Some girls could be seen as cool friends for a guy. But most girls are not that very existing or rewarding for a guy to have as a friend, to be blunt.
This is obviously a generalization but guys and girls usually have way different interests and talk about different things. Some guys "endure" the friendly conversations simply because they hope that eventually the friendship will lead to more than just friendship and they are trying to collect browny points. They listen to all your problems, try to show that they care and all that. Trying to prove that they are a guy that will stick around and be there for you if you would give him a chance.
I suppose this is what is referred as the "nice guy" who secretly hold onto the hope that the girl will become interested in more than just friendship. When the door is completely shut and bridges have been burned regarding more than friendship then they drop the friendship because that was never what they were after.
Generally guys prefer other males as friends. They are easier to talk with and more frank and direct in their communication. Life is just easy that way. Obviously there's exceptions for every rule but this is the general idea.
While what you have had may seem like 'friendship' to you, it probably seemed more like a pseudo relationship to you.
"ut don't they value our friendship? About how much I cared about him?"
That's not how male male friendships work. Have you ever heard a guy say about a male friend that the basis of their friendship is 'how much they care about each other?' Male friendships have a basis of enjoying shared activities. Having each other's back is a second and rarely discussed point.
So male-female friendships tend to look more like female-female friendships, or male-female relationships.
And once you reject him, his interest in maintaining that drops significantly. You also may not realize how much he was driving the friendship forward because he was hoping it was leading somewhere.
Ignoring someone you're crushing on or like is one of the only ways to get over someone. Sometimes it's hard being just friends with someone you have feelings for but clearly doesn't feel the same. It's not fair to ask someone to stay by your side just because you like having them there. Thinking of the friendship, sometimes it's best to put aside what you want and think of what would be best for the other person. Instead of assuming the other person doesn't care as much as you, because they do, probably way more than you do that's why this is happening, you have to allow them enough time to get over you and find someone new. And maybe later when they're ready you can be friends again. If not, well then maybe the friendship wasn't meant to keep going anyway. Just let it go! *Totally sang that last part in my head... -_-*
Well firstly he doesn't have to be your friend just because he was before (he doesn't have to be anyones friend if he doesn't want to and you can't expect him to be your friend)
Secondly he probably didn't really ever want be just friends he most likely wanted to date you before
Thirdly he probably wants to stay away from you to get over it because it is hard staying friends with someone who doesn't like you back if you do
And fourth he just isn't interested anymore, simple
I think guys are not just friends with girls they like because
That's what their guy friends are for. Unless they really like the girl's personality (or they like her) they'd rather hang out with their friends, play basketball..
Friendships are fun but love (and sex) is even better. Guys might not seem as "romantic" as girls but they can be. So if a guy ever flirts or makes advances then he wants more than a friendship.
Because they like you as more than a friend. It's pretty difficult to be just "friends" with someone that you have feelings for (in a more romantic way). If you're talking about a specific guy, he probably wasn't looking for a friendship, he was looking for a relationship.
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Because they're cutting their losses and respecting themselves. Not trying to attack you or anything, but it clearly seems like you have never been on the receiving end of the friend zoning. Guys HATE being stuck in the friend zone because they want to be more than friends, and now they're killing themselves inside by allowing themselves to stay in that situation to where they have feelings for you, and you know this and you still only regard them as friends. So they're moving on, cutting their losses and finding women who actually want to date them.
so my personal reason for acting like this would be:
if i really do have a crush on a girl, i try to befriend her and if we´re friends for some time and i develop even more feelings, i will ask her out. at this point, my feelings for her are so strong, that i mentally can´t stand seeing her anymore.
it doesn´t mean that my friendship wasn´r genuine.
it just would make me sad and depressive to see her all the time especially if i´d see her with another guy. so i rather cut her out of my life...
You have to accept that. You don't feel what he feels about you. Ok. But why does he have to stick around if maybe he rather wouldn't? He dosent want to be friends with a girl whom he has feelings for. It just hurts more and more being around you for him. That's the truth of it. Accept it.
I been there too. I still maintained contact with a female who didn't want me in her life but I felt different. It hurt. Thankfully that's acient history and we don't talk anymore. I could careless about her if you ask me.
He may have been interested in a romantic relationship but there's a good chance he doesn't want to spend real effort and time on simply a friendship. In regards to him being your friend prior to the relationship maybe he was pursuing you the whole time under a guise of friendship. Maybe if he was rejected he feels resentful. There isn't one answer for all guys.
I believe it's because they want to be more than friends and whenever they see they won't go anywhere with an individual, they don't want anything to do with them. Personally, if a guy does not want to just be friends with you and ignores you, maybe it's for the best that you just leave him alone.
If he treasures friendship, he wouldn't act like that.
Because they're not trying to be your friend. They're trying to be your boyfriend. If you're not interested, they move on. Don't be so naive to think they were your friend who just so happened to want to date you.
You rejected them, now they're rejecting you. You don't seem to understand the problem, the torment, having to hang around with a girl you desperately want but can't have.
It happened with my cousin and a guy that was interested in her. He wouldn't talk to her for years but I knew he was crazy about her, you have to think of their emotions too, it might seem like more for the other person even when you know you don't like them in that way.
They had romantic interests. When they realize their hopes are dashed and crushed forever, they want to spend time away so they can get over you and the pain of rejection. Why would he want to continue torturing himself and harming his emotions by talking to you anymore? It's only going to keep him from being able to be happy, as well as keep him from finding a girl who IS interested in him.
A little creative empathy is your friend here.
If he wanted more and you denied him, he is protecting his feelings. He may come around, he nay not. Does he value your friendship? Not in the same way you do. Give him time though, he nay come around.
Because it hurts, in a painful-every-time-we're-around-you kind of way. People want what they want. Not having it, but being constantly reminded that they don't (and can't) have it, is a major bummer.
Because your telling us were not good enough for you so why in the fuck would we want anything to do with you after that? I would NEVER stay in the friendzone with any girl notta fuckin chance in hell.
well if he likes you more than a friend and you friendzone him then he's going to move on for his sake. its difficult to be friends with a girl you really like but realise she doesn't like you back
If you're off the table as a romantic partner then your relationship is less valuable. If he's in a romantic relationship with someone else then your relationship value is barely above zero.
because they want you only for sex, and they don't care about being just friends ;-)
We ignore you because we already have mates. There is no friendship between a woman and a man. You think you have male friends. If you only knew how deep they want to shove their cock into you...
Becs they dont give a fuck about you! Pretty staright forward!
They saw it as a possibility of being more than friendship. And by putting them in that, it's simply 'game over'.
It's easy to make friends with girls. That's not what he wants.
No it doesn't mean that for them. They. don't want a friendship they want more. Would you value something that you never wanted in the first place? It's honestly harder to be with a girl and know it's never going anywhere that to just move on.
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