Why is GAG so full of people who hate the opposite gender?

The website is called GirlsAskGuys, with arrows implying it's also GuysAskGirls.

However, after being here for a few years, it seems a more accurate title would be GirlsHateGuys and GuysHateGirls.

I've had my fair share of bad experiences with men (more than my fair share, if you ask me, haha), but I've never felt bitter towards ALL men, hating men never even crossed my mind. But GAG is so packed full of women bashing men and men bashing women. It seems to be a gender war here sometimes, and before GAG, I never realized people were feeling THAT hostile towards the opposite gender.

I've seen answers from women saying they love to humiliate men and I've seen answers from men saying they can't think of any qualities to like about women. It goes on and on.

It reminds of when I was a kid and all of the girls would play on one side of the playground and all of the boys would play on the other. Have we really not matured at all since then? Haha!

Why do you think GAG houses so many misogynists and misandrists?

Do you sometimes feel like people use GAG as a giant hate club?

What are your thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I find it all over the Internet, but yeah, its quite prominent here and it does make this site a lot less enjoyable than it could be.

    Personally, I notice far more misogyny than misandry. I see the occasional girl saying something like, "Why are all guys jerks?" or "Why do guys only care about sex?" (Though, I'll allow that maybe I just pick up on misogyny more readily because its more personal to me).

    On the other hand, from reading this site, it seems like a lot of guys think women are just friendzoning, golddigging, manipulative bitches who offer nothing to relationships (or perhaps offer nothing to society at large).

    I've seen men act like/say women are all irrational. I've even had a guy once say to myself and another woman, when we disagreed with him about something, "I can't believe I wasted my logic on you girls".

    It seems like a lot of guys view women as sex objects, rather than people (you know, with feelings and stuff).

    I've seen tons of slut-shaming and victim-blaming from both guys and girls.

    And that's even sadder---there's a huge amount of internalized misogyny here too---women hating women and making graceless generalizations about women as a whole ("But not me! I'm not like that!").

    Frankly, there's a lot of sexism against women in society in general, and its easy for people to adopt those ideas. I just think that people are more honest about it online, particularly with the relative anonymity that the Internet provides.

    I assume that a lot of it stems from people having negative or frustrating experiences with the opposite sex and few positive experiences to balance it out, combined with a willingness to believe that half the population is a homogeneous group. The truth is that there are both sh*tty men and sh*tty women out there, as well as awesome men and awesome women.

    I have a lot of wonderful men in my life, so I know that the negative stereotypes/generalizations about men aren't true of all men. There are also a lot of really awesome guys on this site. That said, hearing men bash women every single time I come on the Internet does make me kind of nervous, like maybe there are a lot more men with these kinds of attitudes and I just don't know it because in person, they keep it to themselves. It's kind of scary, but I try to assure myself that these people are probably just a vocal minority.

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    • There are more female-bashers (more vocal at least) on this site, but have you every considered there may be a reason that there are more of them?

      I've known a few good women in my life too, but they're just milder versions of the problems in women in general... (I.E. sans logic for example)

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    • This is the perfect answer. And the sad part is, it is not confined to this website... It's everywhere.

    • 11 upvotes, has to be BA :-)

What Guys Said 32

  • I don't think its hate of one gender towards another as much as it is hating certain characteristics or being frustrated with certain experiences. I think a lot of people tend to be more frustrated with the opposite gender and post questions either to vent, solicit a boost to their self esteem or to genuinely seek answers.

    I have encountered a lot of these questions here on GaG and they seem to be the type of questions with the most rapid recycle rate.

    I strongly believe that simply because they are choosing to vent or seek answers, they can't really "hate" the opposite gender because if they did, most likely they wouldn't be concerned or care about trying to connect with them.

    Yes she is upset because he cheated on or dumped her. He is angry because she rejected him before giving him a chance. These things happen unfortunately and these people posting such questions may just have a hard time coping and dealing with these issues on their own. These forums often give them an outlet to vent, especially if they don't have a strong support network around them to help. I strongly believe the hate lies more within the behavior than the gender itself.

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  • haha- yeah... l have only been here on site a short time but have also witnessed really strange, unpleasent stuff... beyond some simply terrible attitudes or advice given, on occasion. .

    Then there's a whole lot of racial abuse... which is REALLY disheartening and nauseating.

    By and large, though I get the impression that many people genuinely try to assist- or at least give their honest opinions. At times they are just... well... somewhat twisted... lol

    I've had my own share of unfortunate experiences with the opposite gender over the years... that's just life. Like you l don't take it to heart or rake everyone over the same coals.

    Whatever may have occurred- in the end I love women, as I always have. There are just too many wonderful things to appreciate about you ladies to feel any differently.

    Viva girls... and viva les differences!

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  • Gag only reflects, to some extent, what happens in the broader society. And in the US (let's not forget a fair number of Gag'ers aren't from the US, and what we're saying here doesn't apply to them in general), the relations between the sexes aren't generally warm or harmonious...to say the least!

    Is there anyone over 18 From the USA here who doesn't realize that full well?

    Even a lot of under 18's are aware of that, already, in their own lives.

    With all due respect, Sparrow, I've found that when I disagree with YOU about anything, I just get immediately dismissed.

    True, you don't call me names or use four letter words or block me as other women are won't to do here...or, out there...when you dare disagree with them...and aren't a Don Trump figure..or gay..

    But a respectful discussion? Not that I've noticed, I'm sorry. Though you're actually a lot more reasonable than most, I'd estimate.

    I'm not blaming you individually here. Again, that is pretty much the NORM in the USA for how women and men relate...very unfortunately!

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    • Ha! You're right about her! She won't resort to name calling, but discussions with her DO tend to be one-sided under the facade of being "fair and equal" ;) She's crafty like that lol

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    • Wow...

    • I've said all I;'m going to say on this issue. But thank you for asking the question and even raising trhese issues. Most women would not have even done that. You're a lot better than most, as anony and I have said, several times!

  • It's silly in my opinion because a lot of the same Q's always come up

    "I can't approach women, why can't they approach me?"

    "I got friend zoned again!"

    "Why do girls only go for hot guys?"

    "Why are girls such drama?"

    "Why do girls/guys cheat?"

    "Why do girls constantly date jerks?"

    "Why do girls only want money?"

    "My ex won't talk to me anymore!"

    These are just a few. Thing is when relationships go well, we never hear about them. I only see things like "What should I get my boyfriend" every so often. Plus a lot of legit questions also get attacked by bitter people who come in and ruin the good questions too with comments relating to the examples I mentioned above. It's hard to keep an optimistic outlook these days when these kinds of people spread their bitterness over the website.

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    • You have to be realistic, this site only exists because people have those issues. Hardly anyone would come here to ask advice because their relationship/dating life is going really well.

  • Because most people in happy relationships don't come on this site looking for answers as often as people who are confused with their relationship or are hurt. So you get a lot of bitter people on this website who are asking questions and in most cases, don't like what the people have to say. Hard to stay positive when everyone else keeps being negative.

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  • I don't think it's really hate, but more resentfulness.

    People are a bit unsure about many things, including the decisions they make and try to ask another person about their past experience to give them some more understanding about the choices they took or are going to make.

    Too bad, when you open up to people, you also get the negative answers too, but I guess that's what you get when you publicly ask a question, you become open game. Thus the choice to ask anonymously . Some people can handle the negativity, but as you can see by the bashing, many can't.

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    • That a good distinction - it's not "hate," instead it's "resentfulness."

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    • No explicitly, but you don't accept anything! any of the men here have said, ANY of them.

    • What have I not accepted?

  • The site kind of invites people that are in troubling times in there life and need help. A lot of them are lashing out because they are frustrated. the sites main function is to seek information about the opposite gender and what they think on certain questions, someone in a happy relationship would be less inclined to join because they are content, they don't need to seek information about flirting, dating, boyfriend/girlfriend problems or what ever. It goes the other way as well, I barely used this site for a year and a half when I was in a relationship because it had that singles website feel to it, a lot of people mad at the world because they can't find mr or mrs right or they feel they got screwed over. Once my relationship abruptly ending -_- I was back here within a week looking up questions and wondering what to do lol.

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  • Every individual is a product of his or her own respective environment. People develop an understanding of the world via their own experiences and if all they experience is negativity from the opposite gender, then they are more likely to project that anger and frustration by generalizing and bashing that gender. Although it is quite unfortunate and it does frustrate me to see these types of generalizations and reason is not a synonym for excuse for them to be ranting like this, it does pain me to see that there are concentrations of both genders that have no idea how to treat each other.

    There is one scenario that really sets me off which I can find no reason for: one gender choosing to date jerks (both genders do this), ignore the ones that aren't jerks and then call everyone who is the opposite gender a jerk.

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  • I think that online, people are more able to express their negative emotions, while in life, you might possible face worse consequences for being hateful towards someone. So in life, if you were to be angry towards a group, you risk the whole group attacking you back. There's also more of a need to appear more civilized in public. Whereas online, even people with very little muscles can argue with people who have lots of muscle. There is much less intimidation, so people are more able to speak their minds.

    I see lots of bashing, but I feel that many men are not allowing feminists to believe what they will believe in. But I think what's happening, is that when people keep on talking about these issues on here, in an unproductive way, then it will keep on cycling through negative emotions, creating more hatred or anger on both sides. For there to be peace, I think everyone must be able to handle being criticized and be able to reply in a respectable manner.

    Women do get more emotional, but at the same time, they also have many good emotions. Women can be hateful, but they can also be so positive and full of energy. Men can be aggressive, rude, and inconsiderate, but they can also be kind and caring. So both genders can learn from each other.

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  • To those of you who still think Sparrow doesn't call out women on anything, you need to look a little harder

    link

    Question: What do you hate about your own gender"

    Sparrows Response:

    - When they demand special treatment but cry "I want equality" out of the same breath.

    - When they say everything and anything a man does to them is sexual harassment.

    - When they act like looks shouldn't matter, but dress in heels and wear makeup and revealing clothes.

    - When they refuse to admit that a man is better at something than them.

    - When they let their emotions make decisions.

    - When they dress like a streetwalker, and then whine when men look at them or when people assume they're a streetwalker.

    - When they think they can hit men without being hit back, just because they're women.

    - When they get defensive about EVERYTHING people say.

    - When they try to act like men.

    She doesn't need a lecture

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    • Like the others here, she evades the questions. When I asked a question about whether girls give BAs mostly to girls, regardless of the quality of the answers, she, like several others, piously answwered and swore that wasn't true, giving their own stats on BA.s

      I didn't ask what people individually did..I asked if girls did this in general. So even without questioning their stats, they evaded answering my question. Qutie deliberately, and sysematically. She was just one of these

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    • You have a point there...but judging by the reaction I got, a lot of people DO care..!

  • I love how some of the guys here expect you to become the next martin luther king for male rights lol. Seriously, would you guys relax? I've known sparrow long enough to know that she isn't anti-men and she isn't oblivious to what men go through. I just find it disappointing that sparrow is the target here when I could name at least 3 others who openly slap men across the face, verbally. Massive massive waste of energy here imo

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    • I agree with Janson. The question wasn't targeting men, it was targeting persons of BOTH genders who appear to be at war with the respective opposite gender for problems that they most likely created or contributed to creating. Bashing sparrow for trying to get each side's perspective is a bit like shooting the messenger and its creating turmoil. Lets address the issues stated in the question and attack that instead of attacking the person who asked.

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    • No one's attacking her individually; it's a societal pattern involved and we say that. Some of us just think she evades the issue sometimes.

      Both anony and I have said SEVERAL times she's better than most women, and at least, hey, she asked this question and RAISED the issues! More than most women would have done

    • So let's all attack a woman for evading a question sometimes? If we think someone isn't focusing on the argument, we start attacking the person? Also, to say that one woman is better than most women is really degrading. Women can't be treated or looked down like that.

  • I think there are haters here, but that is on any forum. There are trolls no matter where you go. There are far more people on here who have questions and are just looking for some advice.

    I try not to judge when I respond on here. I also don't pull any punches or sugar coat things either. An honest answer is worth more than spared feelings. But I do try to be somewhat tactful in my responses.

    I think there is a lot of people who have a bad taste for the opposite gender because there are a lot of sh*tty people in this world. And they just haven't found enough good people yet to outweigh the bad people. Most people in the world are just two steps away from screwing you over. There are a lot of selfish and self-absorbed people out there. And love and relationships are a crazy rocket sled ride of fun and excitement and heartbreak and disappointment.

    When it comes to my ideas and thoughts on women, when I make a general comment about how women act, if a woman gets all mad and says, "I'm not like that," I simply respond, "Then show me you aren't." Actions always speak louder than words.

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  • As you've said, this all originates back to the "playground" - But sites like these just reinforces those feelings of separation between the sexes...

    There are two kinds of misogynists in my opinion -

    The first kind:

    These are the grown up boys who never got past age 8 and still like to act like women can’t be in charge, these men feel threatened by women who challenge them, and these men still believe it’s 1950. These kinds of guys are rare, but they still exist. “Go in the kitchen and gimme a sammich” kind of guys… they’re Neanderthals…

    The second kind (the majority of so-called misogynists like myself):

    These are guys who have been put through the ringer by women. Constant rejections, favoritism, being passed over for simply being male… When this sh*t happens on a daily basis, it’s going to be extremely difficult for us to separate the VERY few good women from the bad women… Our vision becomes skewed... so while not every women is a f***ing nut - most ARE. That means we're going to come to the consensus that "One size fits all." It's a bad way of thinking, but it serves as a blueprint.

    So, for bruised and battered men to get labeled as misogynists is bullsh*t when in fact we’re just speaking from experience and from the heart.

    And if ANYONE thinks I don’t know what the f*** I’m talking about, I challenge you to a debate. Engage me.

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    • It cracks me up that you call others sensitive :-P

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    • or military or country etc

    • Ha! You're right man - It's dicey to have a woman in a position of authority where lives are at stake, but I'm not threatened by it unless it directly affects my safety (like in the military or politics ;)

      But if my boss in a restaurant is a woman, what the f*** do I care?

  • well look at it this way guys typically hold different values from girls and vice versa, guys and girls typically have difficulty communicating with each other because of these differences.

    so its typical for people to get angry at the others who don't hold their values and can't communicate (just look at most religions)

    I think you just see more of these differences online because people are saying what they actually think as opposed to what they might just think in real life

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  • ahhh yes, a lot of internet anger here. these same people almost always go anonymous which shows you their nad size. the saddest part is their brain size however, they generalize everything instead of understanding that for every misogynist/misandrist out there there is plenty of others not like that at all.

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  • Its because a site for people with relationship and/or dating problems is going to attract a significantly larger amount of people who have a bad experiences with the opposite sex. This is made worse by allowing users to post anonymously, although that feature is obviously there for a reason.

    Also I think a lot of people are too touchy here anyway, some girls here think saying women generally prefer good looking men or rich men is misogyny, when its actually just an accurate observation of reality.

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    • Exactly. There are some really sensitive dinks on this site!

    • Most of our women won't handle criticism. They blame others, usually men, for any problems.

  • to be fair, there seems to be a lot of curious or positive questions with positive replies. I wouldn't say GAG is "full" of opposite gender haters/resenters. Though, there is a decent amount.

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  • It's all your fault! =P

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    • Apparently, haha!

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    • Lmao @ robotic. Me 2! And I agree with amuse, all her fault. :-P

    • Yes, the world would be perfect if it weren't for her

  • People say on the Net a lot of what they'd never have guts for in the real life, so...

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    • In real life, you would't speak out your real opinion. At your work, for example, you wouldn't dare, and for good reasons. I doubt you'd do it, either. The feminazis all stick together.

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    • Sites like this existg precisely because we really can't speak freely in most other forums.

    • Whatever

  • I think it's all over the internet, not just here.

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    • Well of course... but why do you think that is?

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    • Same here. I've never posted anything anonymously - There's nothing on GAG that I would say that I couldn't say in real life.

    • I can tell youI I'd never be able to talk about these issues with women I work with. They might be civil to my face, but they'd try to get me behind my back...

      Not all women, only a small minority, are feminazis, but virtually none will stand up to the ones that are. That's the problem.

  • I don't hate girls... some people get a few bad experiences and think everyone of that gender is the same.

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  • I don't think most of the hateful comments are that serious to be honest. They are more of an outlet for the personal frustrations people feel and take out on the opposite sex. Lets face it, "social" internet sites are filled with a lot of lonely frustrated people. If those same people were happy they wouldn't be saying anything like that. Its the pain of loneliness that is coming out in these self destructive ways of attacking others. I've definitely been guilty of it, which is why I know it.

    That and on the internet, the respect people usually have for each other in person, even if there are negative feelings, is pretty much gone.

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  • cuz stereotyping is human nature? It's human nature. Highly Rational. Highly Illogical.

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  • hating a whole gender has its roots on insecurity. They each think that the other gender is responsible for their misery. Stay away from people like that.

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  • I feel like most people use GAG to rant on opposite genders for no reason and just because your account really does not get removed because most people don't report you. Also, this site attracts trolls.

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  • Perhaps it's a coincidence that there are users here who hate the opposite gender.

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  • i don't know, but I DON'T hate opposite gender ;)

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  • i don't know but it is very tiresome

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  • Most women today are hypocrites but they have absolutely no idea they are. The comments from the first two anon girls here sum up the problem pretty well, I think. They are actually both the same user, and she says this kind of sh*t here all day, every day. Ever see a woman call her out on it? Of course not. Ever see other male users call out the misogynists here? I see that the time. That’s pretty typical female behavior. I know, I know…not all women, but yes, most. Other women rarely if ever stand up against misandry.

    Men, and society have shown over the past several decades that they care about and value women and girls. Women have done nothing in return for men and boys. Absolutely nothing. They continue to show no compassion for the male gender. If anyone speaks up about the problems men and boys face today, not only are women unwilling to acknowledge them, they riot and protest against it. Imagine how you ladies would feel about men who rioted and protested against people who spoke out in support of women’s issues. You better believe those men would be shamed instantly by a majority of other men because we care about women’s wellfare. Why are men not afforded the same support from women?

    As long as women, as a gender, continue to demonstrate they do not care about the male gender, men will continue to be resentful toward women. As long as otherwise good women silently stand by as misandrous women say and do what they do, and society continues to ignore the problems faced by the other half of humanity, men will continue to have very good reason to resent women. Those otherwise good women are guilty by virtue of their silence.

    In my experience, there is only one exception to what I describe above, and that is those women who are mothers of boys. They are generally the only women whose eyes are open to the sexism males face today, and the only women who give a f*** about.

    QA: it seems to me that when anyone engages you on the subject of sexism you just sweep it under the rug with a comment like “I just hate all sexism”. What’s the point of asking this question if you’re not willing to actually discuss the ugly reasons behind sexism? You think it will just go away if you ignore it?

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    • I don't ignore anything.

      I asked the question because I'm making an effort not to ignore it.

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    • She's not the Messiah, so if you're waiting for her to start some movement or lead a mens rights rally through Alabama, you'll be waiting a very long time. If after all she already does, you still expect more than that, then your expectations are grossly unrealistic

    • !Could you message me privately? We need to stick together!

  • it helps then release some of the built up anger lol

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 14

  • "Do you sometimes feel like people use GAG as a giant hate club?" YES. It sure seems that way sometimes. It's like that's the main reason some people are here - for a public forum to whine, vent, and blame the other gender for all of their misfortunes.

    I don't participate in those gender bashing sessions, and I come on here less because of them. It frustrates me to read thoughts that most men are remorseless - a**holes and players, who cheat and view women as solely sex toys, or that women are manipulative - self-entitled bitches who are after your money, and will lie and cheat. You start to get the wrong impression that most people have these views, if you listen to the hate & anger-filled people here, which I decided against doing shortly after I joined this site years ago, but it's still annoying to see.

    There's good advice too of course, and those with a balanced, realistic view of men and women, but I think the haters are just more vocal about it. What they're saying doesn't come from any place of rationality, it's just fueled by negative emotions from bad experiences with the other sex, which they weren't able to overcome and realize they shouldn't judge all men/women by what some have said or done in their limited experience.

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    • I don't completely disagree, but it's more than just a few unbalanced people who have this generally negative view of the opposite sex.

      As you can see in the answers, these attitudes are pretty widespread. It's false to claim that most people don't have a problem. Most DO. That's why the question was asked in the first place.

    • No, I don't think most people in life have a hatred for the opposite gender or view them in the ways I listed in my answer. The ones who do are very loud about it (on the Internet), however. It seems more concentrated here probably because of the nature of this site. There's certainly tension between genders and problems on both sides, but I wasn't referring to people who discuss them constructively and realistically.

  • I know, sometimes people just like to insult each other. I am not bitter towards all men but some guys on here just piss me off because it is like they enjoy insulting women.

    I would say sometimes people like to rant on here and it is okay as long as they let us prove them that not all women are like they think they are.

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    • A lot of guys on here seriously do enjoy pissing us off. I think on an unconscious or conscious level they believe the crap they spout too. Garbage in, garbage out, as well as the interactions between attitude and behavior (they affect each other both ways).

    • I know right! Especially the ones who belittle us or make us seem like superficial creeps,

    • Some are very cruel too, like wishing physical harm on us or laughing when it happens. :(

  • Well, most of us only land here because something in their relationship has gone wrong or the relationship is not happening. So if you are feeling a bit raw then you are likely to lash out. Also, you can be here, because there's something you don't understand, (or you do but you are frustrated because you cannot change it). It's unfortunate, but human, to feel aggressive towards things you cannot grasp.

    But, for myself, I don't hate men. Actually, from the answers I got to my questions, I think that most of the guys here are pretty good men, because they think about stuff and they ask questions. Many seem very open and you think if only the guys I meet offline were that communicative!

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  • It's easier to blame everyone else and society than to accept incompetence and failure to achieve personal goals

    People on here exaggerate how terrible the opposite sex actually is.

    As much as I mock people on here, I don't feel sorry for people on here. Misery loves company and they all enjoy coming together in self pity

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    • Yep, I don't pity those who don't have real problems, like "waaa, can't get the hottest girl in school so I'm ugly and women are terrible!"

  • because its and advice site so people come to vent and complain. I do think some users just hate guys or girls for the wrong reasons. I guess they don't take time to see their faults or wait for things to com their way instead of forcing them to happen

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  • People get very brave on the internet because they're anonymous.

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  • I think it's "special snowflake syndrome." I make it clear that not all men and women do the behaviors I have spoken out about, and I feel no pleasure in humiliating a man, but I'm always called a misandrist on here. Whatever.

    Shame on the guys attacking you and justifying hate for American women because they were "battered" by rejection. Oh boo hoo, I have been rejected and experienced way worse than that but I don't paint all people with the same brush.

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    • Thank you.

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    • Thanks. If only I could find a better word for collectivism though. It's not like all Asians live huddled together like it's a bad thing. I wonder who came up with that word?

    • Haha! A teamwork culture (not that America doesn't have it though). That sounds nice.

  • how sad.

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  • I am not sure, but I know I don't hate the other gender, have run into some that really seem like they do.

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  • They have the balls to do it since it is the net and it is all over

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  • Yes, some people use the site as a sexist place, I've seen it a few times.

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  • they are leftovers...

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  • I think the boys started this stupid woman bashing so the girls are just retailiating. That's what I've seen. Now, as for why there are woman haters? From what I've seen, most of the guys on this site are bitter virgins that think women owe them sex for being "nice". They don't stop and think its possibly their looks, personality or lack of confidence that keeps them from getting laid.

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    • Of course I got downvoted for speaking the truth and that dbag with the long ass answer below amuse is andywes, that coward

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    • Burn! You go :)

    • Why thank you :)

  • I see misogyny on this site. I haven't seen any man hating.

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    • Chortle, guffaw, giggle, anonymous

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    • Exactly. I haven't seen any man bashing. I remember that question. I found it laughable

    • "Men have it harder" = "I fail to recognize that, more often than women, I am seen as my own person (not a reflection of my entire gender), people on the Internet don't hate on me as much when I express my opinion, and that I am automatically considered 'more logical' no matter what claims I make."

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