I've noticed whenever a girl on GAG tells her story and then asks whether she should break up with her boyfriend most people always say break up with him instead of telling her to try and resolve the issues they have.
Most Helpful Girl
I see this all the time too, and I think sometimes a break up is warranted, but I definitely try to encourage people with other options.
If the person is unhappy in the relationship, and they are being treated poorly, then really it's up to them whether they stay or not.
I'm a firm believer in trying to make things work and talking things out. It really depends on the other person and how much they want to be in the relationship.
If they don't really care, then talking and trying to work it out is meaningless. However, if they do want to be there, and they are willing to discuss and work on things, then it's worth it to try and work it out.
I'm one of those people who is incredibly understanding and tries to work out everything. I realize though that sometimes it's not worth it. But often times things can be fixed and behaviour can change if you are reasonable and approach your partner in a fair way.
For instance, I'm having a problem with my boyfriend not making a lot of time for me. People have told me to let him go because if he wanted to see me, he would make the effort. But I know that he's been busy and is working longer hours than before. So I am just going to talk to him first and see if we can work something out.
If we can't, then I will have to walk away. But I don't see harm in talking and possibly him making more time if he wants to.
For some people, finding someone new is easier than working on problems. So I can see why for some it's easy to walk away. For me though, I get attached to people and it's not so simple.0
Most Helpful Guy
I have noticed that as well. I think its part of our natural bias towards women. There is something dubbed the "woman are swell" bias that showed women have a four times greater in group preference then men. For men its linked to neotanis traits that instill a protective instinct in them (women have more tear ducts and narrower channels allowing them to cry more then men physiologicly, thinner skin etc) due to there association with children (we all have some for socialization purposes but women have more). This essentially convinces people that the woman is the victim, and that by extention the man is the perpetrator when in fact she is just as likely to be responsible for her situation as he is. I also think apart of it is our view that relationships are easily acquired and by extention, easily replaced. That instills an idea that if it isn't working don't bother fixing it just get a new one. Which is why I tell her to resolve her issues by communicating, not breaking up.5
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