"i'm naive, tell me how pretty I am and will have sex with you"?

[Anonymous]

I attract a lot of older guys, something i think is a good thing, because i see myself with an older guys, when or if i get in relationship. But lately it irritates me that older guys approach me, just because about 99% are sleezballs that only want sex.
Guys up til 30 years will contact me, and it doesn't take me long before i understand they only want sex. Im 19 myself, and i know some of you will say they are taking advantage of my naivety or whatever. But are guys so focused on sex that they dont give a shit about the other human feelings?
Even when i was 15 older guys (20 +) would approach me. I have just learn that guys only want sex, i think thats one of the main reason i dont have any close male friends. Because of all the guys in my past i have learn that all guys only want sex (even if i know thats not 100 % true) so when i guys approaches me on or off line i just assume they only want sex and keep my distance. What is it with me that send the message "I going to have sex with you" or "i'm naive, tell me how pretty i am and will have sex with you". i really dont get it!

[halafax]

Sounds like you hang out with or around some really skeezy men. Honestly even if I meet a pretty girl the first thing that goes through my head isn't whether or not she is going to sleep with me. I like to get to know people and find out what makes them tick. If you have all these men coming on to you maybe they take your naivete as you playing coy and that you are really some kind of secret sex pot. Also if you have not been with anyone before then maybe they make it their goal to get in your pants so they can say that they took your virginity.
Not all men just want sex. Personally I want a real relationship. Sex is comes with that, but thats not the only thing to base a relationship on. There is more to it. Some people really do not think about other peoples feelings and tend to think that what they want is all that matters.

[Asker]

I normally dont hang out with guys at all, unless im out somewhere or with my friend friends. I looked older than i am, people assume i'm in my early 20's, so maybe that explains why so many older guys approach me. And i know deep down that good guys that want relationship exists, but ist difficult to not put my guard up when guys try to approach me in any way. But why do only the assholes that approach me? What can i do to get a nice, sweet guys to approach me? Im getting use the the thought that i will single and a virgin forever (im not willing to have sex with guys that om not involved with)

[halafax]

Honestly just keep to your standards and only go with what you want. If someone thinks you are being stuck on yourself because you won't just sleep with them then they can go screw. Honestly if you want a real relationship with something more than just sex then thats totally fine. When people take the meaning out of sex and base relationships on nothing more than sex, they end up unhappy and unfulfilled. You will find the type of guy you are looking for, it just takes time. I would rather be single and happy, than with someone and miserable. Sex is great, but its worth throwing out your ideals and beliefs.
It sounds like the places you go have a lot of skeeze bags.
Patience is a virtue when it comes to finding what you are looking for in a relationship. People who settle tend to know they are doing just that. It leads to issues later.

[Asker]

Im trying to be positive... but it's hard... : ( especially when people all the time ask me where my boyfriend is, why i dont have a boyfriend etc. So i keep getting reminded that i'm not desirable in the relationship department... People tell me all the time it takes time and i will find someone one day, but when my friends get boys and boyfriends, and have guys friends i can't help put feel down. Its like either my looks sucks or my personality does.

[halafax]

Well with out knowing what you look like I can only speculate. When you have been burned enough times its hard not to be guarded. I know I am. People say Im paranoid. I am, just because they aren't out to get you doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Id say loosen up, but maybe you need to breath a bit and not automatically assume that every guy is trying to get in your pants. I mean at the end of the day when a guy approaches a girl they are thinking that on some level, but with me its more of can I get to know that person and what will happen when I do. Some times you meet people and you realize the two of you are not compatible as a couple. Other times you are better off as friends, or you are better off in different time zones. But not wanting to sleep around is totally fine. Dont let people make you feel bad about that. Its a pet peeve of mine when I hear people go after people who dont want to sleep around. Its your choice and your body. You do what you want with it.

[GamerArtNerd]

Maybe you're just over reacting. Girls have a tendency of assuming guys want sex without always having obvious signs. I'm a very kind and polite guy but girls tend to assume I'm only doing it to get in their pants. I'm a virgin yet for some reason they fail to accept that there actually are genuinely nice men out there. Long story short, you shouldn't shut a guy down unless he definitively asks for sex or starts touching. You will ruin many potential relationships if you keep assuming they only want sex.

[Roycaryn]

Judging from your comment down below, it seems as if your shyness is being mistaken for arrogance, that would explain both why no quality guys approach as well as why so many douchebags are approaching you. To the latter set of men, you're the classic "hot girl," with which if they could score a night with you, then they would never be intimated by the thought of approaching a girl ever again. They're so uninterested in your feelings because they don't think you have any based judging by (in their minds) by your appearance and attitude.

[Asker]

How can i "fix" it? Im getting very tired of this :/

[BigRed64]

do you dress like you wan't to have sex with them? low cut shirts? short shorts? lots of make up and all that stuff? are you overly obnoxious and act like you don't know whats going on half the time? if you answered yes to any of those I might be the problem.. or, sorry to tell ya, if your generally just a really good looking girl your gonna get a lot of male attention no matter what you do!

[Asker]

I dont know how a girl can dress to show guys she wants to have sex with them. Low cut tops dosent equal someone that has sex a lot or whatever. Anyway, answer to your first question is no. First of all i almost never use anything low cut, i may use a short skirt, but i always use a thights under. Second of all i use a little makeup once a week, max 2. So when i first use makeup i use powder and some eyeliner. Answer to your second question is also no, im quite shy so i never make a big scene or a lot of noice unless im with my bestfriend.

Why is that "your type of guy" can't treat me well instead if just using me? Am i "to goodlooking" for you to want anything more then sex. I really don't get it, and how can i make them stay away, lol

[BigRed64]

Are you going to parties or places where guys are looking to hook up? If not then I just guess you must be good looking and need to get used to the fact that some guys are gonna be creeps and really want to get with ya! Just politely tell then no and move one! I mean hey look on the bright side at least you arnt ugly

[BigRed64]

yes, Im sorry hate to be the one to tell you this but you must be good looking!! I personally don't consider myself to be that type of guy cause I won't sleep with someone who I just met, I at least have to date them a little bit. but if you want to get away from it then try to stay away from the bar/party scene. or just be bold and if you think a guy is coming on to strong tell him to back off and that your not interested in going home with him tonight, if he leaves then he's not worth your time and if he stays then maybe give him your number at the end of the night and meet up another night

[megmasweg]

ouch.. that ganna ruin the fun time you could have had with guy friends... i mean yea most guy would think about sex alot.. but have you considered that some dont? not all are the same, some might want it but control, some might hate it...

[Asker]

I know... and yes i have considered that some guys want something else, but i always put up a wall kinda, so i never become close to guys or i use very long time to open up to them. I do it automatically now, but im trying to let my guard down, because i want to eventually to have a relationship.

[Tractorbeam]

I'll guarantee they don't just want sex.
Sex is part of a relationship, but so is eating. Both will be a part of most days, with normally more time spent on sex. It's not all about eating or sex. It's more about the other 20+ hours in the day.

[BigRed64]

and pigs can fly

[Tractorbeam]

@BigRed64, are you saying some women would like to spend more time eating than having sex?
I know that's the excuse why you can't have a lunchtime affair. No woman would give up eating lunch, just to have passionate sex.

[BigRed64]

"No woman would give up lunch just to have passionate sex" and once again I say and pigs can fly

[akadatank44]

Actually sex is the last thing on my mind when I approach a woman at a bar or club. That is something I don't want I actually want a relationship not just sex. I guess you have to find the guys that don't want you just for sex.

[Asker]

how on earth am i going to find them? How can i separate, the good guys from the bad guys? im guessing you can't find what guys wants from the way they look... I would approach guys myself if i wansn't so shy

[akadatank44]

Well, on dates state that you don't just want sex and you are looking for a real relationship. I would respect that because I am looking for the same thing. You might take hints where you see a guy checking you out might be looking at your face instead of your body. Like I look at a woman's smile and her eyes. I melt for a beautiful smile because I am a guy who likes to have fun and crack jokes. I know you said you don't have any guy friends but what about your girlfriends boyfriends? Maybe they can help you.

[beastman88]

i have trouble making friends just because iam so pretty and everybody is jelly, no lie. girls just want to sex me, beauty is a curse

[Cómoestás]

The old saying goes" nice guys finish last" comes to mind. The dudes who only want sex are arrogant ( mixing in with a little confidence). Usually the nice guys are the shy ones who don't approach. Try to find a shy guy that is at least dateable.