Why do guys insult their ex girlfriends so much?

The question basically says it all.

I broke up with my boyfriend a little bit ago. We were in a pretty serious relationship to the end of it though we always were in some type of fight when we weren't together. We were together for about 7 months. One of my "female" friends asked him how he felt and he told her that he was pretty sad but a little bit happy because the fighting was over.

A male friend of mine asked him and he called me names, picked on my weight (I'm 120 and 5'2", seriously?), and always would be like "f*** that bitch" or "I hate her."

Why?! I'm not sure what to do or say to that..

Does anyone have some similar experience or advice for me?

We talk every so often here and there and tomorrow I'm going to a party and he will be there and I would like a chance to get to talk to him in private.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I totallly get you. One of my exes would talk crap with his friends and it would always get back to me. From texting me and being passive aggressive (he texted me saying "you've changed since we stopped going out. just changed." I asked him what, he says that I've become less attractive.) And now he talks crap to his girlfriend who then talks crap to her friends and so on. Soon enough you learn not to give a damn. They're doing it for a reason, because they messed up and they know it. Just ignore them and be better at everything you do, motivation (:

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    • Thank you (: thank you (:

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What Guys Said 18

  • I never did that.

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  • his maturity level is that of a dumb 14year old. males age25 bellow tend to keep up a fake image in front of there friends so that they can fit into there social circle. the stereotype of heterosexual males in the relationship setting is for him to be independent and not need a woman (thats why they like to talk crap; so that the masculine ego is not tarnished.) guys like to bad mouth their ex's because it shows there friends that they don't care, when they really do. (i've seen and herd girls do the same thing)

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  • It's a pretty big ego blow to be the one who gets broken up with, so it's really easy to make yourself feel better by believing they aren't worth much. It's not honestly how he feels, he's just letting his sadness turn into anger to make himself feel better.

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  • It's a sign of immaturity. You see, by casting all manner of hate on you, he doesn't have to face up to his part of the responsibility for the relationship ending. In fact, I would say that if you were looking for signs of a good man, you should find out how he feels about his exes. He may not like them as people. But a man should be able to speak of them with respect to the time they shared.

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  • I think he's just being macho for his boy. It may seem strange, but in this case it actually has a function. He is reassuring his friend that he has not fallen to pieces, will survive, and is okay with being apart now.

    Also, he might be going to extra mental/verbal lengths to assure HIMSELF of this. YOU may interpret hostility, but "f*** that bitch; I hate her" is, in guy language, an expression of pain and frustration.

    Lastly... you might have been a bitch. You guys WERE arguing, right? Few people are at their best, in conflict.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Guys usually feel like they have to save face with other guys. It's the same reason a lot of them, especially in high school, don't like showing PDA around their friends and act differently around the guys. They don't want to look like they care as much as they do, because that makes them look like a p.ussy in front of the guys, supposedly. I don't know why guys place those 'rules' upon themselves and others, haha, because it seems like they ALL have a 'secret' sensitive side that none of the others are supposed to know about, especially when they have a girlfriend. And they all hide it from each other, when they're all going through the exact same struggle. It just seems redundant.

    I just think he opened up more to your girl friend because she's a girl, and he has a certain image to uphold with the guys. I doubt he really hates you or thinks there's anything wrong with your weight.

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    • Not supposedly, it does make them look like a p.ussy in front of the guys.

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    • Wrong. Ex-bashing is not the sole province of the male gender. In fact, women are worse.

    • I never said -anywhere- that men are the only gender who exhibit this behavior. I apologize if you interpreted it that way. There are certain 'types' of people in general who are prone to this kind of thing. I'm sure the QA is already aware of why some girls might bash their exes, and it seems plausible that she didn't realize that the reasons don't differ that much between the sexes. But this particular question is about men, so I answered about men.

  • Ah...let's see...why do guys insult their ex-girlfriends? Would it be the same reason that women insult their ex-boyfriends? Is this a trick question? How about because they can...and they are p*ssed off, angry, want revenge, want to get even with you, want the hurt to go away, are secretly afraid you may be right about (a, b, c) and don't know when they are going to get laid again. Do any of those sound reasonable?

    And the number one reason men do this - is they don't have a huge store of available emotions with which to work - so their range of expression is rather limited - and their ego doesn't allow them to cry while sitting at the bar - so the next best thing is to recount to whoever will listen - what a bitch you are...

    Kinda makes for a p*ssy ex-boyfriend...

    As for what should you do about it - nothing girlfriend. You are too classy of a lady to engage in any of this nonsense. You've already taken your energy out of this relationship and have important things going on in your life - which DO NOT include asking friends to see how he is or wasting your time worrying about it. Walk away and don't turn back - you are too busy with you life to waste any more energy on a guy that you've already broken up with.

    Okay? Good Luck.

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  • They just want to make themselves look bad. the thing is, one of my ex bf's did this and eventually no one believed him. I have a good reputation in terms of who I am as a person so what he said just made him look like crap in the end. even his friends told him he made the wrong choice to talk like that about me. I heard about it, I ignored it. just move on. and he probably misses and is bitter about not being with you

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  • He's trying to get over you. Simple. But you aren't dead. The only way he can 'move on' is to convince himself that he doesn't care for you anymore.

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  • lol He sounds just like all of my ex's ! But that's just because they are teenagers am glade am with a grown man right now. And by the way they are just made because we dumped them :)

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