Do you think many of the guys on here are whiny, or do they have a point?

In my experience on this site, guys seem to post the overwhelming majority of gender-issues related posts. And I know it bugs the crap out of half the people on this site.

What is your opinion on some of it? (Poll Below)

Personally, I get sick of hearing posts about "nice guys finish last". Or worse, the use of "alpha male".

But others may bring up good points, but it seems like guys can't really discuss it, because it is labeled as whining pretty quickly. These are things like "Why don't girls have to ask guys out?" "Why don't girls have to pay?" In most of these cases, a girl transcending her gender role is 'stepping up to the plate' and is admired because she is doing more than expected. But a guy trying to bring up his grievances about these roles is, 'lazy', 'cheap', 'not a true gentleman', 'not a real man', etc. So it makes it hard to bring this stuff up without it quickly being reduced to whining.

  • Mostly good points
    7% (1)32% (7)22% (8)Vote
  • About even mix of the two
    43% (6)45% (10)44% (16)Vote
  • Mostly whining
    36% (5)18% (4)25% (9)Vote
  • All whining.
    14% (2)5% (1)9% (3)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel you.

    It's like minorities throwing the race card around, now if we want to have a legitimate discussion about it, white people (mostly) just throw their hands up in the air and roll their eyes. "Ugh, not everything is racism".
    I know it's not, but not everything is happiness and rainbows and equality.

    I think there are definitely legitimate concerns, as with any movement, but now it's being drowned out by incessant whining.

    I literally got called shallow because I said that I wouldn't date an obese stalker. Guys jumped on my case saying that my standards are "too high". Like really? Do you think the majority or average man is some crazy stalker who's obese?
    Those are not high standards, they're just standards! Like seriously men, stop lowering yours!

    The only thing we agree on is that more women should ask men out and that we should split the bill.

    I don't think women have high standards, they're just standards. Men need to raise theirs.

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    • "I said that I wouldn't date an obese stalker."

      Good example. I wasn't there, but I feel like most of the guys getting excited about it not so much because that is actually some outlandish standard, but because they know they would be called shallow, sexists pigs if they said THEY would refuse to date obese women.

      I actually did talk about a clingy, stalkerish girl on here once. Girls told me "Oh, she's just lonely. Stop being such a judgmental jerk." The fact that a girl was acting super clingy wasn't what bothered me. I was actually rather flattered. What bothered me was that if she was a guy, she very well could have gotten arrested or suspended for her behavior.

      So that COULD be their motivation. Or they could just be obese stalker guys jumping to their own defense. lol.

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    • Sorry. Posted that before you finished. I'll read it real quick.

    • Damn. Yeah, that is well beyond my threshold for creeps.

      When I heard girls use "creep" in college, it was often about a guy who said "I think you are pretty, and would wonder if you would like to go out sometime". "You're pretty" isn't the best way to make a girl feel special, but it isn't "rapey" as these girls would describe. But he was socially-awkward, and THAT was the "rapey" part.

      Meanwhile, a guy would walk in and be like "yo dawg, so I was just f**ing this ho the other night and she was all like 'sorry, I don't do anal', and I was all ready to slap a bitch. Respect your man!"

      And then those same girls would be like "Teeheehee, Kyle is so funny!"

      So that was my experience of "creep". It's what they call the awkward guys, while they the real asshole all the breathing room in the world.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I miss all this drama because I stay away from the sex/dating/relationship/flirting side of the site - I honestly didn't know that happened.
    The only place I see gender clashes tends to be in the Society & Culture between the MRAs/MGTOW and the feminists.
    It sounds like there could be a bit of fault on both sides - Too much unnecessary whining can be offputting but to shoot down everything including valid concerns seems a bit harsh.
    Maybe if there was a less hostile environment positions would become less entrenched as I often say there is a big area of middle ground being allowed to go to waste.

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    • Exactly. These are my favorite discussions here. But they are too often filled with such hostility and ear-plugging, I can only take on much at a time.

What Girls Said 7

  • The problem is that in many of those types of questions the guy says condescending things towards women making it appear as though we are all the same. If guys don't like getting grouped together with all other males then they shouldn't do the same to women. It's one thing to ask something in a genuine non insulting way but in many it appears like the guy already made his mind up about women and think we are bad people.

    Besides how many times do these guys need to be told that they are generalizing. Just cause girls don't ask YOU out or offer to pay when YOU go out on dates doesn't mean the rest of us don't. It's that kind of superior "If it happens to me then it must be the truth with no exceptions so poor me" attitude that ends up pissing many of us off.

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  • You can have a legitimate point.. and still come across as whining.

    and sometimes, the question is fine.. it's in the comments it all goes sideways.

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  • Do you think many of the guys on here are whiny, or do they have a point?
    D. All whining

    I have yet to read a guy posting here that lists his grievances without any misogyny, sexism, bitterness against gals, or resentment towards gals. For some reason it seems guys either blame feminism or gals for their gender role issues despite how these gender roles stemmed before feminism.

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    • If you want an idea of where a lot of that comes from, a lot of guys feel not so much that feminism created these issues, but that they reinforce them.

      That usually seems to be the most common criticism of the movement, that it tries to liberate women from their stereotypes and gender roles, but does so in a way that REINFORCES the old stereotypes and gender roles about men.

      IE: Women were usually considered innocent and passive. Men were considered active influencers, and ultimately the prime source of evil. Most feminist writers continuously assert that women are innocent, passive victims of sexism while men are the active creators and are responsible for most or all of women's grievances.

      Ergo, it encourages women to break free of their gender roles, but does so by only reinforcing the idea that men are violent, created most of the world's evils, and that women had nothing to do with these evils or issues, but are merely passive victims of them.

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    • And with your latest response I think this discussion is over. I can guess your likely MRA/anti-feminist mindset particularly with that seemingly skewed comment about Erin Pezzey and that ludicrous 50-50 domestic violence claim.

      I won't be responding. You can continue posting likely with the typical MRA/anti-feminist domestic violence studies that have already been repeatedly pointed out as flawed such as Harvard's 2007 or that almost meme like list consisting of mostly repeats and debunked studies.

    • Yeah, I was aware of the direction this was going, too. And I was hoping it wouldn't go that direction.

      By the way, I cam up with the near 50/50 statistics and heard about Erin Pizzey from my professor in sociology. She was actually one of the stronger feminist voices on campus.

      And similarly, I do not consider myself "anti-feminist", nor an MRA. I am mostly pro-feminist, and my first responses were based around giving you an idea of why guys would point their fingers at the movement. Because there ARE legitimate criticisms. The movement is hardly perfect. Just ask Valerie Solanas. This is why I often describe myself as a "critical feminist", because I want to see feminism accept its weaknesses and improve itself.

      But if you are going to stop responding and/or block me, that's somewhat an example of what I am talking about. Criticizing feminism is not anti-feminist. Wanting to inform you of why guys would think ill of the word "feminism" is not anti-feminist.

  • No I don't support whimpy guys or girls like me! haha

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  • I'm not of fan of anyone whiny, male or female.

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  • Most are whiny little bitches

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  • About even mix of the two.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think its an even mix

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