Fuck buddy question? Should I ask for clarification?

[Anonymous]

I'll try to make this quick and to the point. About a month ago, my roommate had some friends over, a few guys and girls. We were all hanging out and drinking, and one of the guys showed interest in me. It was fun flirting with him, and when everyone was heading out he asked to spend the night. I said yes, but was drunk, and my roommate had him sleep in our living room. This was due to the fact that up to this point, I had remained abstinent for about a year and a half.

A week later said guy came over again, and we ended up having sex. It was fun and we exchanged numbers. A few days later we had sex again, and again about four or five days later. I've enjoyed having sex with him because it's been casual, he's voiced his attraction to me (if only purely physical), and I'm moving cities in about two weeks from today.

We haven't had sex in almost two weeks. Not a big deal, I'm not tripping over that, but I will admit I'm a bit frustrated/confused. A few days ago he texted me and I was hoping we could chill (and have sex), but he had work in the morning. He said he'd come over the next day, but he didn't. I had texted him late that night to see if he was coming over, and he didn't answer.

My my question is: if I text him again, would that be pathetic and/or would I seem needy? The thing is, I really have no feelings for him aside from lust. I really just like having sex with him, although he is a nice person. But I guess it's a weird pride thing/I'm conscious of how I seem to others, that I don't want to text him. I have had issues with anxiety since elementary school, and talking to guys that aren't just friends messes with me as well.

Anyway, what do y'all think? I know this really is a trivial issue and I could find someone else to mess with, but I was just curious. Part of me wants to text him and ask if he's "dtf" anymore lol. I'm quite inexperienced when it comes to men (when it's not strictly platonic relationships) so I don't want to make an ass of myself, at the same time I'm moving and I don't have any reason to trip over this. by the way, I know he has no obligation to be on call for me, since we're just having sex. I was just kinda stoked to have someone to mess around with, as juvenile as it sounds.

Anyway, I hope I made sense. If there's anything k left out that would help y'all give me a thorough answer, lemme know.

[MattXRT]

You can't have friends with benefits.

Pretty much, you can be their friend, or get the benefits, if you don't want to have a proper relationship with them.

Staying FRIENDS with them means you grow to love them as a person too.

A friend of mine has a tendency to start "friends with benefits" relationships as soon as she's out of serious relationships.
That causes feelings to grow between her and her partner, while she still has unresolved issues for her exes.

Sure, it seems handy. All the sex with none of the feelings. But it doesn't work like that.

In my experience, it can't.

[Asker]

Thanks for your comment. I do agree that sex friend relationships/set-ups aren't ideal or are really "healthy" for either person involved. I feel comfortable with the decisions I've made regarding the guy I spoke about, but I understand and appreciate your comment.

[longjohndan]

well, you failed the quick and to the point goal, ofc when a chick says she's going to be quick and to the point, that usually means you should pull up a chair and settle in for the long haul.

if you are fuck buddies then quit making a big deal out of it... when you are horny, you text him and tell him to serve it up, he's like a sex toy that responds to text messages... If that means you wanna fuck 15 times a day, then text him 15 times a day.

[Asker]

I tried my best to keep it short and display my concerns efficiently. Guess I need to work on that!

Thanks for your comment. I know we're just fucking and as I stated I don't have feelings for him, I just felt anxious about reaching out to him. Thank you for your input!