Why guys will disappear?

Just wondering why guys will disappear on a girl while they are dating? I can understand if they're no longer interested, but why pop back into the girls life later on? Sometimes several times. If you're no longer interested, isn't it the right thing to do to leave her alone and stop dragging her through hell by always reappearing and then disappearing again? Thanks guys!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Cuz some men are into more than, well, just you, all the time. When will you women get that you are mostly high maintenance, controlling, demanding, constantly jealous and can be very needy at times? ... especially the hot ones (the ones we want). You wear us out and we need a break. Some guys get that and aren't afraid of the petty threats, constant criticism and manipulation that women throw at us. It's not bad to do things without you just because you are over there whining and pouting. Men retreat. That's what we do. We need a break, occassionally from you, and the rest of the world's bs. Your way of recharging is gabbing with your friends. Our way of recharging is doing fun stuff...sometimes without you.

    • I understand a guys need to retreat for a few days, we all get overwhelemed sometimes. My question was directed at why a guy will completley disappear for weeks or months, with no explaination in the MIDDLE of a relationship. To me, if a guy does this, it indicates that he no longer wants to date you. If that's the case, I can deal with that. However I am wondering why he would REAPPEAR after such a long absense and just expect that the girl is going to be waiting for him with open arms?

    • I find it hard to understand myself why he would do that if you guys are together. Maybe if you guys broke up or needed a break. And that's possibly why he would disappear on you and needed his space. I can understand if you aren't together and he missed you and still loves you. I'd break up with him if he ever disappeared in a relationship because that is not a relationship anymore. The two of you have to work together.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Consider yourself to be a poisonous apple. We can only take so much before we have to go away to purge your influence. But then we are ready for more.

  • Because the odd established rule of...

    "women want what they can't have"

    so that's how some guys do it


What Girls Said 4

  • Sadly any guy who treats another with such a lack of respect clearly has emotional issues ie., he is irresponsible and immature and probably deeply insecure. There is no justification for being a deadbeat although some losers like to blame women which is lame and just exemplifies why these dudes have such unhealthy relationships. You don't need to flee like a chicken sh** when you need a break. That is pretty cowardly and embarrassing for the dude. And if you take him back that says a lot about your own level of neediness as you are giving him permission to do it again...good luck and you deserve better!

    • Well said!. Honesty is respected a lot more. Women can handle that much better than just disappearing. Yeah and men are supposed to be logical thinkers? So many are cowards. . .

    • I agree with you! I ve been going through this sh** with my man and sick and tired of it. Mine will disappear as soon as we have a small disagreement which shows that he gets frightened easily and that he is emotionally immature, like you said. He can t face a little confrontation and has a huge ego! When we are together, he makes me feel like a real princess, which is why I always took him back. Now, he has disappeared again (without a word again) and I m not taking him back this time! I'm done

  • Hi I really need help! I told my friend to go up to this guy that I like and she went up to him and asked if he was single. He said "yes" then he goes "why" then my friend told him that one of my friend has a crush on you then he goes what's her name 'ill say hi to her when I see her '. Well, I waited for like 3 days but he never showed up. Then I finally saw him he was with his friends talking then they all followed me inside the sky train he kept looking at me and checking me out and still he hasn't said hi me and now. But he seen me with a male friend that I was walking with and he just disappeared like I haven't seen him for 3 weeks could he be jealous or what?

  • hun I have no idea but when someone figures it out let me know

    the thing I would consider is the fact that you allow them to pull that act (probably because you want to be with them despite the crap) just make sure they are worth the trouble or you could be wasting a lot of time

  • i wish an intelligent man would finally put all this hot and cold business to an end and let us women know why.

    • I'm with you on this. it's a control thing. I love your comment. cause it makes it bad on the ones of us who really love and appreciate women, in and around our lives.

    • I love your comment too.. But when this guy vanished without a trace, I told him he better not come back because I'm not waiting lol. I emailed that to him =)