Guys, sometimes I feel my bf can't protect me?

[Anonymous]

So I've been with my bf roughly around 5 years. (On & off) we are trying to work it out. Just began hanging out again after 8 month break. He's always been nice& caring. I love that about him. But sometimes I wish he was more aggressive. When we go out to bars I feel like he can't protect me. One time when we were younger some guy grabbed my ass at a party and he didn't say anything to the guy. Which hurt my feelings. Recently we went out and some guy grabbed my ass & again he didn't do anything. It's like such a turn off. We've been together for so long. Why is he like that? Doesn't he care if someone disrespects me? Makes me want to go out and look for a "real" man.

[mshaker]

He does value you, he treats your right, right? that means he values you! LOL he's just smart and doesn't wanna get stabbed. Look I understand you want someone that will protect you, and im sure if someone was the threaten to kill you he will turn into superman. But at the sametime, this is all minor things that your looking at. You actually at the end of the day, should have said, to the guy that grabbed your ass, you buddy, f off or ill have my bf kick your ass and put you in jail. LOL

If you want a guy that's all macho and oh don't touch my shit, just make sure that one day he doesn't touch you the wrong way.. I've seen girls like you leave a lot of good people, to only get beaten later on in life with something that they thought was a "real" man. lol

Anyways, just chill. You gotta more so enjoy the good person you have. Instead of find reasons to walk away.

[Asker]

Yeah he treats me right. I don't want him getting all territorial on me. Just simply defend me, not that he has to beat the guy up. It's also embarrassing when I'm out with friends and my guy friends defend me rather than my bf. My bf is a quiet, nice type (which I prefer) I'm more social and have a larger crowd of friends, being in a social environment and this happens I just wish he would respond in some way. He just stays quiet. I know my guy friends look down on him for that which pisses me off because he's a good guy.

[mshaker]

The mind my friend is a lot more powerful then the physical muscle. It doesn't matter what your friends think of who your dating, because at the end of the day, you wanna have his kids. Not theirs. So don't take their opinions in on anything cause there irrelevant. Just know that what you have should not be let go of. Put it like this, say you were someone else, who was territorial or w. e, and say he stood up for you, but then that led to a huge fight in the bar. Do you know what the outcome would be when the cops arrived? Everyone would be going to jail. Then imagine your bf had charges on him cause some loser was being a loser and caused that on him.
Trust me you have it good, so don't spoil it.

[Asker]

You are so right. I wouldn't want anything to happen to him or it to escalate into anything like that. I didn't see it that way. I just thought he didn't care. Thank you for putting it into that perspective.

[Panzer103]

He doesn't need to fight, but at least something. I couldn't imagine letting my gf be grabbed by any passerby. A lot of betas answering on this rofl.

[Asker]

Something is what I was looking for. Yeah I know I thought more guys would want to defend their gf... I guess not lol

[Panzer103]

It's one of those things I can't contemplate lol. It surprised me too. All he has to do is comment. Especially if you have your guy friends there as well. I bet they'd fully back him up if the guy coped an attitude.

[Asker]

A simple "bro don't touch my girl like that" would be fine. I mean I'm wearing a dress and the asshole grabs my ass. Imagine how stupid I feel when my bf is near me and doesn't say anything.

[Panzer103]

Of course. Of course. Not like your asking for him to form a posse and hunt the guy down or something.

[Asker]

Yeah exactly. Also it's a turn off too in our sex life. At least for me. Makes me not want to sleep with him. I mean he's so nice and a gentleman but that really bothers me.

[Panzer103]

A gentleman isn't a gentleman to people who feel up his girl.

[CommieDearest]

Go take martial arts or kickboxing or something and learn how to protect yourself. Honestly, that's kind of a shallow thing to care about and he probably wants a gf who thinks he is a "real" man the way he is.

[Asker]

I can defend myself. & I do.
How is that shallow? I've been with him for 5 years.
Telling some guy to fuck because he touched your gf isn't much to ask for.

[thisGUYknows]

He's probably never been in a fight. Or maybe the guy was a lot bigger? Either way he shouldn't have let that slide. He should have said something to the guy. Getting beaten up would hurt less than hurt pride. A guy should always fight if it comes to that. If that was me and I knew I didn't stand a chance, I would have thrown a bottle or chair right away then gotten kicked out lol. Beats getting mashed into pulp I bet

[Asker]

He has been in a fight. In high school some guy told something to his ex gf and him and the guy got into a fight.

[Crazyced]

These kinds of situations need to be handled carefully. On one hand you would like him to at least step up a little, if only to tell the guy to back off. On the other hand, it can have dire consequences.

I also know instances where the guy's face got turned into hamburger. Unfortunately in real life, the good guy doesn't always win.

[Asker]

Yes exactly I just wanted him to tell the guy to back off. Not to fight him or anything like that. I rather not take the risk of something happening to him, if he were to say something to the wrong guy. I just got more clarity on why he wouldn't say anything. It would just hurt you know. But I understand now.

[thtdiablo]

That's the kind of situation where small firearms come in handy, given the proper training aforehead... Already just an eye at guys like that can cause a huge fight, I've seen that before. Nothing you can't resolve with pepper spray and a 9mm, but still, sometimes it's better to keep it low...

[Anonymous]

Listen to what I'm telling you. Someone I know was killed for retaliation on some guy who touched his girl. He was actually stabbed at a club and died leaving a pregnant girlfriend behind. And I know another guy who was shot at. Usually a person who grabs a girls ass in public is shameless and cares about nothing. Would it make you happy If he was beatened or hurt over you huh? Would that be a more manly thing to do?

[Asker]

I don't want him fighting over me. It's just he wouldn't show signs that it bothered him. Which made me think differently, but mshaker & you make very valid points. Thanks.

[Opinion Owner]

Don't be so immature. Maybe he didn't show any signs because he's a mature person and isn't some little punk running around looking for a fight. I'll tell you this. There's no way in hell I'm getting killed over something so stupid

[Asker]

Alright I fucking get it. Thanks!!

[Opinion Owner]

Huh women? Would you be happy then huh huh?

[Asker]

What's your point?

[Opinion Owner]

Would ya? Huh

[Asker]

Can you read properly?
I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself.

[Opinion Owner]

You seem like a feisty one...

[Asker]

Haha Im not. Well only sometimes.
It's just I told you how many times
& to other responses,
that I wouldn't want him hurt.

[Opinion Owner]

That's cool. I love when girls get feisty... it seems so not serious

[Asker]

Why'd you go anon? Lol

It's not serious kind of a turn off
But not serious.

[Opinion Owner]

Possibly... sexually of course. I just think it's real cute when girls get mad. It makes me want them just a little more then usual.

[Asker]

As a Latina I think it is normal to be a bit feisty lol

A challenge is always good :)

[Opinion Owner]

Uhuh a Latina. Is your boyfriend latino? By the description probably not

[Asker]

Hahaha! He's half Latino, but he's Americanized. His family doesn't speak Spanish.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok I understand. So tell me... Be honest with me. Would you like to see him knock one of those punks out?

[Asker]

Sure, that would be pretty hot. But I wouldn't want him to get stabbed or anything.

Its conflicting.

[Opinion Owner]

Is it like a fantasy? Would it turn you on?

[Asker]

Yeah it would hahaha

[Opinion Owner]

Why don't you role play? Have a friend pretend to be the guy he beats up and then he can ravish you... if that's what you really want?

[Asker]

It's not that its a fantasy of mine, its something I look for in a partner. Someone who has my back and protects me. When I was younger I went through a lot so I guess it has something to do with that.
We had broke up for a while, and I can say I've changed.
So what I want in a partner is different, but I'm trying to make it work with him because
we have been together so long. I don't know maybe we've changed too much.

[Opinion Owner]

I see

[GrowStrong]

he probs shud have done something but these things can easily turn into a fight and do you want your boyfriend bottled or stabbed?

[Asker]

of course not. But at the same time makes me feel like he doesn't value me. My guy friends defend me more than my own bf.

[mario1321]

Bruised ribs hurt a lot less than bruised pride, everytime.

[Tassos]

It's not worth getting in a fist fight over a woman.

[Panzer103]

So if a guy walked into your house, picked up your computer and went to leave you wouldn't stop him?

[ldrccarter]

tell him that