I realised officially what a nerd I am on the 15th of February 2012, when I was in Greece for holidays. I went to the theater with my two Greek friends....alright they're not exactly my friends, but when everyone else says ''no'' for a movie and these two say ''yes', you hang out with them just for that.
So we went to watch Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace in 3D with our tickets already booked 2 weeks ago (yes that's me below holding my ticket which I have kept since then) . I was always obsessed with Star Wars but that night, while we were hanging out there, I saw lots of other people who, like me, had an above average passion and knowledge about the adventures of Luke, Leia, Han and their gay robot.
While we were watching the first scene in the Jedi Council, I was one of the few who noticed that the puppet Yoda from the 1999 version, was replaced by a computer generated Yoda. And I was probably the only one being so enthusiastic about it.
And this is the substance of being a nerd. To be happy, pissed, anrgy and fight or read about things that have actually no effect or importance in your life to the point where you leave behind things that have real importance.
Stereotypes about guys who wear ugly clothes, big broken glasses repaired with tape and can't get laid are cute in stupid comedy movies from the 80's, but they're not true and as we will see, many people can earn the title of ''Nerd'' with the same criteria no matter how much they don't want to accept it.
Let's take for example car lovers. People who find it socially acceptable to cover a car with 200 different stickers of companies that make car parts which the car in question doesn't have. These guys will never be professional racers but they know all the details about their favourite car, which they read in ''Max Power'' or ''Top Gear''. Excuse, but isn't this the same thing with a group of pale kids playing ''Dungeons and Drangons'' in the basement of their house?
-Hey dude, my car has a Super All Wheel Control!
-Yeah dude, but you know what dude? My car has a Turbocharged Mivec Engine!
-Yeah dude, but dude, my car can call Pikatchu and give your car +100 damage with every critical hit dude!
When I see scenes like this, I want to get between those guys and throw them a stack of ''Yu-Gi-Oh'' cards in the face. And don't forget that car lovers collect miniatures of their favourite cars, wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning to watch live the F1 race in Japan and they visit exhibitions to see the top cars and hot chicks in sports uniforms. Hmmm.... sexy girls in sports uniforms. I have seen this before, but where? Ah yes! A ''Comic Con'' convention! In other words.... NEEEERDS!
Another example. Rugby/Football/Soccer fans. Our dear armchair coaches. A Trekkie can tell you in which ''Star Trek'' episode, Spock lifted his left eyebrow instead of the right. But even this is a drop in the ocean compared to the sheer knowledge of useless informations that a Soccer fan can provide you. And YES! These informations are USELESS! The importance of the match between Real Madrid against Manchester United in 1987 is on the same level with the fight of John Matrix against Bennet in ''Commando''. And let's admit that the support someone is giving to ''his'' team is based on random criteria. No one ever sat down and started to study all teams and compare them to see which one suits him better. The team you will support is not determined by some study you made. It is determinded by your dad and how much you want to be against him or not. And the success of ''your'' team has no direct value for your life, unless you have placed bets on a match where you're about to win or lose money. The problem is that some teams have been created to win! Germany's best groups for example. ''BVB Dortmund'' and ''FC Bayern''. Two companies with the most money that win every year the championships. This is the same thing with sitting at a Black Jack table and support the dealer. And one more thing. If you have bought T-Shirts of your favourite team and wear them on your daily routine, outside of the stadium, you're such a nerd that even Jerome Flynn must put on a college jacket and hang you by your underpants on a footlocker. Soccer fans think for some reason that a Trekkie wearing a Trek T-Shirt is the weird guy who can't get a girlfriend, but if he changes the Trek T-Shirt with a ''BVB Dortmund'' T-Shirt he becomes a cool guy.
Concluding, what I want to say is that it is not the hobby that makes someone a nerd, but the way he/she is dealing with. Anyone can enjoy a movie with an adventure of Luke Skylwalker, Frodo Baggins, Harry Potter, Indiana Jones or Batman. But you must be a nerd to know the whole universe where these Heroes belong.
My final message is:
I am Optimus Prime! And I send this message to all nerds worldwide! Soccer fans who fall into depression when their team loses, car lovers who argue every day about cars, fashion girls who are obsessed with the latest series of Victoria's Secret bra and panties, porn addicted guys who can tell you the Top 100 best porn stars, board game geeks who spend a whole night to write homemade rules for the latest ''Axis & Allies'' game! Say it loud and with pride! I am a NERD! Come to the Dark Side! JOIN US!
Unite the clans!
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