Can someone give me some advice to put him in his place without loosing him forever?
Me and my boyfriend had been together for almost 4 years on and off, he was a really bad temper and tends to be very moody so sometimes he explodes and it causes a sudden break up. We had been really great together until I heard from someone recently that he was fooling around with another girl and so I confronted him about it. He freaked out and broke it off saying he thinks we should see other people. I'm so confused right now and deep down I feel like this is just the wrong choice for both of us. Can someone give me some advice to put him in his place without loosing him forever?
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
Hey sounds a little similar to me:) Alright so for me I can be very sensitive and emotional (yes I did just say that) but it's usually because I'm going through a rough time. I never mean to take anything out on my loved ones but it does happen. Is this something where you think "I just wish the guy that I met the first two years would come back"? If so then he probably has a few things going on. For me, I was trying to make myself better and control my frustrations, however, my Ex didn't give it enough time (let me know her feelings and then broke up a week later because she didn't want to work at it). Now if you have let your guy know about your frustrations and he hasn't tried to curb his anger (or going to a therapists) is he really worth it? I at least tried to change. As far as cheating I don't know. I know for me in my relationship my ex was about 70mi away going to school. I would every know and then go onto the dating websites while we were still together just to see other girls. I wouldn't message any of them though but I really did it because I was lonely and just wanted to look around. Your Boyfriend might have been looking around too. If it was me and I did the same thing to a girl it would be because I didn't feel that she was there for me and that I just wanted somebody to hold. Sensitive guys are hard to deal with. We can be as emotional as a girl but have the intensity and intimidation of any guy. Together it makes us seem angry and intimidating. However we are usually insecure about ourselves and want someone there to reassure us. The only exception is if the guys is just plain mean but it doesn't necessarily sound like it. I wouldn't go groveling back to him though or even beg. In a guys mindset if you do that then he will have an attitude that you owe him for taking you back. And HE WILL LORD IT OVER YOU. First If he really wants to be with you and he was having his emotional fits then don't call him. Let him call you. You have to play hard to get but don't pull the bait too far from him so he won't despair. If he does call you just keep it short and simple for the first few calls and then go a little longer. Let him know that he hurt you and that things need to change. (this is what my ex did to me except she didn't wait to see results). I would say that if he truly loves you then he will try to make the necessary changes to get back with you. If he does want to get back with you there is couples counciling. It's not necessarily for marriage but if you invest 4 years in a relationship then it might help to invest some money to keep it going (again this is if he does get back together with you and only tell him this if wants to change). Overall Spend some time reviewing your relationship. Go to a park and lay down. Don't get over emotional about not seeing but think about what you could have done and what he could have done and over all if it's worth making it last.
What Guys Said 2
The mood and bad temper could be that he is angry with himself at times, but ends up taking it out on others. That could fit, If he had been fooling around and has this guilt eating at him. If that's the case, then the only way to get past his hostility is to get him to give up what makes him feel angry. And he was angry before you confronted him, so it's not about mistrust. I hear about on and off relationships a lot and had one myself. Maybe some are different, but it always seemed to me that each time we got back together, things were farther from being right. Unless he was to get counseling about his anger, I think that deep down feeling is what you should listen to.
There isn't a risk free path to happiness. You have to stick to your guns and until he admits he has a problem there's no hope of it getting better. Good for you for confronting him!
What Girls Said 1
'He say", "She say", don't hate that? This someone, who told you he was fooling around," you have to watch that dog that's bringing you that bone. " Don't listen to that. I'm not sure if a friend told you or a relative, but if it wasn't a relative, I wouldn't be to quick to listen to anyone else, I had an experience where a (so-called) friend kept bringing me information about my man, she knew more about what my man was doing than I did, that didn't click until I found out she was the one he was fooling around with. (But that's a whole other subject). The temper, that could be a problem for you, if he is so quick to dump you for confronting him, why are you so fearful of losing him? He explodes, and you break-up, you confront him, and you break-up, what is it that confuses you? If he has a temper, I'm not sure if you want to try this. I say, give him a taste of his own medicine. Make yourself so unavailable to this guy, that he thinks you have left town. Avoid him at all cost, he had no right breaking up with you for merely asking him a question, he has no right exploding, and breaking up with you, who does this guy think he is? Considering the fact that this guy needs anger management, he needs to deal with that, because you don't deserve his explosions, and disrespect, I assume you really like this guy, but, you should be able to ask him whatever you want, you shouldn't have to be on pins and needles when you are with this guy, and, there are to many guys out there, that would treat you better, I say, see other people, (like he said), or at least make him think you are, otherwise he is gonna continue treating you the way he does, and if you are okay with that, that is sad. Avoid him for a little while, at least long enough for him to re-think his behavior. You don't need that.