Which do men prefer, shy or aggressive women?

I'm just curious. Which of these two traits that men like the most.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Shy, not that I'm opposed to somewhat agressive women, I just prefer the challange and sweetness of shy women. There's something to be said for enjoying the closeness and tenderness that shy women are more often attuned to. Aggressive women are more likely to give exciting and fun moments while shy women are more likely to give tender moments and offer up the opportunity to work at breaking through to her to hold her warm heart in my hands so to speak.

    Not to mention, I'd say typically there are more times with shy women that men can feel as though they are "protecting" her and providing other "manly services" this is my reasoning for being more prone to shy women are my preference, also there is more of a, at least to me, cuteness factor that comes from shy women more so than aggressive ones. Of course none of this is to say I'd outright turn down a more aggressive woman, after all I'm more interested in personality and other traits than just how well she can immediately express herself, some shy women or only initially shy until warming up and becoming more familiar with people.

    Anyways, I hope I've answered your question to the best of my ability. Best of luck to you (because who couldn't use extra luck no matter what it goes towards) and I hope this has answered your question well enough.

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What Guys Said 24

  • Perhaps something in between?

  • Your question seems to be predicated on the basis that these traits are opposite poles and always dominant. I have worked for, with and senior to women who have assertiveness, can be competitively aggressive in their working life and yet many women have taken me into confidence and revealed a shyness in their private life that has surprised me, I as a man am shy in some circumstances but outspoken and assertive in others.

    It all depends how we are socialised [I feel] as to how our characters turn out and I have to say that I have enjoyed the company of ladies where the shyness is uppermost and also where the opposite is true. I feel there can be a 'cute' side to shyness but it can hamper in a devastating way if it is too severe. As also can aggressiveness. Some women adopt false aggressiveness to make their way up in a male dominated environment - then in their private life the fake has taken over and they cannot simply 'be'.

    There are also women who are 'aggressively shy' I know a lady who is well known in one country and has to deal with that fame as an intensely shy person, it is incredibly difficult.

    We are all a mixture of so many different traits and they are there held in check sometimes for different reasons. A very shy woman may need to stand up and fight for the rights of a suddenly disabled husband, an aggressive woman may need to watch her daughter date a boy she has disquiet about but knows an aggressive stance would only encourage the bond.

    For me ... ? I prefer a lady who has some of both and is happy to have both.

  • I prefer modest, but with solid opinions. I don't find girls that are easily persuaded or get pushed around very attractive. But mysteriousness is always good. :)

  • Neither

    A shy girls displays insecurity which usually involves her not wanted to be accepted, but rather victimized to reinforce her idea that she is not responsible for herself and the things that happen to her.

    Aggression is an alpha trait used to assist any animal in sustaining carnal needs like hunger and sex. Girls who are aggressive usually lie, cheat, and steal in order to satisfy whatever craving they may have at the moment.

    I find it much more attractive for a girl to just react according to the world around her, rather than react to the thoughts in her head and how she can manipulate, or avoid them.

    • So like a go with the flow type of girl?

    • You could put it that way. More of a "makes every situation a positive one" kind of girl. But that's like see an albino white owl in downtown LA.

    • Why three thumbs down? The dude's absolutely right!

  • aggressive FTW!

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What Girls Said 6

  • I'm a woman and I'm very much shy. Sometimes I think men would prefer a woman to not be shy. If your shy its kind out hard to turn a man out in bed.

  • My experience says most guys like us aggressive women, if they don't admit it!

  • i think maybe aggressive is the wrong word here. I'm thinking, shy or assertive?

  • I don't think anyone could prefer anyone aggressive

  • Wow, I am quite surprised to find out guys actually like shy girls much better! I'm posting a question!

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