Yeah, that's right. I never heard it explained to me in those exact words but I know that's what happened. You might be saying to yourself, "I would never lose interest in a guy for paying too much attention to me" but I beg to differ. In this example, I felt like I was doing everything right with the woman in question and, early on, it worked. What happens though is that when we are overly attentive in the early phases of a relationship, the logic of being the nice guy can backfire.
The key from a guy's perspective is to remain consistent. What I mean is that if the guy you're initially attracted to is the consummate nice guy, attentive and all that, then he will likely need to remain that way as you start dating or you either will lose interest or see him as a fake.
Conversely, if a guy is initially appealing because he's funny, brash, mysterious, etc., then he'll have to maintain some element of this mysterious behavior or he will risk losing you. When the mysterious guy turns into the nice guy, what's your natural tendency? You lose interest. Guys who have experienced the ins and outs of the dating scene and learned from experience know that they must remain consistent with their approach or risk having you lose interest, not because we're not nice but because we're not as interesting as we used to be.
This is why many men will not pay as much attention to you as often as you think they should. We know that women love a good challenge. Take a guy who succumbs to your every wish and desire too easily - while it may seem like a dream come true at first, it will eventually put you to sleep with boredom. Whether you openly admit it or not, we know that a little lack of attentiveness, so long as it doesn't become excessive, will keep up that challenge that you love and will help maintain the attraction you felt when we first met.
Most Helpful Opinions