Guys, if you're hugging a female friend why would you nuzzle your cheek on hers? Is that friendly or romantic?

[Anonymous]

My crush and I had a long tight hug about a week ago and he started rubbing his cheek on mine. He hadn't done that before. This happened between classes, so we had to go. It felt like we were about to kiss for the first time, besides a one time cheek kiss he gave me.

Since then the hugs have stopped. He hugs guy friends but not me, even though I kinda pouted and acted hurt about it.

Why would he not want to hug me anymore? He clearly was enjoying it since he initiated the nuzzling stuff and squeezed me really tightly and I let go first.

My feelings are really hurt but I'm not going to beg him to hug me. I don't know how to act around him now. I told him I miss the hugs but I'm not going to push it.

He still always sits by me, doesn't pay attention to any other girls, pokes me, nudges me, stands either right in front me or right by my side. When we talk we always maintain eye contact and we sit silently sometimes and just hold eye contact. . It's weird and intense.

He talks about sexual things a lot with me too.

[BertMacklinFBI]

no that's a romantic gesture IMO. I wouldn't do it to a girl I don't think of in that sense. otherwise its just awkwardddddd

[Asker]

So they why would he not want to hug me again? Is he afraid of having feelings for a friend and maybe I don't feel the same way?

[BertMacklinFBI]

he doesn't want to hug you again? maybe he's getting too attached or he feels he's sending off mixed signals

[Asker]

No, not since then. I have told him I'm not happy about it and he just acts immature like he's not hugging me on purpose now to annoy me. He's very passive aggressive about withholding attention and affection.

[BertMacklinFBI]

just ignore him then, he'll feel bad/awkward and most likely come around.

[Asker]

I told him today that I was mad at him and asked if he knew why. He guessed a lot of stupid stuff, which was funny, then when we were finally alone after school I told him that it was because he hadn't hugged me lately. I guess he didn't think I meant it when I said the same thing before. Anyway, we hugged but it was quick because he had to go. I think things will be okay now. Even without the hugs he still touches me a lot, pokes me, bumps arms, elbows, etc. He also still hangs out with me any time he can during the day, leans in to talk, always looks right in my eyes when we talk and loves to tease me and make me mad, so I think we're back to normal, lol!

[Asker]

I was so wrong! He texted me over the weekend bc I said I wanted more attention and some hugs and texts. He asked "happy now?" when he texted me and I asked if he wanted me to be happy or if he was just appeasing me. He said "I want you to be happy!" but then today, no hug. I was pissed and he asked if it was because he didn't hug me. I didn't answer and he started squeezing my forearm. He still pokes me and gives me little touches but no hugs and no reason why. Today he hugged a girl I know he hates and then said he needed a hug but I didn't offer. He still wants to tell me about what he's up tp and acts like we're fine but he knows I'm mad.

Is this worth losing a friendship over? I've really had it with being pissed at him for treating me like shit. He's cried before because I told him he hurt me and he's made me cry and he knows it. He says we're in an intimate relationship but we've never kissed. What does this mean? I don't think I can be his friend if he can't even hug me.

[BertMacklinFBI]

that's really weird, why does he just stop hugging all of the sudden? wait so what is intimate relationship exactly? bf and gf? can you define what that means?

[HeartsBloodDupre]

You two are seriously going to lose a friendship over a hug?

[Asker]

I have no idea what he meant by the intimate relationship part. But things are really awkward and stiff now and I really don't want to see him or talk to him anymore. And yes, if he can't do one basic thing for me after all I've done for him, I am totally ready to dump his as a friend because a real friend would either A) explain what was going on and why he didn't want to hug me anymore or B) realize that such a small thing is just easier to do to save a friendship.

[BertMacklinFBI]

I see your point why you would be willing to just opt out. well intimate relationship could seriously mean nothing but the words itself when he tells you that. what it means to him i'll bet it doesn't comprehend the same to you. if you don't wanna talk to him right now then don't, just mind your own business and do your own thing and give yourself time to cool off a bit and clear your mind, do some self-reflecting.

[Asker]

He came over to me today at lunch and asked me how I was and if I needed a hug. I said "really?" because we'd already had our class together and I was pretty pissed at him. Anyway, I was sitting down and he just basically draped himself over me and gave me a really nice hug, so all's good! I asked him what was up with him lately and he said he's just been working and was really tired. I guess I'm just overreacting. Happens, I guess.

[BertMacklinFBI]

I just wanna say, "working and tired" is a bullshit excuse. I just wanted you to know that for the future if a more serious matter comes up lol. but hey im so glad for you! :D everything is happy again! ^-^

[Asker]

I totally agree! Another reason he frustrates me so much is that he's a moody little f'er! I never know which personality is going to show up and I see him first thing every morning and we're all pretty tired. But come the f on, you can still sleepily hug someone! That is total bs! Maybe he is just on a hug power trip, if that's a thing. I think he likes to play games because the only reason I like him so much is because he pursued me si hard. Now it seems like he has the upper hand because he knows how much I like him and that I get pissed if I don't get enough attention from him. We can be pretty immature about how we interact at times. I really hate playing games and just want him to be nice and affectionate all the time. God know I've done enough shit for him the least he can do is give me a freaking hug without making me beg and feel stupid. Maybe he feels like it has to be his idea. I've told him I only want he's the is freely willing to give.

[BertMacklinFBI]

hahaa hey its all good and more power to you. you're right, no matter how tired you are is a hug really that much of a hassle? especially if you care about the person! amirite? hahaa. but he gets the picture now and i think he's learned something valuable about you and he is cherishing it now:)

[BertMacklinFBI]

ooh noice:D TyvM!:) *hugs hugs hugs* :D :D lol ^-^

[Asker]

I sure hope so! Not to brag, but I'm pretty and have big boobs, so why wouldn't any normal guy want a hug? He has asked me to be his pillow, soo... Also, would a guy ask about whether you had an innie or an outie just out of curiosity? Seems like a weird question. I'm not about to whip my shirt up in school to show it off. I know lots of girls have belly rings but that's not me.

[BertMacklinFBI]

hahaa its cool! don't worry about not bragging:) umm i think its a little strange but its not really that bad considering you two know each other pretty damn well so i think you're fine on all accounts. its up to you:D

[Asker]

Just wondering, how did you get to be a guru when you're so young?

[BertMacklinFBI]

my guru status doesn't mean anything hahaa :D

[Asker]

Haha! How did you get it, then? Are you advising people 24/7?

[BertMacklinFBI]

well im pretty active during the weekdays. i multitask like hard! and i just keep making opinions. it takes i think 20,000 xper points to hit a guru status :D

[Asker]

Wow! Dumb q, but I assume you like Parks and Rec?

[BertMacklinFBI]

i love Parks and Recreation. what gave it away? hahaa :D

[Asker]

I watch that show over and over again! I love that it's basically a nice show where people aren't cutting on each other like most shows. Well, except for Jerry, obviously! Lol!

Anyway, I texted my guy last night and he texts me back asking how to prevent a hangover, then sends me a pic of him holding a bottle of wine, which he says he drank on an empty stomach. No revealing drunk texts, tho, but at least we're talking. I can't wait to see how rough he looks this morning! Ha ha

[BertMacklinFBI]

hahaa I have that show on repeat on Netflix all the time even though im not watching it, its good background noise :D :D :D

hahaa we'll see how he feels. tell him eating a bowl of pho has been known to help hangovers.

[Asker]

Ha ha! He looked pretty bad today and wanted the lights off and everyone to be quiet! He told me he wanted to get drunk because he found out (from an acquaintance!!) that his mom was going to have a hysterectomy soon. How weird she told other people before she told him. Let's just say they have an odd relationship. Sometimes he calls me mom when I do nice things for him, so maybe things are never going anywhere, but then he still sits all pressed up against me, so who knows? I'm about to give up, lol!

[BertMacklinFBI]

hahaa well I wouldn't let the mom comment get to you. it could've just been a compliment with nothing attached to it. don't give up if you really don't want too!:D

[Asker]

Thanks for the encouragement! He is truly a head case and I don't even know why I bother sometimes. Honestly, if he hadn't pursued me so hard initially, I never would have even thought about him that way. Now I kinda feel like I got had because I like him more than he likes me, maybe, again who knows?

[BertMacklinFBI]

I see what you mean. you two seem to kinda be on the teeter totter. maybe just go with the flow for now and see how things pan out. you're still damn young lol. you got time:D

[Asker]

He hung out with me during lunch again and insisted that I stand up so we could hug. I asked him if we could do it without him wearing his backpack since I felt like I was hugging a turtle! Then we hung out after school at one of the clubs we're both in and I gave him a ride home. When I dropped him off he wanted another hug, but he was already facing out of the car, so I had to hug from from behind kind of. I sort of got carried away and put my face on the top of his head like I was going to kiss his head and then I freaked out a little. He laughed and said "that was awkward" and I said "yes, it was" and then he said goodbye, but in a pleasant way, not like oh shit, I have to get out of this car before I get attacked. Do you think he meant awkward because we weren't facing each other, so it was physically awkward, or emotionally awkward? Is awkward bad? Now I'm thinking I screwed up and scared him somehow. Neither of us has mentioned the cheek nuzzling which was way more awkward.

[BertMacklinFBI]

I think he just meant the angle was awkward not the moment because he did say goodbye in a normal way. it thought that was really cute, hugging him from behind lol.

[Asker]

Okay, good, cause I freak out a lot thinking I'm going to do something over eager because I've fantasized a million times about that exact scenario of him being in my car but instead of him just getting out, we kiss goodbye and then start making out, lol. He seems to be walking away or facing away a lot when I want to hug him, weird. But I am psyched that he is giving up the hugs. In our class today we were pressing our legs against each other's under the table and I know he knows this is happening because he teased me about something and bumped my knee with his to emphasize his point but no one else knew what was going on.

I know I will give him more rides because his mom is weird and won't let him drive even though he's 18 and has his permit already. What do you think I should do next time I drop him off to get a real kiss?

[BertMacklinFBI]

hahaa you two are cute:D doing all these cute things together its like a freakin movie that I wanna be the star in LOL. for the next ride, if you want that kiss then get him to look in your direction, make eye contact and hold it! and just look at him what delight and desire and he will feel the same, then you two should naturally start moving closer to each other that leads up to a kiss. wow it sounds just like a movie lol.

[Asker]

Based on all I've told you so far, is it possible that I could do something that would freak him out? It sucks because we are so close but I don't know exactly how he feels and when we fight I want to ask him but then we make up so I just enjoy it. When I type this it sounds like we are already dating. I mean we fight because he's a dick, I tell him he's a dick, he apologizes and then we hug it out, over and over. Today he thanked me for my support because I'm always helping him deal with his crazy mom and I told him he has my unconditional love and support. Is that a normal friend thing to say, or was that a big give away that I'm in love with him? I don't want to overwhelm him if he's not ready for that, but I've thought about it and if I keep loving him in spite of his problems I must love him unconditionally because he can be a real dick at times! He must have feelings for me if he keeps finding ways to be around me. He could get rides from other friends.

[BertMacklinFBI]

everything I know so far, yeah there's possibly something you can do to freak him out but its not likely and I think you're too smart for that. just don't become that girl that clings onto him and tries to control him and his own life ya know and you will be perfectly fine. you telling him that he has your unconditional love and support is way more than a friendzone gesture, to me at least, and it really depends on how you said it, your enthusiasm at the moment you said it. its not really a friend thing to say in your situation. just show how great you are and truly shine out there and he will notice it, he obviously does like being around you because like you said he can get rides from someone else.

[Asker]

I thought seeing him today might be awkward but it wasn't too weird. We didn't do the knees under the table thing and there was no hugging, but lots of intense eye contact and he was playing with my bracelet, which he hasn't done in a while. I tried to act like nothing was going on but I saw other people watching him do it and kind of looking oddly at him. I was reading about how sexual tension is often mistaken for awkwardness and how goodbyes or greetings can be really awkward. Maybe the fact that he thought it was awkward means he realizes there are things going on between us that we
don't ever talk about. We had a minute alone and I could have asked for a hug but I think it's best to take a step back after things got kind of intense. Is this push - pull thing real? I hate games but sometimes it makes sense to cool off for a bit.

[BertMacklinFBI]

cooling off for a bit is totally fine, it doesn't hurt really. you just gotta do with your instinct sometimes and it pays off most of the time. honestly right now all I would do is just go with the flow, don't force anything and just enjoy the moments for what they are. it takes time to reveal, uncover, discover and experience new things so let that time pass and just enjoy the now:)

[Asker]

Yeah, good advice. I'm totally happy just enjoying any time together. He came to see me at lunch again and lay his head down on the table in front of me, so I petted his head and face. He seemed to enjoy it! We will be spending lots more time after school together during the winter and I'm sure there will be more car rides and bus rides for our team ( even better bc I don't have to watch the road, lol),
so I'm stoked.

I said the thing about unconditional love bc he is really insecure and said he feels unworthy of love. He tests me and pushes me away a lot, which I'm sick of, so I'm hoping if I keep telling him I love him, we can avoid all the fighting, getting hurt and making up drama.

Thanks sooo much for all your help! :)

[BertMacklinFBI]

damit you two are so cute together!^-^ wish a girl treated me like that from time to time hahaa. I feel like you two have something special in between each other. I hope to see it spark into something amazing one day:D honestly I think whatever you do it will be the right decision because you're a smart girl and you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. that unconditional love comment was extremely sweet. I wish you well on this long journey and adventure!:)

[Asker]

Thanks! More head petting and knee touching today and he insisted on hugging me but then asked "Are you happy now?" in kind of a smart ass way, so I don't know about that. According to the all-knowing Internet, any kind of teasing is good, so I'm okay with it. I just asked him if he had to be a dick and he said no, so I said then don't be. He said he just wanted to make sure I was happy. :)

[BertMacklinFBI]

hahaa it all sounds good:D and yeah you know he's just going back and forth a bit to keep it interesting, going to the extreme he would most likely assume it might set you off eventually so he's just trying to play his cards right when he says stuff like that :D

[Asker]

Yeah, I think he just wants to keep me guessing, ha ha. He still hangs out with me every day after lunch in the lib where we can talk by ourselves and finds me several times during the day for "no reason", so if he is choosing to spend time with just me that has to be good! Now he's started being really pretend condescending, like acting like I'm too dumb to use Google, so he has to "show me" or he was reading a book and I asked him what it was and he starts describing what a book is in general, like paper bound together, etc. He's just being a playful ass, which is pretty fun! :)

His dad bought him a car :( but still just has his temps and only about 2 hrs of road time, so I hope he'll need more rides ;) Plus, I've already told him he owes me tons of rides and he agreed.

He just seems to keep "showing up"
where I am, so that makes me happy. He just texted me a pic of his car! XD!!!

[BertMacklinFBI]

honestly everything seems to be going so well:D it all sounds good! hehee. don't know what more I could say cause there isn't really anything bad to mention!:D

[Asker]

He asked me what to name his car! :D

[BertMacklinFBI]

hey thats a good sign IMO!!! hahaa! what you wanna name it? make it an inside joke or something! :)

[Asker]

Haha! My nickname for him is troublemaker! It's a really old car, so that could be good or bad, lol.

[Klaatu51]

i don't use to hug any girls, i prefer giving them a handshake

[Anonymous]

Piece of advice, ask him out instead of playing games lol because he clearly likes you back. If you keep playing games you will get no where.

[hsshannah96]

He is infatuated with you