Why do women not like nice guys?

I just don't see the reason I need to be a jerk to get a girl. I mean I'm a really nice guy, that's just who I am. I am not going to change how I act just to get girls. They will just have to take me as I am. I just don't see why they like jerks when all jerks do is lie and cheat, and I'd never do that.


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  • Some girls like a nice guy, some but most as in like 95% of them will go for a jerk. Now does that mean you have to become a jerk no not necessarily. I am just naturally a jerk to women and yes it gets me chicks, and yes I do have a gf, now have I cheated on her no. You see there is a big difference between being a nice guy and a good guy.

    To put this in a nutshell so to speak, a nice guy will get walked all over by women, constantly want to do things for them, always be there for her and very needy, and it makes her just want to punch the guy in the face. No backbone, no opinions for himself always agreeing with her even if she's wrong, basically a pussy, that's not what a woman wants.

    Now a good guy and a jerk are almost the same, except a jerk takes it to the extreme and a good guy won't. Girls absolutely hate a jerk, for being a jerk but fall for him every time, trust me on that one. A good guy has a backbone and just like a jerk has a life of his own he will disagree with a girl but at the same time won't degrade her, that's the key right there, have a backbone and if she's getting outta line, by crying over nothing, whining, or even throwing a fit because she didn't get her way, then if you can stand up to her for and tell her hell no not happening, better get over your little episode cause it's not going to fly with me, then my friend you can get a gf. If you give in to that crap, and let her have her way, your screwed man, she then knows what she can do and she will do it. If you tell her you will treat her like a princess she will walk all over you and take advantage of it.

    So tell me when you get a girlfriend or try to get one what do you, how nice are you to her and what do you think goes wrong?


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What Girls Said 5

  • Any guy that treats me badly is out the door. I WISH I could find a great guy who was respectable, nice, knows how to treat a lady, is loyal and won't play mind games. I am so sick of guys who play games then I read a post like this and I wanna scream! There are women who truly want a great guy like you. Move to NJ!

  • I would never date a man that wasn't respectable, sweet, kind to me and other people. A nice Christian man that cares about the world and others.I ABHOR men that are AXXholes. I don't see what women (or men) see in someone that isn't like that. I guess they have issues about themselves.

  • you don't need to be a jerk,actually please don't be,there are more then enough out there.

    Get a girl by being yourself...Not every girl you meet is meant to be your gf.Have some patience and show the girl your worth the chance.If your a jerk she'll never give the chance of a serious relationship.

    • But that's the thing, I don't know how. Never had a gf, I asked a girl out in HS, rejected me, in college I took one girl out, but it didn't work out. Idk, I'm clueless

    • Show All
    • Well idk, its just I mean I've always felt like a creep. I mean I must be one if I can't get a girl, I mean I am an okay looking guy, but I don't know it feels weird to have never had a relationship, and I'm 21

    • You probably come on too strong

  • I don't really know why women like the "bad boy" but honestly its way more attractive (at least to me) when a guy has a good heart. Don't be a jerk. Girls who go for jerks are looking for all the wrong things in a relationship. You're better off waiting til you find a girl who has the same values you do.

  • This does not apply to me =P My Boyfriend is the sweetest thing on earth. He does really sweet things for me, walks me places, offeres to help me with things, gives me great massages. He would never cheat on me. If we do get into any fights, theyre so little and for small stupid things =P and he would never yell at me. =P he's a nice guy :]

    • Really shy also =P he would never make me do something I wasn't comfortable with .

What Guys Said 5

  • the want a nice guy

    but many guys equate being nice with always being agreeable, doing whatever she wants and by acting like she's the only girl on earth.

    They can be 'nice' qualities, however it doesn't build attraction. A girl wants a strong man, who can protect her, support her, who is interesting and who stands up for his own beliefs first. Then after that, if he's a nice guy who treats her like a queen, that's a bonus in terms of attraction.

    If you simply tell a girl that you like her, often it doesn't work out, because now she knows she can have you when she did not have to put any work into it which means you must be a low value male.

    Whenever you make an action or say something to a girl, ask yourself is it raising or lowering your social value in her eyes. For example, if you tell a girl that the last 2 girlfriends you had broke up with you after 3 weeks, you might think that the girls were just bitches, but what she's hearing is that you weren't good enough for 2 girls in a row.

    With regards to lieing and cheating, the guys usually lie to get her in the first place. Lie about the kind of guy they are. Then after they girl is atratcted to them and the cheating starts, they still are attached to the guy so it doesn't matter what he does as much.

    It is honorable that you don't lie or cheat, but the feminine subconscious may interpret this as...'he wouldn't lie or cheat because he doesn't get the opportunity to do so, because not many other women want him'

    Most women do want a loyal, and honorable guy, but don't bullsh*t yourself, everybody tells lies

    • I know everyone lies, but I am talking about stuff like pulling Tiger Woods BS where you cheat, or where you are just a complete ass hole. I mean I'm not just some whipped pussy, but I think you need to respect women and make them feel good, while also being a tough guy. Too me you can be tough and nice too.

  • This question has been asked on here so many times that I'll just give you a summary of the typical responses they elicit:

    "bad boys are more exciting"

    "bad boys are better looking"

    "nice guys are too clingy"

    "stop whining"

    "you'll find a girlfriend eventually"

    "please don't turn into a jerk, if you stay celibate for 30 years women will finally get sick of the jerks and will give you a chance"

    ...and if you show any kind of frustration in your question/comments you'll get "well I guess you are just a jerk (although not the good kind of jerk that makes me horny)"

    That's that in a nutshell

    • Well I won't admit I'm needy, but I don't see why guys have to act like assholes, but I'm also worried that if I keep being nice I'll get s****ed on and end up never having a gf, so I'm kinda stuck, and I don't believe in changing myself just to get women, I mean I hate it when girls change just to get guys. Only Change if YOU WANT TO

  • Women don't like a guy who won't be assertive and is in general just boring lol. You don't have to be an ass, but you don't act like a helpless little puppy around her. Just stop being a push over and for the love of god stop thinking women are goddesses. They are people who despite having a different body chemistry are very much like you. Good luck!

  • Nice guys are usually nice because they can't afford not to be. Jerks can afford to do things that might risk harming their relationship with girls because they have more options (or at least that's the perception they send). Nice guys behave as if they no options, and that's what girls are not attracted to.

  • I can very much sympathize with your unwillingness to quit being a nice guy. I'm the same way, even if it did mean I was better at the dating game. It just seems so false.

    I think one of the main points of nice guy-ness is that women don't see a typical nice guy as being good at sex. A lot of women want the guy to take charge (some to an extreme), but a nice guy will want both himself and his partner to be equally involved, like in most aspects of their relationship. It pretty much boils down to what the woman wants vs. the nice guy having the respect for her to not treat her like a hunk of flesh with a vagina.

    This isn't to say that women want you to ALWAYS be dominant in the sack (some might, but that's another issue). However, when they think about sex with you, they will probably be thinking about you being dominant. If they can't see you doing that, they could easily lose interest.

    • Well then what do I do, I mean I don't wanna be some jerk and be like "ya babe I'm the best at everything and all I want you for is for sex, I mean I have respect for them. Also though, I do believe that men should be strong and take charge, but not like being a jerk, it means giving your all for them and being their strength and a whole lot of other things.