Guys: can you have feelings for more than one girl at the same time?

[meemo]

Hey , someone told me that the difference between girls and guys is that when a girl has feelings for someone he has to be the only one, she developes feelings for another guy only when she forgets about the first one.
But guys can have feelings for more than one girl at the same time (even though he knows the one who's the most special to him) but still he feels for other girls.
Been wondering how true is that?
Thanks :)

[sawno]

I dont think there is a difference between girls and guys on this.
Feelings are feelings, they can be tied to one specific person, moved over, be tied to multiple people or just be there without being tied to anyone at all.

In the past i managed to move them away from the girls i love so i was able to stay friends without being hurt. Ever since they still come back but they are for nobody, its the kind of lonely broken feeling full of desire for someone that isn't there that hurts quite bad.

I came up with a simple trick to see who your feelings are for if they are for someone at all.
When your feelings have toned down a bit that day look at the picture of someone you assume they are for, if they increase they are tied to that person. If nothing happens they are just there.

[meemo]

Sadly I tried that! it was after not talking to him for a couple od months and I had deleted his number and pics from my phone. so I went to my computer and just as I clicked the open button on his pic it was like someone has ripped my heart off my chest and stepped on it! But he isn't worth it.. so I guess I need a trick to get over someone? Lol

[sawno]

I need to know a bit more about your situation to give you good advice.
Feel free to message me on this if you don't want to share it in public.
Are you already with someone new? Or do you just try to get over your old love?

[meemo]

Thank you for that. I just sent you a message.

[Anonymous]

Its the slightly the same on both sides. when a girl likes a guy she focuses all her feelings on him. she may be attracted to others in some way but since feelings drive girls (the decent ones at least), she sticks with who she has. Guys on the other hand aren't driven by feelings, so yes we can like numerous girls at one time, its our nature to keep our options open, but if we really do like one particular girl, we don't focus our "feelings" on her, we just reciprocate the feelings she sends our way while ignoring every other girl. Guys feel, true, but we aren't driven by it.

[meemo]

Ok.. So can that nature you're talking about cause you to not admit you care for that one girl just because you don't want to lose your freedom? You just flirt with her (to stop her from being with someone else) but you never make a serious fisrt move on her?

[Opinion Owner]

Oh I'm talking about reciprocating to someone that you are with already. but if you mean a single guy liking numerous girls. thats automatic. If we like a girl and we know she likes us back, the only thing that may stop us from admitting it to her is if there is another girl out there, and she likes us too. then thats where we have to make a choice. some guys choose to play both girls, some pick one but string the other along, and some pick one and reciprocate her feelings. the concept of freedom is not big to us, as far as we are concerned, we are always free. we just choose to do things that will make our SO happy.
to summarize... no that nature doesn't stop us, freedom is not an issue for us at this point.
it doesn't stop us from making a serious move but we first have to choose from those three options i mentioned earlier.

[meemo]

That's right. There is a girl who likes him too.
So I decided to take a step back and let him be (if he cares he'll try to contact me).
Thanks for answering :)

[Opinion Owner]

you sneaky little girl, you placed it as a general question when it pertained to you lol, good one. nice wordplay.

[meemo]

Haha.. yes it's about me ! but it's not something I'm proud to give details about so :p
But thanks for appreciating the effort. lol :)

[Opinion Owner]

well details help if you want better opinions/advice. well at least for me.

[meemo]

Well.. after being friends for a few years he initiated flirting and hinting that he likes me and I did the same.. this lasted for a whole year without him making a move forward (not to mention his weird mood changes every now and then) it's like he's interested then he's not then he's interestes again... etc.
So when I realized it's pointless (especially that there is a girl who likes him and is trying to get him for a while now) and i know that he can't make up his mind. So I backed off and stoped initiating texting and messaging believing that if he cares enough he'll contact me. (I refuse to be an option no matter how much I like him).

[Opinion Owner]

thanks for the vote. sadly, you still will be an option. its just that this time, you actually KNOW you are and choose not to be for this ONE guy. If it makes you feel better, guys are usually options too... its just the way it is.

[meemo]

Well I'm not going to be anymore.
Thanks again for your answer.

[Opinion Owner]

welcome.

[DragonWolf]

well, i also have feelings for more than 1 guy to be honest...
but yeah i also haven't forgotten about my first love :)

[meemo]

Aha.. nice :p

[DragonWolf]

there always is 1 i care more about though

[meemo]

Hope you end up together then :)
Thanks for answering :)

[DragonWolf]

yeah well, kinda am going through some hard stuff atm, but yeah...
and no problem =)

[pionneer]

its ridiculous to think that girls would be different to men on this. Its perfectly possible for a person to have feelings for more than one person at any given time and for those feelings to be very genuine. Might not be morally right but it is possible.

When you are happy with someone you are less likely to be looking at others but that doesn't mean that part of you has just shut down.

[meemo]

Have a point. Thanks :)

[molan]

It's not true, both man and women can have feeling for only one or more than one.

It's not based on gender but personality. When in love both men and women tends to interested only in. the one', however when interested but not in love then more than one is very common.

So it's more about being in love or not than anything else.

[meemo]

That's logical. Thank you for answering :)

[DodgersGM]

Me personally? No. When I have feelings for someone it's like that part of me shuts off to other women, all of it being channeled to her and her alone.

[meemo]

Oh how sweet.. your gf is lucky to have you :)

[DodgersGM]

That is kind, thank you. :-)

[MarkyyG123]

Yes, it is true for some guys, not all though. In my case when it comes to my girlfriend I have only eyes for one girl and always will (even though she drives me completely insane hahaha)

[meemo]

Haha every couple drives each other insane.. that's the point of being a couple :p
Hops it lasts for you :)

[MarkyyG123]

:O And here I was thinking I was alone in this insanity hahaha ;)
And I thank you :) I wish you all the best in your future and current relationships :)
What made you ask this question, if you don't mind me asking? :)

[meemo]

Thank you :)
Well, there's a guy I knew for years as a friend when he suddenly started flirting with me, asking my opinion about things he wants to buy, texting me, making loong eye contact with me... etc. so I replied the same (cause we have so much in common that it 's like he's a male version of me!! Lol) but he suddenly started to lessen the eye contact and not initiate texting and atuff like that.. it's been a year of on and off hinting and flirting but I knew that there's a girl who likes him and is trying to get him so I backed off and dscided that he'd contact me if he cares. he notices I'm talking to an old friend (who I know is in love with me but I never felt the same) so he starts asking our friends about me.. checking my accounts every chance he got but still not contacting me. That's why I was asking :/

[MarkyyG123]

Ohh I see. Yeah you've done the right thing and backed off. If he does get back to you, then yes, I'd say he does like you but what he's doing is wrong. I would say stay away from him but your friends and close ones at that so asking that is impossible, just be careful alright :)

[meemo]

Yep that what I decided to do.. because he can't make up his mind and I refuse fo be an option (no matter how much I care about him)
Thank you again :)

[MarkyyG123]

Glad to hear it :) and as you should, he should realise what he's doing or he isn't worth your effort, your love and your care altogether

No worries, your more than welcome :) I wish you all the best and I hope it works out for you. If you have any questions or anything at all, you know where to find me :)

[meemo]

Thank you for that :)

[Oladeji123]

For me, yes. I like that though cause it makes me more confident to talk to the girl i like the most as i know that if it doesn't work out. There are other girls I'm interested in

[meemo]

Wow. I don't approve on leaving other girls on the shelf untill you need them but Ok. Good luck for you.

[Oladeji123]

Lol. You're making me sound bad. I don't see it as leaving them on the shelf. As girls say, 'i like to keep my options open'. Plus I'm really shy to talk to the girl i like so that helps me

[meemo]

I'm sorry :) but it's the way us girls think. Actually this is why I stopped talking to the guy I think I might be in love with! Because after a year of dlirting and hints he still wouldn't make a move. And because he's talking to another girl who likes him and is trying to get him! I felt he's leaving me on the shelf untill he decides which one of us he's really into.
I still can't get him off my mind but I'd never initiate contacting him.
I think its maybe that guys and girls think differently most od the times

[Oladeji123]

Well if i was in that situation and i knew a girl i liked liked me back, then i would not have other girls in my mind. She would be the only one i would be thinking about

[meemo]

Yep.. he can't make up his mind! Better force myself to move on.
Thank you for answering :)

[Oladeji123]

Np :) there'll be plenty of other guys for you

[meemo]

That's sweet. Thank you :)

[nerdyasianman14]

Yes its true. When I have developed feelings, is only for one special woman. I would do anything for her, and her alone until the day I die.

[meemo]

That's sweet. Good for her :)

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

No, if I'm seeing a girl more than another, the girl I'm seeing more of I definitely have more feelings for, if she acts up, the other chick? I'm suddenly more available to watch chick flicks and ballet

[TheYellowBear]

I have had feelings for more than one girl in the past.

[meemo]

And how did you finally choose? What made you know that she was the most special to you?

[TheYellowBear]

I didn't choose any of them as I didn't think it was fair to be one girl when I wanted to be with the other two equally.

I believe you should only have eyes for one girl and be with that one girl.

[meemo]

True.
Thank you for answering :)

[Anonymous]

I don't see how people can't have feelings for more than one person of the opposite sex. Some react on it and some don't. I have in the past but I don't act upon those feelings anymore.

[meemo]

Then how do you know you care for someone?

[Opinion Owner]

I just know. It is a feeling of wanting to hold and love and protect them.

[meemo]

That's nice.
Thank you :)

[Opinion Owner]

:)
You are quite welcome girl

[1timeuser]

Can't believe nobody mentioned, but this is called polygamy. Go check reddit. com/r/polyamory and their FAQ page reddit. com/r/polyamory/wiki/faq.

p. s. made an account just to reply to this

[1timeuser]

make sure to connect "reddit" with ". com" because this website is prohibiting inserting links if you don't have enough xp or something.

[meemo]

Lol I think there is a slight difference here! He couldn't possibly be expecting anyone to approve to that!

[Klaatu51]

of course it's posible. both for guys and girls

[tOi_sOldier]

i have feelings for all the girls in the world

[meemo]

Lol, you sure have a big heart!!

[tOi_sOldier]

yeah a very big heart :P

[Anonymous]

I try to stay interested in one girl at a time.