I was with a player who was changed, but there was a limit to his ability to change.
First, I will tell you how some guys can date a few girls at once without feeling badly. It is because they are still seeing the girls as objects, not as people. Girls represent something to them, like being "the man". I think more guys would see multiple girls (if sex was involved and it did not cost them an arm and a leg to date) if they could. All guys, even nice ones, start by seeing you and objectifying you sexually. It's almost a reflex action. They cannot help themselves. They have all this testosterone running through their bodies and every time they glimpse a girl that turns them on, they think of sex with her. But, most guys find a limit to their chances to meet girls and convert them into playthings. Mostly guys either find some difficulty meeting women or just difficulty getting a woman to convert quickly to having sex. So, guys end up getting to know you as a human being. Players don't get to know you as a human being. They may seem like they are, but they aren't. They won't really remember much of what you say and won't be consistent or reliable.
So, beyond that, yes, I think players can change and it depends on your definition of a "player" and how old they are. My personal observation is somewhere around 29/30 guys start getting a better handle on what they want in life and they may also be tired of all the work it takes to "play". My ex-boyfriend, the somewhat reformed player, was definitely tired of the work. He was cheap, did not want to date or pretend he was all into a girl. But, realistically, he did not want to be with one girl either. In the end, his need to be more of a single guy rather than with someone ended our relationship. So, the reason I say he changed is that he did develop an emotional connection with me, he saw me as a human being. But he still ended up f***ing around on me with a girl that he saw as an object, someone to have sex with and boost his ego.
I would just be very careful before believing a player was actually changing. I don't think I would believe anyone under 30 that said they were changing, to tell the truth. Unfortunately, it can be real hard to know if a guy like this is telling the truth and sometimes, for me, it just wouldn't be worth it to date him.
I dated a guy who was this type. You could see through his actions. but he was at the stage where all hi friends were getting married so it kinda hit him. So he was very serious with me.
he even proposed to me 3 months later (he was soooooo fast in the whole relationship). the quick steps he took, I don't think anyone would take.
so anyhow, I had to calm him down, I said its only been 3 months I wanna get to know you better. So I put the marriage thing aside.
However, these types of guys, because of their nature, they cannot settle down easily (I would say 99% of them). They make quick moves and then slow down or realize "WTF was I thinking" and break up. Hot & cold type of thing.
Anyhow, he ended up breaking up with me in a blink of an eye! which is weird, you don't just break up with the person you proposed to a couple of weeks ago right?
They are a bit "COOKOO" in the matter of settling down.
I would say don't waste your time on him. unless you just wanna have fun. but don't expect anything serious. cause they never can be. they are very messed up in that matter.
if he's a cheat thenhe may change but a player dnt they keep girls to the side but they will have a main 1 they may not have sex with the girls on the side but they will contiunue playing there little game with them ,they may just kiss cuddle and do other things like fingring tossing off. but it does dependon the person, at the moment I can't commit myself to one person I get bored but I aso like to play a bit of a game the key is sex for the girl you do not give but I only play his game with the players I can tell a player I get a sence. but men they like to take control of the women, they wil make you feel bad make you feel everythink is your thought to keep you there make you feel sorry for them they have ways but normally a player don't change it becomes an addiction its very hard to get out of if he's older then he prbly wnt . WHATEVER You DO .. DO NOT GIVE THE GAME AWAY DONT TELL HIM UR FEELINGS DNT LET HIM CONTROL You DNT GIVE HIM SEX AND C IF HE WAITS PLAY A LITTLE BIT BACK BUT TRY NOT TO GET TO INVOLVED ..!
Believe it or not it's a learned behavior started from a young age that is gained from watching their parents. If their parents cheat, there's a high probability they will cheat as they grow older.
Behaviors like these are borderline impossible to curve, especially if the person grows older without making any concious effort to. If he's 18, there's a small possibility he can change, but he really has to want to, and he really has to work at it (And have some reference behavior to pick up on to learn not to cheat, like a happily married friend or an article or book).
If he's 25+, it's pretty darn hard. If he's over thirty, forget it.
To answer your question, they only ever change if they're still young and they are working at it and getting results. If you see no results, and especially if they're in their late twenties, then they aren't going to change. BTW, a relapse negates any results.
There's maybe an exception or two out there, but you hever a better chance of winning the lottery.
In my experience they will continue to at least have some interaction with other women that could be considered cheating, not always sexual but can be. If a guy does that its because its just part of his personality to find things he likes in lots of different women, but if he's growing up and settling down then he is changing, or has changed, probably not enough to stop the behavior entirely because stopping any behavior entirely is rare. But if he is "settling down" then there is probably just one girl that is special to him, even if there are some other girls he seems to take interest in.
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nope. most of them are shallow and will seek out their next prey if they see a niave girl who doesn't know any better. they don't change. take one of my ex boyfriends for an example, he has not changed a bit. he's still a player. but probably once he gets obese, bald and ugly when he's older, he might reconsider his maladaptive behavior but I mean these guys who are players, their reputation eventually catches up with them. and remember guys take a longer time to mature generally than girls of their same age.
Depends on the person.
I'm a player, but when I'm in a relationship I don't play guys. I'm a very committed girlfriend. but when I'm single I play guys like no other. its a hobby/habit of mine that I like to do. When I play guys I have two different cellphone, have a different personality, name, etc. its fun see how many guys I can play.
I only became one because I got played couple of times. we all have our reasons why we are players. And depends on the person if they wanna change or not. but don't have your hopes up because once a player always a player.
It is a choice to make. To change is to have control to yourself, discipline and the determination to do it. Even a nice guy can be a player over time if he wanted to. Same thing for players, they can be a nice guy if they decided to.
To answer the question, my stand is people change and it is possible when they decided to settle down. Now, how they manage their life after that should test it. Though I would think they will occasionally do it because it is not that easy (this is as hard as when you want to quit smoking). But yeah, this is possible.
I always believe in the goodness of a person. All the best.
Depends on the guy. It could all be a phase or something. Maybe his buddies think its cool so he keeps doing it. But I think when he finds "the girl" he'll try really hard to stop messing around.
If its a girl I think it has to do more with how they feel with themselves and if they're insecure they'll do it until they find someone that fits in with everything they want.
For both sexes though I think they have to have a reason to stop and if they don't have one (or a concenious) then they won't stop for a while.
Most guys do mature and are ready to settle down into a permanent relation by about the age of 30. Some from 25 onwards, it varies a little from one man to the next.
Beware the smooth, handsome charming stud who naturally attracts women. He isn't designed for monogamy and is likely to have extramarital sex even after he's married. He may be a catch but you'll want to throw him back sooner or later.
Why would it be wrong to date multiple women if you are not committed as in a relationship or have an agreement that you will only date a certain one. I dated nine women at one time, and lost one here and there, gained a few more, and then I chose the best one and she is now my gf. Does that make me a player?
They definitely do change. It's a phase which there can never really be a set timeline. Eventually, guys get tired of the game at one point or another and decide that they just want a good girl they want to settle down and have kids with. They never realize they want that though until they actually reach that point. I hope this helps. Good luck!
Rarely do players change to the point they become totally faithful. Sure they can keep their weenie in their pants for a time, but sooner or later they miss the action. Too many of my friends that were Players have remained faithful. And I mean they were married to Beautiful women.
the can settle down for a while,but occasionally, they start "playing" again, specially if the girl is not right for them or they're not happy in the relationship. I know that cause my brother was/is sort of a player, but when he finds a girl he likes, he settles. then the start having issues and he stars all over again...thats a little immature, so I guess it has to do with maturity and responsability, and feelings, the relationship...its very variable.
The way I see it, if he's playing the game now, you don't know when he's gonna quit. It might be next week or it might be next decade or it might not be ever. If you're prepared to wait then stay with him, if you want someone more mature then move on. They do change sometimes, but you never know, and it's a pretty big gamble. I'd say look for someone who's already decided they don't want to be a player.
I've been with someone for 5 years who used to shag a different girl every night. I didn't know this when we got together, I discovered it with time.
With me he was the most lovely man in the world. Shame I was not in love with him anymore and that was the reason we split up but at least I know they do change.
I like your question.First,define dating.My definition is something like this;A Guy and A Girl spending time together usually doing something fun.The guy spending his hard earned money.In a attempt to determine mutual interest.Close enough?If both parties become physically intimate even if isn't sex,then is it still considered dating?That's not something I usually engage in with someone I'm not seeing exclusively.Now some guys on the other hand believe in sampling a little of everything on the menu,if you know what I mean.That's why there are so many Baby's daddy's running around and shows like 16 and pregnant.I think some guys never grow up,other guys take longer to figure out what they're looking for,and then settle on one special Lady.I'm at the point where I know exactally what I want.
Hope that helps.
Our values, principles and morals never really change, unless the cause for the occassional exception. Sometimes you can loose something that is so valuable as a result of your actions that makes you re think who you are, how you behave and how you treat others.
It all depends on the guy. Some can change, some can't circumstances and situations will dictate. I believe the saying is "a leopard never changes its spots" I believe this true unless under exceptional circumstances.
Yo, lissen up. I'm not gonna tell dis to anyone else. We always playin da game. Later on its differ rulez, different game but we still be playin. Might not be havin sex with other girlies or kissing but wes be hangin out, huggin and havin fun. Yeah sure we want to settle down wif some honey but we also wants our snacks too. Ya feels me?
Some men, never change. Some change completely, some change mostly, but still play a little. The trick is not to wait for them to change, or to change them. The trick is to find the one who doesn't need to change, or the one who already has.
It all depends on the girl, its her actions that will either trap the guy and keep him honest and faithful, or will lead him to go back to his wild life! its all depends on her!
Eventually we want to settle down and get married at some point. I'd rather find that one special girl to share my life with then to brag about how many girls I slept with.
i was the biggest player, and now am engeged to a wonderful man, what am trying to say is yes players could settle down.
nah. its just a game
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