How long does it take a guy to get over a heartbreak?

[Anonymous]

If a guy, like my boyfriend, is holding back and taking things slow cause he doesn't want to get hurt again from someone he really likes, how long does he need to repair? or how long does it usually take for him to realize he has a good thing and doesn't wanna risk losing it? We have been together, slowly as mentioned before, for a yr and a half and he still takes it slow, small improvements though, he's busy with work he has like two jobs at the moment, we're long-distance. So what do you think? Should he be over being scared of rejection by now or it's okay and reasonable its taking this long and it might take longer considering all the other factors? If he should be over rejection by now, could it be something else? What makes me not believe that is his little improvements and efforts and our growth as a couple that says he does want to be with me.

[knightengale]

There is sadly no set time for how long the heart takes to heal. It can be days, weeks or years. It all comes down to how deeply that pain was and how much fear that has given us (as a guy) going forward. Yet that doesn't also mean there is no chance of building something in the process.

My best advice is talk to him about what is holding him back, what fear from the heartbreak is making him take slow steps?
Then offer to support him but in a way that helps him push through this fear.
I think that he is past the heartbreak, but is scared more of getting hurt again than of the past relationship. I. e he loved someone that hurt him and doesn't want you to do the same. SO seeing love from you equally brings up that fear that you might.
Overall get to the root of the slowness and you will build a stronger relationship in the process :-)

[Asker]

Yeah for sure talking and asking him about it is the ideal solution however, he's not open about his feelings. A lot of guys say they're not either but I see them open up way more easily than him. He's hard to crack not only cause he won't budge but cause he gets irritated fast like he fears of a fight. So it won't he easy to talk to him especially about this. How can I possibly ask him without coming off as a bother or scare him away?

[knightengale]

Maybe he needs some professional help to help you both get through this together.
He is scared to open this up to you and maybe with some help he can work through it. If you can come to him with kindness and express that you are wanting to get closer to him and it's not that you are unhappy but that you want him to feel safer with you than anyone else because you want to be there for him etc. This will take lots of very small steps but it can work if you try and offer support to his fear

[Streamhopper]

It can take a long time, depending on the guy. Years, in some cases, and it also depends on the relationship they had, how close they were, etc. Lot of factors.

[simplyadorable]

it depends. my friend's boyfriend started a relationship 4 years after his breakup. though he said he had some flings during those years, while for others it only took months.