How do guys know they are handsome?

Some guys say, "I'm really handsome/good-looking, if only I could get better with talking to girls or making moves..."

How do you know you're good-looking? Even though I've been told that I am from time to time, girls don't seem very interested from just looking at me.

Thanks to everybody for the responses, I read and appreciate every single one. Always room for more opinions and commentary.
Background: I've been told I'm good looking or "cute" a handful of times in my life...but ONLY a handful of times. I'm usually passed up for other guys with a bigger personality. Girls just don't like me that much. Then again, I don't get out much...

Most Helpful Guy

  • There's a HUGE difference between being "Good Looking" (genetic potential) and "Looking Good" (socially calibrated man of status.)

    You need to change your mindset about women and dating. Women are FAR less superficial than us guys, so you need to accept that how you look has very little effect on her attraction towards you.

    Instead you need to learn how attraction works. Women respond to who you're BEING, not how you look, or what you say.

    It's about how you see yourself, and how you express your value, worth, esteem.

    This is why women will continue to say they want to meet a man who's "confident and funny" over "handsome and rich."


    Because attraction is about feelings. You need to influence how she FEELS if you want to attract her. This comes from how you express yourself (are you shy, weak, insecure, needy, desperate, conceited, shallow, superficial, or judgmental?) and how you interact with those you meet ( are you calibrated, comfortable, brave, trusting, mysterious, humorous, interesting, caring, sincere, or honest?)

    Let go of the ideas of being "handsome" and you'll be free to REALLY see what women respond to - who you're BEING when you're with her.

    (About Attraction: link )

    Good luck dude!

    ~ Robby

    • Some of them are more superficial than the term itself, indeed.

    • Do you really think women are less shallow than men are?

    • I think women don't CHOOSE to feel attraction.. because it's not a choice. And I KNOW that women will feel more attracted to a guy who's BEING attractive over a guy who just LOOKS attractive.

      Women are less influenced by your outer shell than you are by hers. Definitely.

      If you're a HOT Guy, but you're a dim wit when you talk, she'll move on. Can we guys say the same thing about a Hot Girl?