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When a guy breaks up with you, does he feel pain and heartbreak as well?

My ex and I just recently broke up. Saturday to be exact. The past 2 months I guess you could say, we've been having problems, but always worked... Show More

Well I get home, and I knew something was just different. I text him and tell him I home, he says good, and presumed that I was safe. Then he didn't say anything else. So I text him again, and say...You've change. (Which he really has!) He used to be...
Energetic, fun, joked around, and just this sweet caring, Christian guy. Now he's always negative, tired, stressed, and just boring, and definitely not the same. Everyone else has noticed it to. Now he's not in a Christian environment anymore, and his...
Roommates started treating him bad, all they watch are R-rated movies, and he's just in a negative environment. So I'm wondering if that changed him. BUT...when I told him that he changed...his reply was, "I know :( and I hate it!" I told him..
That everyone else noticed too. And so I called him 3 times and he didn't answer. So I texted him and said, "Call me when you can. We need to talk." so he doesn't call me until two hours later...and he said he didn't want to make the call...so I said..
"What is going on?!" and he said, "Do you want me to be blunt? I guess my feelings for you have changed." So...we talk, and he said it all started after he left for college, he's prayed about it. etc. and I asked him where I stood, and he said...
A really good friend, I don't want us to lose communication, like we'll still text every few days, and hang out with others, and all that stuff. And I asked him if he thought his feelings would change again..and he said...
"Right now, I'm going to say probably. I still care for, and I still love you, but in a different way now."
...so I told him okay it's fine, I respect that, but that we couldn't be friends just yet. So, I deleted him on Facebook, and have not made any communication with him. I still love him...but then again, I am happy cause I don't have to worry anymore.
oh! and not to mention...when he called we talked for an hour and half about it He said he knows it's for the best, and that things will be different, and he swears there's not another girl...But I also recall telling him, that I wasn't happy...
in the relationship right now. He said it kills him to have to do this, but it's for the best. So with ALL that being said...and the comfort he was giving me, and all that...it makes me wonder maybe he just doesn't know what he feels right now..
Like he's not exactly sure how he feels about it. So since he was feeling that way, he felt it wasn't fair to me. "If I can't treat you like a princess, then I don't deserve you. You deserve someone better." was what he said.
Because he wasn't going to break up with me, until I said we needed to talk. It's just a very confusing situation...and guys out there with a guess of what is going on in his head?! haha! Thank you very much!
Also...his family tells me I'm still allowed to come over and visit any time I want to, they say that they are all sad about it, and they still treat me very well. It's just a very confusing situation. He said that he will never say anything bad about me.
And that he doesn't regret it at all, and that he could never say anything bad about me. I just would like to know, what others think about it, and what may be going on. Be blunt, I can handle it. (And excuse so many of these paragraphs!)
One more update. He and I will still see each other quite often. We go to the same church, have the same friends, and it's almost impossible not to see each other.

Most Helpful Opinion

  • Forget him. I was in the same situation as yours and my ex told me the same line as your bf. "If I can't treat you like a princess, then I don't deserve you. You deserve someone better." Omg please, that's just his ways of saying: I don't wanna be with you and I feel bad about it. He doesn't have feelings for you any longer. Move on. He said it himself that he only thought of you as his good friend.I know it's hard not to see him again since you have same friends etc. Me too. But you know what, when I and my ex meet in group situations, we just don't talk. It might be ackward but we have to do what we have to. He didn't tell you wanting to break up because he's still unsure on how to say it to you. So, when you brought that up, he sees it as an opportunity to say how he feels that is his feelings has faded as a lover for you. To answer your main question: Yes, guys can feel that way but it depends on the situation etc. If he only thought of you just as a fling, then I doubt it.

    • Well I told him, "So I guess what we had was just a summer fling then." and he responded, "No way! It was more than that!" and I told him it wasn't. What makes it even harder is that we were friends for two years before we started dating...And he was crying when he was talking to me...

    • Oh that's y it's hard for him to let you go (you were friends before). I am sure he didn't thought of you as a fling. But the fact now is that he has no feelings for you as a lover anymore. So, you better move on. I am sure he's hurting inside but it doesn't mean that he wants to be with you. He just feel guilty but it's out of his control too to lose feelings. Sometimes, it just happen. It's hard to accept but you have to. MOve on.

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  • girl that's rough...you just need to be supportive and help him change in the way thay he wants. Don't harp on him about it, change is ineviteable and especially at that age. Be supportive and don't take it personally. Just be a good friend to him right now.

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