Why do I attract insecure guys?

[Anonymous]

why do i Always attract insecure guys? Like all the guys that ever liked me & was in a relationship with always turned out to be insecure. for example being overly protective of me , possessive , controlling & jealous for little things. One of my exes even went to the extreme of wanting to look thrilu my phone constantly. & sometimes he would make me feel bad by pointing out my flaws saying i can't dress, or i dress innaprpriately & even saying thingd about my hair!!! ughhh it upsets me so much because i dont treat him like this & i know there's tons of guys out there that would value me & treat me right. Why do i provoke such insecurity in men?

[thetundrawolf]

Probably because you are a down to Earth, non threatening girl. They can feel safe and secure, but because they are insecure, they are unable/incapable of truly loving you, so they become afraid of losing you.

Count your blessings, you are a good woman, a true catch, a prize. Look for a confident man who will recognize that in you, yet remain confident. You will be the rock of his foundation, his pillar of strength.

Listen to your instincts FIRST, your heart second. Women have razor-sharp instincts. Use yours.

[Asker]

yeaa i have strong instincts & recognize signs pretty quickly yet i always ignore it..😒

[thetundrawolf]

Stop ignoring them! They will save you from a broken heart.

Instead, learn to ignore your heart just long enough to truly consider your instincts.

For example, if the guy you are looking at is totally hot, or let's say he's hitting on you and you are flattered- consider your instincts. Your instincts are saying he is immature, and he has a propensity to cheat on women- listen to that! But your heart is saying, "Ohmigosh, he is SO hot, tho!" If you listen to your heart you will end up with an immature guy who will cheat on you, who may even give you an STD- was it worth it? "But my heart said!!!" The heart is necessary for love, but it will deceive you.

[Asker]

you have a point , your so. smart

[thetundrawolf]

I have been through a lot. If you can tame your heart, you will have a chance at a future and a love.

[AnonKuma]

You don't provoke it. It's just the insecurity they have developed over their life time. Some guys naturally are just possessive and do not appreciate the freedom that you may have. There's nothing really you can do about it tbh. However, that day will come when you will meet a guy who will be more comfortable and less insecure about his relationship with you

[Asker]

Patiently waiting for dat day... 😩

[Anonymous]

I don't know why, probably most guys your age are insecure. But now you're becoming an expert on the subject and I'm sure you'll be able to spot them out more easily each time and run away before you even get involved :)

[Asker]

makes sense