Can you forgive a liar?

i suppose its true..everyone lies?

if you're boyfriend lied to you and told you, or left you hints so you'd ask him about something and told you the truth...would you still break up with him?whats forgivable and what's not?

he lied and said he wasn't feeling well (which was true) but he was going to sleep soon when in actuality he was out with a friend whom he hadn't seen in a while. he left the ticket and receipt on his bed where I clearly saw it. he said he thought id get
mad if I knew he was out when he wasn't feeling well. I'm almost positive this friend is truly just a friend


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't lie.And that's true...infact not lieing gets me into more truble then lieing would sometimes because I'm so blunt I may say something someone doesn't want to hear-but to me that's better then lieing.

    Anyway,it really depends what your view on it is,how much you can tolerate before it affects your trust for that person.

    Me personally,one lie is one lie to many,it might well be something small and insignificant,but if that's the case why lie about it in the first place? No need is there?

    Secoundly if someone can lie about something small,they are more likely to lie about the bigger more important things.

    Trust is hard to gain and so easy to lose,and to me personally lieing is lieing,or else where do you draw the line-i guess that's where you have to decide for yourself-was this an issue which will make you secound guess him in future? can you over look it at no risk to yourself? and would you of done the same to him?

    I think if he told you or left you hints though,kind of makes me say well he didn't have to come clean with you and he did-that counts for something but you need to weigh it up with what he lied about in the first place.


What Guys Said 2

  • I love my girl. Even if she would have said that please don't meet your friend, I would have stopped meeting her because I don't want my love to get uncomfortable. In such case I would talk to her only through phone/SMS/FaceBook. That's it.

    • I could never throw my friends away just a boyfriend asked me especially if they are just friends. I've had best male friend since like 11th grade. he knows everything about me. I couldn't just throw him away

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    • And if it was a lie he did come forward on his own, maybe when he was more ready to admit it. and it wasn't a big lie. One to two isn't that significant and he has been tested. so yeah. I want to trsut him. I believe he cares for me. so I just want it to work

    • Go ahead. Trust him. :-)

  • Lying to me in any way, turns me off. You never know when he lies. How can you trust such a person. e.g. A boy already has a girlfriend, but he finds this girl sweltering & therefore proposes her, to which she says "Yes". But before saying Yes, she had asked him whether he has any girlfriend, to which the boy says No. Imagine the situation that the girl will go through once she finds out that he was lying.

    The above example is not forgivable. Also, to hide one lie, you have to say other lies as well. And this goes deeper & is incessant.

    But if he lies for something which is trivial, then that lie is forgivable.

    • He lied and said he was home when he was out with a friend. he said he wasn't feeling well and thought id get mad if I knew he was out and he really didn't want to even be out, but he hadnt seen a friend in a while and so to make the friend happy they went out then saw a movie. he admitted it to me later after he elft his ticket and reciept on the bed for me to pick up. I know he wasn't out at some club or doing drugs..but he still shouldnt have lied

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    • Well, if I were to meet my school friend who is a girl, I would not have met her without taking my girlfriend along with me. Don't worry, your reaction is normal. If he has lied to you previously a number of times & you haven't liked that on some major issues like these, I don't think this lie is forgivable.

    • He normally he tells me ...or so I thought. the only other significant thing I think he has lied about was he said he had sex with one girl unprotected, but it was actually two. like he told me he thought he said two. He has been tested and both girls were significant gfs, like girls he had been dating one yr+. so I guess I can't blame him

What Girls Said 7

  • We're all human and we all make mistakes. I guess it all depends on what he lied about. If he lied about something "I'll stop smoking" but secretly does it behind my back and I find out, it's easy to let go. But, if he lies about where he's going/has been when he's out with the boys for a night, that will be harder to let go and forgive because it makes you think he's done something he shouldn't have. I guess everyone draws their own personal line when it comes to that.

    • He lied and said he was home when he was out with a friend. he said he wasn't feeling well and thought id get mad if I knew he was out and he really didn't want to even be out, but he hadnt seen a friend in a while and so to make the friend happy they went out then saw a movie. he admitted it to me later after he left his ticket and reciept on the bed for me to pick up(which was weird). he still shouldnt have lied

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    • Was this friend male or female?

    • Female. and I'm alsmost positive they are just friends. you can read my conversation with the guy above for more details on that. like they have been friends since 9th grade. they see each other like once a month, if that. he has told me before when he has hung out with her

  • I would forgive him. Everyone lies, but you can't fully let him get away with it.

    If you don't have trust you don't have anything.

    Make sure he knows that!

    Nobody deserves being lied to but unfortunately it happens.

    Lie to me once, shame on you.

    Lie to me twice, shame on me.

    If you catch him lying to you again, after he knows it hurts you.

    Kick him to the curve, because he is just wasting your time of day.

    • Oh we've already talked about it and how he is on strike two out of three. I think the issue was although I explained to him before how much I hate lying that he didn't believe it. Like he thought his lie would hurt me(he lied and went out with a friend when he said he'd stay home), when in fact lying hurt much worse. Hopefully he gets it this time.

      Like I've lied to him then admitted the truth. It wasn't anything significant and id never cheat or lie about anything significant.

    • Well as long as he knows that if he is going to lie to you again there will be problems.


  • I wouldn't. If he lies about one thing he is lying about other things. And there is no line. Yeah, maybe he just lied about what color shoes he's wearing this time, but what will it be next time? It starts off small and gets bigger and bigger. So he lied about going to the bar last night. Why did he lie? What was he really doing? It doesn't matter how big or small the lie is. The fact is that it breaks the trust and from that point forward you will be left questioning everything he says. You can't have a relationship that way.

    • So you're personally saying youve never lied?

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    • Completely agree

    • This guy lied to you about hanging out with another girl. Friend or not he hid that they were together. That right there, to me, is cheating. Whether they did anything or not. So he lied about being with a girl. Why? Because he thought you'd be upset. If he thought you'd be upset he must be doing something you don't know about that WOULD upset you. He lied about where and who he was with. What else did he lie about? Maybe he didn't only go to the movies. I'm guessing he's lying about more

  • This doesn't apply to every situation but I always used to think once somebody lied to you, never trust them again that's it chance blown. But the more I think about it I always give people second chances to prove themselves wrong and me, however if they break this chance aswell then for me that's it.

    Just try and put yourselfes in that situation and ask yourself maybe ther's actually a reason they lied. Everone deserves a second chance, then at least you know you did your best and that's all you can do. Its better to regret giving them a second chance then wondering what could have happened if you did. x

  • Depends on what they lied about. Some lies can be forgiven others can not.

    • I put an update on what he lied about or you can read my convo with the guy above

    • Yea, I think that one can be forgiven but that still wasn't right.

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