Girls and Guys: How do you comfort a crying guy?

[Anonymous]

Ok so If a guy is crying I dont know what to do. except promptly haul ass out of there. im not trying to be heartless I just dont know what to do. please help.

[Plato]

If I ever cry, I don't want anyone to acknowledge that I'm crying and I want to be left alone. The only person I think I'd ever let come near me if I was crying would be my girlfriend and even then, I'd have to love her, which is pretty hard for me to do. I don't have a girlfriend, but that's what I think, but I doubt I'd even let her get close to me if I'm crying.

I haven't cried in years. Usually, my reaction to anger or injury is to become increasingly angry until my face is red, then I could probably scare a whole crowd away from me by just staring. If I'm sad, I become morbid and nihilistic and I'll rip out any ounce of hope in anybody's naivety. I guess I forgot how to cry.

Sometimes I try to cry when I'm watching something that makes me feel nostalgic, but it doesn't work. I guess I've become stone cold.

[Blueeyes81]

Doesn't happen often. If someone was around I'd want to be left alone. No talking, no comforting, just need my space. So your reaction would suit me just fine.

[Plato]

I hate hugs. My experience has left me in a sort of besmirched feel for company. I communicate solely through ideas and topics, but not of feelings as often as I should. It's because I grew up with parents who they themselves didn't know how the fuck nourishment works - you don't simply feed someone, give him a bed and gifts and tell him to study. You've got to break up his life into divides and help him in all aspect. One such aspect was social life, I had to learn it on my own, but I did it the hard way.

So now, I just hate bodily contact with other persons and I don't often like to talk about my feelings. It's unhealthy, but I think a guy with a happier life would have loved to be caressed.

[Plato]

Replace feel with disgust. That was vague.

[DodgersGM]

If I'm beat to shit enough to the point of crying, then I'd want one of two things:

-just hug me, tell me it's okay, and don't say too too much. I usually don't want to talk much (if at all) in that moment, so soft encouraging words ("it's okay... it's okay") while hugging or physically comforting me are basically all I'd want or need.

or

-completely leave me alone.

I'm pretty easy to read, so I'll make it obvious if I just want some solitude.

[DodgersGM]

Thanks for MH. :-)

[Asker]

Thank you for the help!! :)

[WovenEclipse]

Oh dear. I know the pain of being crap at comforting someone xD Just hugs... really long hugs. You always feel like you need to say loads to them to make them feel better, but just hugs, and responding to whatever they say is comforting :D

[MayByesMayBno]

I usually held him and stroked his hair, and if he wanted he could tell me what was wrong and I would just listen to him.

[Creative_boss]

Hug, love, and just be there. If he needs advice give him what you know. Be gentle. Or just hug it out man

[Anonymous]

lol. I'm listening to a sad orchestral song as I was just reading this (off of the Call of Duty: Ghosts soundtrack). Typically, we just want to be left alone, unless, if like yesterday, they are tears of joy. I never actually had tears come out last night, but I was so happy that I wanted to

[luna33]

I can't see a man crying, in the beginning I may feel sympathy but after 10 mins Ill get mad at him for being weak. I can't stand that. I prefer not to see it and walk away. :(

[realerthanreal]

I think it's soooo cute when a guy cries and shows emotion. I would definitely be there for him and give him a shoulder or a boob to cry on lol.

[ManOnFire]

Just put your arm around him and just be there. That's usually enough. You don't even need to say anything.

[AlexAlexx]

If it were me, I'd like you to leave me alone, dont even acknowledge it.
But thats me..
If you're not sure, just ask him if there's anything you can do to cheer him up. Conversate.

[Anonymous]

The same way as a girl?

Just be cool, don't make a big deal out of it and offer support or a kind touch.

[finnishmann]

Maybe just give some tissues and say whats wrong. But if i would cry i feel like "f*ck off leave me alone".

[Blueeyes81]

It very rarely happens. But if it would occur, I'd want to be left alone. No talking, no hugging, no trying to comfort. I just want space.

[Anonymous]

This happens so rarely to me lol. Actually almost never. But the one time I remember it happening I rubbed his back and put my head on his shoulder.

[JoeDeMayo]

Be supportive. If your dating him or interested. And also if it's something worth crying about. And not about his feelings or whatever.