Oh, I guess you have a social anxiety disorder. It is hard to be friend with other, loved by other if you don't love your self. It will make you confuse and it will grow into depression. You don't only have problem connecting but also a severe depression. Even two paragraph can't help you, you should go find a therapists, psychologists. Your problem is yourself. You can't fight it without the help of other person. And you are a 30 years old virgin :D
Dude, just put yourself out there and take chances. No one expects you to be perfect but you have to go out and start having fun. Just last weekend I went to the sand dunes in Colorado and had a whole bunch of fun. Just go out and talk and tell stories and just get something going. If this has anything to do with finding a girl to marry, don't do it, marriage is a sham for the weak. : )
A guy without looks is fucked across the board even if he is exciting with superb social skills... Now If he has money and/or looks, it doesn't matter if he has good social skills or full of Hollywood action film type of excitement ... A woman can be boring with poor social skills and still be successful dating and marrying
if you can die alone and happy do it. if you are sad change it, the less toxic people you find the better.