This MyTake is obviously attacking the stereotypical self-proclaimed "Nice guys" and not real genuine nice Guys.
1) Victim mentality.
This victim mentality is a sign of weakness. Who wants to be with someone weak who blames all their problems on women and successful confident men?
Nice guys are constantly looking for a scapegoat, someone or something to blame their own lack of success in the dating-world on.
2) Lack of confidence.
We can all agree that lack of confidence is one of the biggest turn offs. Other than rage, anger and bitterness, insecurity and lack of confidence are what most Nice guys have to offer.
3) Bitterness towards women.
Nice guys hate confident women because a confident woman would probably not be interested in an insecure hateful boring man. Therefore they will try to do everything to break a woman’s self esteem .They want to make a woman believe she is just as ugly as they are so she won't leave him for someone in a better league.
Nice guy: Hey woman! Without make up you're ugly and after 25 you're ugly, so you should be thankful that a nice guy like me is giving you attention and willing to be with you! How dare you reject me?
Here are some things that many "nice guys" tend to say and seem to have in common from my internet and real life observations: - Women look ugly without/with Make up:
Most of the time, it's the least attractive guys who complain the most about makeup. They're most probably jealous of women being able to "fix themselves up" with make up while they (supposedly) can't do anything to fix their ugliness.
Hot Guys are confident enough to know that a woman who enhances her features (and therefore making herself more attractive) won't leave him for someone "better looking".
- Women are Rotten after their 20’s:
What else do most "Nice Guys" have in common? Shaming a woman because of her age. It's a very common strategy used by the self-proclaimed Nice Guys. They're the first to say that women after their 20's are unattractive and that once they pass the 25 years mark, they're past their prime and (therefore) should be choosing from the leftover men (aka, them, the nice guys). They believe that this tactic gives them more chances of scoring someone because a 33 years old woman shouldn't be expecting to date Nick Bateman but instead she should be thankful that a Nice guy gave her some attention because no other man would.
Even worse, unattractive older guys feel the most entitled to a younger "Hot girl" when they, themselves have nothing to brag about look-wise. Given the chance, "nice guys" would be the first to jump on a hot Milf.
- All women are gold diggers:
"Nice guys" usually are the loudest when it comes to voicing their hate towards marriage because "Women only get married so they can screw them over in a divorce and take their money" (chances are they don't even own enough money to really attract a real gold-digger) . "Nice guys" tend to have this very pessimistic idea of women and view them all as gold-diggers. Why can't they get a woman? Oh silly! It's Because women only like rich men of course!
4) They constantly hate on more successful and attractive guys instead of working on improving themselves.
This is very common with nice guys. They try to bring hotter men down by labeling them all as "Cheaters" and "Shallow" and "Jerks".
Guess what? Attractive, fit guys are not necessarily most likely to be cheaters. Many average or even below average men are cheaters, I see this everyday with the number of times my girlfriends have been screwed over by "Nice Guys". LOOKS AND FIDELITY ARE NOT CORRELATED.
Instead they want us to believe that Hot fit guys are cheaters and this is why us women (specially Hot women of course) should avoid them.
5) Nice guys aren’t really “Nice”
Let me put it this way. Expecting a woman to spread her legs for you and jump in your arms because you say "please and thank you" makes you an opportunistic jerk. This is called simple courtesy and guess what? Even guys you like to call jerks because they're more successful are "Nice" too! But unlike you they don't only rely on courtesy to get girls.
6) "Nice guy" became the new definition of a lazy man without ambitions.
Saying you’re a nice guy basically means you have nothing else to offer except for your “niceness”. No humor, no confidence, no looks, no career/money, no REAL LEGIT kindness and no ambitions.
If you're really nice and have an amazing personality you wouldn't need to constantly remind everyone that you're a Nice Guy.
This guy can be a nice guy...
.....This guy is a jerk.
7) Nice Guys are shallow.
The "Nice Guy" specimen is very shallow. He doesn't even lift and excepts to get the hottest of women. They're usually the ones to set the highest craziest standards for women and feel entitled on getting the Crème de la crème because they have the Oh so unique quality of being nice.
Listen honey, the dating world is competitive like any other world. Hot young women are more likely to be dating young hot men. So stop saying that women are shallow because they won't date you.
I'm not saying that this is a rigidly set rule and average looking people can't successfully date "out of their league" look-wise, but the "average looking" people who indeed date hotter people usually have some other interesting traits to offer, for example real genuine kindness.
(Ps: I'm not implying that Jesse William's wife is unattractive, I find her cute she's just not the stereotypical model type of Hot).
If a hot guy only wants to date a hot girl, at least he worked hard for it (By working out, working on his confidence, having a job,..) the hot girl he wants to date most likely tries to work on keeping herself good looking as-well so she can date the Hot guy. Hard working people deserve to date each-other.
Don't feel entitled to date a woman who works out, takes time to take care of the way she dresses and looks, works on her confidence.... if all you do is lay on your couch all day crying over your fate.
"What? Me? Dating someone who doesn't look like Jessica Alba? How dare you say that? I'm a Nice Guy! I should only date 8's and up!"
Real nice guys DON’T finish last, only bitter lazy, insecure hateful men do.
Thanks for reading, I know this is controversial and chances are I'll get back-lashed but #SorryNotSorry#ShotsFired
I don't agree, if that's the case, people blessed with the genetics would have to work just as hard as those who don't. Do you think a person with Idris Elba or Angeline Jolie type genetic looks will have to work as hard as someone with honey boo boo one's? Will they be able to command high standards if they don't fit even the average standards of beauty?
"they have to increase themselves to deliver equally high standards that they expect"
THAT is the key. Talk of "tiers" and "leagues" is so outrageous. I'm sorry, but if I had a choice between a quirky, geeky biologist, and some girl like Megan Fox, or especially the characters she plays, the choice to me is just too obvious. That biologist is probably an all-around better person in pretty much every way, and probably better-looking, yet guys hold Fox on a "higher tier". Because what... her proportions are some hollywood ideal? Because she is confident?
It is not about putting yourself and others in a "social rank" and then "submitting" and "falling in line" to some hierarchy.
There is only one philosophy: Don't ask of others what you don't ask of yourself. Simple as that.
I'd like to add that "nice guys" are like the epitome of narcissists since they think their ONLY "bad" quality is being nice. Oh sure honey, you're so perfect that it's your perfection that's making you not get any girls. Lmao. There's no chance in hell that it could be because of any other factors.
I think the first 5,000 nice guy takes will do Hun.
Look you generalize a lot about decent guys, yes of course there are those whiney guys who claim to be great but in the same turn you villainize a man for feeling self conscious and unattractive (which certain factors can't be helped by fitness, I lost my hair to shock when my father died so I'm bald now and no amount of fitness changes what girls think of me) yet then bash them for being disinterested in plain girls. That is a double standard as well. I disagree with the 'go out of their league' no it's not about what's equal, it's about who's attractive to you and you keep going for that period until one says yes, I personally wouldn't date a girl who was even average looking (partially because of what average has become weight wise in the U. S.) however my standards aren't too high, lookup Lindsey Stirling that's the kind of girl I date, small petite cute face etc. so I'm not overly picky but my point is no one should be chastised for having high standards as it's not sort settling on, also I've never heard guys get jealous so much as angry that attractive guys exploit women more, maybe because they have more opportunities to do so but regardless it does happen and we all know women say looks don't matter but are statistically just as superficial as men, not saying that's bad I'm saying guys are more honest about it. Also it does seem ridiculous you don't understand why guys who would truly give all to a beautiful girl feel upset that the guy who abuses them or lays around was born with good looks, don't say jealously is just the trait of men we all know different.
I'm not saying I'm a nice guy and I'm not sticking up for the annoying brats who pull the nice guy card, but GOOD MEN like myself who are honest and have high standards are tired of seeing this as well, it's a genetalization. We are able to have our high standards on a girls body and mind, even if we are bald, or a hunchback, we don't have to tell people how good we'd treat a girl because we KNOW how well we'd treat a girl. We aren't always the most attractive but we know what we stand for and that we don't accept less, there are nice guys out there like you describe but for the most part you and others over generalize those brats into actual good men and that does irk us especially after seeing tons of posts on it. it just makes you come off as complaint full as any one of the 'nice guy' brats you complain about.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
This is bulshit... well some of it maybe. You can't group all nice guys into this narcissistic stereotype. I'm a "nice" guy who girls have found attractive but I don't put myself out there as much as the more "asshole" guys as I'm kind've shy at first. I'm nice first off because it's just how I am. Second, I'm nice in particular to women because I respect them.
I am left bitter at times because many women (not all) go for legitimate asshole men and are always getting hurt and going from guy to guy to guy and always going for the same kindve guy. I end up being the friendzoned "shrink" they come and talk to but stop talking to me once they meet the next said asshole. Second, a lot of women have shallow standards. They want a guy with money and ohh a nice car. Or maybe into a guy that wears a particular clothing line. All this shouldn't matter or factor in at all but it does. Men aren't objects just like women aren't objects. Third, a lot of women play games and talk to and lead on men they don't even like. Then all of a sudden stop talking to them. And this is mainly to get attention. And that right there is narcissistic behavior.
So this is what I call the "mainstream" women out there but I don't mean all are like this. And contrary to this MyTake... for me, men that mistreat and abuse women gets me bitter above all. But still the women that go for and enable these types of men is ridiculous. Also, I think most women are beautiful with or without makeup and after age 25. Also, I have ambitions, goals, dreams, etc. I might not have the money and career yet but it's in the works. I'm not a computer nerd, I'm a muscular attractive guy other than maybe confidence issues which I'm working on. Everybody has their flaws and that's one of them for me.
Also, I don't feel owed anything for being nice like a girl should date me cause I'm nice. I hate people like that. All I feel owed is some respect and to not be taken for granted. There's not a lot of kind people in this world. And if a girl is not into me fine, nothing I can do about it. But it is frustrating if they choose a guy over you that just runs around them with other women.
From your description I don't see any legitimate reason why you would not find someone I'm pretty sure you will. Hence my introduction, I'm clearly pointing out that "nice guys" are not legit real nice guys. Most normal guys actually love real sweet nice guys.
The nice guys your talking about are the types of guys that go on a shooting rampage cause some girl turned them down. That's an extreme example but yeah that's what those guys turn into. Psychos. I'm nothing like that lol.
There's confident nice guys which is like the trophy man for a girl.
Then there's the innocent type which is more like me although I'm much more confident once I get to know someone. It's just a lot of women want to be swept off their feet and feel something right away and also a lot of women think the guy should do all the work. So all that works against me. So I don't stick out as much of the other guys. Most of the time the women I've dated have kindve "stumbled" apon me. But they haven't been quality women , I guess and end up leaving because they always say they don't deserve me and stuff lIke that. And that's what I've been told not what I think.
- Yes, I lack confidence, there is nothing I can do about it, there is no cure for that.
- I don't hate confident women, I actually prefer them, but they don't like me, though, I'm not bitter about it, cause I know I'm too ugly for them.
- I never shame women because of their age, it doesn't matter if she is 18, 25, or 39, if I like her, I'd never do anything to hurt her in any way.
- I don't consider all the women as "gold diggers".
- Sure, I don't like successful guys, but you girls also hate more successful girls, that's completely natural... women rivalry is even more fierce. Yep, not all the "hot guys" are "cheaters, shallow" and "jerks"... but lets' be fair, percentually - most of them are (because they can afford it - most women would still favor them, no matter what). Of course looks and fidelity are not correlated, it's true that average or even below average men are cheaters too, but those men are just jerks, it's a genetic trait I guess. Personally, I would never cheat, but I never had a chance to prove that, because I was never in a relationship. As for my body, I did try to improve myself, but the girls still disliked me, because of my lack of self-confidence and my shyness - I can't improve that.
- I was never opportunistic, I actually wanted to wait for the marriage, but all of my past loves were unrequited, that's how I ended up as a virgin in my late 30's, never been kissed, never been in a relationship.
- I have humor and kindness, but I lack self-confidence and I'm too shy. As for my looks, I don't like it, and obviously, girls don't like it either. I had ambitions, but they died out eventually, cause of all the bad luck in my life.
- As I said, I did lift before, for several years, but I had no success of any kind. Am I shallow for having standards? No, my standards are not "crazy high", besides, it's just natural selection, and if I'm so much undesirable for my type of girls, then I would rather be alone for the rest of my life, I never felt "entitled" to have happiness in my life, but I suppose I'm just an exception which proves the rule.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Right now, all over the world, millions of women are searching for a “good man.” Even after decades of effort on the part of the women’s liberation movement to empower women with the mantra, “I do not need a man,” they continue on this seemingly endless quest. The process to find a good man begins early by assuring little girls that they’ll “meet a good partner one day”. Indeed, they seem to intuitively understand that someone, someday, will take care of them for the rest of their lives. They are told, “When you’re married, you’ll be happy,” as they bask in dreams of a fancy wedding and a life with a perfect soul mate. He’ll be masculine, he’ll work hard and he’ll earn enough money to care for his woman and for her children. He will be strong, intelligent, healthy and courageous – all the while being by her side for protection and support. For men however, it is a different story. We don’t ask for much. We like our women to be attractive and have a job. We like them to enjoy sex, and we like them to provide us with companionship. What we don’t want is for them to try to change us. It is these dichotic extremes that lie at the root of the modern global gender liberation phenomenon. A dichotomy where women are driving good men away. The fact is that women and society at large have systematically stacked mountains of needs, obstacles and expectations in front of us men, challenging us to measure up to impossible standards of masculinity at every stage of our lives. Boys fend off schoolyard bullies, teenage males strut their stuff, and men feel compelled to protect females from even the slightest random belligerence. We are like cub scouts consigned to, among other things, helping little old ladies cross the street to earn our “real man” badge. For the most part, women’s, gender studies and society at large skirt around male suicide[iii] and other related issues. But this must stop. It is time to zero in on who – and what – is corralling men into the destructive confines of hegemonic masculinity. One obvious question is this: Where is the relentless demand for the “good man” coming from? In truth, this gender “policing” abomination is perpetrated by everyone, whether they are aware of it or not. It reflects a gynocentric society rife with the crumbling artifacts of institutionalized patriarchy. But that is not the whole story. Most of the time, those we love most – especially the women many of us spend our lives...
1
12 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
– place this straightjacket of idealized masculinity on us. They are a favorite object of love and desire and in return, they expect stereotypical masculine perfection. Many hold dear those things that will elevate partners to “good man” status. Our girlfriends, wives and significant others wield this power over us like a sword, or they leave us with hurdle after hurdle to jump over. Are women entitled to free meals, free vacations, and other forms of cash and prizes for agreeing to spend time with men? One day every young girl grows up and finds her true love, a good man, and an exclusive relationship ensues. The couple becomes entangled and sometimes will marry. Suddenly the man’s responsibilities and demands skyrocket. Some men undoubtedly love the challenges of manhood and they experience a certain male pride when they assume responsibility for looking after a woman for the rest of her life. But for others, the burden of living up...
.. to challenges of manhood and they experience a certain male pride when they assume responsibility for looking after a woman for the rest of her life. But for others, the burden of living up to an idealized version of manhood often leads to great stress and intense feelings of shame, anxiety, depression, and in extreme cases, suicide. These marital burdens have created an escape phenomena for many men. Women often try to control their man by slapping, hitting, and throwing him out of their homes. Oddly, society and even many men seem to approve of this abuse. In fact, some of us do not seem to care if loving a woman is dangerous. It seems that for many females, the fear of male domination echoes incessantly inside their heads. To dodge male authority, women go on the offensive and begin subjugating and manipulating men to ensure that they won’t be oppressed. They also try to hammer us into submission with their words...
.. They’ll say things like, “He’s a little boy who needs to grow up and act like a man.” They make us feel guilty and shame us with ridicule. Another common refrain is, “If you were a real man, you’d…”, along with other self-serving diatribes like, “If you love me you’d man-up, earn more and help me at home”. The woman’s weapon of choice is a sharp tongue. While the things they say might smack of moral authority and loving concern, they often cut deeper than physical violence. The intent is to strike at our inherent male core. Many women are experts at inflicting pain through words alone while others rely on tactics like bickering and nagging to stoke our insecurity even more. This has the potential to force even the most independent and self-assured of us to cower—or worse. As an example of how critical this issue has become, a 2014 study found that verbal abuse was often a catalyst for husband suicides. Our worst fear is being seen as something other than male.
.. as something other than male. We can be humiliated and devastated by any suggestion that, because of passivity or effeminacy, we might be like a woman. We live in perpetual anxiety about being considered weak, gay, unfit or “unmanly”; it is our Achilles’ heel. When women demand that we be a “real man,” our adrenaline spikes; when they shout, “Man-up!” we become agitated. When they undermine our masculinity, our pride is destroyed. And yet, women are the ones who are often afraid. They are so frightened by our powerful maleness that they command us to submit. But many women don’t seem to grasp the emasculating impact that their abuse can have. Lacking our biology, they cannot understand our emotions at their most primal level. They only see that we react and comply. They have no real understanding of the damage their reckless behavior can cause.
We should not have to succumb to the shackles placed on us by the women’s rights and social justice movements either. In theory, these hugely successful campaigns were intended to level the playing field between men and women. In reality however, many have been hijacked by extremists and then misinformed for nefarious purposes. While these hardline activists try to make their mission sound noble, their words often betray then, as evidenced by the popular media battle cries below: “R. E. S. P. E. C. T.”…“I am woman”…“Hear me roar”…“Ladies first”…“This is a woman’s world”…“Nobody can hold us down”…“She dominates all access”… “You don’t own me”…“We run this mutha”… “If you like it, put a ring on it”…“Who runs the world? GIRLS!” Over time, the drive for equality has been transformed into a crusade for female advantage and a strategy for imposing their worldview on men. Women have been given special rights and they’ve signed misguided legislation into law – legislation that benefits them...
... at our male expense. Many of these so-called women’s movements have devolved into full-fledged man-hating struggles for gender supremacy, inspiring a significant backlash. Unfortunately, our biological imperatives make things complicated and difficult. Even when women’s demands are entirely unreasonable, most of us will comply because we are motivated by powerful and instinctual urges, most notable of which is our male sex drive. It is still not clear why society views this as an acceptable form of coercion and something used for the purpose of harnessing masculinity’s unruly nature. Once our male sexual appetite is triggered, we kowtow into submission, potentially sacrificing our long-term health and financial wellbeing by clinging to the false belief that physical intimacy is our reward for being “good.” We are not just compelled to ‘save the women and children first’. In many respects, we have become “vagina beggars”. Like lemmings, we follow a dangerous...
.. dangerous and potentially disastrous course. We have become imprisoned, and women hold the key. As Bob Dylan once wrote, the times they are a-changin’. Years of submission to abusive treatment and acquiescing to unrealistic expectations have taken their toll, and many of us are starting to ask some very pointed questions. Do we deserve to be treated like workhorses? Are we supposed to sit back and become totally marginalized, similar to how males in certain matriarchal African villages were relegated by the female leadership to the lowest rungs of the social ladder?[ix] Will we become nothing more than “manginas,” capriciously and carelessly manipulated at the whims of our female overlords? For millions of us, the answer to those questions is a resounding “no!” Good men around the world have decided to go their own way, and like us, they understand that there is nothing wrong with men or...
... or masculinity. They understand that they do not need to be schooled by women nor do they need to be enslaved to the family with little reward. A tsunami of male sovereignty is sweeping across our planet and we are grabbing the sword of opportunity to enlighten ourselves. This growing movement of masculine awareness goes by many names—MGTOW, the Red Pill and Herbivore men. This new paradigm is helping us to understand our true selves, our unique assets and the techniques we can employ to end our toxic entanglements with women. We’re learning how to liberate ourselves from a primitive and self-destructive social order. We’re speaking out and helping to empower others to break free from the bonds of the biased relationship expectations of love, marriage and myopic monogamy – expectations that are enforced with female violence. Gloria Steinem recently asked on Real Time with Bill Maher, “What’s wrong with people using their talents and doing what they want?”
As men, we want that liberation as well. For many of us, this is a new and exciting environment, and it’s quickly changing for the better. It is a world where we can finally do what we want and work at the things that we love. It doesn’t matter whether we enjoy tinkering with automobiles, flying kites, dancing in a ballet, playing sports or prepping ourselves so that we may, by choice rather than compulsion, become leaders, inventors and creators. We seek to express and enjoy our innermost interests and talents, rather than toil endlessly in the pursuit of a life of inequality and lopsided relationships. We are realizing our right to define who we are, and we are choosing our higher purpose. As men, we are amazing; we have the qualities and drive to change the world. Only now, it is our own decision to make. No longer condemned to live a life dictated by women and their obsolete restrictions, we can shed the debilitating confines of social expectation and truly relish the fruits...
1) Victim mentality. Your point. I know I had some abusive people around me but I got stronger than them and changed my life long ago and I try not to show or tell others about that or annoy them with it. 2) Lack of confidence. Beeing whole time told that you are a shit/a failure/don't even manage to get a girlfriend or a girl laid doesn't help. 3) Bitterness towards women. I accept that women can chose their partner and I think many women look good - even without makeup. I know that most women aren't gold diggers. I don't need a Pamala Anderson, she just shouldn't have more than 100kg/200lb or a shitty personality. 4) They constantly hate on more successful and attractive guys instead of working on improving themselves. I hate that they are more successful but I don't hate them. So I look where they are more succesful than me and try to improve there as long as it isn't unethical or betray my believes (like treating women like crap). 5) Nice guys aren’t really “Nice” I too think that beeing nice/courtesy is a requirement to build a relationship but doesn't mean that the woman is required " to spread her legs for you" because of that. For that I will use other things. 6) "Nice guy" became the new definition of a lazy man without ambitions. I am told to have humor, be caring when someone is in need, some people wonder why I have had no girlfriend by my looks (alltough there is a big difference between me and Brad Pitt or the Chippen Dales or any famous movieactor), make more money than 60% in my area but no confidence because see 2. 7) Nice Guys are shallow. She just shouldn't have more than 100kg/200lb or a shitty personality and I know when someone is out of my league. Since I stopped training I only get 25 push ups (while training I would call 50 pushups a small part of a lazy workout warmup) but it is still more than many others I know manage. You know my success? "You are a nice guy and good friend but nothing more for me". I regularly hear how girlfriends compain about their boyfriends how they treat them since I seem to be a trusted party for them when they have problems. I noticed girls run for men with the following: hot money (at least for gold diggers) ready to treat them like crap (also known as an alpha guy) Since I don't show off with my money, don't look like a Hollywood star or want to treat them like crap and having not the highest self esteem, my girl/relationship count is still 0.
0
1 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
But the reason I wrote this was not for self pity but to show that nice guys (at least all) aren't like you wrote.
I agree with a lot of what you said here. But for the love of all that is holy. Do NOT miss the quotes around "nice guy".
A "nice guy" is not exactly a nice guy. That's what the quotes are for. Sarcasm.
We need to come up with a different term for these guys, and help redirect them. I cannot tell you the emotional struggle I dealt with in high school and early college that quite easily could have been avoided if someone just took the time to clarify things rather than sit back and call me a pathetic pile of rotten flesh. Hell, half of that could have been avoided if someone would have pointed out that "Nice Guy" is a term dripping in sarcasm.
OF COURSE girls like guys who are nice. Actual "good"ness is pretty much always a positive. Hell, the prototypical "Bad Boy" girls refer to is often a rebel with a heart of gold.
I think the spread of this issue is based around the spread of the "PUA" mentality. It is basically how to "get laid" by some chick at a bar without having to emotionally commit to anything. That basically means being so narcissistic that other narcissists can't resist you. Seriously. I have never dated a girl who liked what PUA's call an "alpha male". Do you know who does? The type of girl who values some sort of "confidence" or "social ranking" over being a good person. How laughable.
NEWSFLASH: You don't owe that type of girl anything. Being attractive to that type of girl is not some "high-status accomplishment". Girls can be bitter, damaged jerks, too. If she thinks you aren't a "real man", just accept the compliment of being rejected by the kind of girl who thinks she knows what a "real man" is.
Well this take is really cliche and overdone but I agree that if all you have to offer is niceness then you're delusional if you think thats enough.
"a hot guy only wants to date a hot girl, at least he worked hard for it (By working out, working on his confidence, having a job,..) the hot girl he wants to date most likely tries to work on keeping herself good looking as-well so she can date the Hot guy. Hard working people deserve to date each-other"
Well first I find it funny you admit that a guy needs to be physically fit, confident, and have a decent job to get a hot girl while the girl just needs to keep "herself good looking" to get the hot guy.
Anyways, I disagree. I don't think girls have to work that hard to be hot. Women with the most mass appeal are generally thin with soft curves. It's mostly genetic mixed with ocassional exercise. The ammount of effort the typical hot girl puts into her physique is nothing compared to the effort an equally hot guy had to put into his. Also faces play a huge role in attraction and those are like 80-90% genetic.
As far as confidence, social skills, and wealth are concerned, if you are attractive its easier to be confident and develop social skills, which also benefits you in your professional life. So its all linked back to genetics in my opinion. Sure you have to put in effort as you do with most things but genetics play a huge role.
But I have been hated just about everywhere I've ever gone.
Your ignorance will be your downfall.
Confidence is not the problem. Your lying, deceiving attitude toward men is the problem.
I was and am a better man than anyone you've ever known, and God himself will be my witness one day too.
None of you has ever wanted a damn thing to do with me, unless it was for me to solve your problems.
Hey lazy girl, just because I don't make as much money as other guys, doesn't mean I haven't KILLED MYSELF TRYING.
Hey lazy girl, just because I have always been nicer to women than they have ever been to me, doesn't make me weak.
You'd rather a drunk, or a brawler than a thinker, and if he got in a fight with me, I'd drop him like a bad habit, and rebuke YOU to your face for not leaving him sooner.
This "nice guy" wishes I could catch one of your evil son of a bitch boyfriends abusing you, WHICH YOU GO BACK TO LATER, and I'd rip his eyes out with my own bare hands.
But that doesn't matter to you. The number one thing you check on a man's profile is his income, and the last thing you check on his profile is his income too.
I could make a list why, "Seven reasons women who fall for drunks and players aren't worth a damn," but I love you more than that, and you don't give a damn anyway.
By the way, some people are "shy" because they have clinical depression and anxiety, and being rejected by fools like you repeatedly doesn't help, nor does a pill give a man some kind of super-social skills, but you are a fool after all, and one day you will find yourself in a fall too.
As I said on my own thread, women and employers have some things in common; they think a man owes them everything, and they'll can the man at any time for any reason or no reason at all.
It's common to believe that the "nice guy" genre that you described. Is truly in alignment with your definition, and from a females perspective. I can understand as to why you came to that conclusion.
Now, I may be off on my thinking, but my perception of why some men who classify themselves as false nice guys. Are men who usually are below average looking, shy, and have seen men who are players, assholes, and manipulators. Take some of the most beautiful women and treat them horridly, but get what they want. They from there inhibit the traits to which you've spoken of and become jaded. Leading towards further despair... yada yada.
I myself grew up and watched women in high school, college, bars, and every day life. Be treated extremely poorly by men who use and abuse them (not physically) and threw them to the curb once they're done. This strained my desires as I wanted to be noticed by such said girls, but couldn't bring myself to treating a woman that way. So, I worked upon myself and strengthened my weaknesses.
The ending conclusion led me to getting my wife, but it took some time and realization that it does take time to aim high and to get what you want. Instant gratification with women is to put yourself above them. For the terms of a successful long term relationship. Taking time to be willing to see them as an equal and be willing to allow yourself to sharpen the edges of your weaknesses, and make yourself better than you once were.
The My Take is way off target, but I am so tired of dealing with entitlement princesses that I cannot be bothered answering the points in detail. Yes, there are men as described by the author of the My Take, but not many. During my teens and 20s I could almost not get a date, not because I was a beta loser, but because most females in that age range wanted oily nightclub players or some version of the sociopathic bad boy. About the age of 30 I abandoned the project and walked away. Then, a strange thing happened. After I stopped asking women out, or displaying interest in females in any way, women began to hit on me. By the age of 35 women were asking me on dates, or propositioning me for sex. That is still going on, even at my somewhat advanced age. It seems that wherever I go women in my age range go out of their way to introduce themselves to me. From time to time, one will be forward enough to ask me for my mobile telephone number, or email address. My level of interest was and remains less than zero. They can go back to the bad boy in welfare housing who made them tingle in their panties when they were 20. I was not 'fun' enough for them then, they are not good enough for me now.
Lol, I'm right there with you. I haven't gotten to the point where girls are asking me out yet, but when I do, I will completely disregard them since they didn't think I was good enough for them until they were no longer good enough for their dream guy. I've worked too hard to be the best I can be to be with some woman that would never have considered me in her prime.
This is actually enforcing the idea thar all attractive successful men are jerks. It's not true. Most women are attracted to nice guys. Nice intersting guys.
Definitely not saying that all attractive successful men are jerks. In fact most of my friends are attractive successful men and they are wonderful people. What I am saying is that I'm not going to be the low hanging fruit for a girl that would never consider me until her looks fade.
@idiotmanchild Indeed. I am not going to take a 50 per cent risk (the current divorce rate) that one of those former nightclub party princesses will marry me, then divorce me and use the Family Court to steal everything that I own. When forming a relationship with a woman carries a 50/50 risk of utter destruction, it is not a rational act to become involved in that sort of relationship. When I was younger I had a good media career, a reserve commission in the army and was a dedicated student of karate. I still have two of those three. The army had to go after I hurt my back in an unfortunate parachute landing. I was and remain a long way from the stereotype of the beta male. I was stable, worked hard and dependable. That is the polar opposite of what young women find exciting. They want unpredictable, unreliable bad boys, because they find that sort of male to be more exciting. After they hit the wall, about age 30, they look around and ask where did all the good men go.
Exactly. I've done everything right, be a rising star analyst at a global corporation, stay in great shape, be funny and interesting. If that's not enough now while I'm still in my 20s, then fuck it. I'm not gonna wait until they come crawling after all the great guys who happen to be attractive are married off already.
Well, you heard the woman, guys. Drop any pretense of being nice and embrace the Dark Triad. Don't know what that is? Fear not! Rock Steakface has got you covered!
The Dark Triad describes three traits: machiavellianism (manipulative attitude), narcissism (excessively high opinion of oneself) and psychopathy (lack of empathy - although this is technically called sociopathy in modern psychological terms). In other words, don't be afraid to lie/cheat/steal, be as arrogant as possible and learn to give no fucks about it. If it sounds evil, you're not Dark Triading correctly.
Don't take my word for it, though! Ask your local drug dealer how much the *COUGH* "ladies" respond to him and his general psychotic behavior. Ask Harley why she returns to the Joker time and again. You all know of at least one woman who repeatedly goes back to an abusive relationship when there is a "nice guy" willing to treat her with some dignity. DON'T BE THAT GUY. Let her go and practice your newfound Dark Triad skill set on a fresh target.
Or if you have a conscience that refuses to die no matter how much you smother it to death, just skip the whole thing and do something that actually makes you happy. They're both fine choices.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I'm a former "nice guy" and I see your points. However I'm also a former pro mma fighter, I did fitness modeling and I was in a few B movies (extra). I now make a six digit income and am dating an extremely beautiful girlfriend who absolutely loves everything about me (especially sex). In fact I have slept with over 35 women in my life. I'm old enough to realize this isn't something to brag about anymore. However I just wanted to make a point.
Despite my recent success my earlier years where an absolute struggle (borderline suicidal). Truth is nice guys aren't going to snap out of it instantly. Our culture shames them, beats them down, tells them they are unworthy doormats. Since they are hetero western men... they are supposed to be "priveleged" and they have no one to blame but themselves. Truth is these guys might have been raised by domineering mothers (I know I was), had poor role models as fathers, had bullying issues, body issues, etc. They KNOW that nobody likes nice guys. They KNOW they have to change. However NOBODY gives them help. They just tear them down more and more and more. This might work for some guys, but many guys will only get worse. Yes nobody likes the victim complex. But do you really believe a take like this will change them instantly?
Instead of rubbing the salt in the wound why don't you provide something constructive. How about "yes you are nice guy, your dating life sucks... but this can help you change". First rule is BELIEVE in yourself. Recommend books. I really liked "no more mr. nice guy" and corey wayne's "3 percent man".
Anyway I found out I can still be a "nice guy" but get laid. I just need to know where to draw line with women. When I feel like I'm getting taken advantage of I just leave chics. I learn not to care. I learn to be too available. I learn to put myself first. However nobody ever taught me this. I had to find out the hard way. I hope other "nice" guys out there had more support to toughen up.
@Bluemax I am going to. Just a thought. Imagine if that the word "nice guy" was replaced by "nice girl" throughout this entire insulting take. People would scream sexism and "oppression" of women. A GAG moderator would probably delete it.
When would you say your life started changing for the better, when you weren't a "nice guy" anymore, or at least shedding that nice guy image. Late twenties for example or early thirties.
@Oram52 I'm still a "nice guy" but I learned where to draw the line. I also learned to cut out negative people or bad situations that where harming my life (this includes extended family). I would say late 20s. However you don't need to wait that long. I'm going to write a full take.
Again I'm still not perfect but I've definitely improved.
"Hey, you know what hasn't been said and done to death since 2011? The nice guy meme, why don't I make ANOTHER self-indulgent write-up on it where I stroke my ego because I'm a strong woman! I'm under 30 and can only think about sex and relationships! Social media! Yes!"
I'm serious, what cretinous pieces of shit are you even hanging out with that genuinely act and think this way? And I don't just mean confused outliers or dudes who did things you just didn't improve of, I mean 100% believes: "I'm nice, therefore I deserve sex"? What country could you imagine this person living in with a viewpoint like this? Saudi Arabia, maybe?
Some of the people on this site just lead such wildly different lives to myself, apparently. Or maybe you're just so disconnected from reality as a whole that you think this is more common than it is. OR maybe you go out looking for this sort of thing to piss yourself off, I really don't know, but it feels like getting kicked in the head by a horse repeatedly. I feel so fucking sorry for men who are in their 20's, right now, imagine dating women who write things like this.
1) 2) Lack of confident - Are you trying to say that a guy can not be nice and confident? 3) Bitterness towards women - You think all nice guys hate confident successful women. Does it mean nice guys want unsuccessful unconfident women? You are basically saying that all nice guys do not like how a women looks naturally. My girlfriend barely wears make up and when she does it is for special occasions ( date night, weddings, new years etc) I love how she looks naturally and let her know that everyday. She is 13 years older than me. 4) They constantly hate on more successful and attractive guys instead of working on improving themselves - Are you saying the ones who try to improve themselves are not nice? 5) Nice guys aren't really "Nice" - If nice guys aren't nice then over all they weren't nice to begin with. 6) "Nice guy" became the new definition of a lazy man without ambitions - you are saying when a guy says he is a nice guy then he has no humor, no confidence, no looks, no career/money, no real legit kindness and no ambitions. What are guys called you have those things. 7)
I hot the submit too soon 1) Victim mentality - A lot of nice guys are the opposite of it 7) Nice guys are shallow - are you saying if a guy lifts he can not be a nice guy?
story time: when I was in a co-ed boarding school, I had a guy friend and we were pretty close, and I starting noticing he has a crush on me, and then one day he finally asked me out, I got freaked out because it was the first time someone asked me out in years lol. then I tried to explain I liked us as friends, and I don't want a boyfriend at the moment. then a few hours later, I was going to sleep, when suddenly I hear screaming and crying from the hallway, I know it's him but I choose to ignore it and just go to sleep because 1) I'm tired as fuck 2) he's a bit of a drama queen. then my friend wakes me up and explains to me he's really sad because apparently I'm the love of his life (psa we were both 15) and she told me I have to get up and talk to him /right now/ because apparently he's too upset.
"nice guys" are just toddlers in the body of a grown man, someone told you 'no'? throw a tantrum and act like it's the person's fault!
Lol it would be a lie if I did not admit to meeting at least a few of those things. But to be fair, I have actually encouraged "nice" guys to better themselves in my own Takes and criticized them for blaming their lack of affirmative action on others. I also have a 4.0 GPA and am working toward my ambitions. One thing I agree with is that being nice does not entitle you to sex, though one thing I find very unfair and downright evil about many women is the way they will deliberately have sex only with guys who are not nice, while choosing not to have it with the guys who are genuinely nice to them.
Yeah, women are pure evil for having their own preferences when it comes to sex and not rewarding nice guys with sex. Newsflash, it's not "unfair", they're free to have sex with whoever they want, and reject whoever they want. That's life.
I have seen your responses on this site for some time now Sarra, i noticed a huge change in your responses since when you first joined. I know deep inside you there is a girl who wants a gentleman at her side to be your equal. I think you are one awesome girl, but if i may be blunt and tell you as i see it... writing these takes is just a justification for your own mind Sarra and you have listened to the crap many women write on this site. Your take only represents a tiny part of the population. My advice, get up and go find that guy that you want, he is out there and sometimes we go through the thorns to get to the ones that really love us. Please Sarra, there are good men, they are not perfect, but good enough. I'm happy that you will leave this site because it can pollute and distort reality.
Please continue being the sweet girl you have always been, and trust me, there are good men. I wish you all the luck.
Sarra, it doesn't matter now. As my last piece of advice, follow your heart, it won't let you down. Have faith that he will be with you. My love and best wishes for your family.
"True Love is the only thing worth chasing in life"
It's sad that now describing a guy as nice is seen as a negative thing. It's also sad that now describing yourself as a nice guy is seen as fake and automatically assumed that you're just another loser that isn't really a nice guy.
Anyways, I do agree that fake nice guys will always finish last, cause they're basically wolves disguised as sheep. If bad guys are bad, bad guys lying about being nice is even worse.
By the way, I disagree with the "hot guys are ok with makeup" cause I bet everything I have that a hot guy won't date an ugly chick that looks good with makeup. If you're ugly without makeup, it doesn't matter how good you look with it, no hot guy is gonna be with you. Hot guys are ok with makeup if those girls are still hot without it, cause in the end, you're gonna see that girl without makeup more often than with, so you want her to be attractive 24/7.
Yeah, these ''nice'' guys. The reason they fail is because they underestimate us. You have put it quite well. Many are passive agressive, bitchy types. No woman wants to be around a dude like that. On one side we have these fake nice guys and on the other scumbag fuckboys. Only a small number of men fall into the category of good men WE ALL WANT.
Perhaps I have been a little mean in my previous comment :D I have a mean humour, sorry Jayson. On a serious note, you could be right. But we live and we learn right. I respect good, trustworthy men. They know how to disarm my inner bitch :D
Wow what a load of absolute crap. The only redeeming line is "Real nice guys DON’T finish last, only bitter lazy, insecure hateful men do." Maybe do your mytake on that instead of spending the entire time bashing nice guys and saying the EXACT OPPOSITE of that line.
I for one am sick and tired of women bashing nice guys, if a guy says he is nice, but it turns out he isn't than you don't hate nice guys you hate LIARS.
Just like if a guy says he is single, and it turns out he is married, do you turn around and bash married men? NO! You say you hate lairs who lie about being single. You need to apply that same truth to nice guys and liars!
Most Helpful Opinions