What do I do about a self conscious boyfriend?

[hetha3]

ok so here's the deal...

he doesn't even have a reason to be self conscious he is cute and has a great body and he has a great personality

he always thinks I don't like the way he looks and he always thinks that I don't want to talk to him ...

he isn't my boyfriend yet but before I start dating him ...

i want to get rid of this problem...

what do you think I should do?

[xogreek]

Okay, let's get something clear here before I give you an answer. I wish I could put this in bold so caps will just have to do: YOU CAN'T GET RID OF HIS PROBLEM, ONLY HE CAN. Now this problem is a common attractive boy problem, a lot of good looking boys have self esteem issues for a few reasons, A) the think all they have are good looks and nothing else or B) they see flaws in themselves no one else does. A problem like this is something you have to consider before taking the plunge to date him, ask yourself a few questions. Because if it really bothers you, you won't be able to be in a healthy relationship.

Ask yourself, how unhappy does his problem make me? can I live with it? if I do date [insert boy name here] will he make me feel unsatisfied because of his self confidence issue? It's really important to consider how it will make you feel throughout the relationship. Now as far as he is concerned, all he can do is work on it... go see a therapist, talk about it with you, a parent or a close friend. Because truly for him to get through the barrier of self confidence issues and truly be happy with himself, he must complete the journey of self change.

But, if you do choose to be with him during the process, you could be a real guiding role model for him. And you could be just what he needs, but like I said before don't try and change him; just be there for him. Also consider if this is a boy you can't to be with, because looks, a great body and insecurities are also signs of playboy, and he could be depressed (but that's a whole other story). Best of Luck, J

[Panamanian_11550]

Tell him.!

Tell him that you are attracted to him, and he has no reason to be self-conscious.!

Guys like a little reassurance though.! Sometimes it's cute when a guy does that.

Also let him know that confidence is sexy, but not to mistake it for cockieness, cause if he acts cocky like nothing is wrong, and he gets too close and his breath stinks, then that's a MAJOR turn-off.! Actually stinky breath is one period.! lol

But back to my point. Set a standard for him to climb. Like a wall. Tell him confidence is sexy, and that confident guys attract you.! Simple.! :))

But ask him what he has to be that way for, and reassure him.

Or maybe secretly get some friends to tell him that he is cute.! That might boost his confidence a lil.!

Hope this helps a lil.! Good luck.!

[MANtis]

if he's really convinced in his insecurity, then there's nothing you really can do besides be a good partner and correct his ass when he tries to put himself down. Tell him that he's being silly when he says he's not attractive, and use your relationship with him as proof. In the end you can only be kind and help him out, he's the one who has to make the main change towards confidence.

[Gerrard4000]

Tell him that YOU think he's good looking and all the other things! The more he hears it the more he'll believe it. Don't overdo it though or he'll get cocky!