To all of the "old" people who are on this site - why?

This site seems to be dominate by people aged 16-30, and even 30 seems a little "old." I put old in quotations because I'm not saying a 40 year old is actually elderly, but they are older than most people on this site. And I'm really not trying to say that "they don't belong," I really am curious as to why a 40-yr-old dude would want to be a part of this site where you have 18-yr-olds asking "is my dick big enough" and "he smiled do you think he likes me"?
Is it that you older people have questions about dating too? How did you find this site and why did you join? Are you a part of many online forums?
As someone in college I joined because I have genuine questions about dating/relationships, and I will also use my experiences to answer questions. But I think I will grow out on this side and I don't anticipate still logging on when I'm 40. So I'm wondering, why do you like this site?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Think of it as a low cost low commitment mentoring program. We older dudes have learned a thing or two and we want to give back.

    I acknowledge that sometimes the signal to noise ratio here can get pretty bad. But there is still satisfaction to be had finding that one person who needs some help and giving it.

    Maybe someday I'll ask a question. For now though, I'm happy providing answers.

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    • As it happens, my wife hangs out here to. Sometimes we tag team in providing our perspectives. Isn't that right @GraySailorsBride ?

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    • That's really sweet that you do this together :)

    • Thanks very much for the MHO it has been my pleasure.

What Guys Said 23

  • Yeah, i have learned quite a bit actually on this site with regards to my own life.

    I don't ask a lot of questions, but i learn a lot from the people I talk to.

    And I've learned a lot about myself, and how I see myself has in some ways changed for the better thanks to the site.

    I'm not active on any other forums now, but I was in the past. TBH I was ready to be done with them, and GaG was where I needed to be.

    I can assure you the average 40 year old married couple doesn't know very much at all about how to have successful relationships, or how to communicate or negotiate, or think about their needs or others' needs. Nobody teaches this stuff, everyone's just muddling along.

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    • Okay that's cool, thanks for answering!
      Yeah it's great that a site like this exists where we can ask questions and learn things. And it's great to get advice from people who have experienced things before us! I was just curious :)

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    • This is the exact way I feel about the site as well.

    • That last paragraph gets an "amen!"

  • I am LMFAO as one of the "Elderly" at age 55 I'm on here because unlike you kid I have life experiences to offer at age 24 you have Zip I have raised 4 kids two of them daughters believe it or not kid we the 40 and older have a lot to offer with advice based on real life not fucking MTV the real world or the Bachelor.

    Where you and all the other 20 something's children are we the "Elderly" have been and we can help you children who think you fucking know it all avoid some mistakes that we made.

    And speaking for "Elderly " on here based on messaging with them both men and women 40 and older were having sex more often and better than you college children are.

    Why don't you just pay attention and listen you might learn something like say for example that you really don't know shit at your age.

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    • As I keep getting older (and yet I'm still relatively young!), the only thing I've realized is that people learn more all the time, yet they never truly know anything in the end.

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    • Your welcome and just to be clear I was using the word "troll" to cover those that are I did not mean to imply that you were trolling with this post.

    • @Mesonfielde
      " the only thing I've realized is that people learn more all the time"
      True dat. I asked my students a few days ago when you stop learning. Most of them thought it was some time during adulthood (they are 10 and 11 after all). Most of them understood when I told them you stop learning when you die... and then even maybe not.

  • I don't remember how I found it. It was several years back and it was mainly a higher age group than now. The young ones were not allowed to post on sexual matters. (Which meant they just lied about their age an went on.) So it has evolved and gotten younger (and I have gotten older). As to the questions asked, I guess immaturity (or stupidity) knows no age limits, but generally I find that older adults ask fewer lame questions. And some of them are full of excellent advice.

    You ask why we don't just ask friends or family. My generation grew up with far less openness that what exists today. As kids/young adults, we had questions, fears, weird interests, etc., but no one to talk to. We are still the same people and many of us still have those old values. Younger people seem far more willing to discuss things with their peers. So actually, a better question might be, "Why do the younger people who are more at ease talking with their buddies, com on to this site that many older people tend to rely on?"

    As for me, I am super careful about sexual answers to under age girls, (don't want to seem like a pedophile) but if the question is legitimate, I try to give an informative yet "tasteful" answer. I have messages from all ages asking questions directly, sharing experiences, and looking for support in their lives. I have also found some "older" people to hold conversations with. And not necessarily about anything in particular.

    GaG is a site that works well for all ages, so that is why we olders do not mind you Young'uns on here. ;-)

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    • haha yeah I think it's great that there's such a diverse age range on here, and thank you for being careful about answering sexual questions by those underage. You sound like you are very thoughtful and careful and give great advice :) Thanks for your explanation, that makes a lot of sense!

  • I am very happy that there are many older users on GAG
    i wish there was more, usually they have experienced more than me and can really provide wisdom and insight to many questions

    Thanks to all the "older" GAG users!

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    • Yeah it's great when they can give good advice. I was just curious as to what was so appealing about this site and how they found it in the first place. I can tell you that my parents would never look at a site like this so it's interesting that there are people their age, or people who are also parents, that do use this site.

    • haha i have thought the same but i never questioned it...
      thanks for asking though its been really interesting to read what the older people have to say

  • If you don't want the benefit of the knowledge gained by those of us who have been through all these experiences and might help you avoid some unnecessary mistakes, feel free to ignore us.

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    • I'm sorry that you're offended, I honestly wasn't trying to offend anyone and I tried to explain that in my question but I guess it didn't come across that way.
      I'm not complaining about older people on this site. If you want to give advice from "all these experiences" you are certainly allowed to do that and I'm sure you have helped out a bunch of people on this site.
      I just am surprised when I see a person aged 45 who is constantly commenting. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, just that society says kids 15-25 are the ones who are "obsessed with social media," but obviously there are plenty of people older than that on the internet too. A hugely popular platform like Facebook is used by anybody, and it's not surprising to find someone's grandma on Facebook. But GaG? People don't go around talking about this site (at least not where I'm from) so I'm really curious as to how someone your age would find this site. That's all. I'm not attacking you, I'm just curious.

    • I got internet access 20 years ago (so as to make myself feel even older) and have been on chatrooms and forums ever since.

      I stumbled across GaG looking for dating discussions.

      The problem with the internet is tone is so hard to convey in text - and given there's been more than a few 'ewww, old people' topics in the past this seemed like another one. Sorry about that. I think in the midst of all the boob size/dick size/fatness/why does my crush stare at me nonsense there are genuine questions in need of genuine answers.

      I'm also not happy about becoming old, I don't want to become an old curmudgeon in terms of personality!

  • Thank you for putting "old" in quotation marks.

    I came to this site because of an article a friend of mine referred me to. I googled more information about the article, and one thing that came up was a question asked here. I thought it was intriguing, so I wanted to answer it. Hence, I joined.

    At first I was a bit dismayed by the number of penis size questions, does he/she like me questions, etc. However, I realize that some people genuinely are seeking answers. I try to bring my experience to bear. Also, I have questions of my own, and initially I really liked doing polls.

    Aside from that, I tend to be a bit like the NSA when it comes to trends and relationships. I listen to internet chatter, the overall picture not just specific opinions, then try to make some sense out of broad trends and ideas.

    I can get scrappy at times, but I tend to like to help people out, particularly when they're experiencing pain that I've been through. So I try to help them muddle through it the same way I did. I tell them things that worked for me, and try to keep them clear of things that didn't.

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    • Oh, I forgot to mention. Being on this site has opened me up to the possibility of dating again. A very tenuous possibility, granted, but a possibility.

  • Yeah, honestly I just joined after following some links from Google and seeing some of the questions posted on here. Then it dawned on me that pretty much everyone here is MUCH younger than me. In fact, I found your question after googling "sites similar to girlsaskguys for older adults."
    Frankly though, I have to admit that age doesn't always equate experience in some areas, and what's true for your age group is still often true for ours. People really don't change that much.

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    • haha that's funny how you found my question. Thanks for your response!

  • I just like the conversations, and as for dating or questions about the opposite sex, well as you get older, you realise, that the more you think you know, the more you realise you know very little

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    • Okay thanks for the response!

  • er... they allow us to join...

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    • Yes I know they're allowed to join us. That's why I said in my question "I'm really not trying to say that they don't belong" I'm just curious.

    • ok... well i just come here because i can discuss stuff about life i cannot in the real world...

    • okay that's cool. Are you a member of other online discussion sites, or do you just use GaG?

  • a lot of people are here from years ago, this site was a more mature back then. many less younger people, more 18 and up, now it seems like everybody who has social media is on this site... this site used to be more of a secret I think

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  • I met some old losers days ago. Arrogant and annoying.

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    • some of the ones who commented on this question seem really nice and helpful. And others clearly didn't read my question and decided to attack me - I was just wondering why they joined and why they stayed. I've seen other questions on this site that say "why do you stay on this annoying site," so I don't know why I'm not allowed to ask the same question...

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    • One old loser told me: all women just love money, the society loves money. yada yada yada

    • I'm sorry, that's annoying :/

  • I would imagine they are on this site for pretty much the same reason you are. What does their age have to do with it? Why would it be any weirder for a 40 year old to be on here than it would a 20 year old?

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    • because the media likes to say that 20 year olds are "obsessed" with the internet and while there are a bunch of 40 yr olds on this site they are not the dominant demographic - I joined this site because I wanted relationship advice. I'm sure some older people want relationship advice as well, but most of the people 40+ who responded to this said they like giving advice. Which is a different reason than I am on, but a completely valid reason. I was only curious.

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    • that's cool!

    • Thank you ^_^

  • I am here to learn. Facinating. You are an F'ed up generation in a lot of ways but also have some redeeming qualities. I think yourngeneration is going to have severe problems economically because you are naive. But, more ot learn though.

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  • It's interesting to get people's perspective on things of all ages. Also, the younger folks seem to be a bit misinformed and tend to believe a lot of "internet facts", rather than the real facts.

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  • Because everybody wants the $20 amazon gift card or more depending on how many points you have.

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  • Some of the older people on this site have questions that a high school student might have.

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    • haha it seems weird to me that they wouldn't just ask their friends for advice... our generation grew up with the internet so of course we are used to going to the internet for help with our problems... that's why it seems weird when old people do it here

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    • @grey_sailor technology is beautiful

    • very cool perspective @gray_sailor thanks for sharing! You're right I didn't think about that.

  • Cuz they're 40 year old virgins looking to bang some 16 year old gagers DUH!

    jk

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  • 40+ is old in my opinion, but luckily, I'm not 40 yet ;))

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    • Yeah I didn't mean you guys are actually old, lol, just old compared to the many 16-20s on this site :)

    • Eh? Whadya say, sonny? My hearin' aid ain't workin'!

  • People like me in their 30s can still have insecurities.

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    • I know, I understand that. It's not as odd to see someone 30-35. I was sparked to ask this question cause I saw a guy in his forties responding. And of course, people in their forties can still have insecurities and need advice, but I wouldn't expect a forty year old to join a site like this to ask for advice. I just assumed they would get advice through other means. Based on the answers, it seems like most of the "older" people really like giving advice, which is cool! But that's really what I wanted to know - why they liked this site so much to join.

  • Age begins 40 so there is no drawback , i came here May 7 2014
    i like helping younger people cause i get along with lot younger people

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    • how did you find this site?

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    • ok cool that's how I found the site too

    • Yep :D

  • I'm 38, married, so I guess I qualify as "old", though I don't think 38 is old. Found the site while Googling for information about male circumcision, and there was a question thread about it I wanted to add comments on.

    I think I hang around the site partly as I like helping answer peoples questions, young people seem rather unknowledgeable and sometimes come here with serious problems, so having more 'life experience' and having broad knowledge, I sort of feel helpful. Other than that it's just sort of entertaining - it's interesting reading the various questions and comments, more interesting than lame sites like FB I guess.

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    • ok yeah I understand what you're saying!

      And sorry lol I don't think 38 is old, but compared to all the 18 year olds you are an "older" member of the site.

  • I don't know how long you've been around but I can tell you this site was mostly 20 to 35+ and recently is when all the young'uns started migrating here with their Penis questions and silliness.

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    • huh, interesting. Yeah I joined a little more than a year ago because I wanted to ask a question, and I was really active for a while, stopped logging on for a few months, and became active again over the summer.
      So do you think the site was better before the "young'uns" migrated? Were the questions better?

    • there is no better or worse question really, I mean there's silly questions and repetitive questions but as long as its a genuinely asked questions with no purposeful perverted undertone but to garner true honest opinions its just fine. the good thing about this site is that you aren't forced to answer questions you don't want, just leave them alone and move to the ones that intrigue something within ya.

    • that's true. Well thanks for the response!

  • The questions are interesting sometimes... like to share experience... like to see what younger generation thinks...

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What Girls Said 7

  • Mmmm ageism... Love seeing it. I like seeing older people on here. Their questions are more interesting and they have insightful answers. I don't see a problem.

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    • I didn't say that there was a problem. I'm sorry if you think my question is ageist because I honestly wasn't trying to attack any of the "older" members. I am just wondering why they like going on this site. Even I get annoyed by some of the questions that 16-year-olds ask here, so I kinda assumed that anyone 30+ would get annoyed by the questions that people in their 20s ask. But based on the answers, it seems that they really just like giving advice. And that is great. That's all I was wondering.

  • As a newly divorced woman who had been married 12 years, I am back out on the dating scene. All the "rules" have changed; when I was dating before, texting didn't even exist. The boundaries were clear and I understood the games. Now I am on online dating sites, meeting a wider variety of guts than ever before, and as confused as an 18 year old as to deciphering events in my dating life. I have learned quite a bit, though.

    I love to share my insights (I have always been insightful for everyone else but my own self, lol) and people can take it or leave it. I don't usually pull punches, I call it like I see it.

    In some ways, think if us as the hip older neighbors you would talk to over a Coke. We can give you the answers you are too embarrassed/ afraid to ask your parents or friends.

    I stay because I have people PMing me questions and in between the "Gee I am so very very tight" and "is 23" to big?". there are people who have body image issues, sex questions, life problems and heartbreak. These are the reason I stay.

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    • that's really nice that you give people such great advice that they want to PM you! Thanks for answering!

    • "All the "rules" have changed; when I was dating before, texting didn't even exist."
      Remember when cellphones were the size of bricks?

      I can't believe I just began a sentence with "Remember when..."

  • People of all ages seek advice on relationships, sex, intimacy.. Want to help too. This site is not just for 18-25 years olds. I have genuine questions and concerns too. I have asked several questions and received a great deal of help. I feel I have also been very helpful in sharing too because of my experience. People dont outgrow the need to get help in relationships, sex and intimacy. Just because I'm 47 doesn't mean I have no questions or needs. And I'm a mother to 2 teenage sons. I'm a better parent because in able to see what other young guys are going through and learn from them. I'm having an awful time in my life right now relationship wise and sexually pertaining to it. That is what brought me here. I am here for support and help.. Plus to help those who are interested in my opinions.

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    • That's great. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time and I hope you have been able to receive support and help. Thank you for also sharing advice. I know people don't outgrow the need to get help, I just assumed that people your age would find advice through different ways (asking family, friends, etc.) My parents would not go to the internet for advice, but I would, just because I grew up with the internet. So it's interesting to me that you would use this site. You are certainly allowed to, and I hope people on this site have helped you!

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    • " People dont outgrow the need to get help in relationships, sex and intimacy."
      True dat.

  • I wish this was around when I was younger and I had older people who could tell me that they had the same kind of experiences at my age and that I'm not alone. Instead, I had to feel alone and figure it out by myself. So why not give someone the comfort and joy I was denied?

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  • Because people can have problems about relationships at any age. And they can share experiences with those who are interested.

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    • I know they can have problems at any age, and it's great that they can give us advice, I was just wondering how they found the site - my parents would never go to the internet for advice, so I was wondering what is it about this site that appeals to people in my parents generation.

    • So many lonely people , especially on internet. This is how they found it.

  • Relationship and dating problems know no age. Plus, I like helping people and find some of the questions on here amusing.

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    • some of the questions are amusing haha. And that's nice that you like to help people!

    • (in my ornery voice)
      You're too young for this question, whippersnapper!

  • I like it, usually they have good advice, more experience.

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    • Yeah I have no problem with it, I was just curious as to how they would find this site and what was so appealing about it.

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