What Women Really Mean

[AshleyL]

Guys, I know you have been puzzled by the opposite sex and by no means do we make it easy for you.

We say one thing, we mean another. We rarely ever say just what we mean. We only expect you to read our minds, what's wrong with that?

Well, in case you're not a mind reader, here is a little help for you on your journey to understanding women. First things first, if you think you understand what we mean when we say certain phrases, you probably don't. If you think we mean one thing, we usually mean another. Here are six great examples for you.

When a girl says:

1. I'm fine:

Guys this is a red flag for you. If a girl responds to one of your questions, with an "I'm fine", I can almost guarantee you she is not. If we say this, we are more than likely pissed at you for something you probably don't even know you did. WE ARE NOT FINE and you better be careful. This typically means we are unhappy and looking to beat your ass. Okay, well maybe not this severe, but really, you still need to watch out. Your best bet is to try and talk it out with us until we crack and tell you what's on our mind. Otherwise, we will go to bed angry and wake up angry the next morning.

Whatever you do, do NOT leave us alone. Keep this in mind. We're just weird like that.

2. Leave me alone:

Now this one is tricky, because when we tell someone to leave us alone, nine times out of ten, we want you to do the opposite. Why do we do this? Hell, I don't know, we're women, we're just weird like that. Whatever you do, do not leave us alone. Again, this probably means something is wrong and we either need to talk it out with you or need your comfort. Leave me alone means, please don't leave me alone. Keep this in mind.

3. I like you:

While this sounds like an easy statement to comprehend, it really interprets to I'm still feeling you out. I would say, for me anyway, saying I like you doesn't mean I'm ready for a commitment, it means I still need to get to know you better. Good thing here is you're on our good side and we're thinking of giving you a chance. We like you as a person and are trying to figure out if we like you as more. If you hear this phrase, you should give yourself a pat on the back.

What women really mean!

4. Will you do this for me:

Guys, just because this is phrased like a question, do not be deceived. We are not offering you an option here. When we ask you to do something for us, we mean you better do it, not you get a choice. Your best bet is to do what we ask to make us happy. I know this seems a little crazy, but like I said before, we're women, sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to the madness. If you choose not to do something we ask you for, please refer back to #1.

5. I'm not ready for a commitment:

Guys, we're women; we are always ready for commitment, unless we fall into the rare breed that aren't interested in getting married and having children. If we say this, you can read it as we are not ready to commit to YOU. There is something we are still trying to figure out about you and that is keeping us from wanting to commit. Don't give up hope though; you can change our minds on this one with some time.

6. I think you're adorable:

Guys, this is your kiss of death. Saying we think you are adorable means we think of you as just a friend. Accept the inevitable; it's not going to work out. We are thinking of you like our brother and Lord knows we don't want to have a relationship with our brother, well unless we fall into that odd category again. It's very hard to get out of this category but with the right amount of effort you could be one of the lucky ones.

Hopefully you find this information useful in understanding your women. I know it's hard but understanding what we mean when we say certain things can be a big payoff in the end. Being able to understand what we are looking for will only make us love you more. Not to mention, knowing all this information will make you more marketable in the dating scene. It's rare to find a guy who just gets it. Good luck guys!

[xLuana]

Here's what I think

1) True most of the time, I actually had the roles reversed once lol where the guy was the one who said "I'm fine" and didn't meant it but yeah... I've never been in this situation so I've never done the I'm fine thing lol

2) Yep, true

3) Where I live, "like" usually just means friends

4) I disagree with this one, I would never force him into doing something that would be horrible!

5) Never been in that situation

6) I disagree with this one as well, for me it means adorable

[WeaponZero]

Maybe I'm the one in the minority here, but I honestly couldn't put up with a woman who played these kinds of mind games with me. My philosophy is this: My girlfriend has a job, and that job is to help me cope with the stresses of daily life. If she chooses to be a part of the problem by playing these mind games, rather than a part of the solution, then I'll have no problems kicking her to the curb. That's why my dad left my mom, cause she was a drama queen who played mind games.

[crazy8000]

You aren't alone.

Here doesn't they get away with their childish nonsense.

[Twalli]

They're not trying to play mind games, it's just the way they communicate. Trust me, my sister is just like that, minus the fact she's kind of a slut (meaning she'll have sex with almost anyone) when she is single.

She is not currently single, I will not send/post pictures, I will not tell you where she live. So don't ask.

[crazy8000]

@Twalli

Hope you realize it's a choice the person chooses to be.

Still immature games and unatractive.

[Hurlyburly]

1. Not true for me. When I'm upset I only hide it if it's really something I do not want to talk about. Being an introvert I more often than not want to make up some things with myself instead of others. Plus, my relaxed face kind of looks as if I'd be bored or sad. Therefore most times my boyfriend asks if everything is fine it really is and I might even get annoyed if he doesn't believe me.
2. I do really want to be left alone when I'm sad. I can calm myself down better than anyone else could. If my boyfriend tries to comfort me it only upsets me even more because I start to feel guilty for making him feel bad.
3. I only say "I like you" when I REALLY like someone. Be it my bestfriend or my boyfriend. I use it quite often in my relationship because I'm afraid that the phrase "I love you" loses its meaning when said too often.
4. Okay, that's true xD especially during my pms I might get mad when the answer is no, at least if it's given without explanation
5. Never said that. Could be true.
6. And again, that's something I'd only say to someone I really really like. I do not throw compliments around like confetti unless I'm in love.

[Felinegirl]

This depends largely on the situation.
1. I'm fine - ask on. 'Are you really fine?' 'what makes you feel just fine instead of great?'. She'll feel appreciated, even if she really is fine.

2. Leave me alone - this can ONLY mean the opposite if you're already in some sort of relationship. If I tell a guy in a bar to leave me alone, I just really want him to leave me alone please.
I've been raped once by a former friends with benefits, because he thought no meant yes. Because I said yes in the past, I couldn't really mean no in the present right?
So when a girl tells you to leave her alone, you can ask if she really wants you to go, but by all means be careful.

3. Yep.

4. Depends. We might be kindly ordering, or we might actually be asking. If your wife says 'will you bring our kid to school today?' it's an order. If a girl you're dating says 'will you come to my damce performance?' she's hoping for a yes, but you're free to say you can't come. It depends on the question.

5. Yep. Don't hope too much though, you might get hurt.

6. Not true! Girls can say all kinds of things that sound like a death trap, when they are trying to hide their own feelings. The only real kisses of death are sayings like 'you are like a brother to me' and her telling you about other guys she likes.
Exception: If you flirt with her quite obviously, like calling her beautiful or saying you feel a connection or you miss her or anything, replies like 'you're adorable' are a kiss of death.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

This is very problematic.

Regardless of it's it's prevalent or even true, this behaviour is disrespectful. Being direct is obviously better, but even being consistent would at least be something; if "I'm fine" meant the opposite in specific contexts well that would still be not great, but at least it would be consistent. The reality is that you never know and "I'm fine" and meaning it sounds exactly the same as "I'm fine" and not meaning it and there's no way to be sure of the difference.

I think it's very much wrong to facilitate this bad behaviour by trying to understand it. We should be advocating for the use of direct communication instead of allowing women to occupy the extremes of literal and hidden meanings as well as the in between and alternating between them unpredictably.

In all seriousness with no animosity present, I pose this question to the collective female mind, how am I as a guy mean to proceed here?
Can any of you honestly give me an answer other than "you should listen to me, not her, when I tell you want something means"?

[AllThatSweetJazz]

*if it's prevalent

[CarpetDenim]

Don’t listen to any of this bullshit and stay far away from girls that try and play with your head and pull these tricks over on you.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

I know some girls give mixed messages. Say one thing when they mean another. We know you are like this. This happens especially when you are insecure, like when we say we are going out with a female friend, or when we hurted you and you want us to know what we did. We get it that if we figure out what you want us to do and do it it shows we care and know you well. But what about what we want? Why the hell can't I go out with my friend? Why do I need to read your mind and discover what we did wrong?

Look, if we realise that you have that tone, you know what the tone is, we are going to act carefully, but this must be done out of love for you not fear of the consequences! We must do it because we know you and care for you. So if we feel you are not being fair or we really don't realise what we did and still you explode on us, sorry honey but I am going to explode back. I love you I care and tried my best to not hurt you. But what is fair is fair. If I need to be more sensible to your feelings you need to be more verbal about them.

[CarpetDenim]

Oh God. Speak for yourself. If I say I’m fine, that means I’m fine. If I tell someone to leave me alone, that means I want them to fuck off and leave me alone. If I tell a guy I like him, it means I like him. It’s not an indication he’s still got a while to go before he wins me over, it’s just a spoken way of expressing my affection for him. The fourth one is sort of applicable to me, but I’d never actually demand he do something, I’m not gonna get all pissy with him if he doesn’t. I would never tell a guy I’m not ready for commitment, because I am, if I don’t want to commit TO HIM, I’d tell him straight up, “yo, I don’t like you, I’m not interested.” And if I ever tell a guy I think he’s cute or adorable, I mean it. It doesn’t mean I don’t consider him as a romantic option. If I only thought of him as a friend, there’s no way I’d be going and getting his hopes up by praising his appearance or whatever bullshit. If this is how most women are then I see why so many men hate them lmao.

[tonicandgin]

Amen to that.

[lightbulb27]

Great points, yes!! It's easier to understand when one realizes females are emotional.
2. Leave me alone - no wonder MGTOW:) Yea, largely true... some introverts I'd think need space, others, essential to stand ground and dominate and help regain emotional control. I learned that...
4. Do this please -I disagree. If you do what she says all the time, man can lower his position. Shame me, but he has to be the man. It's a gentle balance. He does need to take care of what is annoying her, ut he needs to maintain dominance imho. Failure to do so, she gets her stuff done she wants but strangely looses attraction and can't undersatnd why... and it's because he feels like a controlled subordinate. there's ways to handle it...
5. not ready for commitment - I'd almost translate this as I'm not interested and exploring other options.
6. I wouldn't have known that... wonder if universal. Haven't heard it, so no context.

[Spawnface]

This is probably one reason why romance was invented, or the practice of it. It's generally the only method to counteract these confusions. It takes any given problem and transforms it into a redeeming theatrical show. It guides otherwise, silly and illogical circumstances back into something that can be worked with and something that makes the crazy look like a desirable part of the performance by making the problem appear to be nothing more than a phase to something really great. Romance must have been invented so that men can deal with women in their own world while still having access to the tools of their own.

[9teen]

The reason why many women use different sentences with a different meaning is that they're passive in their behavior which is directly connected to their submissive nature. Although it's confusing for the man, because men say everything assertively directly without a different meaning since their nature is dominant, women don't think twice about it. It happens naturally and they expect the man to get the hint. In fact they think the man has hidden meanings in what he says too although that's not true. It's beautiful to see how different women and men are even in just conversing. Many misunderstandings which leads to small arguments are caused by this though which is unfortunate but at the same time strengthens the romantical bond between a man and a woman.

[Grayout]

How does it strengthen the bond? Wouldn't it cause more strain over time?

[9teen]

That depends but in most cases it strengthens. If a man or woman never tried to understand their partner and how they are in certain situations, it would cause strain. If a man or woman tried to understand their partner and when it happens they remember it's not the way it is or they have to be direct, it may cause the other to be happy because the other is trying for them. They care. It's about effort, whether one tries to help and understand. There are so many differences between the male and the female, a couple that is trying to understand the difference between them, makes only the bond stronger.

[tonicandgin]

Wtf! I'm submissive to the point of being a doormat and i still mean what i say

[Unit1]

1. So what if there is actually nothing wrong, what will you say? "I'm miserable"? Get out with that scheiß. That is not my problem. Red alert indeed!
2. Nein. Say what you mean. I'm not going to be present when you don't want me to.
3. It is good to know, that a woman *likes* me.
4. Depends what the favor is.
5. OK. NEXT LADY!
6. I'll take my chances. Don't like it? Say it. Resist. Reject. I will get the point in a second. No games.

It is just me but I do as you say. I do not care what you meant if it was not explicitly stated. Neither you nor anybody can override the dictionary. I am a "computer". Deal with it!
If it means being single until the day, that I die then so be it. My life will be an empire of my own and my friends either way.

[acubed25]

And this is why guys think girls are retarded and useless. Why can't you just say what you mean or shut the f*** up? If you need a hug say so don't tell them to get lost and then hope to high hell that they read in between the lines and come comfort you!! And then get mad when they don't!! Girls need to stop playing games and having these set standards, rules, misconceptions and twisted mind games and just BE REAL!! WTF is the point to any of that crap? Grow up!!!

[Journeyman11]

May the heavens protect you

[Exterminatore]

Good material. I’ll add a few more:

“It’s getting late” - means we aren’t going to have sex.

“I don’t care about money” - means I care about it a lot that’s why I mentioned it.

“Take your time / no rush” - means it ain’t gonna happen

“She’s curvy” - means she fat

“I have never felt this way about a man” - means I haven’t felt this way about a man this month.

“I’ll think about it” means not going to happen

“I’ll be ready in 10 min” means I’ll be ready in 2 hours

“I don’t have anything to wear” means I have 2 or 3 closets full of clothes.

Anyway, I like your material. Thanks for sharing.

[CarlZane]

This man is a genius.

[A-Soldiers-Wife07]

I can't agree with a lot of this. Pretty much, any women who gives this to a man to read is saying "Do as I want, and as I please always". Man if I ever showed this to my husband, he'd laugh!! There's probably only one of those that is half true with me. I like to let the person I'm in a relationship with know what's really going on with me. That's how the adult world does it anyways.

[Journeyman11]

How about you just stop being bottomlessly egocentric and selfish, and blaming EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING on men? Why is it the guys responsibility, to play these FUCKING games with her, just so she knows she has this kind of power over him? Why should guys put up with this bullshit? It's pathetic.

[Journeyman11]

You know it is. Just imagine a guy behaved like that. How ridiculous, how pathetic, how weak, how selfish, how childish he would be.
It's not ONE bit more pleasant when girls are like this. You just do it because you get away with it. Noone calls you out. Because all women SHARE your interests, and all guys have to shut up and put up with it, if they ever want to get laid.
Only because guys are addicted to pussy, and YOU have no qualms to exploit that, to confirm your ego over and over and over and over and over and over, and have guys do your little dance, and play your fucking games, is this how it is.
It's SO FUCKING DISGUSTING.
You know, I have no problem admitting that I feel deep disrespect for certain women. This is one of the things that is specific to female behavior that makes me detest them.

[Atomizer]

Interesting article. But thinking like this is a cop-out. Simply because women are often this way doesn't mean the behavior is justified. It's unfair to behave irrationally and expect other people to adjust to your whims. It's unrealistic to take decisions based on your emotions as if it's the only way of doing things. It's too easy to simply say "women are like this" and throw your hands up.

[Killfest400]

I agree with most of the comments on here.

Doing things like the article says is playing mind games. Whether "women are like that" or not, it's still creating drama and making everything more difficult. If you want your partner to take you seriously, don't do this stuff. He won't like it.

I personally made sure that my girlfriend knows that anything she says will be taken at face value. As such, we don't have these "mind game" issues.

Being a woman is no excuse.

[SmarmyMarsh]

My biggest pet peeve is when people refuse to accept "leave me alone" for what it is. When I say that, it means I'm going to get irrational and rip your face off if you stay in the room with me, and I know it. It means let me cool down so I can talk about whatever it is like a human and not a rabid badger.

Even if this is all true at some point in a woman's life, it's something that needs to stop once she's in a serious relationship. Good article.

[disfabioguise]

While growing up with two sisters and a mother I can see where you are coming from in everything you explained. I realized that the opposite of what a woman is telling you is usually what's REALLY going on. I also realized that I am a man and will always be the one getting into trouble for every little thing I do. I just accept that whatever I did whether I was really right or wrong, in women's eyes I'm always wrong. I also learned that I will never win the argument so I let them win and move on

[KERMlT]

I say what's on my mind which is hard for women in general to handle. I have told a woman that I disliked her haircut because it was so short she looked like a little boy. You say you want honesty until you hear bad news.

If she says she is fine, I take it at face value. That is my way of avoiding any possible issues. Women can understand men because most of us don't play these mind games.

[WeaponZero]

If she tells me she's fine, she's fine. If she tells me to leave her alone, I'll leave her alone. Being up front with someone about what's going on is a basic human courtesy. Your lover of all people should be willing to show you that courtesy. If she won't, then she's nothing but an immature brat in my eyes, and we'll both be that much happier when she finds herself waiting on the curb to be picked up alongside the trash come tuesday morning. Don't got time for kids' games in relationships

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

5 -- Guys mess up on this sometimes, sometimes girls will just say this when they want a commitment with you just to see how you react. Some guys will over react and get all angry and then everything ends, sometimes she really does mean this or sometimes, like you say you just need to play it cool and play your cards right.

6- I don't know about this, I've dated girls that thought I was adorable.