Is it weird to have never had a boyfriend at 21?

[Anonymous]

So ya I've never had a boyfriend, I worked as a model in my teens as to save enough money for college. So I never had time for a boyfriend, nor was I interested, nor had I any offer realy.
And actually being in college I went on a lot of dates the past few years, tried online dating too but I just didn't find anyone I like. The ones i did like, didn't like me, so ok.

And now I have to get work placement next year, which is important and I've been working on building some muscle in the gym, and not be "just thin" anymore and I don't really feel like dating at the moment. I guess if I would just have a boyfriend I'd be happy but that's not how it works, so I want to focus on myself for a while. Is that weird?

I'm afraid it is, because I'll be 22 next year and when then hopefully find someone I love and vice versa I'm afraid he'll thin it's weird that I'm that old and never been in a relationship?

[kaister]

You are a model and the ones that you liked... didn't like you? I mean unless you telling you like those ugly models posing the before part for facial products. Ok that was offensive but if you a model what idiot would say no? Beats me. Anyways.

You are 22 and find it weird to be single. Hey at least you have been on dates. Even if it be online. I am 22 too... and guess what not even a date. Not even an online one and trust me I know far older men. Who are in just as much of a rut I am in.

So if you are afraid he will find it weird. You can always go for me or guys who are in my type of rut. We certainly aren't going to think you are weird. Besides you are model, who care if your weird. I mean damn... seriousy. Ok, jokes a side.

I don't think it's weird and don't think any guy will find it weird. If any thing, if you get together with the wrong guys they may abuse that to their advantage. Like that's the worst that can happen. Not them thinking that it's weird.

Don't stress out, you a 22 year old girl. You said you modelled. I am very sure that means you are certainly above average. Plenty of guys to choose from. No one is gonna pin point about you being 22 and never attached.

Seriously though you could choose me. Same age, I am like a strong 2 out of 10 but my heart is gold though. Ok, it's not. It's just a normal heart with the occasional problem of palpitations but hey what you got to lose other than time?

Nah I am just teasing. You will do fine, way more than fine. I mean if you really want to find one now. If that' s what you saying or you are looking for more than just dating. That may take longer, like there is lots of different personalities. If it doesn't work it doesn't. Only can say be happy you still have an option to choose to date or not to.

If not, like you aren't in a hurry. Just take it easy. You know make casual friends may be something may spark there. Not necessarily have to stick to strictly dates and stuff.

[Asker]

ehm well there is more to me than looks. I don't know what he didn't like, he just never called.

As I said in another post, the demands of the fashion industry don't always match the preferences of men.

My first job in fact was for a facial product. Both before and after because obviously it's not real they photoshop your skin terrible in one and gorgous in the other

[kaister]

Only can say that guy has some issues. You can't be that demanding, expecting a person to look good and meet your standards for a good character or whatever.

Yea, them facial products hell any magazine that is showing women or men for physical improvement. Bunch of balony. There is no crop button for real life...

Like what? if the fashion industry doesn't sell to women what men think is looking good. Then what the hell they selling? I don't know, I am not personally into the fashion thing so...

[Asker]

well for once they don't sell all the things the advertise for. They only sell about 2/3 of it. And I uess the clothes are supposed to be attractive to men, but not necessarily the models
I'm fairly tall, I'm very thin with little curves. I don't have those big butts that are really in style today. I have very pale skin

[kaister]

So are you like into the fashion stuff or just did it cause of the money? I would say more likely the money. You don't seem really into it. Which is good. Like consumerism is just non sense.

If any I pretty much match your description of yourself. Just my skin is in the dark brown region.

Anyway, you are 22 you have like 8 years like myself, before we hit our 30s and we start to well get old. I mean 35 is more like the actual limit. After that you start aging fast. So it's just a matter of how badly you want it and I mean you are a female and definitely above average looks. So you
will do fine in terms of getting opportunities to interact and build friendship/relationship with people.

I mean being single even at 22, I don't think it counts as weird. As it's actually the norm compared to seeing couples. There are more single people than married ones at way past 22. If any it's depressing, especially if you keep bumping into more publicly open couples often.

[Pedantic]

This is probably going to sting. Take a hard look at at your situation though, whatever it may be.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1042522-what-question-do-you-loathe-to-see-the-most

I don't presume to say you'll be an old maid, or that you are a bad person, or that your luck won't change, but if you are truly asking about this you lack the situational awareness and self-analysis to properly grow as a person. Unless those skills improve, lacking them could haunt you for the rest of your life.

[Asker]

ya that was pretty rude

[Pedantic]

I'm sorry =\

[Asker]

I mean you're phrasing in the link, it's unnecessarily rude

[Pedantic]

It's indeed very rude. These questions are very frustrating. I don't know if anyone can be helped by them. I wish you all the best.

[Asker]

the one who is asking can usually be helped.
In case it's unclear I'm not asking how to get a boyfriend or why I didn't have one so far

[Pedantic]

Well, that's true, you are just asking if its weird.
I don't know, I think it depends on a person's social exposure. You sound pretty exposed with your activity in the whole dating scene. I kind of might want to lean to 'yes', but if you were more closeted I might say 'no.'

[MelodyTodd]

Hi.
Well, it's not 'weird' per se, and definitely not something to stress over.
It's fine to not have a boyfriend. I'm 21 and I'm still single, but that's mostly because I chose to be. Staying single is completely fine, and focusing on bettering yourself is actually taking a step in the right direction. If you want to find somebody, make sure you love yourself first and foremost.
As for next year, don't rush into it. If you've never had a boyfriend, you should probably 'date' first. Dating is where you go on dates with guys and get to know them. Figure out what you like in a guy, what you don't, and slowly build a mental image of what you want in a man. THEN you're ready for a serious relationship.
Good luck! :)

[Asker]

What do you like about being single?

I have been dating a lot. And turns out I hate it. I feel I got nothing out of it aside from a few free dinners

[MelodyTodd]

I actually love being single. There's no boyfriend/girlfriend I need to call after work and ask how they are, there's no worry that my relationship is falling to pieces, there's no relationship drama in my life and I can focus on more important things (like graduating and getting my BA or MA). I dated a lot back in high school and it always was more of a drag then actual fun. So I decided to try out staying single. It gives me the freedom to flirt with whoever I want and not have to worry about consequences. Plus, this is more personal, I enjoy the independence.

Oh, I see. Well then, it's obvious right now, you should just focus on you and not on trying to shove yourself in a relationship. I promise, at some point, you'll find a guy that'll knock you off your feet and you'll be dying to go on dates with him.

Dating is really complicated, and although I kinda just wrote down my thoughts, I really hope this helped. :) Good luck.

[Belleza2]

Nah, dont worry about it - I am 26 and never had a boyfriend either, I guess I also liked the ones that did not like me and I feel as if people rush into relationships, some of us still do not know what we want to do in life and we rush as if this is it or you are never going to get that chance again.

I made a choice when I was in high school because I have seen how guys treat girls and how some were getting pregnant so I said to myself - graduate high school and if in college I happen to meet the guy for me than why not and honestly I have not met anybody worth my time and so no it is not weird that you have never had a boyfriend, some guys actually like that...

[Motivation_Girl]

I don't honestly think it's weird at all. You're putting focus on your life and yourself to take care of your own needs. The perfect guy hasn't found you yet so that is why it's taking longer for you to be in a relationship. Don't worry about it that dream guy of yours will surely find you if your luck of looking for love isn't working, then the love will come to you my mom always told me that. If no guy has any interest in you just pick yourself up and keep moving. There are many guys out there that would love to be in a serious relationship with you :)

[CrystalMinds]

That's not weird at all. There's so much pressure everywhere that we all should have a girlfriend or boyfriend at this or that age. You focus on you, is that weird? No, because it's your life, it would be weird if you didn't focus on yourself for a while. Having a partner is nice, but not a necessary need to feel happy in life. As long as you're happy and feeling good with your relationship status, that's all that matters.

[OmniSlug]

There is no magical age number that qualifies you as "weird" or declares that something is wrong with you.

I didn't get a hint that any girl even liked me until I was 22. I married that girl nine years later and I lost my virginity at 31. My cousin is 40 and he just got engaged.

If somebody's going to get in a relationship with you, it's because of who you are, not because of meaningless stuff like you not having a boyfriend. You're an awesome person. Just be the best person you can be and when the right guy comes along, he'll take notice :) And until then? You'll be living an awesome life.

No downside, really :D

[Asker]

really? That's kinda my dream, my first also being my last, but how realistic is that really?

[OmniSlug]

It's as realistic as you make it, Anon :) Just make sure you keep your standards high, but reasonable. Never "settle" on anyone, because that always leads to disappointment.

I wish you well wherever your life takes you :)

[JustANormalTeenGuy]

Personally I'm 17 and I have dated. But people like me also respect the fact that you have waited that long and saved yourself for someone you truly care for. I haven't had much luck with girls either seeing as the most serious relation ship I had was a girl who basically only wanted to make out and wanted the D ( which I did not give her). So I say waiting for the right guy to stroll along in your life is a great thing. Who knows, maybe you've already met him but you just don't know it yet. He could be 30 ft away from where you typed this question in. It's hard to know how or when It'll work out but I'm sure It will. Plus, you've been a model which means that you must have at least some beauty to you. And just because you don't like a guy at first doesn't mean that it won't change over time. Give em a chance to wow you and see if anything amazing happens. :)

[Phantom-menace]

At your age, there is more to life than boys and love. There is so much you can do for yourself and the opportunties out there. Your still too young to be worrying about that rubbish. My Auntie didn't find love until 40 and also had a family. Love can happen at any age, don't worry about it, The time will come when it happens. Don't worry or waste your life thinking about it. you have a very short time on this earth, and a long time dead. Don't waste it, on one thing.

[Asker]

I don't think I'm that young, I always wanted to get married and have a family early. Like before I turn 30

[Phantom-menace]

Why, when you can achieve much more for yourself? have a successful career etc. Relying on someone to make you happy is not a good thing. That problem with what you are asking for something that is not guaranteed, where is doing well for yourself can happen. Well if you want to find a man, and get marriend, then you have to put yourself out there, and keep dating until you find someone that loves you and you love him. The dating is game is gamble, its not guaranteed. Cause society is changing.

[Phantom-menace]

The scary thing to find someone you really like and get married, you might have to date 5-10 partners. Others are just lucky and only have too date one person. Then there's is some that date, and never find someone they truly like, so dating is gamble. So in reality, it might lead you to unhappiness, and dissappointment.

[Asker]

well ya that was kinda my point I've been on sooo many dates and it's just frustrating. It gets tiring. So I just kinda want a break. And I'm happy with myself now, I'm just a bit worried about the future, that's why I asked

[Phantom-menace]

Well there you go, you are getting unhappy because you are relying on someone to make you happy. And you are more happy, doing things for yourself. Well you can have a successful career, and thats something you can change. Finding the right man, is out of your control. Thats just like hoping you when the jackpot on the lottery. Why don't you worry about having a successful career, having goals for yourself. I am 32, and never found love, I used cry about it, but I am a lot happier not thinking about it, and focusing on myself more.

[Phantom-menace]

By all means have boyfriends, and go on dates, but don't treat it too seriously, have fun with him. Don't worry if he is the man or not for you. If doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, you just move on to the next guy. Don't treat the dating game to seriously. You can't force love, love happens on its own.

[ForeverFSixteen]

These are some really wise words.

[Kinstrome]

I see the word 'weird' used on here a lot, and I don't think it's the best word to use. It's uncommon, if you are attractive enough to work as a model. But it isn't a bad sign, which is a connotation carried with the word 'weird.' It sounds like you are probably introverted and maybe were not very ambitious in finding a boyfriend in the past. You shouldn't try to find a boyfriend exclusively to write a check on a list of things to get done, but that doesn't mean that you can't try to find one.

Avoid thinking about never having been in a relationship as shameful. It isn't a bad thing, it won't deter a guy from trying to get to know you, and being afraid of not getting a relationship just because you haven't had one won't do you any good.

[mbafge]

I don't think so at all. I'm 20 and haven't had one either. If you want to put your career first, go for it. Or maybe you haven't just found a person you're willing to invest a good deal of time in. Up until a few months ago, I haven't either. But I met a girl who I find really wonderful. There's some hurdles (one being her mom's approval/permission) but to me at least, if you're not willing to fight for that person, then you aren't investing your time wisely into someone. I don't see a point to dating just "for the fun of it" and I get some odd looks for that. Maybe you're the same, or your career comes first. That could go hand in hand. So no. You're not weird at all. You're perfectly fine :)

[RichardBoehner]

nah. this model i dated was a virgin at 24. then again she was from friggin kazahkstan so i think social standards are different there. but its even worse in japan or china, and honestly, people in america aren't as sexually liberated as the media paints us. we're actually the most closeted prudes since the 50s.

[Asker]

what do you mean even worse in japan? I'm from france originally and I agree people there are far more sexually open and would rather think it's weird not having had a relationship by now

[RichardBoehner]

literally a 3rd of the entire adult population in japan are virgins. they're labeling it an epidemic. and if you look at sex rates in studies, people in the 60s were having way more than us, only in the 21st century we lie about it a lot more. Studies done in both the by Elaine Hatfield in the 1970s and recently in the 2010s have shown no difference in sexual liberation in the past 3 decades, especially from women.

[aficionado]

Not weird at all. I had my first girlfriend at age 23, and have been single by choice since past 4 years. Don't rush into these kind of things until you feel ready for it. And if someone judges you for this, just stick up your middle finger in his face and move on with your life.

[MysteriousFlower]

Yes, why aren't you like anyone else? :)
Its great you got your life set up before being in a official relationship. This also applied to me so now that's things are balanced I'm knowing some-one at the moment.
Many other girls do the opposite, they get shacked up have a drug problem and all their bright plans are ruined because of some jerk.
The right guy won't think less of you, if anything he knows that you have self-respect :)

[Asker]

So are you saying yes it's weird or yes it's ok?

[MysteriousFlower]

I was joking because most people don't do what we do because they are stupid.

[Hyuji]

I am 19 and no closer to ever having a girlfriend than you having a boyfriend, so I can't really say it to be weird. In fact, I don't think it's weird at all. If you think you should have one by now, then by all means try to find one, but just don't rush into things with the wrong people or something, I guess I should say. Anyway, good luck. If you want it that is.

[BEatenyou]

Good luck trying to find a boyfriend. I mean its not like you were a model, work out, go to school, have a job, most likely have a decent job, have a interesting personality. I mean I can't even see what man in their right mind will want to like you. Or even love you for the matter, your not a catch at all.

[haroldpotter]

didn't catch the sarcasm there for a sec

[Asker]

It's not easy at all though

[BEatenyou]

No one ever said it would be. Its not suppose to be easy otherwise Love would be sadly just another day to day reward for our troubles. I do believe in soul mates, but just one seems really irrationable. I believe we each have 1000 people in this world that we would fall head over heels for, and love for all what we can offer. You just have to go find them, Good luck.

[sweetgirl23]

Its not weird sweetie. I am 23 and just got a boyfriend last june. That's my first. He's my first kiss as well. but we never do it yet (i mean sex hehe), so therefore im still a virgin. I love him and i dont know why. Dont rush to get a bf. its better to wait for the right man to love than to waste your time for some guy whom you doesn't love at all. Stay pretty. You'll never know when you will find your Mr. Right. :)

[MissBex95]

honestly what is considered weird/normal anymore? Sure maybe by western society's general standards that would be considered weird, but hey being divorced and living in the Bible belt is not normal, whereas if you want to California or Texas that's completely normal/accepted so don't worry about whether or not it is, just live your life and do everything at your own pace you'll be fine! NEVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYBODY

[CheerGirl38139]

I think its a little uncommon but Im the same way. Went to prom and formals and all that stuff in HS, but never had a BF. I'm 20 now and about to start my senior year, and I have still not met a guy that I would want to be my BF. Maybe I'm too pick... IDK... but I don't really think so.

[man25]

Does that really sound wiered? I am 25 and had just a short relationship of about 3-4 months and that too recently. I had also dated some girls online. The thing is that I dint feel the need for a relationship ever. So in your case i guess its quite alrigt. And yes you will get a great guy very easily.

[Asker]

why do people say I will get a boyfriend easily? Hasn't been my experience

[man25]

Because you are young and beautiful.

[Asker]

I think that's stereotype, I've never heard a girl say that, but so many guys seem to believe it's true

[man25]

Thats actually true. But your description doesn't show any negative sign of you being someone unfit for a relationship. I would answer you honestly only if I had known your positives and negatives. Otherwise you have to settle with this stereotypical answer.

[Asker]

I don't think I am unfit for a relationship, I just seem unable to get one.
Negatives, well I need some me time, i've been told I'm too honest sometimes, i'm bad at flirting and meeting men in general, that's also something I want to work at before I go back to dating. And well I can be a bit picky too when it comes to men

[man25]

You have to accept that nobody is perfect. Even you have some flaws and so does all the guys have them. If you keep on waiting for the mr. Perfect all your life then you will soon be miss oldie. Lol

[TheNewClassic]

I am also almost 22 and never had a boyfriend or even went on dates. I just never felt ready and focused on other things.

And its not weird at all, you are still young and Im sure you'll find a nice guy soon, it won't be hard for you since you are a model.

[Asker]

I was a model and I don't know why people think that makes it easier? Couldn't confirm that. I'm going to an engineering school where you'd think it's easy to find a guy just by chance but nope

[abundantlyrich]

Heck gonna be lots of guys for u to choose

[Downanddepressed]

Have you ever had sex? Sometimes I get confused because sone say they never had a bf/gf but have had sex before.

Anyways, I am almost. 20 and never had a girlfriend or sex. So if you have had one or the other, you can at least say you have a foot in the door when it comes to experience.

[Asker]

No I've never had sex

[Downanddepressed]

You are what some guys call a "hot commodity". Not that you are an object rather than a human being, but what I mean to say is that you have several key qualities that are incredibly valuable to most guys, in addition to personality traits. The attributes I am talking about is
1. You are a virgin - never been touched or penetrated by another guy before. No recollection or baggage to bring to a relationship
2. You are a model - most likely signifies you are very attractive physically
3. You are motivated - shows responsibility and initiative

These are things most guys will go crazy for. That being said, you have expanded your potential partners this way, meaning you will have plenty of guys flocking to you. This will enable you to really evaluate your options and select the best guy for you.

[Asker]

well thx, but I don't think you're quite right.

1) well I don't know about that but I have not been under the impression that's something guys value really. Especially not at home
2) actually I found that what is wanted in the fashion industry doesn't at all correlate to what men want. I'm fairly tall, I'm very thin with little curves. I don't have those big butts that are really in style today. I have very pale skin

And I don't have plenty of guys flocking around me, I don;t know why so many people say this

[Downanddepressed]

But remember you are the "triple threat", so guys may just seem threatened or fearful to approach you, or already assume you are taken.

Let me just tell you, in my opinion, I'd want a girl like you. Yet, you being tall and beautiful and me being short, I'd feel like I had no chance. But guys would not always want to openly admit that.

[Downanddepressed]

Choose life

www.bethany.org/.../choose_life.gif

[Downanddepressed]

Oops... posted link to wrong thread. My bad

[Anonymous]

Im weird the if you are. I'm almost 21 and never had a gf and never asked a girl out. I'm really social and flirty around girls i don't like but around the one person I like im shy and blush become shy. So I let them get away cause I never take the chance. Your fine though honestly a girl has a higher chance to get asked out more than a guy so let it come. As long as guy show interest your fine you will find somebody.

[Anonymous]

I am 21.
I have also never had a boyfriend.
I am so glad to find someone in the same boat, and all I want is to focus on myself first too.
I don't tell anyone I have never had one, especially at work where the topic of boys spreads like fire but I think it's OK. Although it may be weird to some, I'm just not interested yet so when I feel it's right I will take that step.

[babymary95]

Get a boyfriend just when you really want that :) It seems like you are more interested in other things right now and that's all right. Don't wish to have a boyfriend just because most girls want or have one. Start a relationship when you are prepared and interested for/in it. Just go out more and don't stress much about it and you will find a nice guy when you won't expect it.

[GoldCobra]

It's not that weird. You're sill young believe it or not. I think a lot of relationships at early years don't last forever anyways. You should focus on yourself but also be open and friendly to guys who approach you in public. Even if you don't think the guy is attractive, you could just make friends and thus, expand your network of people you know and soon enough u will find someone

[Asker]

I don't really get approached, I think that's part of the problem