So guys, how can I get rid of this creep? I don't feel like I can report him to the gym since he's just staring. Should I confront him or will it make it worse?
Sorry for the loooooong explanation!
Stupid ingrained manners. ***facepalm*** #imscrewed
1. For one you can't do anything about him not especially after the ingrained manners that you have (I feel you on that lol)
2. Your 'dirty look' at him probably got misconstrued for your attraction to him or he just likes a woman who's feisty (a lot of such characters do - they like the idea of subduing her, makes them feel in control)
3. Staring too can be a misdemeanor and you can well report it to the gym management and sure you got cameras there so they can check the recording.
4. But strategize it. Since he latches on to you i. e. follows you where you work out, pick on a completely different body part to workout than what he's doing. If he's doing upper body you latch onto lower body so that your workout areas are completely different and he has no reason to follow you.
5. Be random - The moment he comes next to you and starts working out, drop what you are doing and go to opposite end of the gym and pick on something else. This way if he follows you, there's proof in the recording that he's doing nothing but beginning to stalk you.
6. Next time he cat calls you, yell out loud at him REAL LOUD asking him to lay off. But keep your car door open so that you can get in fast if he decides to go one step further
7. After all this if he still persists get the cops and a restraining order. By now you have enough proof and witnesses
8. This character is just the beginning of a stalker, better action now and be safe than sorry :)
Did I surpass length of the question with this opinion, well my apologies too for the looooong answer ;-)
I love it all! I don't mind your in depth, well thought out answers. Thank you for your opinion 😊
My pleasure beautiful girl :-) always and forever :)
And honestly, I don't blame a guy losing control around you lol - I don't find the situation amusing however, please allow me to assure you of that :)
@dudeman no intention of arguing over this buddy but staring when you find someone attractive and beginning to stalk that person knowing well you are doing so, running after her on every move she makes etc is not just a misdemeanor but a crime :-) girls with lesser resolve could well wind up with a therapist with someone doing this
Do you have a gym buddy you can go with? Or maybe you can befriend another girl at the gym... ask her if this creep stares at her too and together you can just laugh at him.
If not then I think it's perfectly fine for you to report him. You pay good money to work out there and the last thing the 'gym' wants is for you to feel uncomfortable at the expense of another member. (Your a valued customer)
'Cat calling' is not acceptable this is inappropriate behaviour for gym members especially when you have made it clear you have no interest.
I workout half of the time with other people. Maybe we'll try the laughing thing lol
Something girls will probably understand better than guys with this one is that it really does become a hostile environment when someone gives you unwelcome attention all the time like that. I used to deal with these 2 guys hovering around me making comments, and being the stubborn headstrong person I am, wanted to deal with it myself. So I ignored it and ignored it until one day it got to the point that I was caught somewhere between furious and wanting to run and hide. I made a comment about how I noticed I can do more pullups than they can, so maybe they better do some work? And honestly, it just made it all worse! I think maybe because they knew they had gotten to me? I don't know. But what definitely DID work was a couple quick words from my enormous friend who I brought to the gym with me. Not proud that I needed a man to fight that battle for me, but I never felt even the slightest bit uncomfortable after that. So how about bringing a friend with you? Or made any friends at the gym? I find that the regulars in the more crowded gym I'm at now tend to have each other's backs.
Good advice, I'm glad you understand!
I take Karate and guys outnumber the girls 2 to 1.
I have never experienced that there.
These guys are totally respectful.
:)
@crazyincalifornia, martial arts is actually my profession so I'm physically capable of dealing with him. I just don't want it to escalate to that point lol
You seem like a very confident woman, I like that ☺
Lol. You're too cute fezziwig 😄
When you are inside doing your workout, Bellegirl21, Ignore him and do Not pay him any mind. With this, even a "Dirty face" will keep him coming back for more, maybe even give him a rise in his levis And-----He can't take a hint. Keep your eyes to yourself, just pretend he doesn't exist. If he is not Approaching you in the gym, then chances are he is smart enough enough to know where his boundaries lie.
However, outside the area, he may think he has more reins, so best thing to do, if it was me, is make sure you are accompanied by someone, maybe another friend who is a guy, a few girls, to really give him the 'Hint' That he hasn't a chance in hell here.
Of course, if he should ever carry this further, report him immediately to the police. If he should follow you home, harass you on the street, just anything where you could get a restraining order slapped at his perverted puss.
Good luck, stay safe. xx
Thanks! This is so far what I have been doing 😊
Talk to him when there are other people. And talk to the manager or someone at the gym. Usually very strong looking men are working there lol so you can let them know about it. Or call police if he escalates -_____- or warn him you will report him to the police.
I would kick his butt 👠👠
Come kick his butt for me mei!!!
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I'd let the management know that his staring is beyond "just a glance" and that it's not the typical checking out. Then tell them the last straw is the cat calling in the parking lot so they know you're not making a big deal out of nothing. Just point him out when he's there so they know to keep an eye on him. Other than that unless he makes an even more blatant approach it's tough to deal with because mosta the staring can be brushed off as just "working out in the same area." Also make sure you're pointing him out to someone management level or beyond. Most typical gym staff I see nowadays don't really care if they're just a desk clerk of some sort.
Very good advice thanks.
No prob. I am a gym goer also and know how some guys can be. The gym I go to now doesn't seem to have anywhere near as much as what I have seen in planet fitness gyms where I'll see someone trying to chat a girl up on the treadmill and all that or a guy trying to get me to check girls out when he is married and I am trying to work out.
It gives the decent guys a bad rap :(
Unless you want her to look like a bitch, I wouldn't advise this, maybe he might get offended and try to rape her in the parking lot. She needs a more tactful approach.
I like Raj's points myself. And it wouldn't be a bad idea to have a friend get some cell video of him stalking you. Also talk to the gym owners. find out from them what they know of him. He may have been bothering other girls before you got there who knows. Maybe they need just one reason to tell him he's banned without saying who. And from your picture you're easy to admire, seriously. ask the management. You might find he's a total creep or a really cool guy. Bringing it up with management isn't the same is a formal complaint. also get a look at his car, that shows financial level, and if it's clean or cluttered, smoker. Most people that hit the gym don't drive a cluttered hoopty with a full ashtray. Get a brief profile on him and let us know. I don't like creepy but he sure has good taste!
Thank you very much! I love your ideas too.
Maybe you should talk to him and see if you would like him or not. Who knows, he might be your soulmate. However, if in the first 10 minutes he still gives you the heebee geebees, do the I have a boyfriend drop on him during the convo. "Oh that's cool you go to the Star Trek convention every year and you know how to speak Klingon, my boyfriend and I go to similar things... like Comedy Shows and hard rock cafe" shit like that. If he still doesn't get the hint, find some guy if you don't have a boyfriend to go to the gym with you, and flirt with you guy so that way dude doesn't interrupt. Don't you have a guest pass, come on now.
I workout with other guys quite a bit. I'm also married... I'd like to shout that to him from across the floor lol
yea, do the husband drop on him, just be nice, don't make a scene with management, when he comes by say hi, get a convo going and tell him you are married.
You need to call the police and report him i hate to say to resort to that
but you know "cat called" you which is low form of sexual harassment
is getting ready bad... He is creep for sure he keeps staring at you
you can let the owner of the gym know but what happens if the guy
is well known for coming there they won't want lose business but you
shouldn't be groomed by the guy.. That's exactly what he is doing
i know if i was some place getting harassed in any form i would file
a complaint against them with the police...
Thanks for understanding. Some of the guys here think he has every right to do it and I should just get over it!
Your welcome i hope you get this solved cause men who stare/ grooming/ cat calls
is every reason to get law enforcement involved
I see what you mean. The catcalling is taking it too far. I would confront him and ask him to stop, if he doesn't i would get management involved. As far as the staring, 99.99% of all guys have a hard time checking out girls subtly. he could very well have good intentions but get intimidated, i mean you are beautiful and do all those things to "charm you", which is backfiring. You could also maybe change the days or hours you go to the gym to make it easier if u can. Best of luck. P. S. If my advice doesn't work i could recommend u a former Navy seal as a bodyguard
Thanks for the offer 😉
I know it's different because I'm a guy but I had a similar gym experience. There was this hulk dude that used to follow me around and try to start conversation, often inappropriate convo. It doesn't sound that bad but if you give off the vibe that you don't want to talk but they persist it gets weird. In the end I told the management who watched through the glass at his creeping. Apparently this wasn't the first time somebody complained and he didn't get to renew his membership. Weirdos just take advantage if you're too nice!
ughh god... maybe you can get one of your guy friends to be with you? I don't know i'd feel safer that way.
i don't go to the gym but i had to practice in the weight room at school last year for track, and this gross fat ugly creepy guy literally kept staring at my ass... he'd be watching me across the room and then he'd move all his equipment so that it'd be right behind me and just stare, like WHAT THE FUCK MAN. ugh. so fucking nasty. cmon i don't even have an ass. and he kept trying to contact me via social media but i blocked him everywhere. i was a freshman so i was pretty grossed out and scarred ahah
I hope he eventually left you alone?
Oh girl, I have an easy answer for you, not sure if you have the mean attitude that I have lol I would go up to him and tell him, "TF? You got a problem? Quit staring asshole it's fking weird, I'm not comfortable, I don't appreciate your glances & am not flattered!" I'd curse a lot more tbh, but report him and/or talk to the gym manager. I'd be fed up, I have no chill when I'm mad, like seriously. Looking is one thing, staring is another.
This is most likely what I'm going to have to do. I just usually get called cute when I'm mad. Even my 5 year old isn't scared of me lol
I ended up getting mad at a guy in the gym a few months ago and he didn't take it seriously. He said so you're a hot girl that works out and you're cute your mad. He kept staring at me so I ended up talking to the manager of the gym and he told the guy to stop staring at me otherwise he would gag kicked out. It worked.
@xxxSophiexxx Yes, that is the problem, when we end up getting mad it makes us look hot. Like, no I'm being serious here! >_< Did the guy stop or get kicked out?
@Sammy_31 He stopped staring at me.
@xxxSophiexxx Okay good to hear :)
I would approach him when there's people around and tell him that you'd like him to stop staring at you, that it's seriously off putting.
P. S. The people around is for your safety, not to make a spectacle out of it.
Good call. Ugh, I hate awkward situations lol
Talk to him next time and say, "could you give me some space?".
What you consider a dirty look might not look that way to people who don't already know you. Most guys will leave you alone if you ask them to. He might get his pride hurt and be upset, but the gym is a "safe space". Any guy would step in to help is something happens
Thank you :)
Go in the weight room with a bunch of regulars (it'd be best if you're friends with some of them). when he stares or follows you turn to him, give him the WTF face and hand gesture and say, "maybe if you weren't stalking me you'd be able to work on those teeny biceps." Say this really loudly and if you're friends with some guys at the gym tell them the situation beforehand so they can handle him if he doesn't back off.
Ha ha ha love it!
*pulls out baseball bat from the boot of my car* where is he babe? LOL! Ok ok I'm really kidding on that..
I would just full ignore him, I wouldn't even look at him.. I would usually call one of my mates to help me out.. Tell him to come down and "pretend" I'm dating him because some guy is being a creep.. Works everytime.. 🙈
Sounds like a good plan 🙈🙈🙈
Wear unflattering clothes for a while. Try going at different times, if you have a routine going switch it up to lose him. I understand about not wanting to make it worse, but if nothing is working I would inform a staff member. That type of behaviour is basically harassment and if gym management pulled him aside and sternly told him I am sure he would back off. Does this gym have internal surveillance video?
I think they do. Wear clothes that aren't cute 😢?
Sorry, just trying to help.
I'm kidding, you gave great advice. Thanks
Talk to someone who manages the gym or bring a friend (a guy friend if you have one) you shouldn't have to bring someone with you but I'm not sure what else you could do :(
that kind of behavior is creepy and gross and I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
I work out 2 nights wuth girlfriends and I'm around guys at the gym a lot. He doesn't seem deterred. Thank you!
That guy sounds like a douche canoe. Just tell him that you're not comfortable with the way he always stares at you and winks. Also tell him that the cat calling is offensive and inappropriate and needs to stop. Do it when people are around though so you aren't an a potentially dangerous situation. If it doesn't stop, file a sexual harassment complaint with the manager.
A douche canoe lolol 😂
Haha, he's a good reason to use that phrase.
get a t-shirt and print a message on it: "i just wanna work out" or something like that. And don't pay attention to his stares. Just mind your business.
The fact that you've responded to his goodbye. No worries. if he tries more than that next time and asks you something, simply say you don't have time. Saluting is fine, just make sure you don't respond to his questions. He will get the message. Hopefully.
Oh no, you mean he actually had the nerve to hit on you when there were no other big strong males around to protect you? How dare he? He's pretty much the equivalent of a rapist and should be castrated and locked away for life. Men who have the nerve to stare at and talk to women should not be allowed to reproduce and feel the loving touch of a goddess such as yourself. They are vile monsters for making angels like you feel uncomfortable in what is typically already a male dominated space. I mean, it's not like there are tons of women only gyms out there... Oh wait...
I have lots of guys hit on me at the gym. This guy has taken it to an uncomfortable level. And why should I have to go to some crappy all women's gym when he could just stop being such an ass?
Oh, so you COULD go to an all women's gym, but you insist on going to a gym where men work out? Sounds like you probably don't even really work out, you're just going to get gawked at, and complaining because this one guy who gawks at you isn't attractive, or shy about it.
Looks like I struck a nerve. Probably because you know I'm right. Your husband sounds like a smart man not to listen to your bullshit and get all worked up over some guy looking at you. You're making a mountain out of a molehill. I get unattractive girls checking me out too, you don't see me complaining to their managers, trying to get them fired, and malicious bullshit like that. At your age you should just be grateful men will still look at you that way.
He's not just checking me out. I've already explained that guys check me out all of the time. As far as my age goes, it doesn't seem to bother a lot of younger guys who are interested.
Oh yes because the only reason a woman could ever go to a place where both genders congregate is to be gawked at.
And women should avoid places where both genders are welcome at all costs of they don't want to be harassed. Otherwise they're attention whores.
You sound like a creep that hasn't been laid in years if ever
I completely agree @been_waiting!
@MrAbbs I was making that comment to butthearth... uhhhh... I'm now suspecting multiple accounts.
Girl stalks a guy's Facebook, no one gives a shit. Guy looks at a girl at the gym, everyone loses their fucking minds. XD
He not just "looking". You are so dense.
@been_waiting... very interesting.
Facebooks are meant to be looked at
Lol at the update. Well it appears you got enough help already. That's good, cause the gym is usually where I go to get away from problems, not face them. Plus you gotta focus on the gains ;)
I love this! 😊
What an uncomfortable situation to be put in @BelleGirl21. There's nothing worse having a creep doing this to you at your local gym!!! I'd approach him first and sternly say that does he have a problem because you're feeling uncomfortable with the way he's looking at you. If the guy doesn't heed your warning, definitely speak to the gym management!!
I'm going to. I hate confrontations!
@BelleGirl21
Good on you Belle!! Hopefully this will scare him enough to leave you alone!!
If he cat called you it's not just staring.
I say go ahead and confront him. If it makes it worse, he'll probably get in trouble with the gym. Win/win
I think I will. Thanks for the motivation!
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