I've noticed whenever a girl on GAG tells her story and then asks whether she should break up with her boyfriend most people always say break up with him instead of telling her to try and resolve the issues they have.
I see this all the time too, and I think sometimes a break up is warranted, but I definitely try to encourage people with other options.
If the person is unhappy in the relationship, and they are being treated poorly, then really it's up to them whether they stay or not.
I'm a firm believer in trying to make things work and talking things out. It really depends on the other person and how much they want to be in the relationship.
If they don't really care, then talking and trying to work it out is meaningless. However, if they do want to be there, and they are willing to discuss and work on things, then it's worth it to try and work it out.
I'm one of those people who is incredibly understanding and tries to work out everything. I realize though that sometimes it's not worth it. But often times things can be fixed and behaviour can change if you are reasonable and approach your partner in a fair way.
For instance, I'm having a problem with my boyfriend not making a lot of time for me. People have told me to let him go because if he wanted to see me, he would make the effort. But I know that he's been busy and is working longer hours than before. So I am just going to talk to him first and see if we can work something out.
If we can't, then I will have to walk away. But I don't see harm in talking and possibly him making more time if he wants to.
For some people, finding someone new is easier than working on problems. So I can see why for some it's easy to walk away. For me though, I get attached to people and it's not so simple.
I have noticed that as well. I think its part of our natural bias towards women. There is something dubbed the "woman are swell" bias that showed women have a four times greater in group preference then men. For men its linked to neotanis traits that instill a protective instinct in them (women have more tear ducts and narrower channels allowing them to cry more then men physiologicly, thinner skin etc) due to there association with children (we all have some for socialization purposes but women have more). This essentially convinces people that the woman is the victim, and that by extention the man is the perpetrator when in fact she is just as likely to be responsible for her situation as he is. I also think apart of it is our view that relationships are easily acquired and by extention, easily replaced. That instills an idea that if it isn't working don't bother fixing it just get a new one. Which is why I tell her to resolve her issues by communicating, not breaking up.
Same with when she asks what to do when she likes a guy. Wait till he comes around. Advice to women is to just do nothing and or give up. Like the only people who have a right to feel like they are worth making an effort are men. For women if it's glaringly obvious he's crazy about her then she should just forget it be forbid she should actually be proactive and feel confident about her contribution.
Advice to women sucks ass. Co sequel toy questions from women tend to sound vi tiny and helpless. Not always some are very strong. But women get so used to being to, d they can't do anything that they talk as if things are just getting done to them.
Anyhow I agree. If someone asks about their situation there should never be a default answer the question should be respected enough to give a genuine thought our response. And it can't always be that the best course of action is no action. That'd just laziness and prejudice.
There are three instant deal breakers to me and if any person says they're experiencing them, the relationship has come to an end:
Abuse Cheating Lack of Respect
Most of the people who come on here have one of those three problems so I mostly tell them to break up. Plus, I feel like it's one of those situations where they already *know* what they need to do to resolve the situation. They just need encouragement and validation from others to get where they want to go.
Once a guy shows shitty behavior, it's clear he doesn't love or respect her. You can't make anyone love or respect you. They either do or they don't. For so long, society has impressed upon the woman to go above and beyond just to make him happy, to overcompensate for his emotional deficits. Most of us realize that no one can really change someone now, however. Would you want to waste time with someone who just brings you emotional pain like that?
Yep you should always try to talk it out.. Some people break up over nothing Depends on the situation though
If she is putting up with an abusive boyfriend's behavior -which is usually the case whenever a girl asks such a question-, then of course I am going to tell her to break up instead of discussing things with him. I try to put myself in her position and I recommend her what I'd do if I were in her position. I don't think people should settle with one-another when their relationship stops being healthy anymore. We have to admit that sometimes relationships cannot be saved.
Because most of the questions are about the guy cheating on her, or she is trying to resolve any issues but it still isn't working... if the girl can't trust him again after he has cheated or if he is not trying to make it work... what else can she do to be happy , apart from leave him
Honestly I have never thought about it but on reflection the majority of my answers have been advising to break up - I like to think I judge each case as I hear it so maybe I am very black and white in my views - I wouldn't tell anybody to do anything I wouldn't do myself.
Often the asker has boundary issues. She has accepted behavior that is simply unacceptable and unlikely to change. Sometime the boyfriend is abusively controlling and jealous, sometimes he shows no respect for her. Men who behave like that aren't going to change quickly and until they do those men aren't suitable for any woman.
Women tend to think another women deserves better even if that woman is being a bitch or isn't pulling her weight. Guys are less bias in this sense and dont claim a guy should leave immediately because something menial is going wrong