think if people keep this stupid nonsense up I will actually just start blocking them.

    Voted A) because even right now I feel kind of angry at that noise.

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    • I was having that debate for like 10 hours now. People seriously need to learn how to read, and maybe grow some empathy or something.

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    • I have figured out that the right solution to these problems is that if people are unwilling to listen to reason after debating with them for days, you can just block them.

      I used to be against blocking but I have to preserve my sanity somehow, as much there is left of it.

    • Yes. I know, some people just don't want to wake up. They like their jaillcells because they think they are safe and afraid to leave what they know. If only they knew how much more freedom they'd have.

  • No in a way the negative stuff I perceive as of I'm looking at an ant farm.

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    • That's actually really fascinating. How is it an ant farm?

    • I mean sometimes I'll observe stuff on here like watching an ant farm but most of the time I don't pay attention and fly around to what I find interesting. The negative stuff is a sentiment I'll notice occasionally but I'm usually not interested. Sometimes I find certain topics funny.

    • Oh ok I see. I usually only pick interesting questions too.

  • Yes, vry much, it's not what people say to me, but some of the comments I've seen made to others, I don't see how people can do that to each other, its sad and angering at times

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    • Yes it is. Some people need professional help.

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    • I was going to but when I went to her profile and saw her recent posts she seemed alright, and I don't want to bother ppl,

    • That's very caring.

  • It helps me realize things about myself.

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  • The ignorance on here is draining, but mostly it's only toxic in the sense that I use it as a distraction from my life which is always a counterproductive thing to do.

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    • I feel the exact same way.

    • Then you should know that the misery you try to distract yourself from would actually be alleviated if you stopped ignoring it and focused instead on more productive endeavors, which would not only serve to concretely improve your situation but would also make you feel better about yourself, thus creating a virtuous cycle of self-empowerment and happiness.

      I'm not going to do it, but hey.

    • That's what I'm trying to do :/
      Thanks for the advice :)

  • It is sooo true there were times when i would just sit on it and never leave the bloody screen but now since i'm so busy with something worth doing i don't often come here so i think once you'll get busy things will be fine.

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  • Yes, it can be very toxic. Especially with all the race/ethnicity and religion question.

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  • I'm not affected, but I can see how it can be for other people

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    • Yes. You're probably just really good at disassociating from the negative.

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    • Hahaha someone have to make up from all the lack of thinking by thinking more then necessary right? :D

    • Lololol!!! Yes, it seems to be that way.

  • You are toxic actually ❤ :p :p

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  • Actually to me it's one of the more positive websites I've seen WAY worse websites

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  • Poor little @Tokana can't handle life. :( Are you ashamed of being black, so you explode when someone even acknowledges simple facts?

    And seriously? "keyboard commando"? What a bitch move. What, like I'm going to come to Canada to try to slug it out with you? And you write that as you threaten to murder/maim people for disagreeing with you... what a feral.

    Careful about threatening to kill people in the States for disagreeing with you. In a lot of States, if someone goes from debate to threatening to maim/kill you, that's legal grounds to make them the next Trayvon Martin. ;)

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  • I don't really care what others say

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    • That is good. I guess too much negativity though is overwhelming for me. Naturally.

    • many people can call you names, mostly in real life. getting influenced by it just changes your personality and makes you behave strangely. I find real life to be harsher then this site, here are just some stressed out people and some white knights to compensate for it

    • Very good observation. I feel the same. The most important thing is what you think of yourself. No doubt about it.

  • When I see rape

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  • I cannot say this site triggers many emotions positive or negative, though I do sometimes have a laugh. End of the day people could say nasty things to me on here or another site and it wouldn't affect me in the slightest, end of the day it is the internet, so they can shove it where sun don't shine.

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    • Yes. What triggers meis reading situations that remind me of past experience or stories of cruelty.

  • Funny you say that, because I'm leaving myself.

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    • Nooooo!! Not you @red_dragon! Why are you leaving? :( I'm staying so you better stay Mr! >:(
      Do you need a hug?

    • Too abnormal and I feel I have to limit myself on here. Maybe I'll come back one day. Idk. Who I am as a person I doubt will change much though... and that's the problem.

    • I know. :/ Well it was nice to know you. Take care friend.

  • certainly. i just dont treat these people too seriously

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    • Yeah, it's not so much comments directed at me, minus any racist ones but just some questions and comments on certain topic in genral. Ah well, time to gain a better perspective.

  • Triggering? No. My Generation isn't "triggered" by words.

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    • Interesting... how come in your opinion?
      I surely am.

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    • Of course I do. Why would me disagreeing with you mean I have a mental disorder?

    • It doesn't. You're accusing me of being fragile, but you didn't really understand why I said this place is at times toxic.
      I mean being upset at sad and sadistic stories is being fragile? Wow.

  • I find it a place were you can sort of get answers for a lot of things that you can not fully understand. A place were we can share our thoughts and opinions which we usually find it hard to do around friends or family. Things that has happened in the past remains in the past and can not be changed, why would I get stuck up on that.

    Learn from your past and focus on what remains to be done. Help out others that are confused, if you had some experiences to share.

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  • I'll be honest and say that I don't really find this site helpful at all, it is very fun but not helpful in my opinion, I am an adult and if I have questions about a girl that I am dating, then I'll ask her in person.

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    • It's helpful at times but sometimes just not.
      I agree. I think it's best the person in person if you can.

  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 23

  • Not usually, except when I have the misfortune to encounter an abusive, supercilious or extremely intolerant bit of human filth. Thankfully, these are rare.

    I do get annoyed talking to those who keep misconstruing what I say though. No one enjoys trying to rationalise with a brick wall, and people who stick to extreme, black-and-white and you-or-me worldviews are just that.

    That aside, this has been a relatively pleasant place, all in all. Repetitive topics aren't a crime, and people with sad stories just need someone to listen and give them a hug.

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    • I agree with what you say about black and white thinking. None of these are crimes. For example any anonymous posts about having raped someone and cheating on their wives or husbands or straight up murder confessessions make me sick.

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    • I know right? Posting it is almost as pyscho as the crime. It's like they get off on it. Sick. Strange world we live in.

    • Well, some perps do like to boast about their crimes. It's part of their narcissism or God complex, which might've driven them to commit the crime in the first place.

  • Yes, sometimes. But it also helps sometimes. I'm definitely not the ideal girl for most of the guys on here, so a couple times when there's been a question about dating, I feel a bit insecure or pessimistic about the dating world. But that's a problem within myself. Or sometimes there will be toxic users that harass others. I had this happen awhile back when I gave my opinion on a touchy subject. It's happened a few times since I've been a member on here. I've had some people say some really awful things to me. Granted, I'm a very sensitive person, but I wish I wasn't.

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    • That sucks to hear, sorry about that. It's the negative stories that are triggering.

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    • @Chronos91 Thank you. :) I don't mean my appearance. Moreso my body type, my personality, and the things I want in life. :)

    • @misupanda You're welcome. Eh, screw them. Unless you find anything about yourself affecting the quality of your life or people you care about, you shouldn't have to answer to anyone. Least of all faceless strangers you'll likely never meet in life.

  • Yes I do because a lot of people really and truly believe that this community represents the whole world and they take everything to heart and that is unhealthy. Most of the opinions on major issues on this site I have never experienced outside of GAG so I take a lot of things that I see on here with a grain of salt. I can't say the same for others. There are too many sensitive and naive people on here. Some people give great advice and others like tearing people down because deep inside they have issues and instead helping they want to hurt people. You don't have to believe what everyone says only take it into consideration. I do get irritated by how ignorant people still are about a lot of things and how mean and hateful people can be and it makes me think sometimes not negatively about myself but negative in general about people but it usually provoked by knowing that people can be a certain way. It's not surprising but still annoying

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    • Nobody has really ever insulted me on hear. It's just the negative stories that are triggering.

  • I get offended when I read some things. But, then I think: "This is the internet, it's not the real world". So, I forget it or laugh about it.

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    • Yes, true. But it's real world people using the internet. Though of course, it's important to take things with a grain of salt if that.

    • Exactly, you're right. But some of the things they say are unrealistic.

    • Yes, lol. Or maybe not ○_○

  • no don't leave! just ignore the negative questions and do your part to make it a more positive place

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    • Lol, thanks. I stay for the cool people and friends I've made here.
      Ok, seems like a good suggestion.

  • Sometimes this website can be pretty tough. With people being either super dense or when I'm remembering bad memories. I do however love this sight as the advice has helped me start making friends, stop dwelling on the past and have fun.

    I love you all ♥

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    • I agree with this place being good for dwelling on the past, making friends nd having fun. That's why I stay and am so divided. :/

  • Yeah thanks to all the Islamophobes on here otherwise GAG is a good place. I just think GAG needs to do something about the racism

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  • People can be a little mean, but I honestly find it funny, or at least soemtimes. People say the weirdest things when they know you can't see them.

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  • yup. deactivation is always an option

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    • Yeah, but I'm not thinking of doing that any time soon. I can take breaks though.

  • I don't but I understand why it would for some. Compared to fetlife though I really love this site. People here are so supportive

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  • Oh yes. when I try to leave this site I come back a few hours later. this happens on a daily basis lol

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    • Yeah, I leave for months at a time and same. Oh well, I guess I like helping people more than these things bother me so I'll just look at that.

  • Yeah. I've been thinking I need a break from here too.

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  • I voted No. Though, there is a lot of negative stuff, ultimately its all a mind game. If you don't take the negative stuff seriously, you will win it EVERY SINGLE DAY.

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  • Yes so I stay away for a while recently n then come back fresh

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  • Yup, GAG has it's moments

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  • Unresolved issues? It happens and i know it triggers ppls anger to a great deal here. I could feel the heat from some sexually abused people here.

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  • yup it happens but who gives a shit? not me xD lol it's the internet

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    • Yes, but I'm referring to the negative vibes from the some GAG questions not rude comments towards myself, I haven't had much of a problem with that yet.

    • yeah some does. I usually just try to get it off my mind if i read one.

  • GAG? Toxic? No way!

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  • I definitely agree with you. I'll come online to goof around sometimes, but then I'll click on a question and read a conversation about something I am insecure about, and all of the replies will say things that only re-enforce the reasons that I am upset. I know it's "just a website", but for someone who's really insecure about certain things, and seeing lots of topics that put down other people with the same problems you have, it's hard to not to take it a bit personally, even when not directed at you. I also have a really severe mood/anxiety disorder and have not yet found a medication that helps, so sometimes things can (i hate this word, but it's the only fitting one) trigger me when normally, for any normal person, it would be something to shrug off. I know the reasoning behind my panic, and I don't blame the site for it. For this reason I only come on occasionally, because some of the questions and answers make me feel a little down about myself and flare up my anxiety. This will probably be riddled with replies of "get a life" or "stop taking things too seriously", but I guess I can't help that. It IS just a stupid website, but please do realize that there are actually people behind the screens that are going through a lot. There's a difference between "tough love" comments and straight-up rude comments. This IS a website to ask about problems, so it's to be expected that some of the people that come here are sad... is it not?

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  • 75% of the women on this site are delusional and 75% of the men on this site are bitter. Yes, it can be a toxic and often utterly ridiculious but, it is entertaining.

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  • Mostly I've had decent experiences on here but I did have someone attack me personally on a thread once and it did hurt my feelings.

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  • Thing is with something like GAG is that everyone will have different values, ideas, and thoughts on what they think is right or wrong. That's the great thing with it. Were here for opinions after all.
    We can ask the masses for opinions to our questions and as it isn't face to face we get an arroy of different minded people feeling confident to say what they really think.

    If someone can't handle what is said, then you are probably right. Don't look. However, if someone elses typing is having that much of an effect I believe it is down to how you deal with things personally rather than what is actually said.

    You will come accross people who are negative in all sorts of places in your life.
    If is down to you how you react to any given situation good or bad, it's not them who control your feelings or cause you to feel a certain way. It's you. We have the choice on how we act and react even though it can be easier said than done.

    I personally think GAG is great, sometimes I don't like peoples answers or attitudes, but I don't take it personally.
    When we try to understand that everyone has different values and sees right and wrong differently, things can become a whole lot easier. Easier to forgive, forget, or just ignore and move on.

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    • The thing is is that I don't ak rate me questions because
      A) I don't need to
      B) I dont want to
      C) Other people's opinions are irrelevant
      This place is toxic because some to the questions remind me of things I rather forget. And some topics are just revolting for any decent human being.

    • Yes well rate me questions is a recipie for disaster really and quite uneccesary.
      If someones question reminds you of things you don't like, it doesn't make them toxic. It's how it makes you feel. Yes somethings to some people are revolting, but to others they wouldn't be. Again everyone is different. You have strong beliefs of what is right, they don't match everyone elses. Like you say, if it is having this much hard to you. Just don't come on here. Problem solved.

    • Yes, rate me questions are usually a recipe for disaster. Yeah, I think I'll just take a break.

  • I just joined and I already have trolls attacking me for no reason

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    • Welcome to the club. Just ignore them. First of all there was a Canadian study done that found psychopaths and sociopaths are most likely to be trolls than others. As long as they're not murdering people I guess. :/ Others I'm convinced are psychic vampires who literally feed off negative emotions. Ignore them both and stay alive :)

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