What happens on guys' nights out?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been on sort of a rough patch and said he needs space. He said he wants to start going out with his buddies (most of them single) more often. I trust that he won't cheat, but I feel uncomfortable and uneasy about him going out without me (what happens if he meets someone better? what happens if he realizes he wants to be single? what happens if he starts checking out other women and feels dissatisfied with me?).

I don't really like going out, since I have no close friends here since I started college 3 years ago. And also because he doesn't trust me (he hates my past, and before I met him I used to go out a lot and hook up with random guys, no sex though only making out). But anyway he has trust issues because he's been cheated on more than once, so I avoid trouble by not going out. But I kind of resent him having a lot of fun with the guys while I stay alone at home, with no one to be with. As I said, no close friends.

So what do guys do? How important are "chicks" on your nights out (as in, is it necessary to go to a strip club? or a regular club where there are hot single chicks? or is it unimportant and you can have a good night out without ogling being necessary?).

Thanks.

Updates

+1 y

I know this is a huge insecurity issue on my part, but I don't like him checking out other women. I'm not really attractive to begin with (nothing I can help, short of surgery) so I just hate the fact that he wants to go out to see all these hot women.

[MisterGQ]

If your man say he love you and show it day to day don't worry bout guys night out...

Question? What keeps your man busy. When I say busy what gets him started...What ever it is do more of that if its send naked pics or what eva it might be DO IT.. LET HIM FEEL LUCKY TO HAVE YOU AS A GIRL.

CONFIDENCE: Guys LOVE a girl that has confidence..(as do girls like guys with confidence) Don't act like your to worried about "Guys Night Out".. yes talk about it with him bout don't sweat it.

Now what happens on guys night out stay with the fellas... it might get a little PG-13 maybe R but all in all it only builds his confidence. Bottom line he is coming home to you.

When he gets home to you... it's ON like DONKEY KONG!

p.s tell him to just call you when he's get out the club, bar, or where ever they go.

[Asker]

We don't live together. What do you mean it gets R rated and builds confidence? Like get lap dances or what? Please explain.

[Asker]

BTW, how can I feel ok that he's having fun while I'm home alone? As I said I don't have any friends and he doesn't like me going out alone anyway because he thinks I'll go back to my old, single ways. I won't but he's convinced if I go out without him I'll hook up with someone. So I don't bother going out and I resent that he wants to go out while I "can't".

[Asker]

Oh, one more thing, why (whatever R rated thing that happens) would build his confidence? Why does he need other women to build up his confidence? He has me, why does he need to go to other women to have his ego stroked or confidence built up? If a woman so much flirts with another guy or dresses to impress she's considered a slut! Even if it might be a confidence booster.

[nijlpaard]

Hey common, what happens on guys night, is only for they guys! But serious: is he going to look at women that night? yes, he will... but no more than when he meets women in his daily life. Getting an affair is not so much confined to a bar, but can happen ANYWHERE. So, when the guys go out... let them have fun! I'll do the same thing in return.

[rebecca1327]

Well put yourself in his position. What does he think when you go out with all your girlfriends. He probably has the same questions running through his head. You just need to trust each other. Relationships need air to survive. You need to make your own friends and he needs to spend time with his. Otherwise you'll run out of stuff to talk about if you spend every minute of the day together. Sit down and have a frank discussion about all aspects of the issue (him not trusting you included). And if things don't work out it's not the end of the world. You'll find someone who won't judge you that way and will trust you as long as you trust them as well.

[Asker]

I don't go out on girls night out because he suspects of me. Not because I've done anything wrong while being with him, but because he knows in the past (when I was single) I used to hook up with men at bars. Now that I'm not single I'd never do it again, but he doesn't understand that. Hence, I don't go out.

[ashley23]

If you trust your man then there should be no reason that he shouldn't go out with his buddies... the only thing that sounds a little fishy is the I need space thing that's usually the beginning of the end in my opinion...

You say you trust him yet you have all these concerns which in reality seem to say you don't actually trust him

No matter where men go..strip club, reg club or a dive bar there are going to be women some hot some not...if he truley is who you think he is it shouldn't matter.

Express your feelings on this situation to him... and by all means find some friends sweetie because why should he have all the fun!

[fedorfan100]

^^^^ I agree

[Anonymous]

i think if he loves you he will not go to a strip club or anything that makes him "need" other women. if he loves you he will TRULY be faithful to you. not just what men say is loyal by not physically doing anything. if he does its just an excuse to be an a**.

[armyant]

You both have totally different issues. You're so insecure that you think he's going to run off with some bar hooch even though you "trust he won't cheat". And he doesn't trust you because he's judging you based on what other girls did to him before you came along.

It's serious talk time.

[Anonymous]

Me and my friends just sit and talk. Most of the times we don't talk any girls, and if we do, only the singles are flirting. And we don't have strip clubs where I live so that is not even an option.

[Gmane]

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

[Asker]

How helpful... that only makes me more suspicious... but thanks.