High school gag users! Tell me when you started experimenting with alcohol and weed?

My 14 year old daughter told me last night that she has tried Vodka and weed.

She also told me that almost everyone in her age does.

Last weekend a sophomore got alcohol poisoning. His stomach was pumped.

Now my daughter is a gifted student and is in advanced classes. She also told me she is not sexually active. I was listening and clinching my teeth the whole time. Yikes

Share with me your thoughts please

Updates:
Why is this in sexuality!?!?!?
Just for clarity sake I'm older than 25-29 age bracket. :)
Thank you all. This is Gag at its finest! It's the only medium for me to be able to carry on a convo. with people so much younger than me and actually learn something.

I will zip my mouth, watch her and monitor her grades.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Kids do experiment around this age, but this is only down to the type of friends thaey keep, so be strict and let her know that its not acceptible behavior , and give her the run down as you would, but don't accept that this is normal teenager stuff, because this is really down to influence,x

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    • I am. I am doing it methodically so I don't turn her off.

      She assured me she only did once and it not the norm. In her circle. I'm watching her and her grades

    • Then I think your doing all you can right,x

What Guys Said 12

  • your 25-29 and have a 14 year-old? yowza

    I'm 31. So I graduated high school in 2001. I smoked my first joint at 16 (then didn't try it again for two years) and started drinking at 17... I, like your daughter, took all AP courses.

    It seems like the ages for experimentation get younger and younger but that is to be expected right? Kids hit puberty at an earlier age (various theories on this), they are also experiencing adult situations at a much earlier age thanks to the various media they are exposed to.

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    • I'm older lol

    • I remember when I was a camp counselor in college and on a bus ride home I did the normal walk back (mostly to make sure we had all the kids). I get to the back and a 12year-old gir was giving a 14year-old a bj.

      When I talked to her later about it she was like, "what's the big deal, it's not like he's nto the first ding-a-ling I've sucked". I was shocked and realized it was a different world for kids. That was about 6-7 years ago

  • I first drank in 7th grade and smoked weed in 8th or 9th. don't try to stop it unless it gets out of control. There isn't much you can do anyway besides take her away from her friends. as long as her grades don't drop and everything in ther life is going good then I wouldn't worry about it as long as she is honest with you, doesn't drive etc.

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  • I started drinking freshman year, started smoking in 7th grade, first tried weed during the summer in between freshman and sophomore year.

    At least she's being honest and open with you. Be happy about that. Experimentation is part of growing up, especially in high school. Thank you for listening to her.

    At my school, the kids in advanced classes were often the ones partying the hardest and doing the most drugs.

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    • Thank you. I didn't scold her. I listened and thanked her being honest. You are right. not much I can do . Just pray that my parenting and teaching will guide her through this experimention phase

    • I should probably mention this. I no longer smoke, I don't do drugs anymore, I rarely drink now and when I do I don't drink to get drunk. I stopped most of those behaviors close to the end of high school.

  • Its in sexuality because you put she is not sexually active, at least as far as you know. I have nieces and nephews this age, and it starts at 14 or 15, just like when we were kids. It is part of growing up. Be as open as you can with her about it so she hopefully returns the favor. You won't be able to stop it, so hope to keep it safe...

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    • thank you I am. It is so hard to raise kids OMG! I never guessed beforehand

  • Honestly, I was an innocent kid. Never did that.

    Kids these days at age 14 are doing everything that 18 year olds used to do 10 years ago.

    When I was 14, I was playing baseball and watching cartoons. I wasn't partying, having sex, smoking weed, drinking and texting all day. Damn.

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    • Not true. Statistically this generation is better than all the previous ones as far as pregnancy, alcohol, and drugs. Or so I've been told by several people, including teachers when I was in high school.

    • Really? That's good to hear. I guess it depends on upbringing. I mean, in the suburbs, it's getting a bit less sterile.

  • It was the same when I was in high school, all you can hope for is that she stays being as honest and open as she was with you last night

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    • So I just listen and I am not sure how or if I should respond in any way? I will step in if goes too far. But meanwhile I am not sure how to respond

    • Dont do anything unless it goes too far

  • I've never done any of that stuff

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  • I didn't really, but my girlfriend admits to smoking weed, dropping acid, drinking, and having limited sexual experiences when she was 13.

    Your daughter may not be sexually active, but chances are she's at least tried some sexual things and decided it wasn't yet for her, or she will be trying them soon. When I was in school, every girl I knew who was willing to experiment with drugs/alcohol was willing to experiment with sex.

    My girlfriend turned out to be a pretty awesome person, but she's the exception. Most girls I knew growing up who were into that sort of stuff that young either turned into junkies or teenage mothers. I'd advise you to keep a close eye on her, and tell her to come to you if she has any questions or problems, but don't freak out on her, it'll push her away.

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  • Watch her carfuly, but don't freak out and do something crazy. When my parents found out I was smoking weed and drinking (I was also 14) they kicked me out of the house in my underwear in the middle of winter (was -40c outside) I almost froze to death. That incadent only made things worse because I lost all respect for my parents, and didn't care what they had to say or think about my habits. I lost control, but thankfuly I got control of my life. I'm 20 now and making $25/hour as a welder :) but unfortunitly because my parents felt they messed up when dealing with me they decided to let my older brother do whatever he wanted growing up, he's a raging alcholic now.. Verry sad to see him like this because my parents never steped in. If it gets out of control don't ever hesitate to step in. Alchol and weed are a good time, but they can be dangerous.

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    • I am glad your pulled yourself together. Thanks for sharing :)

  • I've never done those stuffs.

    I don't drink and smoke weeds.

    It must be something about my parental guidance. It helped me a lot.

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  • Sexuality category is the garbage bin of this forum. Everything that they don't want anywhere else ends up here (or so it appears).

    Now its true that allot of young kids at least tries alcohol and weed. You know why? Because they are at the age where they want to explore and be rebellious and the dealers knows this and exploit it. Its quite sad to see and hear friends talk about how they got tipped of where drug dealers are and who is selling alcohol to minors.

    It has become a part of the young culture so to speak.

    While I personally don't care what they drink, smoke or consume the way dealers go after them makes me disgusted and every time someone gets alcohol poisoning or dies in a car crash under the influence its just painfully obvious how naive and young they are. Instead of trying to demonize it which will only serve to fuel the growth parents and adults need to educate them so they don't go too far.

    Better to drink or smoke for a few years then be dead in a ditch because you did not know when to stop.

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  • 14 is an early age. I first drank at 16 and smoked weed right before my 17th birthday in high school a lot of high schoolers do it but I'd say most around age of 16.

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What Girls Said 12

  • I first started drinking when I was 18, after high school... I don't drink very much / often, but yeah.

    When I was 14 none of this stuff was even crossing my mind. I was obsessed with playing softball and video games and couldn't care less about parties and stuff.

    Unfortunately kids are inevitably going to try this stuff... I feel like rather than trying to control them, making them aware of the consequences and such is more important, hopefully if they know the risks involved with what they do, they'll be responsible about it...

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    • That is what said to her. I reminded her that they are for 21 and over. ( weed is somewhat legal here)

      And that she is playing with fire but did not punish her

  • Not in HS anymore... but I never smoked, weed or otherwise. Most people that I know started in 9 or 10 grade. And if not then, definitely in college.

    Drinking... I was 18 the first time I tried it. Didn't repeat again until I was legal at 19. Still don't drink that much. Most of my friends were drinking by 16.

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  • I'm not in high school anymore but...

    Right away in grade 9, alcohol and sex and drugs started being talked about..

    Showing up at parties...

    I lost my virginity in grade 9.. Everyone had had alcohol by Thanksgiving... and a great many, had tried weed and shrooms...

    As for why it's in "sexuality"

    "She also told me she is not sexually active."

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    • And how has that effected your present life? Do you regret starting young? Thanks

    • Show All
    • I see. I fairly certain she is not sexually active at this point and she has told me so. What about drug and weed experimentation. Did it at any point get out of control?

    • for some.. but honestly, mainly guys.. and really, we were more about alcohol and sex then drugs overall

  • i'm 17

    i was 15 when I started drinking

    i honestly don't drink much at all

    i started smoking weed last year and I love it, except I started when I was in school and during lunch I'd go and get high. I failed drama and art cause of it cause I was new to it and didn't know how to control it

    but this year I passed history with a 90 and I was high in most of the classes, and ate during all of them xD (he let us eat in class, so I always ate mii lunch)

    but once you get used to the high, you learn to control yourself and focus

    i have a very low tolorance to alcohol

    and a high tolorance to weed

    i wish I was vice versa

    tbh I don't really like drinking unless I'm high

    BUT DONT DRINK THEN SMOKE OR YOU WILL MAG

    smoke before you drink

    and beer before liquor, never been sicker

    liquor before beer, you're in the clear

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  • I started drinking and smoking weed when I was 15 but I never did it too often. I think it's a good thing that she's able to talk about it with you. Continue being there for her, educate her about the matter if you want or creep her out talking about Korsakoff's syndrome or showing her through a blue lens :P

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  • 14 is the norm.

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    • Was when I was in high school and now my sister is 16, and it was 14 for her age group too. So don't down vote me!

    • I won't and didn't. I appreciate your input. I am not rendering judgements here. I want to understand the youth's mindset. Here is and up vote for you :)

  • If it were my kid I would ground her and ask that she has eyes on her at all times to make sure she doesn't do it, If she gets drunk enough I bet she'll try "doing it" you should take her to the Dr. to make sure she's still healthy, see if they can do a drug test on her, if she refuses, then she's hiding something.

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  • tried weed once at 14 (experiment) and didn't like it, had difficulty breathing and felt sick for a while, 2 years later smoked (reg) again once thinking that I couldn't do it because weed was tough on me.. but still had trouble breathing, later found out I had high resp sensitivity to toxic gases and fumes, makes me cough and have heavy/troubled breathing, but can still breathe regular air fine, they don't know what I have but I stopped the checkups years ago because the doctor was a pervert

    got into drinking when I was 16, never told my parents, hid my love-life/sx life too (dont wanna rant about it).. started drinking on occasions, never really went to parties unless their was a reason to, and never had anything besides light beer or liquor, never more than a bottle, wash it down with water or coffee later when I wanna get sober, haven't stopped and just drink liquor now, why not I'm 22 already..

    (I feel old T-T)

    dont think you should react drastically yet, just be happy she's talking to you, if it feels like an awkward subject you can either make her feel better about it (works a lot better if you did it before since you can relate), advise her about the pros vs cons (no scare tactics.), or both, upto you :)

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  • I'm 22, so yeah not in high school and I study medicine. I've tried weed 5 times (2 twice in high school), and yes, peer pressure does get on your nerves. The last time I had weed and alcohol I had a bad trip and will never ever ever do it again. I will never smoke, get drunk, or do any drugs again. I guess it took experience to shake me out of it.

    I used to think it "looked cool" and it made you "cool", all kinds of stupid ideas to fit in. Now, I don't care a thing about fitting in. People should just like me for who I am, and I am not going to risk my conscience to make others prefer me.

    When I had a bad trip, I couldn't control myself and kept blacking out. I didn't have a grip on myself, it scared me to death. On of the worst days in my life definitely. (Wanted someone to end my life because I thought I was going crazy).

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  • I have never done any of that stuff, at any age. Just talk to her... it is not a wise choice for her to be doing this. If she continues, and/or adds other things, maybe consider signing her up for one of those teenage "Scared Straight" courses at a prison to get it through her head.

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    • scare tactics can cause psychological trauma and disorders, don't even joke about that "scared straight" crap

  • I consider myself pretty lucky as I have a high schooler who is a rule follower and is repelled by drinking and drugs and anyone who does it(and she's also a gifted student in advanced classes like yours). Honestly all kids are going to rebel at some point be thankful she's been honest with you and use it to educate her and make your relationship closer. I've always let my kids try anything I was drinking so at a party they won't get roped into the "hey just try it" she can say "already did thanks anyway!" or at least feel like if she doesn't try it there she'll never get to try it. All kids don't smoke and drink or have sex but it's the age that they wanna try stuff and get that rush that teenagers get from breaking rules. Just don't change your rules for her and it's OK to tell her you're disappointed in her behavior but also ask her how she feels about what happened and her choices so far in her life and see if she regrets them or if she wants to do things differently from this point on...

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    • Thank you. Asking open ended questions like how she feel is a good one . I will

  • At 14? That's kind of young. I'm 19 and started experimenting with alcohol at 15. I never smoked weed but lots of friends started when they were 15 or 16. (Freshman year) I feel like its normal to experiment and be curious when you get into high school. But it's still not okay. You need to make sure she knows that it isn't okay, regardless of what everyone else is doing. I'm sure you've already done that though. It's good she isn't sexually active. I lost my virginity 15 and regret it immensely. Your daughter was open about it, which was good. A little experimenting won't kill her, but if you notice she continues smoking and drinking, you should make changes. I wish my parents had paid more attention to my drinking and partying.

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