Shy guys: if the girl you liked gave you cookies?

[Anonymous]

how would you feel?

is it too subtle/forward?

i want him to know I like him too, without just saying it outright.

are there any other ways of letting him know you like him without just saying it? I don't mind taking initiative and helping him figure things out, but I'm a little old fashioned at the same time; I'd feel weird just "asking him out" (what does that even constitute by the way? by asking out do people mean ask him to hang out? or ask him on a date?)

key issue: I don't want to scare him off by being too forward.

[GoodManDave]

If he doesn't want them, I'll take 'em! Just no chocolate or nuts!

If a girl baked me cookies, I'd wonder if they were poisoned... ;)

Actually, I'd appreciate it, but I wouldn't think of it as a date thing. I never got the whole Napoleon Dynamite method for asking people out. I'd think it was odd if a girl baked me a cake. Now, if they were leftover, then I'd probably just assume that she didn't want too deal with taking them home. Nice gesture maybe, but I wouldn't think of it as a clincher.

If you want, you can ask him to some event (be specific though). You don't have to think of it as a date. It's "just getting to know someone" (Yeah, essentially the same thing a date is, I know, but I don't get why people are so caught up about the official "date"). Don't mention "hanging out", because it portrays a purely platonic kind of situation.

What I do is just ask girls out in a friendly way. If they don't show, and they make it a habit, obviously they're not really interested in getting to know me in ANY capacity - friendship or otherwise. Tells you a lot about someone.

I invited a group of people to something recently; unfortunately the girls started coming up with excuses, and my closer guy friends showed. So we had fun anyway, and I know not to invite the girls out to stuff any more for a VERY long time. Kind of does the job for me with out me spending time flirting, calling and getting no responses, etc. I figure if they're interested enough in learning who I am, they will make the time.

[Sydnor]

I am a shy guy. And I can tell you right now that while I'd like the cookies, I'd still prefer you to literally say what you mean... Because not everyone speaks love in those terms, and so the cookies might just confuse him, or worse, they might not be interpreted in ANY way, and then you're left guessing why he didn't respond.

Let me warn you, though.

If I like you, telling me how you feel makes it easier for me to open up and for both of us to move forward in the direction we want to go.

HOWEVER, if I don't like you, and you come on too strong, my automatic response is to distance myself as much and as quickly as possible to send you a CLEAR message.

So the cookies are nice. But their effect could go either way. If you plan on telling him you like him, you might want to do it before you start giving gifts - because if he doesn't like you and then he suddenly realizes what the cookies were about, he might feel greater need to get away. If the cookies come AFTER, they could either be an accepted expression of love, or an accepted expression of wanting to maintain the friendship despite being rejected.

[maximusprime]

I totally agree. An expression of your feelings goes a long way in allowing us shy guys to open up and progress towards a larger goal. However, if we don't like you we try to send you signals that imply our disinterest. These signals are usually clear to us shy guys, but not always clear to the girls who receive them. If you're interested, let him know in a casual way: try to hang out with him or participate in an activity with him.

[Landshark]

Well, as a kind of reserved (when it comes to romance at least) girl who has fallen for shy guys in the past, I can say that I have tried the whole giving food thing and the guy just didn't get it. Maybe if combined with subtle hints it would work, though? And by asking him out, I suggest friendly things at first and see if they become dates. It's what happened for me and I'm now with an amazing boyfriend...

[maureen]

i sent a guy I really liked his favorite dessert for valentines day once. I ordered a whole entire tiramisu from a restaurant and had it to delivered to his work. he was thrilled and the thought and was very happy. I think it is a unique way to show someone you like them.

[133mike]

Sorry to tell you this but at one point, you are gonna need to say it out loud because a woman,s mind is more complicated than astro physics for most of us lol.

The cookies idea is cool to break the ice but it doesn't mean anything it itself unless he knows that you never share food with anyone.

You can mention to him that there is a social event/movie/whatever that you wanna go to and haven't found anyone to go with you so you wondered if he would be interested (if he is remotely interested in you, he will say yes or at least give you a pretty good reason of why he can't and might even propose something else)

I hope I helped a lil

good luck

[mattSmart]

Lol, the cookie idea is awsome. 1 Cookies are all around amazing 2 You aren't asking anything, so he can't reject you (I guess he could reject the cookies but if he does that... he is some sick twisted freak who doesn't like cookies) 3 god damnit cookies is a great idea. It implies, without telling. It also will make him feel great(thats my wild guess). You sound shy, so I think being "too foward" is the least of your worries haha.

If your still worried, some wise advice I once heard is that "If you don't think it's/(treat it as) a big deal, then he/she won't think it is a big deal."... something like that. I wish more girls were like you... cookies.

[Killfest400]

I would recommend that if you go through with this plan, you should set him up for it. Say something the day before like "I feel like baking something tonight. Maybe I'll bring some cookies tomorrow." Yeah, it spoils any surprise, but that way he won't be astonished and caught off guard.

He probably won't think of cookies as flirtatious, so the cookies approach seems more like a "friend, nice person" approach. Later on, in a relationship, cookies can be a very pleasing gesture.

Also, make sure he isn't allergic.

[jamesjems]

There are little things you can do. All related to contact. Eye contact (hold it a split-second longer). Handing him something – yes, like a cookie – as you reach out for his hand to place a cookie in it, don't let it go for a few seconds. Give it to him with a smile. All these things – and it's no surprise they're physical things – all these things are the kind of stuff that communicates openness and interest to us thick-headed guys. I speak as a thick-headed guy who never picks up on more subtle social cues. But the smile, the lingering look, the hand gesture (not the cookie), all these things would boost my confidence in just the right way you're looking for. Good luck. Let us know how it turns out.

[curiousman]

Like I always say...it's the thought that counts! I say go for it. Personally, I'd love the fact that you gave me cookies if I was him.

On the other hand, if you want him to know you like him but you don't want to tell him straight up just ask him out here and there. Ask him out to coffee, go to farmer's market, go see a movie... Just be sure to flirt with him! Hug him, grab his hand, whisper in his ear..If he's smart he'll get the point.

It also wouldn't hurt, if you really really like the guy to just ask him out. Just bring it up casually like "hey we should go out to dinner some time..just the two of us," and see what he says!

Good luck with your endeavor :)

[Subotai]

Its not too forward. If you want to seem less forward make it seem casual bake the cookies but don't say "I baked them just for you I was standing in the kitchen in my apron daydreaming about you and you being my man coming home from work and me greeting you with a fresh plate of cookies..." That might scare him off. Don't tell him who you made the cookies for and don't give him a lot of cookies you don't have to say so but let him think you probably gave cookies to other people too. He will wonder whether you made them for him. He probably knows you like him. But if he hasn't shown interest yet you probably have to tease him a little and not always be available make him wonder

[hellothere]

Lol if a girl gave me cookies...her fancying me would not come into my mind I'd think she's just friendly, I mean come on cookies!? It would be kinda weird as well, if you want to let him know you like him ask what he's doing at the weekend or something

[Asker]

I mean..it's not like I don't know him. he's in my group of friends, we've danced at parties, his friend told me he likes me, I asked him to hang out just us for the first time (which was me making the first move), it went really well, but I think he's too shy to make a move, or still needs a little push. I'm sure his friend told him I like him too, so I assume he wouldn't find it that random...

[hellothere]

So you asked him out and went on 1 date that's a good start!, what was the impression you got from him did he enjoy it? Did he want to hang out again or what

[Asker]

Haha yeah. it went really well: an ice cream outing that ended up lasting 2 hours. when he came to pick me up my roommate was walking with him and she said she could just tell he liked me from the way he looked at me. and the entire time I was with him it wasn't awkward at all (like I thought it might be) and there were no awkward silences. afterward on fb he commented on my status that he had fun and hoped to see me again soon.

and yet....here I am 2 weeks later and I haven't heard from him!

[hellothere]

Well he hopes to see you soon which is good! my guess is he is too shy to ask you out himself, or he has been busy and hasn't really thought about it

[Asker]

Right, but meanwhile what do I do? does he need a little shove for a boost of confidence? do I just wait for him to maybe never make a move? I don't want to miss out on this, but if he makes me wait forever I'll move on..

[hellothere]

I'd wait a while see if he does anything, if not you can either ask him what's up or move on

[WildVyse]

If someone gave me cookies, I would think they really liked me. I would be so happy that:

1. She gave me COOKIES!

2. SHE gave me cookies!

if my emphasis makes sense :P

I would say if he feels comfortable being around you, giving him cookies wouldn't scare him away.

[Rahim517]

Don't ask him out, I think it sets a poor precedent. The best way to let him know you like him is to show genuine interest in him. This seems to be a foreign concept among women, but men actually like it when women seem interested in more than what kind of car you drive. People in general are way too into themselves for their own dating good.

Just show steady, GENUINE interest and ditch that hot/cold female thing.

[markml]

Cookies are awesome! Cake is even better...

You know what they say about "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach", but seriously, this is a really great idea.

It doesn't immediately say that you're romantically attracted to him, but at the same time, it seems really sweet, thoughtful and shows that you care about him. The idea that you would take all that time and consideration is something he should find really attractive.

[play-wright-boy]

Betty Crocker is not sexy.

If you really have a problem with simply asking him if he wants to hang out sometime (which you shouldn't), then try to ask him what he's doing during the weekend. Then imply that you're free that weekend. He should be able to get the hint. If he doesn't, he's incredibly dense or not interested.

[Dan2287]

Depends how you give them.

If you have some with you and just offer one randomly while you eat them as well, that's just kinda being freindly and I would just be like 'Sure thanks..'

But if you cook them just for him and tell him that - well id be impressed, and even a guy as shy as myself would probably ask you out after that

[SilentG]

Awww! just give me cookies when I'm hungry and I'm yours! some ladies do that with me and my face turns rid haha

but seriously talking now... it's always a great message given when you show you're caring, If you gave other boys cookies not only him it would be confusing and not mean anything, but if you gave only him it would seem nice and warm :)

[Cartiphilus]

If you just suddenly walked up to him and handed him a cookie, yes he could easily think you like him if he is naive.. Now if you walked up to him and gave him a flower that's something else. Girls do not normally give guys flowers. Actions speak louder than words. This is the 21st Century. Old fashioned values have their merit but girls asking guys out for a date is not uncommon. Asking him to a movie is less than asking him to dinner. A movie AND a dinner would be a date.

[Brando]

ha I'm with hellothere, I would just be excited for the cookies lol. but if you like him, just start hanging out with him more, flirt around a little bit at first and see how he responds. then gradually act a little bit more flirty and he should get the hint. plus, if you all hang out he'll become more comfortable around you, which may lead to him asking you. hope I helped

[Soobahk40050]

From personal experience, I'd say the cookies might make his day, but don't necessarily prove you like him. May the cookies plus like a quick note about how awesome he is :)

[Sydnor]

This is an amenable compromise to what I suggested. Just make clear what the gesture means, in some small way.

[Virtual_Entity]

How long ago did you do this? Just asking because the girl I like did this for me (I was at her house because I know her family) and I'm almost 100% certain that she likes me anyway but I'm waiting for the right time to ask her parents if I can pursue her.

[WeaponZero]

It just might be enough to help him break out of his shell. Besides, the old saying "the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach" has to come from SOMEWHERE, right?

[Stanthemilkman]

I wish I had some cookies right now. And why does everyone have to be a anonymous user it is annoying nobody here cares who you are, I prefer answering qestions that are not anonymous.

[SilverFox135]

I know this is way too late I'm sorry but id still like to comment , cookies would be awesome it would definitely be a great idea