Don't Be "Alpha," Just Be a MAN

IsraelJordan

I wasn't going to make a myTake on this because I'm sure there have been plenty before, but GAG is seriously starting to piss me off with all this talk about being an "Alpha Male". It's stupid and it's giving guys unrealistic goals, thus making them miserable for trying to be something they are not.

Don't Be "Alpha," Just Be a MAN

Look, you will never be alpha enough. Let's get it out of the way now. You will never become the stoically handsome, aloof commander of women. The image that you have in your head of the guy that will always succeed in everything, that will always have all the female attention, has got to go. It's not real and it's making you feel like shit.

Don't Be "Alpha," Just Be a MAN

What really is an alpha male? We all seem to agree that it means the best men, the ones who stand out among the oceans of anonymous dudes in their graphic T-shirts and jeans. We all know Alpha means those who excel. We all want to be one of those guys. At least most of us do. We desire to stand out somehow from the vast droves of mediocrity. If that’s you, you’re on the right track.

Don't Be "Alpha," Just Be a MAN

BUT.... Carrying some kind of James bond image in our heads of being "Alpha" is the wrong way to go about the whole thing. Too many men who are, at least, awake enough to think about these issues (a minority, I admit), spend their time seeking to live up to an image. The pictures in their heads typically derive from some actor they see on TV or from their own fantasies.

Don't Be "Alpha," Just Be a MAN

The idea of becoming "Alpha" Is self defeating because it is all about perception. Guys end up trying to seem Alpha, to appropriate whatever they believe to be its external markings. They look around to see how they’re doing, appraising every other dude’s level of Alpha. The end result is guys claiming to be self-possessed, independent Alpha males who are, in fact, obsessed with comparing themselves to others.

Don't Be "Alpha," Just Be a MAN

Real Alpha, whatever it is, must arise from the inside. Of course, men can self-consciously adopt new, more "Alpha-ish" attitudes and behaviors, but unless those can be integrated into some already present internal reality, they aren’t going to stick. When these attempts fail, those failures roll back on men as self-recrimination and shame.

Don't Be "Alpha," Just Be a MAN

Stop trying to become alpha. Start trying to become a man. The real fulfillment of a man’s soul comes from maturing physically, spiritually, and emotionally. And, unlike "Alpha-ness", masculinity is a little easier to obtain. instead of worrying about whether you’re "Alpha" enough, just start trying to be the most well-developed, fulfilled version of you possible. Unlike "Alpha male status", the seeds of masculinity are inside us all.

Don't Be "Alpha," Just Be a MAN
Men aren’t always looking around to check women’s responses to them. They aren’t keeping track to see if some other guy is getting more attention. Have some goals and meet them. Let other people play their own games.

Don't Be "Alpha," Just Be a MAN

Take responsibility for yourself. Stop saying there are no quality women out there. Stop blaming others for your loneliness, for your shortcomings. Look around for opportunities to create value for yourself and others. Just doing this will draw people, including attractive women, your way.

Don't Be "Alpha," Just Be a MAN

Have some goals and pursue them through adversity. That’s what mature men do. When you come out on the other side, act like it was easy, just for effect. Build you life. Build your family. Build your legacy. Follow these basic rules and the "alpha" thing will take care of itself.

Don't Be "Alpha," Just Be a MAN
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