A guy i was exchanging messages too, and it looks like he was a nice guy told me this. "the reality is your looks are not very appealing. Attraction is very important. Just as equally as you might expect a man to be taller. He will expect you to be better looking. Men typically tend to approach better looking women. Not necessarily the ones with plastic surgery but good looking in general. Since you lack some key facial features I suggest getting some form of plastic surgery. I am sure you have expectations of your man"
What a jerk guy!!
Men do you really back 100% what this guy said, that if a woman is lack soem key facial features for your attraction so then the women needs to get some type of plastic surgery in order for u to approach them?
That comment is so shallow!!!
Most Helpful Guy
I have no idea what you look like, and for the purposes of this question it doesn't matter. The bottom line is: that was only HIS opinion, and isn't necessarily what other men think.
But I also don't think he was TRYING to be a jerk (even if he kind of WAS being one) - I think he was trying to be brutally honest, which is something many women NEVER experience, especially from a man. Clearly you weren't looking for that, and while he wasn't being overly harsh, perhaps he should have just kept his mouth shut.
I know I'm not a great looking guy, and chances are I'm not going to attract a girl who is a "9" or better by most people's judgement, because such a girl can get herself a guy who, while he may not have quite my personality, may have much better looks or a lot more money or whatever. That's just how it is, and I don't fault her for choosing to maximize her own value.
The harsh truth is that women's looks make up a sizable portion of their value to men in relationships. That doesn't mean that every guy values looks the same, or that every guy wants the same thing, but it's part of the equation. You may not have the best facial features (again, I have no idea), but maybe you work out and have a fantastic body, and plenty of guys will prefer that over a girl with a great face and an out-of-shape body.
But, yes, relationships ARE a competition of sorts - everyone is trying to maximize their own value, which is one reason why when I work in wealthy areas, the women I see there are almost universally in shape and above average in looks, even into their 50's. Whether it was pure genetics or a hell of a lot of hard work in the gym, those women are attractive, and the wealthy, powerful men were able to attract them.
You are in competition with the women around you, just as every other single woman is. And in these days of Internet dating, you are potentially in competition with the whole world. So am I, and so is everyone else.
If you want to maximize your value, you have to make yourself the best you can be. That doesn't necessarily mean surgery - maybe it means having a great personality, or being very smart, or funny, or supportive, but maximizing your appearance won't hurt either, even if that just means make up, hair-do, and clothes.2
Most Helpful Girl
OMG right? The worst too is all the guys who will randomly message me sex questions and I KNOW I avoid those questions, and they'll like try hitting on me and shit...
Like c'mon I have a friggen comic book character as my profile picture, and she's TOTES disinterested LOOK AT HER. but that doesn't stop them... Like not to sound vain, but I can't imagine how many pervs would be harassing me if I put my real pic up...
Like I keep thinking I'm having a good conversation then I randomly get the "I'm horny" message and I just close my laptop...1