Why so quick to judge or label other G@G users after reading one post? And Do you ASSume that another user's ASSessment of someone is correct?

It doesn't matter all that much, but I'm just wondering about it. Do you jump to conclusions about another G@G user after having read only one post? Do you read someone else's ASSumption of another user and and ASSume it to be accurate?

Several exchanges on this recent take made me start thinking about it.

http://www.girlsaskguys.com/sexual-behavior/a32013-what-a-slut-really-is-the-importance-of-self-worth

It's nothing new. But the recent comments made me think back... have I done this myself?

Do you ASSume that someone is a "feminist" or "misogynist" based on one or two posts? I mean maybe they are... but can you KNOW that right off the bat very often?Why so quick to judge or label other G@G users after reading one post? And Do you ASSume that another user's ASSessment of someone is correct?Just because I might not disagree with EVERY single thing about feminism, doesn't make be a "feminist". And just because a guy makes an angry post about some cheating ex-wife, doesn't make him a "misogynist". Have you made those errors in judgement? I may have, especially in my early G@G life.

How about "liberal" and "conservative"? Are you guilty of that one? If they take a political position on something that you oppose?
Most people that know me here know that I loathe the word "slut". I believe it's a slur that is almost as bad as the "N" word, and we should simply CHOOSE not to use it. You may not agree. OK, fine.

That doesn't make me against your "Right to Free Speech".

Maybe it's the election. I dunno. But lately, I've seen a rash of people being quick to judge and label, and doing so incorrectly. "She's a feminazi dude, don't listen to her" - "yeah you're right, she blocked me for no reason, typical feminist".

WTF? When did we stop thinking for ourselves and basing our own views on what we observe?


I don't disagree with EVERY thing feminists or liberals say. That doesn't make ME one of them. No one is ever wrong or right 100% of the time. Period.

I know. tl;dr.

SO, can you honestly say that you haven't done this? And if not, can you change?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • no i dont do that, im an absolute stalker in this. i look at the feed and i will look at the opinions of interesting strongly opinionated people and think about what they said before forming a conclusion about them.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I base my opinions if people off of my interactions with them and how they interact with others. Combination thing. There have been quite a few people that I thought were one way based off of how we interacted, but after reading their opinions on ordering and seeing them interact with others, it changed my view of them. But at the end of the day, this is the Internet so it could all just be one big act.

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What Guys Said 17

  • This post refreshes my recollection of how I met CheerGirl38139. I believe that we had a heated disagreement about the word "slut" but we both kept the discussion respectful. I don't believe that we came to any agreement on that issue but I did learn to respect your opinions. And I later came to realize that we agree on most issues and our disagreements are uncommon.

    I had a similar experience with @Waffles731. We had an initial disagreement on a political issue but I respect the way in which he expressed himself and we didn't devolve into name calling and "screaming" at each other. I also respect him and have developed an online friendship with him.

    When you are young, your ability to understand the world and analyze things around you expands so rapidly that it is easy to be impressed with your knowledge and to be convinced that you know more than everyone else. I was guilty of that when I was a young man.

    As you get older, you understand the folly in that belief and most people become more reasonable with time. Then, as you get to be around 60 years old, it is easy to believe that you have had so much experience that certainly now you must know more than everyone else. So far, I have tried to resist that trend. (My user name means that I am older and wiser than I was many years ago, not that I am wiser than anyone else on this site.)

    I have blocked a few users (including a few older European socialists) who have such rigid thinking that every disagreement disintegrates into name calling or they refuse to respond rationally to any point that I make. In that sense, I have made some judgments about them, but they were not instant, spur-of-the-moment judgments.

    By not being too quick with the "block-that-jerk" reflex, I have maintained some helpful relationships, and I appreciate your ability to have that perspective at your age, YoungerAndWiser! :)

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  • I do make assumptions based on what people post but not on other people's assumptions of them. People try to write eachother off based on stupid assumptions all the time so you can't really take them seriously. Whenever someone is saying something they disagree with or find offensive, they try to write the other person off as being a misogynist, feminazi, slut, virgin basement dweller, racist, homophobe, etc..

    Its just a way to insult the other person and put them beneath you while acting like you won and that they aren't even worth arguing with.

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  • Usually, I'm just messing around and troll random users, especially if I'm bored. But I'll give someone a fair shake unless they're blatantly trolling. But assuming the subject is something I'm taking seriously, I'll judge the person solely on that subject and what they write, especially on subjects that are readily available on the internet and/or has been discussed ad nauseam... like how this site continues to have stupid and wrong opinions on virtually everything or like people arguing that the sky is red 😑... These people had all the chance in the world to not sound stupid and, yet, people on here continiously choose to and then get mad at me for calling them out

    This post would sound a lot more clear if I gave examples, but I don't feel like engaging in social or political issues, especially since I'm really tempted to call out some people on here

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  • For me my impression of a Gagger is an organic experience - Maybe after 2/3 times you remember the name - By 7/8 you feel you kinda know that person, if negative you put in ignore column - If they interest you, you keep an eye out for them and who knows possibly get to know them.

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  • I am partially guilty of this although for the most part I think that I am not. I try to remember that the truth is the truth regardless of who speaks it. Therefore if an otherwise stupid and/or bigoted person speaks it, we have to give them their due and address the position by the logic alone. The people whom I do not afford any credence to whatsoever are abortionists, those who call themselves "Pro-Choice." I cannot in good faith accept a lecture -- especially about firearms and death -- from someone who believes that the systematic slaughter of the unborn is acceptable. Otherwise I am pretty much open to everyone no matter how much I disagree with them and even detest their worldview. Living in the Bay Area my entire life has forced that upon me.

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  • Everyone judges. Those who say they don't are lying.
    It's human nature to judge, so it's not bad that we do it, the problem is when we don't dig deeper and we don't want to learn more about someone so we think they're one way only based on one sentence they say.

    When you see someone on the streets dressed with ripped clothes, your first thought is that he's homeless. You're most likely not gonna talk to him, so in your mind you'd be like "I just passed by a homeless man". If you stopped and talked to them, you may have learned that he wasn't homeless, but was wearing ripped clothes for a completely different reason.

    Same thing applies to GAG. You read someone's opinion and you ASSume something about them. Then it's up to you if you want to change your opinion of them after reading more of their opinions, or stick to the first one you had.

    I've misjudged people on here many times. I've thought they were one way, but they were another. I don't feel bad about it cause it's difficult to know how someone is just from one opinion on the Internet. When I learn more about them, then I start forming a more accurate opinion about them.

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    • 1mo

      food for thought and thanks for the opinion.

      I just really mean more of that knee-jerk "she must be a liberal" or "he must be a racist" after one post... or even worse... taking someone else's word for it.

    • 1mo

      That's an escape. It's like when people throw the race or the sexist card. They have no argument so they need to find a way to silence you and think they've "won".

    • 1mo

      ding ding!

  • Most often I don't remember or take note of the author of a single post. They have to particularly impress me somehow to get me interested enough to form an opinion.

    I don't think the behavior you describe is unique to GAG or new to the internet either. Most of them aren't even worth a look, which speaks well of the GAG community. You have to sift through a lot of garbage to find the good stuff.

    Scrolling through comments means dealing with a certain amount of white noise, like a little kid with a bucket and a stick, playing games to get attention. You block it out and keep on scrolling after a while.

    I am also training myself to avoid political posts and comments on GAG. There are better forums for that out there.

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  • Yeah kinda, you only get one first impression right?

    The first post sets the tone and if it's an extreme left field idea, I'm thinking "oookay then". Some of the shit i hear on here is so far wide of real life... However what i think of someone doesn't stop me agreeing with them if i agree.

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  • You asked me to opine here so here I am.

    I read a bit of the slut Take. I was incredibly put off by the whole thing. A slut to me is how a woman acts toward men. I strongly subscribe to the axiom that there's a slut in every girl and it's her guy's job to bring her out to play. A slut is a free wheeling, try anything once within a broad range kind of girl. In my experience, the sluttier she gets, the more fun we both have and that's one of the critical keys to great sex for me.

    I'm not big on labeling people a slut. Now I may discover that she's submissive and I might call her a subbie and/or that she has a major masochistic streak (a wonderful trait since I'm a sadist) and I might call her my pain slut but it's just she and I that I'm talking about.

    There's a slut in every girl. Some are easier to get out to play than others.

    Does that help?

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    • 1mo

      Not really. The question is about labeling people feminists other misogynists... or ASSUMING that there uninformed about government etc, just based on one or two posts.

      Not at all about their opinion of a particular word.

      Thanks abyway ✌

  • I don't judge or label people even if they take unpalatable or extreme views on any matter just because , they have a right to say as they please and also because I am not standing in their shoes. Sometimes my out of box thinking attracts a lot of unpleasant hate messages. But at the same time , some of my other messages are being selected as the most helpful. So I have learned to accept the good with the bad. Sometimes , it so happens that the asker hates my messages , initially with heavy criticism , and then they turn around and select my message as the Most Helpful option---This happened to me on the question on cheers leaders style of dressing in some school. So I never assume my reply to be good or bad on what someone says nor do I judge people wrongly because of their messages.

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  • I think that it is inherent within humans to assume other's intentions as a defense mechanism. People tend to hang around with those of the same race, gender, religion, culture, etc. because they feel comfortable expressing their true views around people who hold similar views.

    When someone expresses a view that happens to be held by a group of people who hold a lot of other despicable views than it is easy to react by assuming they agree with those group of people's other views. It is not rational to react that way but because the individual feels so strongly about that group of people when he/she hears similar point of views it is easy to judge them based off pure emotions.

    Back to my original point though. Consider a scenario where you are walking down a sidewalk by yourself at night and you see a big guy walking your way that has tattoos all over his neck and his pants riding down at his knees. I'm going to assume every time that that guy probably will try and rob me if he feels he can get away with it. So as a guy I will walk past him but be ready to react if he attacks and if I was a girl I'd walk across the street and avoid passing him entirely. Now, 8/10 he probably won't try and rob you. But is it worth the 2/10 times he does? Thats obviously a situation with more serious consequences if the person stereotyping is wrong than the situation you described above but my point is that I believe everyone stereotypes whether they admit it or not. It is a self-defense mechanism and in some cases can save your life. Again, the situation is not the same as what you described but it is the same mentality.

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    • 1mo

      Yeah I get that the mentality is the same, but we are talking about Internet posts, and using our own skills and senses to determine how we view someone else based solely on words that they type.

      I think you've already seen now that you were wrong about me TWICE, and one of those times was based on the word of someone else that you don't even know. :)

      Anyway, thanks for the answer. I do understand your thought process.

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    • 1mo

      Ugh. How foul.

      No wonder so many people our age are fucked in the head.

    • 1mo

      Thats why I hate taking humanities and social sciences at my university because it is so full of BS like that. Honestly, if that teacher had said that in my class I don't think I could've contained myself from yelling at him. Thats why I'm glad I'm majoring in a STEM degree because these other degrees literally are full of relative subjects where the professor can insert his/her stupid opinion the whole time rather than just teaching factual principles.

      I'm going to have to send my kid to a private school or something because they cannot be brought up with that stupid BS. Kids are so impressionable and when they hear that they may start to internalize it and believe that nonsense. It makes me so angry and almost always white people saying it! Ugh.

  • I've been here for more than a month now and so far I have not committed any of the above mentioned act. And I hope I can keep it that way as long as I'm here. ^^ :)

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  • How do you know someone is a feminist or vegan? They told you.

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  • I like ass though ;)

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  • Why are you capitalising "ASS".

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  • I know, people are so quick to call me ugly when I tell the truth.

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What Girls Said 15

  • People on here loooove to be like "you're wrong because you're a feminazi". Not because they actually know what a "feminazi" is but because they know it's been a way for them to redirect, change, or silence the conversation. I've heard it so many times that it simply has no meaning to me at this point. Boys use it just like they use slut. Meaningless.

    As far as my own decisions about people I am way more likely to find out someone I thought was nice is actually an asshole. Not the other way around. Sometimes there might be a peek of a fun person but then they go back to being a misogynist/racist/pervert/whatever else and it's a bummer.

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    • 1mo

      5'5"
      Dark brunette
      Dark brown eyes
      Mid length hair
      Slightly chubby but curvy
      Talks a lot
      Has a beta male boyfriend
      Likes to wear jeans
      You like to paint your nails blue or light colors.

      Am I correct?

  • Yea, I think people fill in the lines too much. You make broad statements here and now someone thinks they know details of your conception, childhood, your favorite ice cream flavor, your favorite color... Now, ok, I get it, if someone goes on a racist tirade, yea, they're probably racist. But if someone's just like "I'm pro choice" Now they're a feminist a "liberal" which ugh, I hate that word because the way people use it, it's all for shock. Anyways, I agree. But then I see that if someone labels me "feminist" that quickly, they probably are doing so out of a nasty place and hate all feminists like Susan B Anthony spit in their face... disregarding the good things feminists have done and continue to do in this imperfectworld. XD And the people who say "Evil liberal democrat blah blah" lol, ok, def not registered as a democrat or identify as a liberal BUT I totally see good things about supporting certain "liberal policies"
    More than anything, I try to see the good in the "negative" people are calling me. And try to understand that true hate, will get people absolutely nowhere.

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  • Haven't we all done that at least once in our lives? Incorrectly assumed or judged someone?

    I have despite my best efforts trying not to. It's just a snap judgment.

    - However, regarding the issues you've brought up, I don't judge. Politics, this year, I'm out of. Can't choose either... so... ehh.

    Feminism and other things, ugg, there are people out there giving them a bad name. I KNOW they're not all like that. So, no, when someone tells me they're a feminist (or whatever) I don't judge UNLESS they're a Nazi-fem.

    * Then, I judge hardcore. Yet, part of me still wants to know WHY and try to understand. lol, so I still ask despite already having judged.

    They might sway my opinion/judgment. Or... they might not.

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  • I used to really like you but then I heard from somewhere you were a feminazi so I just can't associate any more. I thought blocking you would remove you from my live feed. Guess not, Oh well. I'm just glad that other poster let me know you were a feminaziist liberal college dropout Hillary fan, now I dont need to read anything you say

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  • I believe in free speech. I believe everyone is entitled to an opinion even when it is NOT the same as mine. I love to debate... I stay away from Politics and Religion for the simple fact, I am old enough, I have watched disagreements over those topics destroy family relationships, business relationships and friendships. Just because someone else walks in different shoes, I always try them on... and go from there...

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  • Good take. Actually I prefer not to assume anything. For example, there was a guy on here who wanted people to guess his heritage and personality. I said he looked Muslim. But he turned out to be catholic. That is why I don't make assumptions. Because, quite often, you make an @ss out of u and umption.

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  • Some people can be unprofessional when it comes to judging others. Just because the person has said something about certain issues you are uncomfortable with, that doesn't mean they are bad. What if they have other point of views that are helpful? Are we going to ignore it or straight away disagree with them for what they had said previously?

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  • Agreed - its' best to research their past Q&As/comments before making a block

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  • I leave my opinion of them flexible, I'm chill with lots of gaggers I disagree with.

    With the ones that have a reputation of being "wtf", I become disinterested in what they have to say as anything other than a joke. Most gaggers that I recognize either have a positive or negative feeling.

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  • Eh sometimes I get bad vibes from people.
    But like 4/5 times, I'm proven wrong and learn they're actually cool and not an asshole lol.

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  • it takes several posts of someone for me to form an idea
    but anw I don t give much thought to it here on gag

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  • The problem is worse than you think. I actually wrote a take about Breast Cancer and someone came on and said "how are you not aware that men get this"

    Even though twice in the take I said that men can get it too LOL >:(

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    • 1mo

      I remember that.

      In fact, That's one reason I rarely write takes, nor do I wanted to be an editor, because most people are too lazy to read them, and make a comment based on the title alone.

    • 1mo

      Yeah, but the title said "Breast Cancer: What every Woman (And Man) Should Know"
      LMAO

  • Dude it's gag. Plsssssss

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  • Just ass people do that

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  • We don't really know each other, I would rather show love than hate and judge

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