I'm not trying to wine. I've just been thinking lately that when most people ask a question about the opposite gender, they want a general answer. They take the most common answer and go based on that. Thing is, I'm really different from most guys so when a girl asks a question about guys I either don't answer or answer and feel a little awkward about it because I know that my answer isn't going to be taken into account much because it's just so different from the other guys' are saying. I want to help but I also know that my answer isn't going to help her much because I'm kind of a minority in the male gender. Can anyone else relate?
It depends on the person. For example, I'm a Christian and if I'm at church, my opinions are going to matter more than they might in a more secular setting. I'm also different in other aspects (I'm not high-maintenance, I don't wear makeup, and I dress modestly), so my opinion may mean less and is less likely to get MHO on this site (or the equivalent on others).
Yes, I do. I'm not like most women and I don't think like most people in general, I don't do what most people my age do and my start in life is a lot later then most. So, because of that my advice is more based on logic and common sense and sometimes good keen observation. But, since I'm not the norm and my advice isn't always the norm I just figure no one really pays attention to it. So, I completely understand how you feel.
Yes, but the fact that most people aren't going to be that perfect representation of their gender just tells you that you do matter. Your unusual answer will be the one that tells others, yes, we are all different.
Imagine if a girl asks if being dominate is attractive, and all the submissive men decide to not answer because they think they are too different?
You matter, because you are still on the spectrum. You need every color to represent a rainbow :)
I feel that way sometimes I know there is a lot more confident girls or have been asked out and stuff and I haven't so guys tend to take their advice not mine when its not they know more than me but they have more guys wanting them so they take their adviceooo
I think you ought to put your answer out there anyway. Certainly when people ask stuff on here, they're hoping for a general answer 'cause they usually really want to know the truth about some individual guy in their lives. But if your answer is different from the norm, that helps the asker see the range of possibilities. Hope you post more!
My opinions are also not always what everyone thinks, but I think that's okay and it's good to let the asker know that there are also people who think totally different and that that can happen. Sometimes they really appreciate it. So let your thoughts flow and maybe you'll see that people agree with you and then maybe you see you're not that different
There's nothing wrong with that. And don't stop sharing your opinions :) there could be someone out there just like you who reads it and finds in beneficial or relatable. Just like your question here to some people !:)
Ugh I hate when people complain about how different they are :9 NO sweety.. I 'only' pick unique answers. If your answer's irrelevant to the topic and useless, of course I won't pick it. If it's unique and helpful I will :)
I don't think you are that much of a minority. You just aren't the walking stereotype of what a guy is suppose to be, so people like you don't feel comfortable speaking up. This then adds to the myth that all of us guys are alike since guys with different opinions aren't as likely to speak up.
Also a lot of what other guys say is because of society teaching us to act that way. We are suppose to act like "real men". If we don't then we are made to feel shamed for not acting like a man, and therefore failing as a member of our gender. So society teaches men how we should act, instead of letting us be ourselves. If you weren't raised that way, then you are less likely to act like a stereotype of men. I know a lot of guys I grew up with were struck by their parents if they were caught crying because "boys don't cry" and they all act much more like the stereotype of what men are suppose to be today.
While I do believe there are some differences in the genders, often they are greatly exaggerated. If one gender is just 5% more likely to do something than the other gender, then that can becomes a stereotype of that gender. Then other people expect them to act that way, while the other gender is taught they should avoid acting that way. Overall I suspect you are more normal than you think you are.
I'm actually surprised at the poll results here. With so many people constantly posting similar opinions, I would have expected more people to say they can't relate.
I selected the "I can relate" option because I feel like the odd man out a majority of the time. For example, I'm either into much kinkier things than everyone else, or I'm attracted to women that most other guys seem to think is too overweight. I feel like the population here is pretty young, for the most part. I see a lot of teenagers or people in their early 20's. There's a lot of virgins and people who have just lost their virginity, and these people love to talk about sex and relationships (but mostly sex). I'm turning 25 next month and have had a fair amount of sexual experience since losing my virginity a little over two years ago, so maybe that has something to do with it. I feel like I've done more and perhaps matured in ways that others haven't yet. I have an open mind. I sometimes agree with the older folks, but there aren't many of them here.
Of course, every person is different. Even if their ideas are similar, they're not always exactly the same. Take pride in your uniqueness and individuality!
The choices for this poll are kind of confusing. Personally, I usually don't relate with people within my gender on gender questions, but I can't relate to your feeling that your opinion doesn't matter. As long as you actually have a response based on past experiences, then having a different response could be even more helpful, like MHO quality.
I don't know what you expect, tbh. If you're 'not like most men', then your perspective isn't going to be relevant for the majority of questions. There's really nothing you can do about it, since you're different from the men that women are basing their questions off of, so either suck it up and just add your 2 cents anyway or stop answering questions about male behaviour and answer questions about the 10000 other topics on this website.
Yes of course, generalizing an entire doesn't make much sense, does it. But in those cases I just state what I personally think, considering I cannot really think for anyone else, can I? I don't feel awkward when doing so.
Sometimes people look for a different kind of opinion, I normally just tell a person what they want to hear. But It all depends on the question that is being asked, I think it's good to be different so don't worry about it too much.
As an asexual male, my opinions are vastly different than that of my peers. It's just how things go, so for girls looking for some basic information about guys, I'm probably not the one to be asking personal opinions.
Just be yourself and don't bother with anyone else. You do what you think is right.
I disagree. I get MHO a lot and I often disagree with askers and the opinions of my peers. What I've learned that does the most to get your opinions acknowledged and thought about is that whenever you give opinions have a purpose. I greet each question with two desires help the question asker and give a clearer understanding of a subject to the best of my abilities. In addition to that certain things can help such as identifying with the asker, remaining compassionate, pointing out and avoiding honest truths, biases and pitfalls, and being authentic. For example we focus more often on our difference because they are different. Think of a book. Most of the space in a book is white but all books have white pages. We don't judge books on their white pages we judge them on the black squiggly lines scribbled through out. We focus on the difference. Think of a green field which are you more likely to notice the green grasshopper or the yellow butterfly? Our brain is built for spotting patterns and similarities and then focusing on when those patterns are interrupted. Even when referencing ourselves. We ignore the things that make us the same and focus on our differences. We do this because it's usually important. Not always but usually. Maybe your difference in opinion is something about you're thoughts that's not quite accurate or maybe you're life experience has led you to some form of insight your peers have never had the chance to make. Either way letting that opinion be known and expressing it the best way you can is extremely important for both advancing your own understanding as well as potentially helping someone else with theirs. Don't ever discount your opinions.