He is most likely having an affair, but take everything I say with a grain of salt cause you are much older than me and I am guessing so is this guy and I have never been in your position just from experience and analyzing on other people's relationship experiences and when someone despite how much he likes you which he clearly does I mean all the things he is doing for you that you told me he is clearly head over heels for you madly in love with you especially if he introduced you to his mom and kids. He doesn't want to make it official saying that he wants to make you his girlfriend even though he already is through his actions actions speak louder than words, so if you two aren't official then if you were to ever find out he was cheating on you and if he were to get caught he could just say "ya but didn't I tell you before I didn't want to date you?"
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He wants to sleep with you. I'm not sure if he wants a relationship with you. He probably doesn't feel he can safely be with you when you aren't divorced yet. He may also be using you for the benefits. Try dealing with him without the benefits and see if he still wants to hang out with you.
Hmm. He wants the affection, the sex, the intimacy... but not the commitment.
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