Have a crush - is he shy or not interested?

[blondie_girl]

I have had a crush on my coworker for almost a year now. I will explain the details, I have overanalyzed it over again and again. He talks to everyone but me. And when he's around me he talks softly and avoids looking at me. But I catch him staring at me sometimes. The only thing we've said to each other is "hi" and I initiated that.

I friend requested him on Facebook and he accepted within like 5 min. we've only said a few words on there. He sent a private message on Facebook wishing me a good day on my birthday and that was early in the morning, he was the first person to tell me happy bday. I left him a message on Facebook saying I think he's cute. But he saw it weeks ago and didn't respond. I know all the implications of dating a coworker and blah blah. I'm 28 he's 34.

He works in a different dept. than me so we don't work together at all. There's no policy at work for not dating coworkers. Whenever I enter the room he goes quiet and usually moves away like he's scared or something. I'm a really shy girl so it's not like I'm mean lol

Do you think he's intimidated by me? Do you think he likes me or not interested? Maybe he's afraid to talk to me because we work in the same place? I can't tell if he's shy and likes me or just flat out not interested. He won't talk to me, not even on facebook! I never get approached by guys, only the player types ughhh I'll never understand how some girls get hit on every day, I don't remember the last time I was - but that's a whole different matter. Any thoughts greatly appreciated so I can get another perspective

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Well I messaged him on FB a couple nights ago asking if he would like to hang out sometime. And no response but also looks like he didn't read it yet either. But I'm not going to wait on pins and needles and get a lot of hype up. I will assume reject

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My update didn't finish on me. I meant to say I will assume rejection and soldier on.

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I have an update to this question. So around my birthday I went out for drinks with coworkers and some of them actually brought up that I should ask him out because we could be a good match. One of the higher ups even mentioned to him that he should ask me out and my crush said "Why?" I was so embarrassed!! lol I told my coworker he must hate me if he said why but she said he was probably just taken back by that statement.

So my boss paired me up with him this past week to work on a

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big project. I got nothing but mixed signals from him. I was all up in his personal space like so close almost touching and he never moved away. He seemed really helpful and I didn't talk all that loud sometimes just to test him but he heard every word I said like he was intently listening. He kept looking at my face a few times when we were really close and it made me feel insecure like I don't know why he was doing that. Those are the positives. The negatives - he had a tone in his voice

[Shaggy5150]

I would guess a few things about him from what you have said.
First he seems shy and intimidated. I can identify when it comes to very attractive women, such as yourself. Its easy to assume pretty women are either spoken for or are out of your reach.
Second, women you work with are a delicate matter. Regardless of any company policies, even flirting must be handled carefully. He could be being extra careful as to not cause a disturbance on the job.
Third, he could be hesitant from experience or having a bad relationship in the near past.
In the end, you can reach out, but if he doesn't put forth any effort for whatever reason, it won't work.
It sounds like he could be interested, but only he can say and if he isn't responding you might be best to move on. I would reach out one more time. See if he would like to grab a coffee or a bite to eat after work. If you get nothing, I would just treat him as a friendly fellow employee and nothing more.

[blondie_girl]

Thank you for your insight, I was leaning towards the things you're thinking also. I felt pretty embarrassed when I left that message saying I thought he's cute and then no response. But I took the high road and have just been ignoring him and going on with my work as if nothing happened. I will be OK if nothing comes of this. But is nice to get someone else's perspective on it so I can get more closure. Thanks again!

[Shaggy5150]

You are welcome. That's a big one to put out there and hear no response, I understand how you feel. Taking the high road is the best course. His loss.

[Shaggy5150]

Thank you for MH! I hope things are going well.

[Anonymous]

He likes you. No doubt.

There is probably something in his way that is making it complicated. He is shy, and a complicated person. He thinks you're wonderful. Since a 6 year age difference is there, that's a possible excuse why he won't talk to you. Or, he is just a wuss.

Go talk to him, he's being a sackless dude.

How do I know?
I'm him.

[blondie_girl]

A sackless dude that made me lol It is annoying and frustrating. I feel like I don't know what else to do though. I've tried how many times now with Facebook since that way neither of us gets to be embarrassed by other people listening in but he never replies! Maybe talking in person is better? But I get the feeling he'll just give me the 1 word responses and the "indifferent" tone of voice like usual.

[Opinion Owner]

He probably did find someone better in his interest.

[WhiteNoise]

Well, it sounds like he's either shy or intimidated. All of the signs he's showing (at least, to me) seem like he likes you but he's either too shy or intimidated by you to interact with you. Maybe when you posted that comment on Facebook, he was scared and didn't know how to respond.

With my crush, (and this maybe slightly different since the gender roles are reversed in my case) I am intimidated by him since I want to make a good impression and be my best. So often, I just lock up and don't say anything. Or worse: I start spouting off all these weird things and get nervous.

He's probably just nervous to be around you, and wants to take things slow. Hopefully, it's because he likes you. Just try to ease into a relationship if that's what you want. Give him signals that say "I like you too." E. g. Mirroring his movements, looking at him a lot, being friendly, etc. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Hi blond girl, I have a same problem and I´m sending you over a link to my post. Let me know how it goes, I really would like to know.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1119482-is-he-really-that-shy-why-is-he-not-making-a-move-after-getting

[Opinion Owner]

besides, you are really really beautiful, so he is probably intimidated by you

[Opinion Owner]

Hi there, so how things with your guy are going?

[blondie_girl]

Hah, he's not my guy and he never will be. I messaged him on Facebook asking if he'd like to hang out with me sometime and no reply. I was expecting it but still hurts.

[helpman]

Most of the things u said implicate me i. e., shy guy
If u r shy too then try chatting on fb.
Make him get comfortable around u.
Once he his comfortable enough he will approach u for sure

[blondie_girl]

Well I have messaged him on Facebook quite a few times now. And he never replies. I would try to talk to him in real life but there's no real opportunity. He's a mechanic and I'm in the office. I can't just go start chatting him up and ask him out there are eyes and ears all around who will gossip so fast and I don't want to be caught up in that. So I guess nothing left to do but keep on making it through life single at 28.

[helpman]

If he sees your message but doesn't reply
Then maybe his not interested
Xant be 100% sure of that

[medical2523]

The guy might be shy and afraid to approach you also by the way your really cute.

[Meisa]

Destan yazmış ya.