Do men find single moms attractive?

Question

I am curious about how men feel about single moms? I am talking about a woman who has a baby/kid and works full-time or goes to school. A woman not on public assistance or taking handouts from their child's father. A woman who really has taken responsibility for, and loves their, kid.

All I have heard about single moms are negative things. Like sluts, gold-diggers, loose, whores, etc. 

I am 3 months pregnant and I will be a single mother. The relationship with my child's father was short-lived and if he is in the picture at all - it will be to father his kid. 

**Save all of your comments about sex before marriage, protection, or celibacy. I'm not looking to get bashed**

confused4231 · Accepted Answer

I think any woman can be attractive regardless of whether or not she has children. I think your question should be more along the lines of do guys want a relationship with single mother or something like that. Mom or not, I think guys look at qualities they value in a woman and is she meets them I dont think the fact that she has a child would stop him from perusing her.
At the same time not all guys want or are looking a woman with a child, I think it just depends on what they value and the importance they place on that situation. I do think that it would easier if the child's dad isn't involved. But I think women also have to remember that they can't push or expect too much of a guy who isn't their father they have to know that it will take time for him to be comfortable.
In my personal experience, I just got out of dating a single mother. Things were great, yes the childs father was involved but all of a sudden he started threatening me, saying he was going to kick my ass if he ever saw me. Started calling my ex names (bitch, cunt, slut, you name it). Telling her she's an unfit mother that he's going to take her to court etc. When that starts happening its not just the mom that has to deal with it its the guy too, you can't bring that stuff up and then tell him to stay silent to do do nothing.
I miss her to death, we hardly ever argued but one of the biggest arguments we did have was when her daughter told me to shut up... my ex said "I wish you wouldn't let her talk to you like that" Im say (weve been living together for 3 months at that time) Im not her father what do you want me to say? Maybe down the road or if we ever get married I will but right now Im not comfortable (especially with her dad creating all the drama on the side).
I'll just say give a guy time... to become comfortable and if you tell him to be more involved or help w/ discipline then make sure you mean it dont get mad at him after the fact.

Theguyoverthere · Accepted Answer

I have tried really to give single moms a chance. I really have. Only like 1-2 really have their head on straight. The rest have had way too much baggage for me and we didn't even get near the kid yet.

So basically, you'll have to make a huge effort to separate yourself from the rest. I've talked to some online and they'd immediately rant about their ex and how they were gonna use the court to screw him over and make him pay child support and such. One was drunk on the phone telling me all this so I then got suspicious after 2 phone calls as to if she was an alcoholic or not.

If you want to safely date as a single mom, I'll share some suggestions. Take it or leave it.
1. Don't talk about your kid at all for the first few months and stay loyal to your scheduled dates. If you keep canceling, the guy will move on.

2. Do not talk about your ex at all and what is going on with you two. If the guy asks, it's nothing more than shared custody that you get into. It's all in the past. Do not vent to him. You'll chase him away.

3. Don't invite the guy over, at least in front of your kid. Any sane mother knows the damage this causes to their children. It's sad this needs to be pointed out but it is true.

I do know one girl who is taking handouts and all that, those types are extremely easy to spot because they feel society owes them every handout and more.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Your average guy is going to find a single mother overwhelming. No offense, but generally guys are not excited by the thought of raising another man's seed. While many single mothers will insist they are independent and are not looking for a father figure for their child: it is simply pure BS. A child is forever apart of a mother, even in death. Eventually at some point and time the mother is ideally going to want a man who will make a good father figure for her child. Lets just be real: All children desire a father figure. Yes, some of them who grow up without one will turn out just fine however it's a lie if they say they never longed for a healthy fatherly presence at some point. It's a very natural instinct in human beings. A single mother will sense this and may feel bad/want to provide that for her child.

So basically, most guys are not trying to play daddy to a child they didn't create. Guys use condoms and urge the girl to use birth control so that situations like this can be avoided. It kinda defeats the purpose ot walk into that situation anyway.

ArchDruidMordred · Answer

When I hear "single mom" the following story plays out in my head:

There is a girl in high school and she was attracted to the popular players and she treated smart and good guys like crap because they weren't cool enough. She gets a boyfriend. Years later she has a kid and is pregnant due to her boyfriend chewing her up and spitting her out. Guess who she's going after now? THE EXACT GUYS SHE SHUNNED IN HIGH SCHOOL!! Really single moms? You treated us the way you did all those years and you expect those same guys to accept you? The sad part is they aren't going after those guys for a relationship they just want someone to help look after their damn kids. See what I mean?

Anonymous · Answer

The only thing that would put me off dating a single mother at my age is if she told me she would never have another baby. If she is willing to at least give me one child of my own I'd happily make all the moves to fall in love with her and look after her and her current children.

InquisitiveMale · Answer

A woman can be attractive no matter her situation, but most men who want children, they'd rather have one of their own. And those who don't want children will certainly not want one belonging to another man.

There are guys out there, but your selection pool is drastically small, smaller if you want someone who will actually be a good role model for your son/daughter.

zerrozero7 · Answer

generally no for men with no kids. it goes back to ancient times when people had to be sure of the paternity of the kids. which is why men generally prefer virgins in many cultures. If the man is looking for a maternal figure and is a single father (there is a difference between single father and a man who just has kids, him having custody is a big one), then sure.

Humping_Tornadoes · Answer

Sure, I can find you physically attractive but I wouldn't consider anything serious. At least not at this point in life, I don't know if I will ever change my mind later on.

sweetjoker · Answer

well sometimes single moms can be very attractive if they tell the truth in the first date and doesn't lie to the new bf. find someone with same things that you and him can in join.

AshBrown · Answer

Of course, my answer was removed.

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