Why did my boyfriend just watch me get beat up?

[Anonymous]

We were walking into the cafeteria in the morning for breakfast and this group of people come and start saying some random, rude things to me and my boyfriend. We just ignored them and went to our seats. They sat across from us (that's how I knew something was wrong because they have their own table). Then, the "leader," of the group whose name is Christopher grabbed my milk. I tried to grab it back but accidentally hit his hand and it spilled on him. I just told him, you shouldn't have taken my milk. Then, he walked around to my side and about 3 seconds later I was literally yanked by my hair out of my seat. He then starts to punch and drag me by hair I tried to kick and hit back but he was like way stronger. I looked at my boyfriend and he was just sitting there staring at what was happening. I got so frustrated I started to cry. Then the school security came and grabbed him off of me. We were both taken to the office and suspended for 10 days. I tried to call my boyfriend but he doesn't answer any of my calls. I texted him and asked if we were broken up he just said, "no." I got really pissed and texted him a 4 paragraph letter about how mad I was and blah blah blah. He read it and didn't respond and I am 100000000X madder. Why did he just stare? And would you have done the same?

[Theguyoverthere]

He might not have been sure what to do.

The thing is, the second his hand gets thrown in he is officially involved as well. Granted a lot of people wouldn't care, if he did start jumping in, he woulda gotten suspended as well even though he was trying to protect you. Then his family woulda likely associated you with being bad news as well. I'd like to think that he was looking ahead here but I'm sure he was just in a state of panic. The school would have just told him "he should have called security" or something. Schools these days are so "zero tolerance" and you can even see that somehow you're in trouble without even doing anything, he woulda gotten even more trouble I bet just for trying to help you out.

Society in general is training boys to be very weak in a lot of ways here. Boys are getting in "trouble" for everything. So I am not surprised that he did not act.

[Mesonfielde]

My guess is that he didn't really know what to do in that situation.

Did you get suspended for getting beaten up? Wtf?

[Asker]

Yes, the principal said I shouldn't have thrown the milk on him and I tried to explain to him that I didn't but he wouldn't listen to me and he said since milk was all over Christopher it must be true because he has no reason to lie and when he was hitting me I should tried to walk away instead of fight back.

[Mesonfielde]

What did your parents say about this? The principal should be glad I am not your father.

[Asker]

I haven't heard from my dad in a few years and my mom said the best thing to do is apologize to each other because we both had part

[been_waiting]

In the US kids always get suspended for getting beat up lol

[gocubs34]

"Yes, the principal said I shouldn't have thrown the milk on him and I tried to explain to him that I didn't but he wouldn't listen to me and he said since milk was all over Christopher it must be true because he has no reason to lie and when he was hitting me I should tried to walk away instead of fight back."

I think what's more eff'ed up is that the principal thought it was ok for a dude to be punching a girl, but spilling milk on someone is a big no-no.

I'm no bad-ass and I like to avoid conflict or confrontation, but if I see my gf getting pulled and dragged by her hair, I'm gonna try and defend her. I may get my ass whooped, but it's better than just sitting there with my tail between my legs.

[Vesuvius87]

How does the average girl even walks away from a guy that's not only hitting her but is dragging her by the hair? As if she were strong enough to get out of the grip of someone way stronger than her and find enough time to get away. Never heard of that one before. That must be one of the dumbest logic I've ever heard.

[Vesuvius87]

what a stupid principal

[dipta]

You were PUNCHED and your bf just stared at you sitting down?
He might have been shocked glued to the chair, but darn.

On a completely different note, once I was going back home in the evening with a friend and a group of girls near the station started to try and take my bag and stuff I had bought. At some point it became a big mess, we were punching each other left and right... Or rather I was by myself because, to my dismay, my "friend" only stared and did some screaming from far away.
She's still my friend and not everyone is required to fight, but that was certainly not the way I was brought up. I lost quite a bit of trust in her, and think it would have been much worse had it been my bf =/

[Vesuvius87]

I would stop talking and probably even disown any of my closed friends, family members or a bf if that was me and he/she didn't at least immediately call for help and instead just stood there and did nothing. In that case, they can forget I even exist because that's right there someone you can't even rely on nor trust if something way more serious were to happen.

There was a much worse case that I heard about. It was about a bf that abandoned his gf and mother of his small child right on a theatre during a shooting. Yet, the girl still accepted her so called ''bf's'' proposal afterwards.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Was that the one in colorado?

[Vesuvius87]

Yes and it took a stranger to intervene to get both the woman and her child out.

[Vesuvius87]

link:
jadorecouturestore.blogspot.com/.../...d-2_23.html

[Mineyouks]

He seems embarrassed by what happened. Maybe embarrassed cause he didn't have the guts to defend you or that he'd make a fool out of himself but his your boyfriend for a reason, no matter what he should protect it. And maybe his image is more important than you. Either way, you should make him feel so guilty about it. And explain that he will have to cross the moon for you to forget what happened or even try to break up. And everything will be clear from the reaction you get from him.

[indian_empress_91]

God if that was my bf, I would of stopped talking to him and break up. Gosh fine if he is a pussy but after he didn't even console you or made sure to keep in contact to make sure you are ok or try to come over to comfort you. Damn I feel sorry for you :(

[RandomStudent]

He was obviously really scared. How much bigger was this Chris guy than your bf? Did your BF call on security, if so that is just as good of a thing to do rather than to start more violence. Also, your BF may be very concerned with grades and didn't want the 10 day suspension. He is trying to avoid you now probably because he is embarrassed, or doesn't want to take your shit.

I mean, if this Chris is some huge MMA fighter, I can sympathize with your BF on the not immediatly rushing to your aid part.

[beesod]

Sounds like he was just scared. Not sure why he doesn't talk about it though. He should be the one feeling terrible for it and trying to comfort you.

I don't agree with violence but I think it would be fair to step in and break the fight off and calm the guy down, even if I did mean taking some punches himself. Regardless if you couldn't beat the evil guy in a fight you are better taking the hits compared to a girl.

I wouldn't think this means he doesn't love you, but rather he was too scared himself. Either way he has to talk to you about his feelings.

[Phoenix98]

Well the "boy" part boyfriend is certainly right when I'm dating a girl the moment someone puts their hands on her in a bad way is the moment I put my fist through their skull. I was raised that when someone puts their hands on you or a women you with then you let them know that it will never happen again.

[Hannah591]

He was probably in shock, felt like he couldn't compete with the guy or believed you were managing fine. He won't respond to you because he probably feels ashamed or not good enough because he didn't help you. Maybe threatening to leave him will make him talk to you about things, it's immature to ignore your girlfriend, especially after what happened.

I would also get the police involved because what that guy did was out of order and you shouldn't have been suspended.

[LookatDuhDonkay]

Maybe the other guy is significantly bigger or intimidating. Im pretty sure that since he hurt a female the bully wouldn't have a problem hurting ur bf realy badly. Not excusing his lack of action just explaining the possible psyche behind it. Learn jiu jitsu or pick up boxing... seriously i mean that. You dont need a man to handle physical situations for u. What if he wasn't there?

[Phoenix98]

That and society is training boys to become even weaker, every generation gets weaker and weaker.

[GingerBiscuits]

He let a boy beat you up in front of him, he's a wimp/punk. Let him know you're broken up, bye trick!

[AnayaWilliams]

He probably got scared and didn't know what to do. But still he's your boyfriend so it is his job to protect you of course. Not just stand there and watch get beat up, I mean who does that? He should've at least defended you at some point.

[Vesuvius87]

Someone that's a pure loser and doesn't care about the person. Even if that was a dear friend of mine getting beat up, I would be calling for help and making a big commodation, screaming, anything. I wouldn't be standing there doing nothing.

[Tokana]

He didn't protect you cause he's either hates conflict or was scared. After the incident he was embarrassed cause he didn't protect you. No matter what this size, I'm sure he could of least smothered him and stopped him from hitting you.

[rthomas43]

Who do I have such a hard time believing stories like this?

[Asker]

Because, most people on here are liars. But, I swear I'm not

[Bend_West_2]

Your boy is a sissy. I'd punch him in the throat, from experience it's as painful as getting punched except in a worse case scenario he wouldn't be able to breath (knuckles are deadly). I love physical conflict. Learn to defend yourself. :-> ;->

[Bend_West_2]

*punched in the ballz*

[Littlett25]

lol throat punch

[nominQ]

I would break up with your bf because he didn't protect. you and also he is acting like he doesn't care , he shouldve defended you

[Redstang88]

Maybe he was scared- some people won't fight no matter how much they're pushed. He's probably guilty he didn't do anything, he should be. If it had been me that guy would have been out cold before he got his hands on you.

[AlwaysBelieving]

He stared because he was in shock.

He doesn't communicate with you because he's embarrassed.

If it were me, I'd probably be in juv. Well, he did attract first so, he'd be in the nurse's office.

[Jewluminazi]

Your boyfriend is a sissy. If a guy did that to my girlfriend right in front of me I'd murder him.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he didn't know what to do, but it's kind of messed up that he didn't even check on you to see how you are, and isn't answering your calls. I think he's embarrassed at his inaction.

[Bbygaal23]

Wtf? Dumb his @$$!!! He can't even protect u from other males

[Prof_Don]

Your boyfriend is scared of conflict that he let some guy beat you up! :(

[Arthurred]

Yeah I couldn't let a guy just do that to my girlfriend I would have to retaliate in some way or at least intervene, this boyfriend of yours isn't much of a man to just let that happen to you..

[WhaChaChaKing]

Probably scared and didn't want to get involved. You should dump him because that's horrible.

[Vesuvius87]

More than horrible. That's really unforgivable. If it were me, anyone closed to me that would abandon me or stand there doing nothing, which is practically the same to me (male or female) can considered themselves disowned.

[WhaChaChaKing]

@Vesuvius87 I feel the same way. No way you can put up with that.

[Anonymous]

He probably got scared, didn't know what to do, and froze..