Signs that he is using you, is ashamed of you, or only just wants sex, or he is doing all 3

[Anonymous]

This is inspired by the questions I have seen and asked on girlsaskguys and answers to questions that I have asked.

Before you read please note that there are always some exceptions depending on the situation and some may seem like generalizations but I do realize that every woman has different experiences.

Also, this is to help mainly the females but is open to opinions from males too and it can help some men too who may have felt used.

1. He only texts you at night

The only time you hear from the guy is at night and it may be because he is horny. He most likely is dating women during the day and contacts you to come over because he doesn't want to be bothered with you during the day because you are not important to him

2. He pressures you for sex

Any man who respects you will not pressure you or make you feel like sex is the only way to prove you love him. If he talks about sexual things all the time whenever you talk or he only responds when you bring up anything he thinks is sexual that's really all he may want from you

3. He never asked you to be his girl and he never introduced you to his friends or parents after long months of talking or dating.

I can understand if a guy wants to things slow but if you've been talking to this guy for 7-12 months and no one knows about you two then he might be ashamed of you

4. Instinct

This one is pretty simple. If you have a gut feeling that he is ashamed of you then he most likely is. If he gives you a bad feeling then get out as soon as you can. A guy who cares and wants a relationship with you is not going to give you a bad gut feeling all the time

5. He goes for weeks without contacting you and then pops up out of the blue to contact you

He does not give you his time. Often actions speak louder than words. If he acts like you are in the way when he is the one who contacted you then he doesn't care about you

Feel free to write any other signs or red flags you think a man shows that is using you...

[John_Doesnt]

This isn't a rule of thumb. Guys can act weird and still be serious about a relationship. Also remember that some people are busy and get caught up in their lifestyle responsibilities. Just because a guy only texts you a night doesn't mean anything, he could just be working all day.

[myTake Owner]

Yep that's what a guy told me once that he works all day which is why he onli texted me at night. But we were talking for 6 months and he only texted me when he was horny and he never introduced me to his friends and he never asked me to be his girlfriend after we talked for a year. Also I never said this was a rule of thumb

[Anonymous]

You forgot, "he never ask about your daily plans, never takes you out, doesn't have interest in knowing anything about you, gives broken promises" - all an indication of all three

Just a few

[Anonymous]

I don't know with me it started out with him taking me around his friends and him taking me out to the movies and my friends knowing about it. Then it all changed onces his family found out I had a child they didn't want him to be with me so he saw me in secret and it all became a sex thing like all the statements up above and he used me the sad part is that he eventually was telling his friends about all of it and it got back to me which is embarrassing anyway even worse is he got a new girlfriend which I did not know about and he was still seeing me at night but when I did find out about her I stopped seeing him but it sucks to be used I just don't understand why he was good to me to begin with then it just changed

[myTake Owner]

After he found out you had a son he treated you badly. He will pay back for treating you wrong though. It sounds like he is immature and he's an asshole. You deserve better

[Opinion Owner]

I have a daughter but yes once he found that out he became a different person and treated me horrible we where in college at the time and I was a single mother that was hard enough on its on

[myTake Owner]

That's good that you went to college even though you had a kid. i believe more and more women are going to college while pregnant or even after giving birth. I know this girl who got pregnant by her boyfriend while she was in college and she still is in school even after having the baby

[VonHoffer]

I know how some of you feel. I've been used before, but this is different. I've been used for being a boyfriend to a girl until her ex decides he loves her and then she breaks up with me and goes back to him. Then, when he is being a jerk, she leaves him and comes back to me. I couldn't take it! She just wanted a boyfriend 24/7. Never asking for sex, never texting at night, and never pressuring for anything.

[VampireEmpress]

yep, people can use you w/o the sexual aspect.

[myTake Owner]

Did you cut her off after you found out the first time that she was doing that?

[VonHoffer]

No, I tried to get her back. When she called on Valentine's Day of 2014 to break up, that was it. She got steralyzed.

[myTake Owner]

You should have never tried to get her back after she did you wrong, doing that only hurts you more

[VonHoffer]

Yeah. She did it twice more and then Valentine's day of last year did it. She got steralyzed and she crushed me. I couldn't take it anymore.

[myTake Owner]

Yea don't allow her to keep hurting you after the first time

[VonHoffer]

We're not bf/gf anymore. We're still great friends and we still talk. We're ok.

[myTake Owner]

You allow yourself to be used if you keep her in your life after the first time you found out what she did

[VonHoffer]

Yeah. It was a terrible mistake. It's not happening anymore.

[Anonymous]

I just dealt with a guy who made me felt he didn't care for me and only wanted sex from me and I don't know if he was using me for sex. I'm so confuse but now we don't have a chance because when I wanted to work things out again he told me didn't want to anymore and he hurt my feelings during it. Now I feel like he hates me and plus I have a broken heart. But my gut feeling is telling he really did liked me at one point.

[abundantlyrich]

For sex... Its a very casual relationship. Friends with benefits.

[SilenRose]

Pretty much spot on.

[Bards]

7-12 months seems pretty long for that

[Bards]

But good take.

[FieryBeauty]

Great take! I agree with everypoint.