How To Tool Other Guys

[pavlove]

Ah, tooling other guys. It feels great to do and horrifying to have happen to you--especially if it's in front of a girl you like. Here's just a simple breakdown of what it means to tool another guy and how to defend yourself from it...

No matter where he's at mentally, you put him in the beta/inferior role.

Don't get all upset at the use of the word beta. It actually is relevant here. See, even if you walk into a party and the guy is acting really confident with girls...you can tell he's really feeling himself and the interaction he's smooth he's present he's engaged. Hell, he's even getting dance floor make outs. All you do to "tool" the guy is you overpower his reality with yours. What does this mean? Ok so say he's killing it having a great time you walk over and confidently yell "Oh, he thinks he's doing great. He think he's really cool tonight." Then look at his eyes and wait for his confidence to start to break a little then "oh, now that i'm here he can't do it. What's he going to do now? How about now? Oh, he's done. Good try, buddy!" This does two things--first it tells him "oh, i'm the beta now...i was cool but now i'm the guy under him who kind of just waits. I guess i must have been that the whole time and didn't know. Second, and more importantly, it conveys to the girl who's watching this that he can be shut down by another male. Now you're talking to the girl all normal and confident and he tries to make a joke but it doesn't quite hit and you two are talking about something and he like tries to pipe in but nothing really lands. He's lost it. He's blown himself out (well, really you did but to him it feels like he did.)

Act like you can't hear him

When a guy is feeling really high status there's a weird social phenomenon where he honestly can't hear other people who aren't confident but try to talk to him anyways. It's like something in his social radar has detected a lack of value and blocked it out so he can focus on high pressure social interactions. Yet, when a guy is tooling you it's because he knows the effect of you saying something to him and you not turning your head or responding does to his sense of value to the room. A shy person's biggest fear isn't that they are going to open up their mouth and say something stupid, it's actually that they'll open their mouthes and no one will hear them. By acting like you can't hear the guy you've tooled him and again made him look weak, scared, passive, and inferior. Funny enough, it's usually guys who get really good at understanding how all this works that end up holding some deep seated resentment of women. The guys who get tooled blame themselves for losing the attraction of women, the guys who tool other guys and then cheat with the guy's girlfriend ironically come to see women as these traitorous harpies.

How to defend: Tooling is a lot like sparring--many times it will just be another guy who tools guys himself and so you and he will just go at it with neither being the clear victor. If that's not your bag, i'd say shining as loud of a light on him is the best defense. It's an underhanded social mechanism that honestly many guys do without realizing it because they're simply just bullies but whether know or they don't know why and how they're doing it, when you point out what's happening the whole room understands that this guy isn't confident enough to just be cool. He has to try to get inside other guy's heads. Again, I'd rather see tooling as a sport personally with no hard feelings involved but either way don't let yourself get tooled again.

[the_rake]

ah I have a love-hate relationship with this because it's all so true.

best way to 'tool' is engage in the stare contest. people look away because they don't even know what it is you're doing. and then you reframe everything so you win anyway - e. g. "ok, I looked away first but that guy flinched before -> I win." "damn, I flinched but oh, he just looked away -> I win." then when you're talking it's a question of loads of mini-battles where you keep your eye-contact or if not eye-contact, you look at the mouth. if there's a pregnant pause hold it. if he's talking a lot then you know he's just blabbering. if he's not saying much you tell yourself it's because he's stumbling for words. don't be the man to finish the conversation. or if you do end up finishing the conversation you just think that it's because he was getting really needy and wanted to keep on talking too much. so in a nutshell you always reframe contact with other men in the club so you come out as the high status male but with the focus on extending contact (push) rather than reducing it (pull) because you want to be (a) aggressive and (b) social. hell, you can even do it with women just more toned down.

[the_rake]

the other thing is. let absolutely no-one know your doing this. I'm only saying this stuff now because it's online and I can't keep my mouth shut anyways. but in IRL, you do this mind-game stuff extremely discretely and you have to put out an air of positivity. because otherwise people will just see you as being confrontational and perhaps even creepy. smile, use psychological reframing techniques and hold that eye-contact / pregnant pauses, it works!

[Lioness]

Something a "tool" would write 😆

[pavlove]

i honestly wish people would just block me instead of troll me if they dislike me so much. i guess this is more fun for you but more or less just exhausting for me.

[pnl86]

This is the kind of behavior that's normal from people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, or a manic episode if they're suffering from bipolar disorder.

Ironically, the very reason you would see this kind of behavior (especially from a male), is because he's feeling as if he has zero to very little underlying value or worth to contribute. Lacking any real objective basis for dominance, he resorts to a primary (primitive) defense processes of omnipotent control, devaluation, and splitting of the ego, and the secondary (higher-order) defense process of reaction formation.

Phrased differently, this person takes on the (negative) "critical parent" ego state. In the (negative) critical parent ego state, one doesn't listen to others, because the opinions of everyone else are inferior and wrong (compared to his own). Additionally, the person seeks to "comfort" themselves by belittling others by criticism, judgment, blame, threats, displays of power and control, in order to feel "relatively" superior or better about himself.

A man who thinks this isn't transparent, not only to women, but even to other men, is deluding himself. Or perhaps that old joke is relevant here: "Even though I'm just a freshman, my professors have said that my speaking and writing are very sophomoric."

As a trial lawyer, when a witness (usually a police officer or expert) starts to feel "comfortable" and "confident," they start to present themselves to the jury (and on the record) like the bad guy. That's the only battle that matters during trial - the gut feeling and reaction people get when they hear a person responding to questions. In that moment, the jury doesn't care what the facts are - they will only remember "what feeling did that guy give me?"

In that "battle of the ethos," there is a "bad guy" and a "good guy." Now, the "good guy" can be weak and pushed over, or he can remain in control (or, he can lose it and turn into the bad guy, affording the witness sympathy). When a witness is being "feisty," I hand them the shovel and let them do my job for me in painting themselves like a jerk. It's more convincing when "the witness himself" does or says something "on his own" that demonstrates the nature of his character as a person. The jury can more easily conclude, "Wow, I don't like that person."

So, if the "strategy," is to "sacrifice likability for FEELING (internally) dominant," then it's time to start reading more marketing than PUA materials.

[Battooot]

I REALLLY think you need to fix a lot of your writing and grammar. i didn't understand half of what you said.

here's the sentences that diidn't make sense to me:
- Yet, when a guy is tooling you it's because he knows the effect of you saying something to him and you not turning your head or responding does to his sense of value to the room.

if a guy is tooling you, doesn't it mean that you are the one who is not being listened to? he's the one whose supposed to NOT turn his head not you.

- If that's not your bag, i'd say shining as loud of a light on him is the best defense.

-It's an underhanded social mechanism that honestly many guys do without realizing it because they're simply just bullies but whether know or they don't know why and how they're doing it, (when you point out what's happening the whole room understands that this guy isn't confident enough to just be cool)

The sentence i put brackets on (), does not make complete sense to me with the sentence before it.

[Tromba]

I think I've had something like that happen a few times. Once I recall i just started laughing because the ploy was so ridiculous. I looked at the girl I'd been talking to where he'd inserted himself and just raised my eyebrows, She suddenly had a violent urge to use the ladies lavatory and we left together.

The other time was even more strange. I was talking to the girl, I wasn't particularly interested in her but she was doing that standing too close thing women do when they are interested in you. This guy i didn't know came up and literally inserted himself between us. I thought he was her boyfriend or something so I stepped back but after a minute I realized from their conversation that she didn't know him either. I rescued her by fabricating a meeting we were supposed to attend and we got away each asking the other in incredulous tones "Who was that guy?".

[TheBag]

If this is what works for you, you must hang out in shitty places with shitty people. That describes most places though, so I can see how you get by.

"Oh, he thinks he's doing great. He think he's really cool tonight."
This isn't going to do anything unless you are talking to another person who is egocentric and/or has self-esteem issues.

"oh, now that i'm here he can't do it. What's he going to do now? How about now? Oh, he's done. Good try, buddy!"
Ludicrous. Two words: grade school.
But again, I can see how you get by.

Something interesting is the day might come where you say this to the wrong person and get the absolute shit kicked out of you. The tougher you think you are the more likely it is that this will happen.

Why not divert all that effort into being a well-rounded, good person? You will overpower other peoples' reality with no effort. And then you take what you want.

[Tdieseler]

Ok... not a fan of "tools" and the only thing thats worse are the people that try to "out tool" them. I tend to leave all that "competition" to the women, they are the ones who do all that.
if a guy is going at it and getting attention, im either usually happy for him, or i join him, depending on my mood.

[Fugue]

ROTFL what the cock is this shit? If a guy did this in front of me, I'd laugh and ask if he has tourette's.

[SarahsSummer]

What is point of this nonsensical rant? And your "tooling" activity for that matter?

[the_rake]

no offense but you obviously don't understand what it's all about. it's about standing your ground, not fucking with guys because you get some sort of twisted pleasure out of it. walk into a club other guys will do this if you don't do it and girls will see you as weak. that's just the way things are: the only solution is to either embrace it or find hot girls elsewhere (but guess what: the club is one of the few places you can get casual sex nowadays and even then it's tough). women will judge your reproductive fitness according to your interactions with other males. maybe they know what they are doing maybe not, but point is they do it.

[SarahsSummer]

@the_rake ok. I read the whole thing again so is this whole excercise a way to steal girls away from the confident guy? And now you are telling me, a girl, how girls behave in bars and what we are thinking and how we judge men based on their interactions with other random guys? really?

[the_rake]

it's just about demonstrating reproductive fitness through exercising confidence at the beginning of the night. The girl hasn't even decided who she likes best yet she will judge that based on really small subtle things like how tall each guy stands, if a guy can walk through a crowd of other guys or if he is tiptoing around them trying to move out there way, if a guy can hold eye contact or if he is constantly flinching away. that kind of thing. you don't have to literally go up to a guy and say, "Oh, he thinks he's doing great. He think he's really cool tonight." This is reflected in your overall psychology. Ultimately it's a sum-zero game because other guys will be competing to feel the same level of confidence throughout the night, and when they feel the spirits lifted they will capitalise on this and use the energy to hit on the girl.

[the_rake]

'now you are telling me, a girl, how girls behave in bars and what we are thinking and how we judge men based on their interactions with other random guys'

I think girls don't always realise what they do. They think they like the guy because he showed interest in them, got them talking, laughing, etc. (and maybe even the guy thinks this is what did the trick) but what really turned them on was that the guy showed high status and projected a dominant frame (usually for quite a while).

[SarahsSummer]

@the_rake damn, you're as nonsensical as the first guy. How bout cut out all the big words and all the paragraphs and psycho babble and just say "girls react well to confident guys." ?

[the_rake]

because you have to explain what you mean by confidence, how confidence is communicated to people, what you feel when you're actually confident compared to when you're faking confidence, etc., etc.

[SarahsSummer]

@the_rake here's a news flash, we can tell when a guy is faking confidence. We don't need other tools to attempt to call him out.

[the_rake]

here's another newsflash: (a) women are not as spectacularly brilliant at doing this as they may think, (b) the advice in the op was obviously generated at helping men cultivate a competitive mindset. on the last point op made an excellent analogy with sparring actually. I practise muay thai and I can confirm the psychology of it is EXACTLY like this. this RSD todd video is extremely useful for extending the sparring analogy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F4UV--BS7o

anyway, the underlying point about confidence is that sometimes social interaction (moreover seduction) IS sum-zero. it's NOT always, "I win you win" as much as we may wish that were so.

[SarahsSummer]

@the_rake LOL. You're funny.

[the_rake]

@SarahsSummer

I think what has happened is one of two possible circumstances. In the first case, you have realised that actually, you are not attracted to the sweet, well-mannered and intellectual guy that you have always thought you were. For this reason, you have gone into a state of denial and trying to brush me off as being humorous rather than accept fact. That is me giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you are actually quite nervous.

In the other case, you know full well what you, and other women, do but mentioning it compromises your personal ethic because it brings your own personally manipulative traits to the spotlight. In this situation you use this dismissive tactic of telling me I'm just being funny as a subtle ego-defence mechanism while hoping that anybody else who reads your comment will agree that I deserve to be ridiculed for my beliefs. In short, this situation is just further exemplifying the manipulative trait some women have.

[pavlove]

she's not worth it dude she's enjoying the attention you're giving her explaining yourself and your opinions to her she's not actually interested in having a conversation so just let her whine. she's probably not very attractive hence the bitterness

[the_rake]

@pavlove

Yeah I noticed from her oneliners, etc. she was using this as a tool to pedestal her own ego but I just wanted to dispel some of her more commonly held misconceptions about the alpha male so other people would have a chance to read.

[SarahsSummer]

Asker, you actually just gave me a full LOL.
☮boys play whatever games at bars and clubs you feel you need to.

[the_rake]

basically she says this because she knows it works on her and doesn't want to admit.

[SarahsSummer]

@the_rake I've had a steady boyfriend for over 2 years. I was drawn to him because he was the most confident guy in the room and he ignored any other guys advances on me. Although nobody tried to "tool" him. Or maybe we both just ignored those games and enjoyed getting to know each other. ☮❤️😊

[the_rake]

@SarahSummer

you don't have to make an active attempt to obstruct other guys. just sitting their showing your cool under pressure, regular breathing, holding eye-contact with anyone that moves into your path of vision, in general asserting your presence. you can 'do' loads of subtle stuff without even moving around. compare that to a guy who does nothing but also tells himself, "well fuck it's all gone to shit now because obviously she is going to go for that other guy". it's just about carrying the mindset op was talking about.

[SarahsSummer]

@the_rake You keep talking to me as if I'm a guy. A guy who cares about these games. Why? How bout this. Become the best person you can be. Successful at school, work, sports, art, music, whatever and let that success translate into your everyday body language and interactions in the world. Your breathing, eye contact and all the "subtle stuff" you are attempting to feign, will just come naturally. do that and I guarantee you won't have to play games with each other or the girls you are trying to get, score, land, win etc. can we be done now? Peace, love, happiness and success boys. ☮❤️😊👏

[pavlove]

@the_rake for the love of God man she is tooling YOU right now. Why? Because your goal is to convince her of something and her goal is to simply state that she's right over and over regardless of whatever you say. If you want to set an example for young male gaggers SHUT IT DOWN. IGNORE anyone with a crappy attitude. This is the point i was making with this Take is that it has nothing to do with logic... it's social dynamics. You have the superior logic but she is taking the ALPHA role right from under you because you're acting like her opinion matters.

[the_rake]

@pavlove

I also just like talking about this stuff :)

[jjmarvin]

Lol! Wow. It would take a special kind of salty no-lifer to do that to someone they have never met.

Oh and the fact that this adderall fueled mess was written by someone with an "editor" badge is laughable.

[AdamThomas]

Going for fat girls is a good way to never get tooled, plus they do more in bed cos they're more grateful.

[Jager66]

when some douchey guy acts like this I just ignore him, unless he press's the issue then I just leave, I stopped getting into fights in grade school.

[EpicFail]

Hmmm... Good my take wonder if some of these things would work on over confident women... I might have to try a few things.

🤔

[fiodor99]

What kind of hatful beta crap is that? can't you have game without hurting other men's game? Oh, and i'd love to see you trying to try these tactics on me and see if they work. Ha, i wouldn't flinch an eyebrow... .

[Vnmc4]

bs advice only good looks can save you in this and thats the truth

[redeyemindtricks]

Dude! Paragraph breaks! Line breaks! Lol

[pavlove]

trolling so early in the day, my love?

[IceEverest]

I won't be tooled by that..