Is GirlsAskGuys a phase or a longstanding pursuit?

Will I always be on GAG? Probably! But the extent and my role on here will change. I was on here every day and I've asked hundreds of questions. I've answered over 1000 questions. Now, I may just go on here on occasion.

When I came on here last summer. I was a guy with no confidence and no understanding of women and relationships. So I asked a lot of questions, posted on forums, read some books, all about relationships and dating. At this point, I feel like the over exposure of all that information has made me too prepared.

But there needs to be a balance, as either extreme is bad. I think GAG was good for me to catch up to speed on what I missed my whole life (most of which was less social), but now I see myself going too fast in the direction of seeking knowledge that I've already learned and basically trying to engineer myself to be the perfect man for a woman. And that just has to happen naturally.

For example, I have a friend who is a buddhist. At first, he trapped himself in his room for a month, after being an atheist his whole life and did nothing all day but read dozens of buddhist books and he'd go to temples. He admit he took it too far and wanted to settle down, but he is still a buddhist now. He's just doing it at a natural pace.

Same with me and GAG.

I went on GAG with the goal of me building myself into the perfect machine-person who can be attractive to any and all women. Now I know that I just gotta be who I want to be, try to be a good person, but not perfect. Be who I can, and let some women accept and some reject me, but seek only my own approval.

Anyone else know what I mean?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This site is good to get the opposite gender's perspective on things, as well as learning from the experiences of people from the same gender.

    I do understand the "information overload" that one can get being on this site, though.

    Just make sure that you actually DO, instead of STUDY. Don't get caught up in being perfect (this is coming from a perfectionist by the way lol).

    The #1 key is to be a slightly tweaked version of YOURSELF, and not being afraid to make mistakes.

    ----

    To use an American Football reference, if you're afraid of throwing an interception, then you might not as well drop back to pass in the first place. :-P

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What Girls Said 3

  • Definitely not a phase, I just passed my 4 year mark here a couple weeks ago, lol. But I wouldn't say it's a quest for knowledge and understanding so much, it started as and still is just a major way to pass the time and cure boredom. But I'm also here because I enjoy helping people out when I can, being useful, speaking my mind, and I have made several genuinely good friends here and had a lot of laughs over the years. I also only ever answer questions, I've never asked one, and I've never gone anon on anything, ever.

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  • I know what you mean. Good for you on taking such a route to self-discovery. I know I go on GAG too much myself; I think I will relax a bit eventually, though, and maybe ask people just to inbox me if they want to ask me something.

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  • Yeah I'm the same way. Gag has helped me a lot. It helped me overcome my fear of talking to guys so I feel a bit more confident when I talk to the guys at school. I have thought about leaving but I'm so used to signing on everyday. Even if I don't ask or answer any questions, I come on here to read.

    The problem now is that I think I know too much that it seems like I can't go with the flow. I have to analyze or even plan what I do next. I don't know if its good or bad though. But idk. Maybe its all part of growing as a person? Idk.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Gag isn't the place to learn how to be a perfect man.There's much better places online for that.

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  • Yeah, I come here when I have a problem. So it's kind of a recurring phase.

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  • No time to read the whole question. I think it will stand look at yahoo answers been around a fairly long time if girs ask guys doesn't get rid of these advertisements especially the ones near the bottom of my sscreen when using my cell phone, and the ones about Asian ladies and dating I think I might leave. At least put some good looking girls in the ads.

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  • I understand completely. And you're perfectly right. There comes a point where you have to do, and stop preparing to do. Find your voice and talk, and not just keep redrafting your ideal speech.

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    • Precisely...it's similar to "data overload" for an examination. To a certain point more "studying" isn't going to help your performance.

  • I understand what you're trying to say. It seems that ever since joining GAG, it changed you a lot as a person, you gained confidence with women, and you've actually grow as a person.

    It's really heartwarming to see someone like you who benefited through this site.

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    • yeah. thanks. it has changed me as a person but too much of anything is bad. so my intense usage of the site was a phase, but this site in general will probably be long with me.

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