My boyfriend caught me 'Cheating' he was dangerously calm... He told me to delete his number I'm confused?

[Anonymous]

First of all I say 'cheating' because we never actually did the act but me and this guy were kissing which was all. His response was I had the intention even thou I never had sex. It's been a week now and when he caught us at my mums house he opened the door and closed it as soon as he realised something was going on. Now I'm not saying what I did was OK but I feel like he should forgive me because nothing actually happened except a kiss. The boy left but my boyfriend was talking to my mother about general things at first I thought he was speaking about me. Anyway he said goodbye to her and declined offer to stay for dinner. I tried to explain nothing happened but he was slapping my hands away from grabbing him. He kept saying its about the intention to cheat and not the act that's the issue. He didn't care that I was crying which was the first time that he's been like this. He never even raised his voice throughout he kept demanding that i delete his number. He has covered for me when my Mum asked what was wrong because we were acting suspicious. Anyway he walked out by shoving me away from the door. I'm just really confused he never said that he'd break up with me and he never looked like he was angry at all. I sent him a bunch of texts and called him a lot but there's no response. How can I get him to forgive me? I feel like normally he would forgive me but he seemed like he wants a reason to be angry.

[kaylaS91]

uhh... him catching you kissing a guy who's not your boyfriend IS being caught cheating. Please tell me you realize that there are may ways to cheat on your partner, not just physically and through sex but also emotionally.

In any case, sounds like he's basically through with you. He seems to get what cheating is all about. It's not devastating to most who find their bf/gf cheated on them to just think that they were physical or in some way involved with another. It's more the betrayal of trust, being treated like old laundry that is like being stabbed in the heart. He never looked angry because he was still in shock, acknowledging the fact that he couldn't continue being with someone who failed something as simple as remaining faithful.

[RJGraveyTrain]

If you can't do it in front of your lover: it's cheating. Cheating isn't just sexual; it's emotional and physical in multiple forms so yeah, you cheated.

I 100% support what he did. He has every right to be mad and he handled the situation appropriately and well in my opinion. I'm sorry, but you kissed another guy and may have done more under the right circumstances, he doesn't know. That's cheating to me.

You can't make him forgive you if he doesn't want to. You have to back off and let him reach out to you if he wants to fix things.

[MaskedSanity]

"I feel like he should forgive me"

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Not taking this shit seriously, even if it's legit. There's just too much stupid in one post.

[SongBird3]

my words exactly

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Wow that guy is pretty awesome. I hope that stoic attitude stays with him. As for your infraction of is it considered cheating? yes.
Is he ever coming back? 99% sure he's gone
Did you fuck up? ... Yes, who hasn't?

Best thing you can do is simply send a goodbye text and let that be that. And focus on yourself for a bit, as in what made you kiss the guy, why did you want him over... etc. Also i would suggest not rebounding which i imagine is very real in your mind. Just don't, you have nothing to gain. Also only time is going to fix this so during that time instead of dicking around with other guys work on who you are as a person so it doesn't happen again.

[YellowCactus]

WOW just WOW...

[Anonymous]

Kissing is cheating, period.

There was nothing for him to say, at that point. He's done, and I don't blame him. You've lost his trust, and he's right to walk away.

Don't even try to win him back. It's just going to piss him off, and he's not going to forgive you, because he shouldn't.

[Bonnie12I27I12]

people like you seriously piss me off :) you cheated on this guy. you betrayed him, his heart, and his trust. you broke everything. it doesn't matter if you actually wanted to sleep with the other guy or not. kissing is kissing. it's cheating. how would you feel if the roles were reversed? he acted very maturely and was such a gentleman about it. good for him. he didn't raise hell because he knows his worth and realizes that he doesn't need or deserve a cheater. he will not forgive you and it's very stupid of you to actually expect him to. i dont understand why you're so offended lol. you CHEATED yet you expect him to just forgive you and take you back like it's nothing. he seems like a great and very mature guy. he deserves someone just as great who won't cheat on him.

[indie_rock_chick]

Sorry to break this to you but kissing someone else but your boyfriend while you're in a monogamous relationship is considered cheating. It doesn't need to be sex, kissing is a form of cheating. He did break up with you. He didn't say the exact words but telling you to delete his number is like telling you to to delete him from your life aka breaking up. You made the mistake, so I'd say let it go. If he ever wants to forgive you, he will approach you. He needs space because he is hurt and feels betrayed. Just take it as a lesson and don't do it again in the future.

[Cmasterson]

You don't have to sleep with someone in order to cheat on them, so something DID happen if you're swapping saliva with someone else who wasn't your boyfriend, and you guys aren't in an open relationship. He wants a reason to be angry? He has one, he doesn't have to forgive you, but you bombarding his phone isn't going to help, you have to give him his space and he will come and talk to you when he's ready. Not much people will have sympathy for their crying partner who just cheated on them.. be patient.

[YellowCactus]

Since you are Guru, I wondered and need to ask you this, is simply crying a show of remorse or just for a show for a narcissistic people?

[meatballs21]

He is past angry - he is absolutely furious. However, he is managing to keep it under control. Don't push your luck, you've ruined things here. Let him go. If he comes back, he does. He probably won't.

Go fuck that other boy that was worth throwing it all away for.

[YellowCactus]

"Go fuck that other boy that was worth throwing it all away for. "

I don't think they have banged since he might have come to realization that it was her boyfriend 😂 😂

[Sojex]

Well my girlfriend is mad at me cause I smacked her. I didn't full on punch her lights out, I just slapped her that's all. It wasn't right but she shouldn't be mad at me. I think she just wants a reason. To be angry.

That's basically what you're saying. You cheated, period. There's no such thing as kinda cheating, you cheated. He has every right to be mad.

[MikeKane]

wow kudos for the man who knows when to walk. it isn't about just a kiss it is about a betrayal, honestly he probably would of acted the same if he walked in on you screwing him. the thought that someone you love and care for has such little respect for you that they would stab you in the back for a kiss is emotionally degrading and so he has shut you out emotionally and is refusing to feel anything for someone who would do such an awful thing that is why he was calm and just walked away.

[MargaritaPeach]

He was doing his best to remain calm. I'd say he did an impressive job of keeping his composure. Just delete this number... you blew it. Kissing is cheating. Him asking you to delete his number is his way of calling things off. Whatever you two had, you don't have it anymore. :( Just consider it a lesson learned.

[MickyMouse1231]

He has a reason to be a angry. You cheated. Cheating isn't just sex. It's kissing too. How would you feel in that situation? From the sounds of it he wants nothing to do with you and I can't blame him at all. You fucked up. You decided to do this. You don't get to play the victim now and say it was only a kiss. You hurt him. Own up to that and respect the fact that he wants his privacy.

[Blueeyes81]

Good lord. Kissing is cheating in my book. You should take the delete my number as I never want to speak to you again. To be frank, you don't deserve forgiveness. To be forgiven means you show remorse, which you clearly demonstrate that you don't. Down playing it is not remorse.

[Anpu23]

He is gone, he was being stoic, and just trying to get out of the situation and avoid violence. He left you, simple as that. When he asked you to delete his number that was him saying goodbye and that you were through. Stop harassing him and move on.

[gblue25]

You cheated regardless of how you try to put it. If your boyfriend didn't walk in you probably would've slept with the guy. If you go as far to make out with someone then you'll go as far to sleep with them. He's not acting petty. Your in the wrong. You broke the trust in your relationship.

[BuchitaBuchys]

I want to high five this man. He acted mature and responsibly.

You did cheat. The kiss was cheating itself. But even before that, the fact that you talked to that other guy, the situation leading up to it was cheating. The moment you're doing something that you need to hide from your partner because you know it'd hurt them, that's when you know it's cheating.

I'm sorry but I'm so happy that he was strong enough to leave you because he deserves better. Again, I want to high five this man.

[ichot]

"I feel like he should forgive me because nothing actually happened except a kiss"

I don't know how your culture regards kissing nor what kind of kiss it was but a breach of trust doesn't deserve forgiveness.

[Anonymous]

That's the stupidest question I've ever seen. You were kissing some guy! That's cheating! Congratulations on your new title that you'll carry forever; a cheater...

The guy has actually been calm and didn't show you anger, that's a very strong person right there.. you know how much strength it takes to be that calm when being cheated on? I'm so glad he caught you cheating and isn't replying to you, you're not deserving of him. You deserve a guy who you'll catch kissing some other girl...

[HandsomeRaj]

I'm not talking about right and wrong here. All I'm asking is if you had seen your boyfriend make out with a girl what would you have done :)

All that considering that you have never ever kissed another guy when you are in a relationship :)

[Anonymous]

Yeah, you aren't going to get his trust back. That china cup is broken and even if you did manage to glue it back together it would just fall apart the next time it was stressed.

"From hence, ye beauties, undeceived,
Know, one false step is ne’er retrieved,
And be with caution bold.
Not all that tempts your wandering eyes
And heedless hearts, is lawful prize;
Nor all that glisters, gold."

[lyssabugg35]

Oh Thomas, so great

[thatkaruguy]

you cheated kissing is cheating your relationship is done. you broke his trust and even worse think its ok.

[Anonymous]

Okay first of all, kissing another guy is cheating, & I don't think he should forgive you because you're the one fooling around with another guy when you're supposed to be faithful in a relationship; think about it this way, if you caught him kissing another girl, how would you feel?

[LaurenGrace]

Sorry Chick you cheated on whst sounds like a great guy. What ever your reason for kissing the other guy it doesn't matter you did the wrong thing and youve paid the price. he's really pissed he may or msy not ever want to talk to you again but at least give him his time to figure out what next so dont text or ring him.. but also dont go chasing the other guy either

[Ironhorse]

Kissing is cheating don't try and make excuses to ignore the obvious.