Ladies, do you like us guys to be submissive or dominant? (POLL)

So me and my best female friend have been talking about hooking up and making out. And she says she likes he guy to make the first move and that in extreme cases she makes the first move. She also says I should show more initiative ad make the first move, but I'm more of a submissive person. So I don't want to make the first move because of the fear of rejection. So this made me question:

Which do girls like better a dominant guy or a submissive guy?

  • I like the guy to be submissive
    31% (48)57% (51)40% (99)Vote
  • I like the guy to be dominant
    69% (108)43% (39)60% (147)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • Here's the deal- it's not really one or the other all the time. Honestly, no girl wants an entirely submissive guy, but it's more of a continuum rather than just black or white. Some guys are very dominant in all aspects of their lives (must be on the upper end of the power dynamic in a relationship, must be the leader, must make decisions,must make the first move) and therefore want girls who are willing to be more submissive. Some guys are very submissive (tend to let others make all the decisions, let others make the move, don't have upper hand in the power dynamic) so they want a girl who is more dominant. But most guys fall somewhere in between, as do most girls. I personally don't mind making the first move if I really like a guy and just because he doesn't make a move doesn't make him unattractive, nor does it make him entirely submissive. Lots of guys are shy at first but once you get to know them in a relationship they assert themselves quite a bit.

    Basically, it's a personal preference amongst girls,as it is with guys. What you need is to find a girl who compliments you on the spectrum of dominance, if you're in the low end of the middle (which it kind of sounds like to me), you need a girl in the high end of the middle.


    • I agree with this greatly, like I'm opinionated when one knows me but can come off shy to those who don't - to the extent of seeming like a hollow shell. The guy has to be able to break through my shyness barrier - and so must have some degree of dominance, but should be able to realize that even though I seem like a bit of a zombie at first has to be able to take the fact that I can actually think for myself. Relationships are all about balance.

What Girls Said 13

  • I would never even consider dating or hooking up with a submissive guy. I like guys to be assertive and manly and as a man it's your job to come to me and show me that you want me. If I don't want you you'll know in about 3 seconds. There are so many guys now that refuse to act like men and act like little boys instead wondering why girls don't come to them, I think it looks so desperate and pathetic when girls go and throw themselves all over guys. You're a man, act like one!

    • Thank you. At least you're not afraid to tell the truth.

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    • I agree completely with Klaatu51! And maybe the reason why we dont come to girls is some of us are afraid of rejection? You do know mens hearts aren't made of steel right? We have feelings too for God's sake. And sounds like ur one of those who will instantly reject, not caring how the guy feels at all. From your post u imply u make it obvious when u dont like the guy, and its people like u who create guys scared of being rejected. Correct me, if im wrong, but thats what ur implying. And im happy to be a submissive guy, and it doesn't make me less of a man...

    • I bet ur the kind of girl whod critize me listening to Selena Gomez wouldn't you? You say i should be listening to rock or rap cause its more manly... I hate most rap and i used to listen to metal, but heck im out of that. Today im a proud Selenator!

  • I honestly hate dominate guys. Well specifically the overly dominate possessive guys. Because of my social awkwardness around strangers, I come around as a submissive type of girl. The type the more negative type of dominate guys try to force attraction on, but when I'm around friends or put in a situation I have to stand my ground, I am an alpha female. What I lack with strength I make up with my intellect and speed/stamia. So while I may need a dominate guy at first to approach me to get me out of my shell, I will show my dominate side eventually. Though if anything, I prefer an equal partnership. I can agree to switching roles, because I'd hate to be "in charge" all the time, but I'd also prefer to be in charge/control within most decision that involve me and my partner. It's just the way I am.

  • Dominant. It comes across as more manly, and I'm ridiculously attracted to manly dudes.

    • 1mo

      what? does it mean that we submissive men are not manly? oh come on. to be honest I am the most latest evolved human. I can say that my trait inherited from my father is more superior than anyone else. I am 80% resistance to both mental and physical stress. my brain is hardwired to do hard work. because my brain thought that if I don't work hard I'm gonna die. so for around 5 days if my brain detects that I don't work hard or study hard any or any intense activities my brain stops producing dopamine and it will activate my punishment mechanism this will cause a lot of pain and I experienced it. and I act like an Alpha male. but why I prefer strong women? because strong male + strong female = superior offspring. The reason why my brain chooses to be hardwired as sexually submissive. in order for me to find strong women. that is biological. a natural selection. always remember. the strong will survive. you should prefer sexually submissive Alpha Male. they are more manly than anyone

    • 1mo

      by the way. it's sad that out of 100%. I guess that only around 15 percent are sexually submissive Alpha Male. (I am not good at grammar. my left cerebrum is stronger than the right cerebrum. My brain is not specialized in processing words)

  • iddk, I prefer dominant...just because its rougher if he takes control.

  • i like a guy that is asserttive but not pushy, dominant without being totally overpowering.

  • I guess I'm a bit of a weird one since I would love to be the dominant one in the bedroom or at least equals. The thought of a guy dominating me isn't really a turn on (and in some cases a turn off). I'm also extremely shy so it'd probably take a lot of getting to know one another before I'd actually behave like that. The fact that you're too shy to tell someone you like them is cute even though I could probably never make it work with a guy like you because I can't do it either lol. Sucks for me.

    And don't listen to people that are calling you unmanly. It isn't a man's job to ask a girl out or dominate a woman. This isn't the fucking 40's. Men like that are truly a turn off.

  • I'm shy and passive when it comes to guys, so I'd prefer someone who was more dominant...

  • it depends on the situation. in the bedroom, dominant but sometimes in life it's good to let us boss you around too :)

    • What if he let's you think you're bossing him? Would that be a pretty good compromise? lol!

    • What ever works hey. Gotta fake it till you make it lol.

  • i think only creepers like their men to be submissive...

    • I love dominant girls! They aren't creepers they are freaking hot! For me a domme girl, is much more of a turn on then a sub girl

  • I want a dominant guy all the way, th kind that grinds real slow but never tee ssesive so i feel more loved in that way

  • I voted B.
    I prefer the man be dominant so that I can be submissive.
    I have been the more dominant one before and it was okay, but it doesn't really do anything for me.

  • I don't like submissive guys at all. Guys like that come across as weak and spineless.

    I prefer dominant guys to submissive guys if I had to choose between the 2, but I don't like guys that are super-dominant and try to tell me what to do and act like they rule over me. I prefer a balance but more on the side of the guy being direct and assertive.


What Guys Said 6

  • damn you girls why most of you want the guy to be dominant? that's a stupid norm that exists for centuries... personaly i like to be a submissive guy and the woman be in control... those 3 girls who voted for the guy to be submissive and the other 2 guys who agreed with that can earn my respects :-)

  • I really don't know what some of you guys are thinking. It doesn't matter "that you'd make a wonderful boyfriend" a girl isn't going to ask you out. She shouldn't have to ask you out. IT'S YOUR JOB TO ASK HER OUT! To hell with rejection. You're going to get rejected; deal with it. Start to love it! If you're the best looking guy around, some girl is going to reject you.

    Girls don't want to make choices. She doesn't want to pick the restaurant; she wants you to pick the restaurant. She doesn't want to choose between a movie or taking a walk; she expects you to figure that out. She doesn't want to kiss you; she wants you to kiss her.

    This is what guys don't get about women; it's what makes women seem so complicated. She wants to know why? She wants to know why you chose her. What was so special about her? If you can't figure out the restaurant, the movie, the walk, etc., you'll never figure out her. You make her feel like she's just any girl, and she loses interest.

    • Can you make some sort of PSA that says all of that?!?!

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    • @Down arrower; looks like I offended one of Dr. Gitusum's disciples. Go ahead; down arrow away. I'm just trying to save you money dumbass.

    • I like you. You realize that we like to feel special, the thing is it's like the guy making all the decisions like this kinda let us know the kind of things he likes too. The thing that shows a guy we like them is the fact that we don't reject them of the bat. Not to say it is as black and white as that though.

  • This guy is totally lacking balls.

    • Says the guy who answered a FEMALE poll

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    • So then why did you feel the need to click on a question meant that states: Ladies...

      I'm just wondering, your a guy, why bother even clicking on this question if its meant for ladies, shouldnt you have just skipped it?

    • Totally agree. NO BALLLLLSSSSSSS

  • So you know that most of these chicks want you to be dominant because they are dead fishes in bed, right? Same chicks that wouldn't fuck a virgin because its too much work lol. Love chicks that aren't afraid to be in control. I do like to be dominant but fuck, work some

  • I like the girl to b dominant ps I live in kansas an and wnt a hot babe to hook up with im 13

  • I like to be submissive to girls