So after I did a survey?

Most women just want their men to make a move and kiss them. However, both the vast majority men and women said in my second survery said a woman can't consent if she is drunk.

Society seems to put a massive amount of pressure on men. Women to maintain the ability to tell a man to make a move but then to criticize him if he gets it wrong, especially when she is drunk. Feminists have advocated for unambiguous consent but not even women seem to want it.

Men is this unfair to you. I am a feminist. A TRUE feminist and I am attempting to see both sides. Women on this website, that commented on my posts, seem to be unable to define what consent is.

correction of typos- "women seem to maintain the ability"
Men is this unfair to you?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Back in school I remember that all the feminists in the early 1900's were the ones that actually were making things better. Like women's voting rights, job equality, and other basic equalities women didn't have up until that point. Today's "modern" feminists seem to create double standards, blame men for all their problems, and in general I think are creating a devide/hatred between the newer generations of men and women. I looked at the survey and in my opinion consent should be very black and white. You either wanted it or not. Adults have the ability to make decisions and to foresee what those decisions will effect, they aren't children. Women are virtually always favored by the courts as well especially with divorce. If I ever get married I'm going to get an ironclad prenup no matter what. Not because I want to but becuase it's just too dangerous not to. Basically what I'm saying is I wish more feminists were like the one's from the past who actually made things better for women and men.

    "Modern feminism has made men fearful to be men"


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What Guys Said 5

  • In the military, I've been in for some time, we are briefed weekly that if a woman has even one drink that she looses her ability to give consent. One alcoholic beverage.. A man can and will loose his entire career and likelihood bc he chooses to take a woman home that has, for instance had one drink.. I don't find that fair. This is the result of men overtime taking advantage of women who mentally didn't have the capacity to make a keen decision and therfore in today's society we live with those consequences others have made. It isn't fair but is a result of injustices, enough to make us think twice before getting a woman hammered to merely have sex.


    Man meets woman in bar, they hit it off, conversation is immaculate and they are flirting non stop. She has two drinks, not even hammered! What he doesn't know is she is married.. So he takes her to his place, they have sex and they continue talking for some time. Man gets a call one day from her husband, which he knew nothing about, now the woman is claiming man took advantage of her. In my profession, this soldier, will now loose everything.. His rank, his money, and his career. I don't find that fair at all.

    Consent is defined as, voluntarily agreeing to an act or proposal of another, which may range from contracts to sexual relations.

    In unambiguous consent, what would be the means to attain the clear decision?

    • In truth though any party that has had a drink looses the ability to consent. You can be charged with sexual assault or worse. Men also loose the ability to consent but I've never heard of a man claiming he was taken advantage of by a woman. I'm sure rare cases do exist I'm not aware of.

      Though it is unfair, I feel like it protects who it needs to and makes men more cautious with whom they take home and what we can get away with

    • The problem is we live in a new culture, very different from the past. What's the problem? Men still have all the responsibilities from this past culture, and all the disadvantages of the new culture. It's dangerous for men to engage in sexual activities, it's dangerous for a man to get married, it's potentially dangerous for men to do anything that involves a woman. We can have every aspect of our life taken away Becuase of the whims of a woman. This would be fine if women never lied and always did the morally correct thing. But every one knows that isn't the way people behave. As a man I see a rather bleak future with women.

  • That's why I'll never have sex with anyone, too risky now a days. Even if it's with a woman who I completely trust and we've known each other for a long time.

  • So then if he is drunk, can he not consent? This operates on the assumption that any man would sleep with any women as a granted. Now men generally want sex more, and will be up for casual sex, i have low standards for sex, but i wouldn't sleep with a fat or really ugly girl. Also people have to be responsible for their actions while drunk, people don't get off murder, theft etc, if they are drunk.

  • Its fair enough. Why not just go for it?

  • As long as you're not a feminazi... there's a difference

    • you need to explain more in depth

    • Show All
    • He was just asking to make sure you're not some extremist, (Feminazi) in disguise looking to flame men and trick them into "admitting" something incriminating. That sadly happens a lot on this site, and not just from women, but also from men who hate women after being oppressed by Feminazis. The men will try to trick real feminists like yourself into "admitting" they secretly support the Femnazi agenda. The reality is that the true feminists really do wish we could "all just get along".


      All about the feminazis

What Girls Said 3

  • I agree with you!

  • I wouldn't like it if a guy asked to kiss me. The best way to go about kissing is to lean in when the conversation lulls. Asking to be kissed is awkward.

    And unless the person has herpes on their mouth, you shouldn't really need consent.

  • Never thought about this before, good point. I advocate what true feminists are trying to do, but I personally enjoy being sexually dominated by men, and I am explicitly attracted to alpha males. For this reason, I don't claim to be a feminist myself. To you question, I personally give a full consent ahead of time, then I submit myself to whatever he may want. In the SDM community, there are more than just safewords. We also implement the red-light-green-light system. When something makes us uncomfortable we say "red light", but if we feel we may be able to do it with some slow safe guidance, we say "yellow-light".
    This is probably off topic, but my point is that I don't do ANYTHING with someone that is unfamiliar to me, or someone that I don't trust.
    I don't get drunk in public unless I've got people with me that I know and trust who can and will watch my back, and not leave me alone with strangers.
    I am against victim shaming/blaming, but at the same time, I don't leave myself vulnerable.

    • So you prefer a man asks "can I kiss you then?"

    • I won't kiss a stranger, so he would have already been close with me and gotten to know me, and would already know if feelings were developing. And I won't get drunk with strangers, so it's highly unlikely that I personally would be in this situation, but if he has to ask if he can kiss me, then answer will be no, because I prefer alpha men who take charge. It really is a double edged sword. I was just commenting because you're so right, and I'd never even thought about it before. Now if a guy did just kiss me, would I cry rape? No. If he takes the hint and leaves me alone after that if I'm no into him, then it was just mixed signals and I walk away.