Why does my friends with benefits act like this?

[Anonymous]

Okay. So this is my friend of four years. There's always been some sexual tension between us. Three years ago he got a girlfriend and a year ago I got a boyfriend, so between that period we never crossed the line, but we still flirted intensely. Before those periods though, he use to touch me. During and before, he complimented me all the time. A year ago, we got matched up in the same classes after a year of being apart. He had his girl, I had my guy. I never really crossed the line because I felt that was unfair to my boyfriend, but my friends with benefits told me once that he saw us being in a relationship. We smoked together sometimes, once he told me he was hoping we'd just be shit faced and have an affair with eachother. He brought up motions of us being together. And shit.

I feel like he did that because he had his girl, so he felt safe saying that stuff, you know? But that's just my theory.

So my boyfriend and I split in January. He and his girlfriend in February . Soon after we kissed, and gradually moved up to sleeping with eachother.

Now. He NEVER brings up the thought of us together. He seems so terrified just at the thought of us being together. I can jokingly call him "Babe" and just in an instant he'd be like, "Don't call me that". Like relax man, I was just joking. LOL. But he calls other girls pet names jokingly, and has noooo problem with that.

I mean like. To be honest, the feelings have always been there. But I'm leaving for a four-year university in September. I'm sure it wouldn't work anyway. And he's one of my closest friends, so why do it if I'm gonna' probably end up losing him? I'm not attached to him. Usually when I have feelings it's like an obsession, but it's not like that with him. I just feel comfortable with him and the idea of not dating him doesn't phase me.

I have my theories, share yours. I like to hear other opinions.

I'm going to go see him tomorrow. Now that we graduated and no one's in our busniess, he'll probably be up front with me.

He's in denial of his feelings.

Doesn't want you to grow attached, so he's setting a limit.

Other. [Explain]

[performerwannabe]

He doesn't want commitment and he's scared that you'll fall for him and shit. But damn, I call most of my friends babe. You sleep together and he doesn't want you to call him that. I think you should talk to him about it. Tell him that you don't want a relationship with him and how you feel about this. Although, I do think that since you're not attached yet with him, there's no reason to be concerned.

[Asker]

Thanks hun. :)

[performerwannabe]

No prob. :)

[Anonymous]

wtf am i hearing from this infant? 17 and have friends with beneftits for years? where the fuck am i living... ?

[Asker]

It's okay. I'm the woman who's gonna' be paying for your kid's public school.

It's so cute how you "adults" judge me for being sexually active, when half of you don't even have your shit together.

So tell me, how is it making 7k a year, hun?

[Opinion Owner]

what are you talking about kiddo? where you mistreated as a kid? why would someone want to skip her childhood... ?

[Asker]

You must be a Christian.

Sex isn't some sacred thing. That's bullshit. It's what you make of it, and your crucifixes and shrines lied to you.

Sex is a mental thing. It doesn't come with an age limit. It happens when you're at an agreement to deal with the consequences that come with it.

Now run along to your personal ass morals, because frankly, I couldn't give you two of my most solid shits for them.

[Opinion Owner]

are you in a delirium? what christian? it's common sense that a kid that has fwbs since 13-14 has some loose screw in the head. if my daughter did anything before 18 i'd sent her away from home.

[Opinion Owner]

i have kids. and thankfully they are healthy kids that get all the love they need. they dont need to "mature" before their time. oh and nice way talking to your elders kid, you were brought up very well. adios broken little thing.