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How do I ask a guy if he is seeing someone else?

I've been on 2 dates with a guy who seems very laid back and quiet. We unexpectedly had sex on the first date and he told me not to worry because he wasn't the type to judge and he felt that I wasn't the type who would do that sort of thing. (One worrying thing though is he wanted to have sex without a condom but I refused). We spoke on the phone 3 times that week and he told me that he liked me because I was different from other girls because I wasn't clingy but at the same time, I gave him enough attention and that I was balanced. That comment made me wary. We went on our second date later that week. He took me out for dinner but he didn't invite me back to his place and merely gave me a kiss goodnight and told me that he'd like to see me again and that he would be in touch. That was a week and half ago. He is studying for an important exam which is in a week's time. I'm not trying to crowd him or demand his attention so I've restricted texting to twice a week which he responds to immediately. I feel that he is into me but perhaps the timing is wrong for us. However, after the last text conversation we had, I'm starting to wonder. In the last text conversation, I basically flirted with him and told him that I'd like to see him and he responded saying that he was swamped with work. My friends told me that guys don't say no to sex unless they are getting it from somewhere. Do you think this could be the case? Or am I being paranoid? Should I phone him during his study time or should I just wait till he finishes his exam and wait for him to contact me? Am I being paranoid? This is just not like me to be unsure about where I stand with a guy. Advice wanted please.

Updates:
The guy confuses me! Is he is interested or not? He texts hi today. I respond "hi stranger. miss our chats. didn't want to ring in case I disturb you but best wishes for ur exam" he responds "thnx. free from saturday till I go away for xmas. Catch up soon
So after all your great advice, I told him I wasn't interested anymore. I didn't hear from him... He's back in my life. He rang me wishing me a happy new year. He wants to see me to "catch up" and says there are things he needs to tell me. I'll update you

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I don't know the dude but I think that you should just text him once in a while during the exam week, just to remind him that you think about him cz if he is serious about it like I am he wouldn't want someone trying to get too much of his attention during that time (im sure that you would feel the same if the roles were reversed) ... btw, yes we don't say no to sex to a girl we are interested in but we can wait, its not because a guy is not horny all the time that he doesn't want you. Wait until after the exams and see how things go ... we happen to have other priorities in life than just you girls (no offense)

What Guys Said 7

  • No man is TOO busy to hook up with a girl he really likes. Ask any man anywhere.BUT, that shouldn't matter.Maybe he's too busy, or maybe he has other ladies, it's really none of your business at this point. It's perfectly within his rights to date you, sleep with you AND see other women. Until you both have consented to a monogamous relationship you should assume he's seeing other people JUST LIKE YOU.If you need more attention then he's able to give, then get it somewhere else. Back burner him until you've either forgotten about him, or he's fought to regain your attention.By the way GOOD WORK on the condom thing... he's gross.~ RobbyMy Blog ( link )

    • I've decided (maybe compulsively) to delete his number. I'll put it down to experience and practice what I always preach: never sleep with a guy on the first date no matter how connected you feel or how nice and reserved he comes across. all men are the same and it serves me right for thinking otherwise.

    • Hahaha, good for you I guess. Perhaps next time you sleep with a guy on the first date, do it because you like having sex, not because you think the relationship needs to last forever. One Night Stands are fun, when you know you're having one.

  • Try texting him more than x2 a week, but not more than 5. He mgith be interested but in my exp, and I don't mena to be an idiot or jerk about it is: he's just using you for sex and got what he wanted and might be with another girl and have you on the side. You can;1: Flat out dump him2: play it by ear and react based on intel3: Do or Do Not, Act now or lose your hearts desire4: Play the question to him face-to-face (text/phone isn't as effective)I hope this helps but it is also not the best advice - wish you luck :)

    • No, you're right. He was using me for sex. I texted him on Sunday telling him that this thing between us obviously isn't going to hit off the ground as I seem to be only one who wants it. He texted back saying that he wants to see me this week. I didn't respond. I haven't heard from him since Sunday so I assume he's playing games and like another guy said no man is too busy to contact when he is interested. I'm the fool because I keep thinking he will contact me but deep inside I know he won't.

    • I wish there was some way of letting him know that I know and and that he should have been honest but I fear that I will just prove that I am a fool to him and that he'll be happy that he did play me.

    • I wouls suggest [if I may?] to let it be, by knowing he used you in anyway; as such a careless manner, he's lower himself below trash - since your a woman you can stand on your feet and learn from this as to prevent it next time and step on the would by predetars lower head. Be cautious and safe, I wish you the best of luck in any relationship you sortie.

  • play truth or dare and when you think its time ask him that question

  • wait until he finish his exam , the more you keep calling or texting the more he'll lose interest in you trust me. =]

  • YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAD SEX THAT SOON. ITS NO SUCH THING AS unexpectedly ... YOU DONT EVEN KNOW THE DUDE... IF YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE HAD SEX YOUR FEELINGS WANT BE IN IT LIKE IT IS. MY ADVICE IS STOP HAVING SEX AND REALLY TRY TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE. OH... SINCE HE HAD SEX WITH YOU ALREADY THE CHASE IS OVER...THAT IS THE MAIN GOAL WITH GUYS TO GET SEX.. ONCE THEY GET THAT THEY LOOK FOR ANOTHER GIRL...

    • Do you think so? do you think that cus his getting sex from you they will look for another girl to get more sex? why? why?

    • Thats they way it goes.... When a guy first meets a girl, you don't notice how they shower them with attention in the beginning... Once they get what they want (sex) they can care less.... don't sell out your body, find out what they guy is really interested in you or your body.... DONT BE A FOUL ANYMORE

  • Try "are you seeing someone else". I'd be worried that he wanted to have sex w/o a condom though. Very bad sign, especially if its early on in a relationship. It probably means he's done that many times b4 and probably has an std. You should run! If I'm wrong you should at least wait and take things real slow. If its meant to be it will happen for you guys. Don't rush or more likely than not you will be sorry. Ask anyone with significant relationship experience and they'll tell you the same.

What Girls Said 7

  • This dude is not looking for a relationship, he's into the casual going out thing the non "clingy" commitment type of relationship. You hang out, talk sweet and have sex but not be in a serious relationship kinda thing. He did not kiss you when you left to make it casual, that you are NOT in a relationship therefore he is not EXPECTED to kiss you goodnight. He's not looking for the romance part of a relationship but a laid back, no commitment, no worry type.

  • u had sex with a guy who " he wanted to have sex without a condom but I refused"that means he has unprotected sex when he can.and you still had sex with him

  • I think it is safe to say he is seeing other people. You two do not have an agreement to be exclusive. But if you are interested in that, have the talk with him.

  • If your just messing around with him or dating him, you really don't have room to ask. just keep your gard up, sounds fishy to me

  • Unfortunatly some guys are a lot after sex but idt it's the case with this one he seems truly into you. And some guys do say no to sex if. They have respect for the girl . As for is you wanna kno if he has another girl just flat out ask him when you two hang out like just slide it and in a joking way... Like I haven't seen you in awhile I was bgining to wonder if you found someone else or married a book without inviting me to the wedding

  • "We unexpectedly had sex on the first date and he told me not to worry because he wasn't the type to judge and he felt that I wasn't the type who would do that sort of thing. (One worrying thing though is he wanted to have sex without a condom but I refused). We spoke on the phone 3 times that week and he told me that he liked me because I was different from other girls because I wasn't clingy but at the same time, I gave him enough attention and that I was balanced."Wow, basically the same thing happened to me over the summer with a guy I had my doubts about. In the end, he was lying to me. He had a girlfriend AND another girl he was seeing on the side besides me. What an asshole...Anyways, stick it out for the exam week and see what happens but don't set your hopes too high in case you aren't his only girl.

    • Oh no oh no!! I have been played! I feel so stupid! he told me that he split up with his ex because she moved to new york and that he's been single for 5 months. and he told me that she was crazy. that statement is a classic player statement when they describe their ex. I'm such a fool!

    • Yeah, yeah he split up with his ex and she's the crazy one so now he is taking a break from serious relationships and 'seeing who and what is out there' while just having fun... Blah, blah, blah- I know how this works... Sounds like trouble o.O Keep your guard up, hun!

  • my advice is: if the exam is only in a weeks time I would just wait it out and see what happens afterward. its unfair on him to be stressing him out or whatever while he's trying to do work, wait until his exam is out the way, and if he continues to act weird THEN maybe say something..

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